"Chasing Cars"

Warnings: angst, abuse, implied anal sex, maybe slight Out-of-Characterness (but I tried not to...your call), character death in two of the alternate endings. Anal sex in Chapter 5 (fluff, though...Chapter 5 is purely hot gay teen sex fluff!)

Author's note--Heard it and the plot bunnies pounced. Each single line is the song, and the lines that begin with (//) are either spoken or thought. I think you'll be able to tell who says what, but let me know if you're confused.

It makes sense to me, but I guess it doesn't exactly follow HBP in that it doesn't matter about Dumbledore because Dumbledore is alive. Lucius is a bastard, and Voldemort hasn't bit the dust yet.

Here's the thing--I got all the way to the last verse, and then couldn't decide how to end it. Several possible endings came to mind, so I wrote them all down and you can choose which one you want!

I also decided to interpret "chasing cars" as "shagging"...even though the sex isn't *actually* described (sorry!) and "around our heads" means "basking in the afterglow of orgasm from hot gay teen sex". :D

This chapter is the "body" of the song, up until the end, at which point there are three possible endings, so I'd recommend waiting until I have all three posted (tonight) before you choose which one you want (and let me know which one you chose!)

The first two alternate endings are both sad and angsty...I finally wrote something that didn't end happily (and it's MY version of tragedy: Harry and Draco are separated...although you *could* interpret the endings of the tragic endings to mean that they won't be apart for long...you'll see what I mean)

BUT I did write a happy ending that I personally like the best. But for any angst-whores out there ;) enjoy the first two!

Oh, and my normal policy for reviewing still stands (if you want to) but I just HAVE to share this with you because it made me laugh for about half an hour straight.

Credit for this goes to Demitria Miriam, from her story Harry Potter & the Slytherin Rivals of Hogwarts Chapter 11:

Every time you neglect to review a story, Draco Malfoy goes straight. Please! Think of Draco’s reputation!

My response: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, WE CAN'T HAVE DRACO GOING STRAIGHT!!!!!!!! (Isn't that FUCKING AWESOME?)

**********


"Chasing Cars" (by Snow Patrol)

We'll do it all

// Potter, how could you mess up such a simple potion?
// Leave me alone, Malfoy.
// Knock it off, Ferret. Just sod off!
// Why don’t you make me, Weasel? What’s the matter? The Golden Boy can’t take care of himself?
// It’s alright, Ron. What do you want, Malfoy?
// I just want to know how you’re going to save the entire bloody world if you can’t even make a simple Everlasting Elixir.
// Malfoy, you of all people should know that there is nothing ‘simple’ about Advanced Potions.
// No one asked your opinion, Mudblood.
// Don’t call her that, you fucking ferret!
// Come on, Malfoy, knock it off.
// Make me.
(Harry finally gets angry and lunges at Draco. They wrestle until Draco ends up straddling Harry, pinning his wrists. He leans down to Harry's ear before Hermione and Ron yank him off of Harry)
// *whisper* This is what I live for, Potter.

Everything

// Malfoy, are you okay?
// Fuck off, Potter.
// You-you’re crying????
// I am not! Mind your own goddamn business!
// It’s okay to cry. Everyone does. Come here.
// I said LEAVE ME ALONE!
(Harry wraps his arms around Draco, pulling him into a comforting embrace. Draco doesn’t resist)
// *whisper* This is what I live for, Malfoy.

On our own

// Hey, Potter, how’s our scar-headed savior doing today?
// I ought to hex you into next week, you Slytherin shit.
// Ron, it’s okay. Lay off. I’m fine, Malfoy. How are you?
// I’d be better if I didn’t have to fight with your little Gryffindors every time I look at you.
// Don’t worry about them.
// Harry, what’s going on?
// Nothing, Hermione. Malfoy and I just understand each other now; that’s all. I appreciate you and Ron trying to protect me and all, but he’s right. I have to learn to take care of myself.

We don't need

// Draco, I don’t know what is going on between you and Potter, but if he’s bothering you in any way, just let me know and…
// Professor, I know you’re my godfather and all, but I don’t need your help. I know what I’m doing.
// That remains to be seen, Draco, but I certainly hope so.

Anything

// Draco, what’s the matter with you? You’ve been THIS close to smiling all week, and you haven’t hexed anyone lately. Not even when Nott accidentally sat in your seat at breakfast.
// Nothing’s the matter, Blaise. Stop looking at me like that, Pansy. Bloody hell, can’t a guy be happy without you two getting suspicious?
// What’s going on, Draco? You can talk to us.
// Do you really want to know that badly?
// Well, YES!
// Okay…it’s Potter. We're...well, it's complicated, but he makes me happy.
// *gasp* Did he Imperio you or slip you a potion? I’ll kill him! I’ll fucking kill him!
// Potter? Draco, are you…gay? You-you can’t be! You’re supposed to be in love with ME!
// Blaise, STOP! No, he didn’t! Just leave him alone! And Pansy, I’m not in love with you. I’ve never been in love with you. Sorry to break it to you, sweetheart, but I’m just not.
// I hate you, Draco Malfoy.
// Draco, seriously, you’re passing up Pansy for Harry ‘the Scar-Headed Disaster’ Potter? You’ve gone mental!
// Piss off, the both of you! What kind of friends are you if you can’t see that he makes me happy?
// Draco, mate, don’t tell me you’re choosing HIM over us.
// Can you accept it?
// …No. I don’t understand you at all.
// I should kill Potter for brainwashing you and taking you away from me! Your father isn’t going to like this, Draco!
// FINE. If that’s the way you’re going to be, then I don’t need you. I don’t need either of you.

