Jump Into the Light

JUMP
INTO THE LIGHT

By
Rave XTM

Genre:
Darkfic, one shot,

Pairings:
Draco/Harry

Summary:
'Not
to save him', he told himself. 'To beat him up. To punish him'. It
was Harry's fault he was angry. Harry knew not to make him angry.

Disclaimer:
Not mine. I just borrow J.K. Rowlings toys and put them back neatly
when I’m done torturing them. No, I make no money of this, its
purely for my own sick pleasure.

Feedback:
Very welcome! No flaming really, its only a waste of time.

Authors
note’s: Abusive Draco, depressed Harry. Very OOC, so consider
yourself forewarned. A songfic, based on Spring
from Rammstein and Para-noir from Marilyn Manson. The Rammstein
lyrics and the translations are on the bottom of the page. Written
in a few hours and not beta'd. So, if you see any mistakes, let me
know.

_____________________________________________________

'For
you, I jump into the light'

He
reread the note several times, taking in the familiar hand writing.

A
twisted smile formed on his face.

'He
wouldn't', was his first
thought.

The
smile faded slightly.

'How
dare he?'

He
pursed his lips, looking downright angry.

'No
fucking way!' His
pulse quickened slightly.

'What
if he really...' He
felt his mouth gone dry.

Without
putting down the letter, he Apparated to the place where he had found
Harry a long time ago, knowing he would be there. He was so
predictable.

His
vision troubled by the setting sun, which he looked straight at when
he looked for Harry, and saw him standing on the edge of the bridge,
his arms open.

He
didn't even look up.

“Potter”,
he said.

No
response.

He
sighed and tried again.

“Harry”.
This always worked.

Harry
looked up.

His
eyes were puffy and red, tears streaking down his face.

“What?”
He croaked.

“I
found your note. I didn't believe you actually would”.

Harry
turned his head away again.

“Go
away”.

'Wow.
It sure took him long to say that'.

“No.
I think I have the right to be here. I, after all, am the one who
broke you down to this point”.

“Don't
give yourself the credit. I let you, remember? I would not be here if
I would not have let you”.

'What
the fuck? What the hell was he talking about?'

“What
the hell are you talking?” He sounded angry, and took a few
steps closer.

No
one ever talked so smug to him, especially not Harry. Especially not
Harry who was about to commit suicide.

Harry
took a step back and turned around.

“I
was waiting for you, you know. I never thanked you”. He had the
strangest look in his eyes.

Draco
stared. What the hell was going on?

“You-”,
he started, yelling. Where the hell did he got the nerves? Rage
boiled up inside him. He took a few more steps, standing directly in
front of Harry, raising his fist, landing on Harry's yaw. He fell
over by the force of it, nearly missing the edge of the bridge.

Draco
dived forward and grabbed Harry by the collar.

'Not
to save him', he told himself. 'To beat him up. To punish him'. It
was Harry's fault he was angry. Harry knew not to make him angry.

Blood
tickled from the corner of Harry's mouth. Roughly he jerked Harry
upwards, licking of the blood. Harry's
blood tasted so good if he made him bleed. He crushed their lips
together, with a force he was sure would leave some bruises. Still
with the coppery taste un his tongue, he shoved it in Harry's mouth,
one hand sneaking behind Harry's head, to the base of his skull. He
crawled on top of Harry, pressing their groins together, he was
hardening already. So was Harry, much to his surprise.

“So,
start licking beatings more and more, do you?” He whispered
near Harry's ear, biting his neck hard. When he looked up again, he
saw something he had not seen on Harry's face in years. A smile.
Nothing meaningful and it didn't even reach his eyes, but it was
there non the less. And it broke something inside Draco. A rage
unknown to him, boiled up inside. He slammed his fists everywhere he
could reach, hearing something break every once in a while.

“FUCK
YOU! I HATE YOU!” he screamed. “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!”.

He
did not stop until he was covered in blood. Only then he took out his
wand to heal some of the worst injuries, but not before he admired
his handy work.

Harry
was a complete mess. Almost unrecognizable. Blood everywhere, all
bruised and swollen. His eyes were closed. No doubt he was
unconscious.

