Final Haven

This is a side-story for "The Butterfly Effect" in the Harry/Draco section. It's incomplete so far, but I just needed a break from it, so I figured what better way to make a break than some smutty-licious smut? This is my first time out of the H/D section, so be kind to me.

***

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
Quentin Crisp

***

The way up to Ivy Cottage was almost as quaintly pretty as the cottage itself. The road was unpaved, but tidy, and lead over a stone bridge into a small vegetable garden. Growing orderly and well-cared for were several varieties of vegetables, and off to the side of the garden were fruit trees, bare in the winter. There was a light dusting of snow on the ground, but not enough to do more than chill the feet.

The cottage itself was nestled behind a delicate wooden fence, cushioned behind the winter's remnants of a glorious flower garden. The windows were mostly aglow with warm light, and the entire building gave off the feeling of welcome, despite being warded to the last nail against unwanted intrusion.

James took the few steps leading up to the door in one stride, and glanced behind him. No one had followed, but there were a few tiny snowflakes drifting down from the grey sky above. Pushing the door open, he was assaulted by the smell of roast beef and potatoes, with peas and bread rolls. It was just the sort of supper one would expect to come home to after a hard day at work. For a moment, if he closed his eyes, Lily would be smiling at him, her apron tied around her front, and Harry zooming around on the broom Sirius had gotten him for his first birthday. The broom had been destroyed when ...

He opened his eyes again, and nothing greeted him except the cool dark hallways of a still-unfamiliar house. They'd been there for a little over a year, hiding out far away from England and all it's troubles, but he'd only just begun to notice the things around him. His memories of the first few months spent in Ivy Cottage were simply bottles of alcohol, and Regulus taking said bottles away from him.

Coming into the house proper, he toed off his boots and left them by the umbrella stand. It contained two overly large umbrellas, a cane with a beak for a handle, and some loose change near the bottom. Regulus's two pairs of shoes were tucked neatly into the little alcove, while James's boots were haphazardly tossed in however they would fit. He almost tried to find new and inventive ways to place his shoes when he took them off, because the next time he would go for them, they'd be neatly seated beside Regulus's, and he didn't go around tidying things like shoes. Especially when there was no one there to tidy things for.

He'd tried explaining that to the ex-Death Eater, but the youngest scion of House Black was hearing none of it. "Even if we have no company to keep neat for, we should still not let ourselves wallow in filth," Regulus had said on more than one occasion.

"Two pairs of shoes at odd angles to one another is not filth," he'd retorted, and Regulus had just sighed, and straightened them when James wasn't looking.


A lot seemed to happen when he wasn't looking, he supposed. The house seemed warmer away from the door and entrance hall, filled with a life that he didn't contribute to. Coming into the kitchen, he saw two places set, complete with glasses and silverware, and a quietly humming Regulus at the stove.

James felt awash in fresh guilt. Not only was he useless to Lily and Harry when they needed him most, he was becoming a burden to Regulus, as well. Taking in his younger house-mates appearance, he reflected on the changes. He wore a bandage over the Dark Mark at all times, and James knew how much he hated it. He was wearing a pair of loose-fitting jeans, and a tee shirt, over which he'd donned an apron that seemed to have frilly lace on it. He wore no shoes or slippers, just socks, which seemed strange to James. He needed shoes on, or nothing, and couldn't simply walk around in stocking feet.

"Heyah," he said quietly, but Regulus jumped anyway.

"James! I didn't hear you come in. Dinner will only be a few more minutes,"

He'd changed over the past year. Not just physically; being in hiding had taken it's toll on both of them. James, having been targeted by Voldemort himself, was trying to live long enough to see Harry into Hogwarts, and Regulus, having deserted the Death Eaters, was wanted for an entirely different reason. Hence, the small cottage outside of Kiltimagh in Ireland, nearly as far from Wales and the rest of the UK as they could get. Though, now that he'd finally woken up from what seemed like a stupor, he noticed physical differences, as well. He seated himself at the table on 'his' side, and remembered that he'd been sitting there for months, eating mechanically. He didn't remember half of it.

"I've been a bloody sodding idiot," he announced, as Regulus put food down in front of him.

"Pardon?" The snake-animagus was more than a little bit surprised by this sudden outburst.

James nodded, pointing his fork at himself. "I've been ... away, for a while. Taking advantage of you. I'm sorry. I can't have been good company these past few months."

To his surprise, Regulus simply smiled. "James, we've both lost our family and our homes. The difference is, one day, I can go back to mine, while yours will only ever live on in your heart. That can take time to heal. I don't blame you."

The words were far from what he really wanted to hear, which was that he'd been a complete horses ass, and Regulus wanted him out as fast as he could pack.

The two young men ate in companionable silence for a while, and then James couldn't help but say anything about it.

"That's a uh, nice apron," he mentioned, grinning. Regulus looked up at him, confused for a moment, and then down at himself. James could see the heat in his face before he'd even looked up, and he yanked the offending cloth over his head and tossed it in the direction of the sink.

Still blushing furiously, he tried to stammer out an explanation. "I found it... while I was cleaning today, I went up in the attic. It seemed, er... well, lonely, and... I just couldn't... I didn't realize I hadn't taken it off, you see,"

He lowered his face until his hair fell in front of his eyes, and fell silent, concentrating on eating. James let him stew in embarrassment for a while.

"I think it was cute," he said finally, and was almost ashamed of himself when, instead of making Regulus angry, it simply caused him to blush further, the pink tinge on his cheeks darkening to red and spreading to his ears.

Dinner passed in companionable silence, but James noticed that the reddish hue never quite faded from Regulus's face, and that the other boy didn't quite look him in the eye. Something was clearly afoot, and he'd get to the bottom of it, or he wasn't Prongs the Marauder.

Regulus did the washing up while James straightened the kitchen, putting away things that had been left out and sliding everything back into it's accustomed places. They'd been expressly forbidden to use magic; Dumbledore said it was too easy to trace two wands into a place like Kiltimagh where there was supposedly no magical folk at all. James recalled dozens of such evenings, making the kitchen look presentable without ever really being there. Regulus had grown up, too, while he'd been looking elsewhere.

The younger Seeker's hair had grown out, into his face and onto his shoulders, and his eyes seemed harder than they'd been in Hogwarts. His body was still slim and toned, they both were, but James could feel the beginnings of fat clinging around his midriff, and vowed to work it off now that he'd woken up from the apathy of his grief.

"I'm going to bed," Regulus announced quietly, drying his hands. "Good night, James." He vanished around the corner before James could even draw in a breath to reply, and not for the first time, James wondered how much Regulus had been doing around him while he wandered lost in his melancholy.

"'Night, Regulus," James said to the empty room, and waited for Regulus to have time to fall asleep before joining him in the bedroom. To save space, and money, and time overall, they'd simply acquired a large mattress, and slept on separate sides. It wasn't uncommon for one or both of them to awaken tangled around the other, but these incidents were dealt with smoothly.

When he entered the room and began stripping, a noise from the bed woke him, a soft whimper. He paused, and waited, but nothing else came, and he changed for bed. As he was sliding into the warmth of his sheets, the whimper came again, and a muted whisper that could have been "Sirius".

Before James could even process this, Regulus jerked upright, screaming in the throes of a nightmare. James lunged for him and dragged him across the mattress, holding him tightly.

"Reg! Wake up! It's just a nightmare! You're alright! Sirius is alright too, he's with Remus. It's alright, wake up."

He felt it when the tension leaked out of Regulus's body, to be replaced by wracking sobs. The two Seekers clung to one another, one comforting and one terrified, until they both fell asleep.

*

Spring advanced on them quickly, melting the winter snows and thawing the ground. James never stopped taking his daily walks around the small town, never quite going inside the boundary, and as soon as he was able, Regulus was out in the garden, planting things and making sure they'd grow.

He always made sure to be inside and making dinner before James came back from his walks, however, and James found himself wondering what Regulus would look like, kneeling in the dirt and digging like a muggle child with the small shovel.

His walks, usually anywhere from fourty-five minutes to an hour and a half, were always predictable. He'd started taking them in order to get out of the house, and away from the stifling presence of a constant companion, and fell into the habit.

He set out on his walk as he normally did, pulling on his boots and coat, and waving to Regulus before heading out, but this time, he transformed himself into Prongs and doubled back. It was exactly as he'd pictured it, Regulus kneeling on some muggle pads for the knees that he'd found in the garden shed, along with the rest of the tools, heavy gloves protecting his fingers from the soil. James found himself fascinated with Regulus's fingers sometimes, always noticing how long and slender they were, aristocratic, and almost feminine. He'd always taken good care of his hands, while James's own fingers were rough and calloused from broom-handling, and work on the house at Godric's Hollow.

When the name brought nothing more to mind than a rush of remembered happiness, he could have jumped into the air. Regulus inched forward, carefully removing weeds and adding nutrients to the small plants already pushing their way up boldly through the topsoil. Stepping closer, James could hear him muttering things under his breath.

"Stupid weeds, get out of my garden, this isn't where you belong, you belong out there, where you can grow, and leave my poor babies alone, don't you? There you are, lily, you're all set to grow nice and tall and give us pretty flowers now, and you rosemary, you'll do great in time." He laughed at his own joke, and James felt a rush of... something... swell up inside him.

