All Those Issues

Remus knew full well that he had issues. He had a lot of them. "Volumes," he would say. "It's much more like volumes than issues."

There was the lycanthropy, which was just the most obvious of them. He had a bit of a chocolate addiction, and that had started because chocolate was the only thing he could turn to to quit smoking, which he'd taken up to help "deal" when Sirius had been sent to Azkaban. After James and Lily had died, and Peter had too — supposedly. When he found out he was still alive, he'd bought a pound of chocolate, which he couldn't really afford, but he needed it.

Then there was the repressed homosexuality. He knew he was the worst closet case in all of history, and he knew, too, that it wouldn't be the end of the world to come out, but after years of hiding his reaction to full moons, keeping secrets was something like a reflex.

There was a list of others, and he was considering adding another: necrophilia. It wasn't something he'd ever really considered before, but since he was getting so aroused by someone who couldn't possibly be alive, what other explanation was there?

"You're supposed to be dead," he whispered, unable to come up with any better response to seeing the smoke-shrouded figure in front of him.

"What's that?" the figure called out. He was across the room, so of course he couldn't hear whispering properly.

"You're supposed to be dead!" Remus repeated, louder. He swallowed, ran a hand across his face, blinked. No, the dead guy was still there. "You fell through the Veil."

"Did I?" Sirius asked, as though dying was some sort of drunken escapade one could forget about without much worry. He coughed a little as the smoke dissipated, then crossed the room to where Remus sat. "I don't feel very dead."

"But you are. I saw it happen myself." It wasn't that Remus wanted him to be dead, but he just couldn't believe at that moment that his best friend was back with him.

"No, pretty sure I'm alive. Here, feel." Sirius took Remus's hand and put it to his heart. It beat strong, and tears pricked the werewolf's eyes.

"How?" he asked, his voice trembling.

"Don't know. I remember a lot of white, and I think I saw my mum — which was horrible, you know — and then I told someone about wishing you'd just admitted it to me, and then I was standing in a cloud of smoke in this... room. Is this your house? It's kind of a dump, don't you think?"

"Admitted what?" Remus chose to ignore the comment about his house. It was temporary, they were at war, and he was poor. What did Sirius expect, really?

"That you're gay, of course."

"I'm not gay, Sirius," he lied, shifting slightly.

"The tent in your trousers says different, Moony." Sirius fell to his knees abruptly, putting his hands on Remus's thighs and looking into his eyes. "Plus, it was on your list of issues."

"You read that?" He wasn't sure if he was surprised, offended by the invasion of privacy, or thankful. He tried all three at once, but it came out much like "How's the weather?"

"Did I ever mention that I was bisexual?" Sirius asked, moving his hands further up Remus's legs. "Because I was pretty sure I mentioned that, however much of a loser he was, Snivellus was always pretty hot."

"I don't think we should be having this conversation right now," Remus choked out, but his cock respectfully disagreed, twitching as Sirius's fingers massaged closer and closer.

"I think this is the conversation I might possibly have come back from the dead just to have," Sirius said, and he popped open the button-fly of the werewolf's ragged pants, pushing his robes out of the way.

"You came back from the dead to proposition me?" Remus gasped as Sirius took him in hand, stroking slowly. "That's—"

"A lot like me, really." Sirius smirked. "And I expect some sort of reciprocation later, you know. After you've gotten over the shock."

"So you won't— you won't go back to being dead after this?"

"Don't think so." Sirius leaned up to kiss him quickly, running a tongue over his bottom lip before ducking back down and taking as much of his friend into his mouth as he could manage.

Even as Remus cried out from the sensation, he made a mental note to change Issue Number Forty-Six to "Only Slightly Repressed Homosexuality."