A Death Eater’s Humorous Revenge

Chapter One

It’s just another ordinary day for Harry Potter. He is finally on his way back to Hogwarts from a nice summer holiday with his best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. Normally he would have been stuck at his Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon’s house for the summer, but since he had finally killed Voldemort at the end of his sixth year he had no need to go back because he no longer needed protection against a dead guy (dead for sure this time because he had turned into a pile of black mush and then was burned just to make sure and now his ashes remain in a magically warded urn locked with so many spells even Merlin himself could not get it open). So he spent the entire summer at the Burrow playing Quidditch, talking to Ron, playing pranks on the rest of the family with Fred, George, and Ron, of course, and just having fun for a whole summer, instead of the usual month he got.

Now he was seated in a train compartment on the Hogwarts Express, alone and happy to be that way. You see he barely had any time to himself the last two weeks he was at Hogwarts because of the final battle. After he had won, it was all he could do to get to go to the bathroom alone, and even that was hard because he always had people following him everywhere and I do mean everywhere!

As he sat on the seat, knees drawn up to his chest with his arms hugging them, enjoying the silence, his thoughts led him somewhere that was unexpected. He began to think about Draco Malfoy!

It started out innocent, as it always does, with thoughts of ‘ I wonder how his summer went’, ‘ Probably spent the whole time having parties what with his dad in Azkaban and his mum in Greece’, ‘ I wonder if he changed over the summer’. Then they started to get a little more….. heated.

‘He probably still looks the same in general, with that smirk permanently plastered onto his face, and his hair pulled back into a loose ponytail’, I wonder if his hair got any longer’, ‘ I would love to see it down, caressing his face and splayed across his slightly muscular shoulders’, ‘ I’m not the only one that Quidditch has been good to, I can tell by the way his shirts cling to his body and show off his flat, taught stomach, and the way his jeans hug his toned legs and hips, the way his arse looks when he wal whaaaat the HELL and I THINKING!’, ‘ I did not just think let alone picture Dra-Malfoy’s arse in my head!’

‘No, you did’

‘It was a mistake I prom… wait I don’t explain anything to you….I mean me….I mean…Oh you know what I mean!’

‘Of course I do since I’m you…..Well your conscience any way’

‘Oh I know who…what you are! The question is why in the bloody hell was I thinking about Malfoy’s arse?!’

‘Maybe you like him, I mean you are bi’

‘I know that, but I mean he’s my enemy! I shouldn’t be thinking about my enemy like that! We are supposed to hate each other’

‘Supposed being the operative word here’

‘And just what is that supposed to mean?’

‘Well maybe he likes you too; I mean he did help you out during the war’

‘Not me personally, just our side. And besides I barely even saw him during the entire thing’

‘Well maybe he just didn’t want to see you get hurt so he just stayed away from you’

‘No he stayed away from me because he Hates me, got it’

‘Ok whatever you say I mean it is your brain’

‘Exactly now just shut up and leave me alone so I can enjoy my peace and quiet you stupid idiot’

‘You do realize you just insulted yourself, right?’

‘Hey I thought I told you to….Oh just shut up will you?’

‘Ok ok no need to get all pissed I’m just trying to help you know’

‘I know, but I would prefer to think about something else now so if you don’t mind’

And with that he was left to enjoy solitude, until Ron and Hermione came back from their Head Boy and Girl meeting thirty minutes later.