After
muttering a few spells, Harry stirred and slowly opened his eyes. He
coughed and his mouth was captured by Draco's again. He felt his
shirt rip and hands caressing him everything but gentle. A few
moments later, Draco ripped of his pants, and shoved his dick inside
in the same manner he had treated Harry before.

I
fuck you because your famous

I
fuck you to control you

I
fuck you to fuck you over

I
fuck you until I find someone better

And
god, Harry hated himself. He hated the world. He hated Draco. For
loving it. Loving every second of it. Loving it so much that the day
after, he hated himself again. He hated himself so much, he regularly
cut of burned himself badly. Just because he loved it so much. He
knew he shouldn't love it. He should hate it. But he didn't. He loved
it so much, he started to move his hips in counter rhythm, begging
Draco to go harder, to be rougher.

I
fuck you because I can't feel it anyway

I
fuck you to make the pain go away

And
Draco, he loved himself. He loved the world and he loved Harry.
Because he hated it so much. Hated every second of it. Hating it so
much that the day after, he fucked Harry again. And again. And kissed
his cuts and burns better, because they should not be there, because
he didn't make them. How dare he do that to himself? He shouldn't. He
couldn't. Harry was his. His and only his. It enraged him. Everything
about Harry enraged him. So he fucked him harder, he fucked him
rougher. But it did not help. It made Harry moan harder. Which
enraged him more. Which made him hate and love Harry more.

I
fuck you out of boredom

I
fuck you so I can feel something instead of nothing at all

Then,
Harry came.

It
was not the first time Harry came before he did. He kept pounding
into Harry, as hard as he could.

I
fuck you because I'm your whore

His
muscles protested painfully, so he tightened his grip on Harry's
upper arms, droplets of sweat dripping on Harry's abused bare chest,
mingling with blood.

I
fuck you because you are a whore

Then,
quite suddenly, he came. Hard. So hard it almost hurt. He grunted and
he cursed and let himself fall on top of Harry.

I
fuck you because you are beautiful

I
fuck you because I can

“To
make the pain go away...” he heard Harry mutter.

“What?”
Draco's head snapped up. He could not have heard that correctly.

“But
it does not go away. You make it worse. So much worse”. Harry
stared at him, expression utterly blank.

Draco
stared back.

Something
was wrong.

Draco
got up, got dressed and lit a cigarette. He needed to smoke badly.

He
noticed his hands were shaking.

Because
he knew something was horribly wrong. He could shut off his mind, but
not his body.

Harry
also got up. And got dressed. And took a knife. His hands were very
steady.

“Hold
out your arm”, he said in a voice almost serene.

Why
Draco did hold out his arm was beyond him, but he did.

Harry
set the knife to his pale skin and pushed and pulled until a crimson
line appeared. Then, he pocketed the knife again. He brought Draco's
arm to his lips and sucked the wound, almost gentle. The motion made
Draco want to vomit. Made him want to punch Harry yet again. And it
left him utterly aroused.

He
stood rooted to the spot.

Rooted
when Harry stepped closer, pressed his lips against Draco's softly.
Then brought his lips to Draco's ear and muttered, barely audible,
“Thank you. I could not have done it without you”.

He
wanted to ask what. But he didn't. Because he didn't want to know.
All he wanted was to stop time. He could not call Harry back, because
his voice failed him. He was so overwhelmed by his own feelings.
After all these years, and he never knew. Never knew what he really
felt. Never.

Harry
kept holding his eyes while he stepped back. He did turn his head
when he turned around, walking to the edge of the bridge.

And
then Draco moved. Did something he never thought he would. He
followed Harry to the edge.

“Redeem
me”, Harry said. Demanded.

“Don't
disappoint me”. Draco said.

He
kicked Harry in the back.

“I'll
redeem you from this shame. Jump for me!” he screamed.

But
Harry did not jump. He let himself fall, but not before he said “Into
the light”.

Harry
fell. And he fell. And he kept falling until he reached the pavement.
And he kept still.

And
Draco watched. And watched. Watched Harry fall. Fall until he reached
the streets below, making a sickening noise, splattering the streets
red, never getting up.

“Fuck
you because I love you! I don't need a reason to hate you the way I
do!” Draco screamed and screamed, until his voice died away.

FIN

Rammstein
lyrics and translations: