NEXT: HP Style!
folder
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
886
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
886
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
NEXT: HP Style!
♥NEXT: HP Style!♥
Teh Awesome Les
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Severus sighed.
Albus gave him a jovial smile.
Severus sighed.
“It would be such fun, my boy! They finally did a world tour and I signed you up as the single male waiting for true love!” Albus laughed heartily, perhaps quite too much. The lanky-haired English Professor glared at the wall.
“I can not and will not go on a blasted game show, Albus! Especially if it’s being…what do you call those things?!?!?! Video-ed?!??! DVD-ed?!?!?” Severus glared once more; this time, a hole in the wall appeared.
“Oh, Severus. Please. They’re called camcorders and they RECORD. Get with the times, yo!” Albus did some ghetto hand gestures.
‘This is my downfall,’ thought Severus Snape as he was dragged off to London’s hustle and bustle.
~*~*~*~*~
Looking at the set, Harry Potter sighed and drank some more coffee out of his very cheap-probably used-foam cup, glancing at his best friend flirting with some guys. “Daters”, they called themselves. Harry sighed again. He wondered how probable it was that he and Draco were on the same show. But then again, Draco’s father was the CEO of a television broadcast company and he was known to pull and twist some strings in order to give his son all that he needed.
He wondered if he could sneak out now that Draco was…occupied. Probably not; Draco would hunt him down, strip him of his clothes, beat him up a little, and then drag him off to the set again. Why would he strip Harry of his clothes? Because he likes that. Harry took another sip of that oh so great coffee and sighed. This was going to be a long day.
~*~*~*~*~
“Alright! Where’s Mister Snape?!” George yelled into a microphone, a speaker phone, and a headset connected to a huge amp. It’s not that he needs to project his voice. George likes loud things. He glanced at his clipboard, “Severus? What kind of name is…”
“It’s Latin,” A dark, deep voice full of death and daggers and venom and twelve years of teaching English oozed dread and disdain through all syllables in attendance.
George fainted and his twin brother Fred, co-stage manager, tried to fan him awake. The redhead smiled nervously and Severus smirked in response. A barely audible squeak escaped Fred as he spoke,
“Mister Severus! Nice to see you! Now if you would dilly on over to the dressing area for a change of clothing…”
“That would not be necessary. Thank you for the offer,” Severus replied with a small frown. “I do not very much appreciate wearing other’s articles of clothing…”
“Well alright, but don’t you think it’s a bit hot out to be wearing…all that…black…?” Fred fiddled flinchingly with his flimsy clipboard and Severus scowled again. [zomg trying to alliterate LoL]
“I assure you. I am fine with the situation that I have placed myself in. And perhaps if you were to be a tad more accommodating to my preferences, I would not have to wait here in this blasted “tech area as you call it. But instead, I have to listen to you chatter away when my one and only wish for now is to get this over with entirely. Thank You. Sir.” The entirely too heavy, black-coated man sharply turned on his heel and seemed to approach the coffee bar. Fred was shocked and said “I’m guessing that’s a no,” before he fainted and landed on his brother’s chest with a thud.
“Now, now Severus! You did not have to be so fierce with the lad,” Albus worriedly said, making sure not to stare at the too much at the fainted twin pair of brothers in the middle of the tech area. Severus scoffed, pulled out an alcoholic drink from gods know where under all that void…[most likely scotch or some rather cliché Snape assumption of preference] and poured some into a flimsy foam cup. It was the morning. He was on the set of an MTV game show. Sometimes coffee just doesn’t cut it.
~*~*~*~*~
Fred (now more conscious than ever), trying to fan his brother awake, double tasked by yelling out orders at this “daters” to his headset. His voice was loud enough to reach the heavens, but, unlike George, he himself didn’t think the gods hear him right the first time. Draco rolled his eyes at Harry’s totally emo behavior as he chose and index card out of the two remaining.
“Aw, maaannnn. 4. At least it’s not last. Harry, love, I’m afraid that’s you.” Draco announced, “That’s the last person to go.”
