The sun rises 1/1

**The sun rises**


The sun rises. The sun reaches it zenith. The sun sets.

Get up.
Get ready for the day.
Eat some breakfast.
Go to lessons.
Eat lunch.
Talk with friends in-between.
Keep smiling.
Laugh over jokes.
Go back to lessons.
Eat once more.
Play chess and be checkmated.
Do homework.
Try to convince your friends that everything is just fine.
Get ready for bed.
Try not to think too much.
Try to fall asleep.
Try not to dream.
Lay awake for ages.
Sleep terribly.
Have the same dreams you’ve been having every night for the last six years.
Wake up before moon is gone.
Watch the sunrise.
Cry silently.
Get up.

That was just another ordinary day in his life. He sighed softly and smiled lightly. It had become a habit for him to sigh often. He sighed again.

Harry sat dreamily in an empty section of the library. He loved this place. He could sit here forever, just staring out the window and following the paths of the clouds with his eyes. His elbows were on the table, his fingers were crossed and his chin rested on his knuckles.

Outside, a chilly wind pushed the fluffy clouds quickly across the sky. Harry sighed yet again. He looked down and shook his head. He couldn’t write any more. His mind was empty.

He was about to close the small leather book he had written in earlier when he heard his name being called.

“Potter”, the voice spat. “What are you doing in the Slytherin Corner?”

Sod it! He had forgotten the time. Every other day he had been gone before Malfoy and his friends showed up. Harry closed the book quickly. He didn’t get a chance to lock it with the sealing spell, because it was out of his hands in less than a minute.

“What’s this, Potter?” The all-too-well-known voice asked with a short laugh.

“Take your filthy hands off it, Malfoy!” Harry growled.

“Don’t you dare say that again! The Malfoy family's hygiene is impeccable. Though I can't say the same for you and your friends, sorry,” he sneered and shot a pointed look at Harry’s messy hair. “So the great Potter has a diary. What secrets does it hold? Your oh-so-primitive longings?”

“None of your business, Malfoy. Give it back.”

“Oh, I think I’ll just take a look at it, shall I?” he asked the other Slytherins behind him. They laughed and nodded.

“NO!” Harry screamed, trying to get his book back.

“Hold him!” Harry was caught by Crabbe and Goyle.

“DON’T MALFOY!”

But he only smiled and sat down in the chair in which Harry had sat before.

Malfoy glanced over the first pages, which dealt with Harry’s dreams about Voldemort. His mocking smile faded with every page he read through.

Harry stopped fighting against the two stronger boys and just stared at Malfoy, who went paler than normal when he reached the latest entry.

We’ve known each other for so long now, but I do not know you at all. You are my life-long enigma.

I have embraced you every silent, lonely minute in my daydreams and my night dreams alike.

I have listened to you, although you were not speaking to me. You never spoke to me, or with me. You spoke over me. Oh yes, I know. But you do not.

I have played with you – in my dreams.
I have kissed you – in my dreams.
I have tasted you – in my dreams.
I have loved you – in my dreams.
I have lived for you – in my dreams.
I have lived with you – in my dreams.

Now I am awake. And I think of you again and again.

I have followed you a long way. I have followed in your footsteps. I felt your warmth, when I sat on the chair in which you previously sat. I smell your flavour of arrogance and ignorance. You smell so luscious.

You will be my only future, but you don’t know. I will be your luck, you will be my curse. You take my mind away. You even take my heart away. You Stole my soul. I have been sleepless for countless nights.

You are the longing inside me.
You are my dearest wish.
You are the drummer of my heartbeat.
You are my mirrored reflection.

Whenever I am around you do not ignore me. You let me feel your dislike for me. You make fun of me. You take me on in countless fights without cause.

I do not want to fight, not against my other part. I am the fire inside you, my dragon. Every word you fire at me only shows your passion for me.

Your hate is my love. Our passions are the same, but with different meanings. I would have done anything for you.

But you guided me into lunacy. Was it your plan to finally win me over? Well you did a good job. You won.

