Le petite mort

Le petite mort
Dying never felt so right

The pieces start falling apart - Ever since first year they had been in the same house. They had classes together, they shared a common room, they even shared the same position in the Quidditch team – both were Beaters -, but they had never really noticed each other.
Off course, she had heard stories about the great Hogwarts Stud and had laughed at the silly girls that pined over him on many occasions. And he, on his turn, had heard about little Butterfly Devinia and her activities with the males in their year. She had a thing for bad guys, he discovered. But they had no intention to get to know each other better. It was a ‘hi’ and a ‘bye’ with them, but that all changed after playing a spectacular Quidditch match. After that they found themselves both wishing they had never won the match. If only they had known what would happen, than they probably hadn’t even boarded the Hogwarts Express. But they didn’t know.
And so, on September first, Devinia Moreaux and Sirius Black quickly exchanged a ‘hi’ and a ‘bye’ when they bumped into each other, while getting their trunks on the train. After their little exchange of words they went on their way to their own compartments, where their own group of friends was waiting for them.

“I had the most exhausting summer,” Devinia growled, when she let herself drop on one of the seats in the compartment. Lily Evans and Dorcas and Dorian Meadowes were already seated. The only one missing was Alice, but she was probably with her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom. The two girls and boy looked expectantly up at Devinia, who after her complaint about her summer said nothing more.

“Oh, hi Devinia, how was your summer? Oh, it was exhausting, well, mine was pretty good, thanks for asking and yes, I’ve missed you too,” Dorcas said, rolling her eyes at Devinia. The raven-haired girl eyed her apologetic.

“Sorry love, I actually wanted to miss you, but didn’t have the energy to do so, since my summer was exhausting,” she smiled.

“Yes, so you said,” Dorian nodded.

“Anyway, I spend most of it at Potter’s house and Rudolph wasn’t pleased.”

She started giving the whole 411 on her summer vacation and her friends listened closely. Devinia Moreaux’ life was never boring. Somehow exciting things were attracted to her. And it was mutual. For example, on the first day of school, five years ago, she had managed to fall into the Great Lake, throw up on Rubeus Hagrid and got sorted in Ravenclaw, only for the Sorting Hat to call her back and say: “Sorry fair one, I was confused by your looks. Gryffindor should be your house.”

Now Devinia certainly wasn’t the prettiest one of all. She wasn’t the kind of girl that got a boy mesmerized simply by the way she looked – though the Sorting Hat seemed to think differently. Lily Evans, par example, would most definitely beat her at a beauty pageant. It was her attitude that made her cute and in combination with her easy-to-the-eye-facial features and body that was the magical mix that caused people to call her beautiful. Though it wasn’t meant in the ‘you’re-drop-dead-gorgeous-way’ but more in a ‘you’re-cute-way’. And Devinia was happy about that. Looking drop-dead gorgeous meant having to keep up your appearance. Being cute meant being able to walk around in your worn out baggy pants and comfortable hoodies. And let those pieces of clothing be Devinia’s favourite things to wear.
But even in her baggy pants and sweater she had managed to capture the eyes of quite a big part of Hogwarts’ male population, starting with Dorian Meadowes, the brother of her best friend Dorcas.

They had dated from spring in first year, through the entire second year and had eventually split up halfway through third year. Their relationship had been unbelievably cute; true high school crushes. Holding hands, walking to class together, exchanging sweet kisses, all the teachers had loved them. After Dorian, Devinia began with the real work. She went from Peter Pettigrew, to Alaster Krowler, then back to Peter, leaving him for Lucius Malfoy, but their relationship only lasted a month.
Devinia later told her friends that he was way too arrogant for her and he had been very disapproving of the fact that she was friends with a Muggleborn. Devinia herself didn’t care about Lily’s background – pureblood or not, she was a sweet girl – and she could certainly not date a guy who made it clear he had a problem with it. If he had just kept it to himself everything would’ve been peaches and cream, but no, Lucius had to exclaim loudly in the Great Hall how much he hated ‘Mudbloods’.