“Please. I’m glad of it,” Harry relied, sulking, as he crossed his arms and entered the NEXT bus. All 5 “daters” already presented themselves to the camera; which consisted of Harry saying he “didn’t want to be in this hell hole,” but was cajoled into saying, “I’m ready to get tapped!” A “dater” named Seamus Finnegan rolled on the floor as he said so and Harry blushed about 5,000,000,000,000…..(etc…) shades of red, pink, magenta, royal crimson…
Harry sat on the farthest left on the couch and glared at the interior of the bus. A mister Blaise Zabini whispered in Draco’s Ear,
“What’s the deal with your emo friend there?”
“Oh, he’s got something up his arse.” Dean Thomas chimed seductively:
“Ooh. Really?”
“Yeah. You know it, that’s why he’s not happy to be here…he’s already getting some at his apartment with that dil-”
“DRACO!!”
The Seamus Finnegan who laughed at Harry’s earlier “ass-tapping camera deal” spoke in a loud, clear, proud, and totally Irish voice: “Lord knows we all need some! Especially me!” Insert catcalls and “Amen” here.
“Really? But you’re so hot!” Dean sounded a tad amazed. Seamus gave the other boy a suggestive smile.
“Why thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.” The tall Irish boy subtly scooted closer to Dean.
“My GAWD. Get a room!” Blaise whined.
“Snog! Snog!” Draco cheered.
“Alrighty then…” Seamus tipped Dean’s chin up and crushed the boy’s lips with his own. Already, it was obvious when the tongues came into play. Dean was submitting to Seamus’s devouring of his mouth. The kiss went on forever [wet noises included, thank you very much] and soon Blaise asked Draco if he’d like to snog as well. The blonde agreed and soon everyone on the bus was getting sexual except a certain Harry Potter. The boy sighed and closed his eyes. Why the flying fuck was he here?!
~*~*~*~*~
Why the flying fuck was he here?! Snape glared on a chair, in the dressing room, while he crossed his arms over his broad chest. The reflection of his gaze stared at him through a mirror. A woman, her face full of busy action, was powdering his face with make-up and such. Yes. Make-up on Severus Snape’s face. They even had to force him into a room, a lot of help from Dumbledore smiling broadly and calming him with fatherly words like, “It’ll all be over soon, my boy,” and, “Would you like treacle?”
Snape sighed. He hated life.
Teh Awesome Les
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Severus sighed.
Albus gave him a jovial smile.
Severus sighed.
“It would be such fun, my boy! They finally did a world tour and I signed you up as the single male waiting for true love!” Albus laughed heartily, perhaps quite too much. The lanky-haired English Professor glared at the wall.
“I can not and will not go on a blasted game show, Albus! Especially if it’s being…what do you call those things?!?!?! Video-ed?!??! DVD-ed?!?!?” Severus glared once more; this time, a hole in the wall appeared.
“Oh, Severus. Please. They’re called camcorders and they RECORD. Get with the times, yo!” Albus did some ghetto hand gestures.
‘This is my downfall,’ thought Severus Snape as he was dragged off to London’s hustle and bustle.
~*~*~*~*~
Looking at the set, Harry Potter sighed and drank some more coffee out of his very cheap-probably used-foam cup, glancing at his best friend flirting with some guys. “Daters”, they called themselves. Harry sighed again. He wondered how probable it was that he and Draco were on the same show. But then again, Draco’s father was the CEO of a television broadcast company and he was known to pull and twist some strings in order to give his son all that he needed.
He wondered if he could sneak out now that Draco was…occupied. Probably not; Draco would hunt him down, strip him of his clothes, beat him up a little, and then drag him off to the set again. Why would he strip Harry of his clothes? Because he likes that. Harry took another sip of that oh so great coffee and sighed. This was going to be a long day.
~*~*~*~*~
“Alright! Where’s Mister Snape?!” George yelled into a microphone, a speaker phone, and a headset connected to a huge amp. It’s not that he needs to project his voice. George likes loud things. He glanced at his clipboard, “Severus? What kind of name is…”
“It’s Latin,” A dark, deep voice full of death and daggers and venom and twelve years of teaching English oozed dread and disdain through all syllables in attendance.