This was his Regulus, the Regulus that no one had ever seen before, only him. James crept around to the back of the house, and put his things away, before settling in a chair near the window to continue watching him.

Nearly an hour had gone by, and Regulus checked his watch, frowning. James could almost see the thoughts going through his head, 'James is late, I'd better start dinner, I wonder where he is...'

Amused, James made himself comfortable, waiting to surprise Regulus. One day, he'd go into town and bring them back something nice from a restaurant or something. He'd cook for him, but they were both aware that James couldn't boil an egg, much less cook a meal.

Regulus came inside, humming, and paused when he saw James's shoes already neatly placed back into their usual spot.

"James? Are you back already?" he called, and James could hear the note of confusion in his voice. He went into the kitchen, still calling out, and James followed him, sneaking as quietly as he could.

"James, this isn't funny," Regulus said loudly, and turned around. James, standing directly behind him, watched him jump as he realized he wasn't alone, and lean against the sink, covering his mouth with one hand. "James you ass! You scared the hell out of me!" He growled, and hit the stag animagus on the arm. James just laughed.

"Reg, you should have seen your face," he grinned, and Regulus made to hit him again.

"If I die early, I can trace it's source back to today!" He said, pushing off the sink and making his way around James.

"You'll be fine. What's life like without a little bit of excitement?"

"A lot longer," Regulus said, shooting the other Seeker a dark look over his shoulder. James just laughed again. "If you think I'm cooking for you after you just scared the hell out of me, and then laughed about it, you've got another thing coming," Regulus said warningly.

"That's alright mum, I can make a sandwhich," James said, and Regulus threw a dish towel at him. He couldn't quite keep the smile off his face, however, and James relaxed, feeling really happy for the first time in months. "C'mon, if you don't do it, I'll have to try to cook myself something, and then we'll have to call the fire brigade to come and put the flames out."

Regulus came back in wearing the apron he'd found ages ago, the green-and-pink one with lace around the edges. "You get away from that stove, James Potter, or I'll hit you with my spatula." He weilded the utensil like a sword, or a wand.

"I thought you threw that thing away," James said, and Regulus twirled like a girl in a new dress.

"I was going to, but I just couldn't part with it," he said, only the faintest tinge of a blush heating his cheeks. "Now get out of my kitchen, and let me work in peace."

Thoroughly chasticed, James made his way into the living room to watch soap operas on the BBC.

It wasn't much longer afterwards that Regulus called that it was ready, and James breathed deeply, inhaling the smell of spaghetti and garlic bread. "God, Regulus, you're an angel," he said, leaning against the doorway. Regulus, wearing the feminine apron that made his eyes seem green, and holding a pot of spaghetti with enourmous pot-holders, seemed very wifely, and James felt another surge of that un-named emotion inside his chest. The thought of Regulus going away made him feel heartsick, and he felt that he was mere seconds away from crossing the kitchen, pushing the pot out of the way, and doing... something... to Regulus. He followed the pot with his eyes, and the feeling vanished, as suddenly as it had come. He settled himself in his normal spot, and poured them both some of the soda Regulus had set out.

"Thank you, Regulus," he said quietly, and Regulus smiled. "You're welcome, James," he said easily.

*

Regulus's nightmares were fairly regular, if not often. James simply comforted him, holding him close until the terror of the dreams faded, then let him fall back to sleep quietly, never asking anything of him.

He was, he thought later, repaid in kind for his actions by accidentally opening a door one day.

He'd come in from his walk, having taken it earlier than usual, and found that Regulus was nowhere to be seen. Slightly worried after going through every inch of the house, he pressed open the bathroom door, and steam rolled out. The shower was covered in glass that did nothing to hide the body within, and James stopped short as he was treated to the sight of Regulus coming against his own hand. He could hear a soft keening noise that somehow slipped into his brain under the deafening thud of his heartbeat, and the image of Regulus's face as he climaxed would be burned into James's mind for the rest of his life.

Inching back out into the hallway, James pulled the door shut behind him, and leaned against the wall, trying to assimilate the images.

A few moments later, the door opened, and Regulus walked out clad in only a towel. "Sorry James, did I keep you waiting long?"

How can he sound so ... normal after that?! James nodded mutely, and scurried into the bathroom before Regulus could ask anything else.

*

Wherever he looked, all he could see was the expression on Regulus's face that day in the bathroom. It haunted him, in his dreams, and while he was awake. It got to the point that he couldn't even look at Regulus without picturing that expression, without picturing being the one to make Regulus make that expression. It was so bad, a month after the actual incident, that Regulus had begun noticing things were different between them.