After breaking up with him, Devinia stayed far away from relationships. In fourth year she showed to be hopping from one guy to the other, experimenting with her little projects – as she liked to call her many, many dates – and every once in a while she chatted things up with Peter again. Yes, she was known as the Butterfly during fourth year and some even called her Devilish Devinia. She surely behaved like a devil, leaving a trail of broken hearts – with Peter’s heart leading the list.
And the list only continued to grow, since Devinia wasn’t quite done with ‘experimenting’ with her ‘projects’, as Devinia liked to call to call her after-class activities. It did worry Dorcas, who rather saw Devinia hooking up with Peter again.

She was about to see her wish come true – at the end of fourth year Peter and Devinia had become rather close again – when something strange happened. Well, a LeStrange happened. Because Devinia fell head over heels in love with Rudolphus LeStrange. She was one year below him, but somehow he had managed to notice her. And make her notice him. It came as a complete shock, when suddenly, on the last day of school, Devinia and Rudolphus had walked into the Great Hall together, holding hands.
They had sweetly kissed each other on the lips before they went to sit down at their own tables to eat breakfast and from that moment on the couple LeStrange-Moreaux was a fact. Off course Devinia had to endure the Gryffindors accusations that she was a traitor for dating a possible Death Eater and Rudolphus’ fellow Slytherins were absolutely sure that he had lost his mind: having a relationship with a muggleloving Gryffindor definitely stood on their not-to-do-list, especially when one of your housemates had already tried. And no one doubted that they would be over by the time school started next year. But now sixth year was coming up and they were still together.
And frankly, nobody was surprised anymore. Rudolphus had shown to be very jealous and protective and they had had their fair share of serious rows, but that had just made their bond stronger. She kept him straight, not letting him walk the path to the Dark Lord that he eventually was destined to take and he kept her close. They were perfect for each other. At least, that’s what everyone seemed to think.

At the moment, Devinia was just thoroughly annoyed with her boyfriend. He had been busy all summer.
When she asked him why she couldn’t come over, he had sneered at her that his whole life didn’t evolve around her.
She sarcastically had invited him over at her place, since it was clear she wasn’t allowed in his house anymore and he had yelled that she was being a brat.
After being hit in the face, he had hissed that she sometimes really found a way of making him forget why he loved her. She had let him say those things. Saying that she made him forgot why he loved her, meant he still loved her. And that was good. She knew he was under a lot of pressure from his father. This would be his last year. He had to be initiated. Over my dead body, she stubbornly thought. She understood if he was cranky and she would let him take it out on her.
But when he had crashed James’ place, placing a few well-aimed punches in the latter’s face and than apparating her and her trunk out of there, had really caused her blood to boil. And it hadn’t stopped boiling since. They had gone to his house, he had thrown a temper tantrum and had hexed his house elves – he had to hex something and hexing Devinia would do more harm than good -, Devinia had stormed out of the house, had gotten lost and eventually had forced Rabastan to bring her back to the Moreaux Mansion.
Four hours after arriving home, Rudolphus showed up. They had talked, did some other stuff – which involved the kitchen table - and eventually he had left being mad to the bone, leaving Devinia irritated. And she still was irritated; only now she wasn’t annoyed because Rudolphus had stormed into James’ house, but she was irritated at the fact that he was mad at her. It had been six whole days since she had last seen him and he hadn’t answered any of her owls.

Dorcas gave her a questioning look.

“Why, exactly, is Rudolphus mad at you?” she asked slowly.

Devinia shrugged.

“Nothing special. You know how he gets when I’m with guys,” she answered, but Dorcas didn’t buy it.

“I’m not stupid, Dev, tell me what you did.”

Devinia quickly looked at Lily – who wasn’t listening to her story at all, but sat reading a book – and murmured something.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” Dorcas said.

“I said,” Devinia said a bit louder than she intended to. She continued in a hushed tone.
“I said it might be possible that I snogged James as a dare and it could be that Rudolphus found out.”

Dorcas jaw dropped to her knees.