I do not know what to think right now. Where have my thoughts gone? I am more confused than ever. Why did you do what you did today? Was it to torture me?

You are already holding my heart in your hand; do not squeeze it so tightly. It is fragile. It has cried because of you. It has screamed because of you. It has bled because of YOU!

You turned my world. You decided the speed. You controlled my oxygen.

You have taken it from me. Out of my lungs. I have tried to breath but I found myself helpless. I needed you for every breath I took.

You have the power over time, I often thought. Because my days were lost. I could not remember how and when I got up, nor when or whether I got something to eat, nor how I managed school and the routine at all. You have stolen my time, like a primitive thief.

I was always your alibi. You used me whenever you were aroused. You gave me all your rage, despair and hate. I do not deserve this.

I do not want anymore of you. I cannot survive this. I would rather live without any feelings than be a vulnerable victim against your emotional explosions.

I have to…


He finally closed the book and stood up.

“What did Potter write in there?” Pansy asked.

“Yeah, what? Some naughty things?”

They were all curious what Draco’s answer would be.

Harry was free now, but stood still where Crabbe and Goyle had released him.

“Now are you happy Malfoy?”

“Who were you writing about?”

“None of you business.”

“WHO?”

“I said, none of your damn business!”

“Draco, what did he write?” Pansy asked again importunely.

“Nothing.”

“Oh, but it took you so long to read it.”

“Yeah, and you’ve this weird look on your face.”

“Right, what’s the Wonder-Boy hiding?”

“What are his secrets?”

“Everything alright, Draco?”

“Shut up! All of you!” Malfoy was shaking with increasing rage. “I said ‘nothing’ and that’s it!”

He shot Harry a furious look and swirled around, leaving the library without another word or glance.

Harry sealed his diary and put it in his bag, nearly running out of the library.

* * * * *

Days went by. The sun rose, the sun reached its zenith, the sun set.

Everything was the same as it was in the days that went before … well, almost everything. It was quiet in Hogwarts. At least, it was quieter than normal. Something was different. It seemed to everyone as if Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy had called a truce.

But, in fact, they were avoiding each other.

Harry was too embarrassed about the whole library thing and Draco was too confused to confront Potter.

Draco realised that he missed the arguments with Potter, the little fights. He missed the furious eyes of the Boy-Who-Lived. Was he already missing him?

That could mean nothing good! He’d already started thinking about Potter!

No, he had to correct himself. Actually, he was thinking about that ridiculous diary!
Why in the name of Merlin did he write that? He knew that it was him Potter was writing about.

Damn, that wasn’t right!

He decided to talk with Potter. He had to be sure it was about him. And when he found out it was, well that would be another problem.

* * * * *

He went to the library, knowing he would find Harry there.

“Potter.” Silence followed these words.

“Potter, I’m talking to you!”

“Really? I only heard my last name.” Harry answered calmly. He pretended to read without looking up.

“I must know.”

“Huh?” Harry took a short look at Malfoy before he lowered his head again.

“You know what I mean!”

“Nope, I don’t.” He turned over a page in the book.

“Potter.” Malfoy sat down opposite of Harry.

“I already know my name, thanks.”

Draco Malfoy was impatient, he hated being ignored. So he clenched his fist and rose up, taking Harry’s book away.

“I’m talking to you.”

“I see.” Now Potter’s gaze lay on Draco.

Green eyes met grey and Draco felt uneasy.

“So what do you want to know?”

“Who’s the person you’re writing about?”

“Don’t you know?”

He didn’t answer.

“No? So it’s none of your business.”

He didn’t answer.

Harry took his book back and opened to a page. “Well, was there anything else you wanted to know? I have to finish my homework.”

He didn’t answer.

Harry kept reading and Malfoy kept staring. After a few minutes passed, Malfoy suddenly whispered, “Is it me?”

Harry stopped reading and sighed.

“What if I said yes?”

-fin-


A/N: this is the prequel of ‚No lonesome Christmas’ so I had to publish it first… I didn’t want to, but oh well…