It happened on mid-summer's day. Regulus was in the kitchen, washing the dishes after their dinner, and James was watching him. The apron had become a permanent part of the routine, and James, secure in his mental privacy, had begun to imagine ... scenes. Between himself and Regulus. Currently, he was staring absently into the space between his eyes and Regulus's arse, imagining that the younger Seeker was doing the washing up wearing nothing but that hideous green and pink apron.

Before he was really even aware of what he was doing, he'd climbed to his feet, and cornered Regulus against the sink.

"Forgive me," he whispered, almost inaudibly, and kissed him soundly on the lips.

Regulus stared up at him, unresponsive in his surprise, for about two seconds, before he began returning the kiss passionately.

The next thing James was really aware of was pushing Regulus down into the mattress, with no recollection of moving from the kitchen into the bedroom. Regulus's hips arched up to meet his, and they moaned in unison.

"Please, James, fuck me?" The whisper was broken, interrupted by another soft moan that wrestled its way from his throat of it's own accord.

"Reg, I.. I don't know..." He trailed off, and Regulus smiled from beneath him.

"Clothes off, now," came the quiet order, and they separated only long enough to rid themselves of the restricting clothing. Coming together nude was an entirely new experience for James, and the feeling of so much bare skin pressed against his was almost novel. Regulus was completely different from Lily, in so many ways - he was hard, where she was soft. He was angular, where she'd been curvaceous.

James looked down into fathomless grey eyes, so like those of his best friend, and so much deeper in different ways, and prayed to anything that would listen that he wasn't simply on a rebound from Lily's death.

While he'd been comparing his two lovers in his mind, Regulus had been busy, rooting through the bed-side table on his side, revealing a small tube of oil. "Do you know what to do?" He asked, his voice husky. James, embarrassed by his lack of knowledge, shook his head. "I'll do it," Regulus said, and pushed James back off him a bit. James watched curiously, a fire in his eyes, as Regulus coated his fingers liberally in oil, and then reached between his legs.

James felt new life thunder into his cock as Regulus reached past his own throbbing erection, bending his knees to reach easier, and pressed two of his own fingers against his entrance. He watched as though hypnotized, seeing those long, aristocratic fingers that he loved so much pressing inside Regulus's body, smearing the oil around. Regulus curled around himself a bit, and reached further in, moaning loudly at his own actions.

"Now, James," he ordered, pulling the slightly larger man over him again and guiding him to follow the path marked by his own fingers. James pushed into his body slowly, feeling the incredible heat surrounding him an inch at a time.

Regulus writhed, arching his back up to press James in faster, but the elder Seeker was having none of it. He held Regulus's hips into the bed with his hands, bracing himself on his knees, and began placing butterfly kisses to every inch of bare skin he could reach, while he both allowed Regulus's body to adjust to his intrusion, and talked his orgasm off the brink of exploding.

Once they were settled, he drew back again, just as slowly, and Regulus keened. "Faster, James, please," he begged breathlessly, his head thrashing against the pillow. "Ohh, you tease, go faster!"

He kept the pace steadily slow, building up the friction between them almost leisurely. Pleasure coursed through him, the likes of which he'd never known before, and Regulus had wrapped his legs around James's hips in order to press him into moving quicker.

"Harder," he begged, and in response, James sheathed himself fully and stopped moving. Regulus whimpered, gasping. "James!"

"Regulus!" James said, teasingly, and began rotating his hips without withdrawing. Regulus began writhing and whimpering, pulling in long gasps of air as he tried to hold back his climax.

James surprised him by suddenly pulling back almost to the point that he was totally withdrawn from Regulus's body, before pushing back in forcefully. The speed and vigor of his thrusts were stimulating in refreshing ways after the shallow, teasing thrusts of before, and Regulus found himself on the peak of orgasm before he'd even realized it.

Release thundered through him, sending James off in the next moment as his muscles contracted with the force of his climax. The feeling of James spilling his seed into Regulus's body sent him into shuddering after-shocks.

The two men lay curled around one another for a long time afterwards, saying nothing, but comfortable in their silence.

It was Regulus who broke it at last. "I've wanted you to do that ever since I first became Seeker for Slytherin," he admitted quietly. James blinked in surprise.

"You.. have?"

"Mmhmm," Regulus snuggled closer to him, eyes closing as sleep claimed him. James stayed awake for a long time after, considering what he'd done and with whom.

He prayed once again, for the third time in his life; twice in that night. He prayed that Sirius would never ever find out that James was shagging his brother and loving it.

***FIN***
You may be confused. Why is James alive? Why is Regulus alive? Why are they holed up in western Ireland? Well, the answers can be found in my in-prog work, The Butterfly Effect ( http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600011821 )

This is just an off-shoot; they haven't even reached this point in the main story. I just needed to get the pr0n out of my system, so I could keep writing.