“James Potter, you snogged James Potter!” she hissed. She then got up and hit Devinia on the back of her head.
“Are you crazy?!”

Dorian groggily opened one eye. He had fallen a sleep somewhere in the whole story – Devinia’s problems with her boyfriend didn’t interest him. As soon as he found out that Devinia’s super exhausting summer had been exhausting because of Rudolphus he had drifted off to the world of sleeping beauties and never-ending chocolate supplies. He eyed his sister and friend with an annoyed look.

“Please, I’m sleeping, don’t yell.” His eye closed and he was fast a sleep again.

“Loser,” Dorcas muttered. “But let us continue. Why in the world did you kiss Potter?”

She didn’t let Devinia answer.

“I know, it was a dare. What did LeStrange say? Please start with him beating up Potter and end with the owl you sended him.”

Devinia took a big gulp of air. What was there to say? Rudolphus had appeared in James’ backyard and had gone straight for his target. He had tackled James, grabbing him in between his legs, and started beating the living hell out of the boy. Peter had tried to stop him, but Rudolphus was much bigger and stronger than him. Only when Remus and Sirius arrived on the scene, Rudolphus had let James go. He had then grabbed Devinia, calling for her trunk and apparating them both out of there.
When she opened her eyes again, they were standing in his bedroom. She had screamed at him for beating her friend up, he had yelled something about trust. A House elf had entered his room, asking if his master needed something. The poor thing was sent flying through the room, hitting the wall with a rather hard bump as a reward for his genuine concern. At that Devinia started yelling even more and Rudolphus, who had really reached his boiling point by then, had started cursing his House elf into oblivion.
Devinia had averted her eyes when the Elf was presented with the Conjunctivitis Curse. She couldn’t stay here; she had to go home. She ran out of the LeStrange mansion, only to return half an hour later. She couldn’t find her way back home, not on her own anyway. There were no House elves to great her – Devinia quickly wondered how the unfortunate one was doing – and she went to search for Rudolphus, but Rabastan told her he had gone out, looking for her. If she would wait, he could bring her home when he returned. Devinia had no intention of waiting. She threatened to hex Rabastan if he did not apparate her home this instant. And so he did. She was home in the blink of an eye.

It was almost midnight and Devinia already was in her PJ’s – nothing fancy, just a worn t-shirt – rummaging through the kitchen in search of food, when Rudolphus apparated to her house. She detected his presence when he started screaming.

“What the hell were you doing at Potter’s house?!” he yelled at her.
His eyes shot fire and Devinia cautiously took a few steps backwards. She had never seen him this mad. His fist was still bleeding from hitting James so hard, but he didn’t seem to notice. All his attention was focused on her. Normally she loved having his undivided attention, but at the moment she would give her life for something that distracted him for glaring at her like that.

“Answer me!”

She backed up a bit more, until the back of her leg hit the table. She leaned against it and Rudolphus took this as his queue to stalk over to her. He hovered over her, his face dangerously close to hers. It didn’t happen often, but now she sure as hell was scared of her boyfriend. She gulped.

“Answer me, Devinia,” he whispered. “Don’t make me force you.”

Her mind didn’t quite comprehend his last words. Force her? Would he really hurt her if she kept her mouth shut? Time would tell, because he grabbed her arms and shoved her completely on the kitchen table, so that she laid flat on her back. He crawled on her, and even though she was still scared as shit, she suddenly felt strangely aroused. Rudolphus must’ve felt the same, because when she didn’t answer, he brought his face closer to hers and softly started nibbling her ear. His tongue caressed the inside of her auricle and she shivered.

He felt her slightly shudder beneath him, he could even feel her body temperature rise. He buried his nose in the crook of her neck. Softly he bit her shoulder, letting his tongue run over her bare skin. Just the slightest of moans escaped her and he bit even harder.

“Does that turn you on, Devin?” he whispered hoarsely in her ear.

A hot quiver went down her spine and she felt the familiar throbbing between her legs coming up. He placed kisses along her jaw line, avoiding her mouth, while she wanted so badly for him just to kiss her. She tried to grab his lips with her mouth, but he turned away. He started nibbling in her neck, sucking softly. That would turn out to be a nice hickey, Devinia managed to think. She slid one hand beneath his shirt, with the other she started tugging on his pants.

