"...Some s'plaining to do"

After the Order had all gone home for the night (the final straggler being Tonks who seemed reluctant to end the conversation she’d been having with Lupin despite her repeated yawning), Sirius rose from the bench and began gathering the dishes and utensils, dropping them haphazardly and rather noisily into the sink. He stood over the mound of dirty dishes and waved his wand. The dishrag gave a feeble flop and fell back over the faucet.

“Never mind,” Sirius said as he dropped back onto the bench. “Let the Mother-of-the-Year take care of them tomorrow.” Lupin looked up from the parchment he had been reading as Sirius sat next to him. He swung his leg over the bench and turned to face the other man, knowing by his flushed cheeks and the way his fists were clenched just so that he was ready to talk. Or rant. Probably rant.

“Can you believe what she was saying? How dare she throw my being in Azkaban in my face? As if it were some twelve year vacation I had chosen to take! And that bit about my not being able to tell the difference between Harry and James? Absolutely ridiculous…” Lupin remained silent as he stared down at the bench.

“What is it Moony? What are you holding back?” Lupin sighed and ran a hand through his graying hair before looking up at Sirius.

“I agree that her comments about Azkaban were underhanded. She was angry and her mother-bear instincts kicked in – it’s not an excuse,” Remus said quickly in response to the look of rising anger on Sirius’ face, “but it’s a reason. Regardless, it was entirely uncalled for.”

“But…go on, Remus, what else?”

“But, I tend to agree with Molly a little about you lacking the distinction between James and Harry sometimes.”

“What? How could you –”

“Stop, Sirius. You asked me to talk, so let me finish. I understand what you’re going through, really I do. When I first re-met Harry, I was stricken by how much he looked like James at that age. As I got to know him, I began to see that the similarity was definitely not just skin deep. Admittedly, it was easier for me to make the distinction. Harry was my student and therefore it was less difficult to view him as a young man and not my peer; not James. You haven’t had that advantage, and I think it’s made this hard for you.” Lupin paused a moment to gather his thoughts, purposefully avoiding Sirius’ gaze.

“The circumstances under which you and Harry were reunited…I imagine it must have been rather like you and James going adventuring again.”

“Yes, having to be rescued from having your soul sucked out through your mouth is just like the games James and I used to play.”

“You know what I mean. I just think that there is some validity to what Molly was saying.”

Sirius shook his head and scowled. “Et tu, Moony?”

“What are you getting at, Sirius.”

“Only the fact that you’ve turned on me, Judas. “I think Molly’s right, Sirius. We’ve said enough.” First that, and now this nonsense!”

Lupin shook his head as he tried to puzzle out Sirius' outburst. “What? Were we even involved in the same conversation? When Molly kept insisting that Harry know nothing, and all you could do was splutter on about how it’s not her place to decide; who was it that actually presented her with a logical argument why he should be told certain things? Who insisted that he deserved to hear the truth from those who could actually provide it?”

“Oh yes, well, thank you for getting my back on that, it’s nice to know that I can count on you a little.” Sirius made as if to stand up before Lupin grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back down onto the bench.

“What the Hell has gotten into you, Padfoot?”

Sirius swung a leg over the bench as Lupin had done earlier and turned towards him, glaring daggers at the other man. “I don’t know, Moony, perhaps it’s my re-introduction to confinement in this shit-hole. Perhaps it’s because I feel like I have no say in the life of my godson, what with Molly and Albus making all the decisions for and about him.”

“If you’re angry with them, be angry with them. Don’t take it out on me and throw ridiculous accusations around. For Merlin’s sake, I’ve been trying to help you! What would you have me do, Sirius? Did you want me to insist that Harry ought to be in the Order? Because I sided with you on everything else.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows and shrugged. “I don’t see why that would be so horrible. Harry has had to face things that some of us can’t even imagine! He’s so strong and so capable, and you know as well as I do that he’s going to have to become more involved at some point. Why not sooner rather than later?”

“He is no longer a child, this is true. But he’s a young man. A powerful young man, but a young man regardless. Yes, we all know that his involvement will become pivotal in the future, but oughtn’t we allow him to have some semblance of a childhood first? To enjoy what’s left of his youth while he can?”

“What Harry ought to have and what he will have are two very different things. Harry deserves to have a happy and normal childhood, just like anyone his age. But he’s not like other teenagers! I wish he was…” Sirius seemed to lose his steam for a moment, but the moment was fleeting. His face set in a mask of determination, he continued, his voice raised and insistant. “He has the right to know what’s going on. He has the right to be involved in the decisions that are going to affect the rest of his life!”

“Do you want to watch your godson die, Sirius?”

“What?!” Sirius’ eyes flashed dangerously as his fists clenched at his sides.

“Harry already has a target on him, do we have to make it three meters tall with flashing lights? Voldemort has nearly killed him four times, and that’s without him being in the inner circle of the resistance. Do you think he'd be safe going on missions and assignments? How long do you think he’d last if he became a full-fledged member of the Order?”

Sirius looked down at the bench, all ferocity slipping away from his form. His fists unclenched and he blinked slowly as if processing what Lupin had said. Remus brought a hand up to his shoulder and squeezed gently.

“I understand, Sirius. He’s been through so much and he has certainly earned the right to some explanation. You want him to be prepared and you want him to feel like he has a handle on things. But sometimes, it’s best to be left in the dark a little.”

“You’re right.”

“I know.” Lupin gave him a wry half-smile.

Sirius shook his head and sighed. “I’m sorry, Moony.”

“It’s alright, Padfoot.” Lupin ran his hand soothingly up and down the length of Sirius’ arm. “I’d be a bit mental if I were cooped up in here too.”

“It’s just so frustrating, not being able to...mental?”

Lupin chuckled lightly. “Please tell me my diagnosis needs no explanation.”

“Prat.”

“Git.”

“Poof.”

“Those in glass houses, Sirius...” Lupin leaned forward, placing a hand on the back of Sirius’ neck, pulling the other man’s mouth gently against his. Sirius’ hand slipped around Remus’ waist as the kiss continued, rubbing small circles on his lower back. Suddenly, Lupin jerked away from the embrace and looked over Sirius’ shoulder towards the slightly cracked kitchen door. After a moment, he removed his hand from the other man’s neck and guided Sirius’ arm from around his waist.

“I think we may have some more explaining to do tonight,” he said in response to the baffled look on Sirius’ face. Lupin raised his voice slightly as he continued. “Come in, Harry, I know you’re out there.”

The door opened fully and Harry entered in his pajamas, his eyes fixed on the floor, his cheeks burning red. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t sleep so I was wandering around…” he stammered as he spoke, his eyes cast downward, “and then I heard you two yelling and I heard my name, so I –”

“So, you decided to eavesdrop,” Lupin said with a smile. If possible, the blush on Harry’s cheeks became even darker. Sirius got up from the bench and walked over to where the discomfited young man stood hanging his head.

“It’s alright, Harry, we’re not angry.” Harry looked up to confirm that the look on Sirius’ face matched his words. “We didn’t want you to find out like this,” Sirius began, “but since you have, I want you to know that you can ask any questions you want. I don’t want there to be any awkwardness between us, so please, feel free to ask anything.”

“Anything?” Lupin stood as well and approached the two, placing an arm around Sirius’ waist. “Perhaps we should only tell him what he needs to know…” Despite the fact that Remus’ voice was filled with an obviously exaggerated caution, Sirius still shot a glare at the man standing next to him.

“I mean, really Sirius,” he continued, bringing his free hand up to his mouth, looking scandalized, but unable to keep the smirk from his face. “What would Molly and Albus think?”

~Scene.