George fainted and his twin brother Fred, co-stage manager, tried to fan him awake. The redhead smiled nervously and Severus smirked in response. A barely audible squeak escaped Fred as he spoke,
“Mister Severus! Nice to see you! Now if you would dilly on over to the dressing area for a change of clothing…”
“That would not be necessary. Thank you for the offer,” Severus replied with a small frown. “I do not very much appreciate wearing other’s articles of clothing…”
“Well alright, but don’t you think it’s a bit hot out to be wearing…all that…black…?” Fred fiddled flinchingly with his flimsy clipboard and Severus scowled again. [zomg trying to alliterate LoL]
“I assure you. I am fine with the situation that I have placed myself in. And perhaps if you were to be a tad more accommodating to my preferences, I would not have to wait here in this blasted “tech area as you call it. But instead, I have to listen to you chatter away when my one and only wish for now is to get this over with entirely. Thank You. Sir.” The entirely too heavy, black-coated man sharply turned on his heel and seemed to approach the coffee bar. Fred was shocked and said “I’m guessing that’s a no,” before he fainted and landed on his brother’s chest with a thud.
“Now, now Severus! You did not have to be so fierce with the lad,” Albus worriedly said, making sure not to stare at the too much at the fainted twin pair of brothers in the middle of the tech area. Severus scoffed, pulled out an alcoholic drink from gods know where under all that void…[most likely scotch or some rather cliché Snape assumption of preference] and poured some into a flimsy foam cup. It was the morning. He was on the set of an MTV game show. Sometimes coffee just doesn’t cut it.
~*~*~*~*~
Fred (now more conscious than ever), trying to fan his brother awake, double tasked by yelling out orders at this “daters” to his headset. His voice was loud enough to reach the heavens, but, unlike George, he himself didn’t think the gods hear him right the first time. Draco rolled his eyes at Harry’s totally emo behavior as he chose and index card out of the two remaining.
“Aw, maaannnn. 4. At least it’s not last. Harry, love, I’m afraid that’s you.” Draco announced, “That’s the last person to go.”
“Please. I’m glad of it,” Harry relied, sulking, as he crossed his arms and entered the NEXT bus. All 5 “daters” already presented themselves to the camera; which consisted of Harry saying he “didn’t want to be in this hell hole,” but was cajoled into saying, “I’m ready to get tapped!” A “dater” named Seamus Finnegan rolled on the floor as he said so and Harry blushed about 5,000,000,000,000…..(etc…) shades of red, pink, magenta, royal crimson…
Harry sat on the farthest left on the couch and glared at the interior of the bus. A mister Blaise Zabini whispered in Draco’s Ear,
“What’s the deal with your emo friend there?”
“Oh, he’s got something up his arse.” Dean Thomas chimed seductively:
“Ooh. Really?”
“Yeah. You know it, that’s why he’s not happy to be here…he’s already getting some at his apartment with that dil-”
“DRACO!!”
The Seamus Finnegan who laughed at Harry’s earlier “ass-tapping camera deal” spoke in a loud, clear, proud, and totally Irish voice: “Lord knows we all need some! Especially me!” Insert catcalls and “Amen” here.
“Really? But you’re so hot!” Dean sounded a tad amazed. Seamus gave the other boy a suggestive smile.
“Why thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.” The tall Irish boy subtly scooted closer to Dean.
“My GAWD. Get a room!” Blaise whined.
“Snog! Snog!” Draco cheered.
“Alrighty then…” Seamus tipped Dean’s chin up and crushed the boy’s lips with his own. Already, it was obvious when the tongues came into play. Dean was submitting to Seamus’s devouring of his mouth. The kiss went on forever [wet noises included, thank you very much] and soon Blaise asked Draco if he’d like to snog as well. The blonde agreed and soon everyone on the bus was getting sexual except a certain Harry Potter. The boy sighed and closed his eyes. Why the flying fuck was he here?!
~*~*~*~*~
Why the flying fuck was he here?! Snape glared on a chair, in the dressing room, while he crossed his arms over his broad chest. The reflection of his gaze stared at him through a mirror. A woman, her face full of busy action, was powdering his face with make-up and such. Yes. Make-up on Severus Snape’s face. They even had to force him into a room, a lot of help from Dumbledore smiling broadly and calming him with fatherly words like, “It’ll all be over soon, my boy,” and, “Would you like treacle?”
Snape sighed. He hated life.