She felt him grin against her skin.

“I could use some help,” she whispered. God, her voice sounded randy.

Rudolphus just smiled and lifted himself a bit, allowing Devinia to unbuckle his belt and pull of his pants with her feet, taking his boxers with her in the process. She arched her back, pulling up her knees to give him better access, but Rudolphus smiled and kissed the tip of her nose.

“Not so fast, love,” he said. His hands stroked the insides of Devinia’s thighs and she moaned softly. She felt his hot breath on her face, their noses were almost touching. His fingers kept playing their game and she grinded against them. He slit them inside her, stretching and stroking. She threw her head backwards, hitting it on the table, but she didn’t care. Feeling Rudolphus’ fingers inside of her was just too much. She pulled his hair and kissed him hard; allowing his tongue to slit inside her mouth and start exploring terrain that already was so familiar but remained undoubtedly exciting. He took his fingers away from her and she felt disappointed.
But as soon as his wet fingers started caressing her sides, she forgot all about that. She could feel his excitement, touched it with her hand, but Rudolphus had other plans. He lifted her shirt, kissing every bit of newly exposed skin. His fingers drew circles on her tummy, sending chills through her entire body. She couldn’t take it anymore and jerked her shirt of.
Rudolphus smirked. He let his eyes roam over her almost naked body.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, his voice loaded with lust and passion. He started kissing her again, working his way down to her breasts. He took one in his hand, massaging until both her nipples were ice-hard and pointy, sending shivers of pleasure through Devinia’s body. She locked her legs around his hips, pushing herself against him, almost begging for him to thrust inside her, but instead, Rudolphus, grabbed her hair with force, pulling her head back, so that her back arched and her breasts were fully exposed to him in their full glory. He kissed the piece of flat skin in between them, than eyed her coyly. His tongue did pure magic, causing Devinia to stir and groan out loud. She arched her back even further, tightening her grip on his hips. Her breath came out in uneven gasps and Rudolphus smirked.

“Rudolphus, please,” she moaned. “Do it, please.”

He placed a finger on her lips and ‘shh-ed’ her.

He abandoned her breasts, kissing her muscled belly down to sensitives. She wanted to pull him back up, she wanted to kiss him again, but Rudolphus didn’t let her. He opened her legs with his hands and lowered himself. Devinia moaned so loudly, that she vaguely wondered if the neighbours could hear her, when she felt Rudolphus’ tongue on the inside if her thigh. And then suddenly he was in between her legs, caressing her with his tongue. She closed her eyes, panting heavily. Rudolphus knew she would reach climax soon. Her hands pulled his hair, pulling him closer between her legs. She shuddered and when she reached her highest point, she screamed his name.

“LeStrange..!”

He loved it when she screamed his name. It almost made him forget why he was here. He almost forgot that he was mad at her. Almost, but not quite yet. He felt her liquid flush over his face but he didn’t mind. Then he kissed her navel. Immediately Devinia pulled him up, kissing his face all over. His nose, his eyes, ears, jaw, lips. Everywhere.
She captured his tongue and fiercely battled it. He was still aroused, she felt it, and for the second time she opened her legs for him. This time he didn’t refuse. He thrusted inside her hard. Once, twice, thrice. He fastened his pace and she dug her fingernails into his back, completely lost for her breath. She bit his shoulder, begging for the fire inside her to be put out.
She was burning up and she didn’t know how much she could take anymore. Rudolphus head was buried in the crook of her neck as he grinded against her, completely in sync with her. They moved as one. It wasn’t gentle, not at all; it was passion, lust and anger, a lot of anger.

“Please, please, LeStrange,” she pleaded.

She tightened her leg’s grip around his hips, pressing hers against his and setting the pace. She lifted her hips, again and again, closing and opening her legs, until Rudolphus slammed into her. It was as if he put all his anger in there. She whimpered when he slammed into her again.

“Why were you with Potter,” he hissed, thrusting into her after each word.

She heard him, but she couldn’t answer. She didn’t even understand what he was saying. The words flew right past her. She couldn’t contain herself any longer, she felt herself come and opened her mouth to scream, but Rudolphus catched her lips in a hard kiss. He silenced her, kissing her roughly. She felt him come undone. She kissed him and ran her hands through his hair, while he lay panting on top of her.

“I love you so much,” he whispered. “And yet you keep tormenting me.”

She had smiled. She had wanted to kiss him again. But he hadn’t given her a chance to do so. Instead, he practically threw himself of her, grabbed his clothes and walked out of the kitchen.

“I know that you kissed Potter,” she had heard him say, before he apparated back home.

Right after he left, well, right after she had gotten herself together again, she had written him a letter, explaining why she had kissed Potter. She had said that it was no big deal, it had been a dare, and she had to do it. So yes, she kissed Potter, but he still meant the world to her. She would never stop loving him. She had signed the letter with: forever yours, Devinia.
The next day her owl had returned, but no reply came. The past six days Devinia just stayed at home, waiting for Rudolphus to show up, as she expected him to. She didn’t feel like going outside anyway, she still felt incredibly sore after the little kitchen-incident. But Rudolphus hadn’t showed up. And no letter ever came.


Dorcas slowly nodded her head.

“I could’ve lived without the in-depth kitchen-table description,” she smiled softly. “But I do understand why Rudolphus is mad. And I also understand why you’re walking like a penguin.”

Devinia blushed lightly but still managed to glare at her friend. She wasn’t supposed to choose sides with Rudolphus. Why couldn’t she understand that it was a dare and nothing more than that? Plus, she did not walk like a penguin. Her mind yelled at her that she did and Devinia quickly blocked the annoying voice out.

“Oh, I do understand that it was a dare,” Dorcas said, “I just think you should’ve refused it.”

“Yeah right and look like a pussy,” Devinia hissed.

“Rather be a pussy, than losing my boyfriend,” Dorcas countered. Devinia opened her mouth to answer, but halfway changed her mind.

She sighed.

“You’re right, you’re fucking right,” she admitted. She then smiled at Dorcas and grinned: “Y’know I hate you, right.”

Dorcas nodded and replied cheekily: “Yes dear, I love you too.”

It took Sirius quite a while – after his little encounter with Devinia – to find his friends. Normally they sat in the back, but this time the compartment was occupied by Slytherins. Bellatrix Black had smirked at him; he had waved his hand and sent her quite a lovely smile which caught her more off guard than one of his famous smirks would have. Rabastan and Regulus were chatting with Narcissa, while Lucius studied his own reflection in his pocket mirror. They actually look like normal people, Sirius thought. He smiled at his brother, who cocked his head to acknowledge Sirius’ presence.

“Lost your group of boy scouts?” Bella asked.

“Not really, but I see you’re missing one of your sissy’s,” he retorted. Indeed, Rudolphus wasn’t in the compartment.

“And that’s better for you,” Rabastan spoke up, “since he’s still pissed at you.”

Sirius put on his most innocent face.

“At me? I wasn’t the one who kissed James, was I?”
Bellatrix sent him a death’s glare.

“Did you have to tell him? You know how jealous he is,” she asked softly.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow.

“He’s not my friend, I don’t care about his happiness, I do care about the happiness of Devinia, she’s my friend, so yes, I had to tell him,” Sirius replied.

“Friend?” Bella chuckled. “Devinia is not your friend. She never was and never will be.”

“If she really was your friend, you would’ve kept your mouth shut, you stupid fuck,” Rabastan almost yelled, but managed to keep the volume of his voice under control.

“Don’t interfere in other people’s relationships, it’ll cost you, sweet cousin,” Bella hissed.

“He doesn’t deserve her,” Sirius stated, before leaving the compartment.

“And I bet you do,” Rabastan called after him.

When Sirius eventually found his friends, he was in the foulest of moods and didn’t speak until they reached Hogwarts.