Or anyone

// Um, Harry, you realize you still have to face Voldemort, right?
// Yeah, Ron, it’s not like it exactly slips my mind. Why?
// Because you’re acting like you’ve got the whole world in your hands, Harry. What gives?
// I can’t tell you…
// Harry, we’re your best friends. You can tell us anything! Right, Ron?
// Okay…I think I’m in love.
// Way to go, mate! With Ginny?
// Ohhhhhhh, Harry, I’m so happy for you! Who is she?
// Oh boy. No, it’s not Ginny…and I don’t want to tell you because I know you’ll flip out and think I’ve lost it.
// We will not, Harry Potter. You’ve always been able to tell us anything, so spill it!
// Okay, Hermione, okay. But don’t say I didn’t warn you…
// Stop stalling, mate, and just spit it out.
// It’s Malfoy.
// Come again?
// It’s Draco. I’m in love with Draco. And he’s in love with me.
// You’re in love with Ferret-Boy? I don’t believe this! You’re daft!
// Harry, did he hit you with Imperius or slip you a potion?
// NO, Hermione! It…it just kind of happened. The other night…I saw him crying, and well…one thing led to another, and I can’t stop thinking about him.
// I oughta bash his head in!
// Ron, NO! Leave him alone! See, this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you! Hermione, talk to him.
// I don’t understand it myself, Harry. I-I kind of agree with Ron. I’m ready to kill Malfoy…or at least, punch him again.
// NO! Don’t you two DARE touch him!
// You’re taking HIS side over ours? Bloody hell, Harry, we’ve been friends since first-year! You two have always hated each other!
// It’s not first-year anymore, Ron. And no, we don’t hate each other…much…anymore.
// Harry, no, I won’t allow it.
// It’s not your decision, Hermione. You’re not my mother.
// No, but your mum would turn over in her grave if she knew…
// …Fuck you, Ron. You know what? Fuck you too, Hermione! I don’t need either of you, so FUCKING SOD OFF!



If I lay here

// Hey, Draco, can we go somewhere quiet?
// Sure, Harry. Let’s go up to my room. Get your Invisibility Cloak so you can get into Slytherin.

If I just lay here

// What’s wrong?
// I just had a horrible fight with Ron and Hermione. I need a hug.
// I’m sorry, babe. I’ll do better than that. Come here and cuddle with me.

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

// I just had a falling-out with Blaise and Pansy over you.
// They don’t like that you and I are…?
// Nope. I’m going to guess that neither did the Weasel and the Mud-um, Granger?
// No. Ron said the most awful thing about my mum, and I just kind of lost it.
// That little red-headed git! I’ll hex him into next week!
// No, no, that’s not what I want, Draco! Just…just lay here with me, please? I just want to lose myself in your arms for a while. I don’t want to be the ‘Boy Who Lived’ or the ‘Chosen One’ or the ‘Savior’…I just want to be me, Harry Potter, in the arms of the handsomest boy at Hogwarts.
// We can pretend, Harry, but we can’t turn our backs on the world forever. And…second-handsomest…you’re pretty smashing, yourself.
// I know…I’m not asking for forever…just for right now.

I don't quite know

// Draco, what do you see happening between us?
// I don’t know, Potter. Why?
// Because…

How to say

// I’m in love with you.
// Excuse me?
// I love you, Draco.

How I feel

// (thinking) Shit, shit, shit! What do I do? What do I say? How do I feel about him? I…I love him, too. Shite, he’s waiting for a response! Say something, Draco! Anything! Say it back!

Those three words

// Thank you, Potter.
// (thinking) Lame, Draco, lame. Why can’t you say it back?

Are said too much

// (thinking) He’s going to stop saying it if you don’t say it back one of these times. And then he’s going to leave. Is that what you want? Just fucking SAY IT BACK!

They're not enough

// (thinking) He loves me. I know he does. He screams it silently with every look, every touch, everything he does for me. He just can’t say it…am I okay with that? Why can’t he say it? Probably because he’s Slytherin…is that what I want for the rest of my life? I just want to hear him say it!

If I lay here

// Harry…can I ask you for something?
// Of course, Draco. Anything. You know that.
// I know…it’s just…hard…for me. Harder than for most, I think.

If I just lay here

// It’s okay, Draco. Ask me anything, and it’s yours.
// Would you…would you hold me? Just this once?

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

// Of course I’ll hold you, love! Any time you want! *whisper* And it makes me feel really good that you asked.
// *whisper* It’s so much easier to be myself when I’m in your arms, Harry.

Forget what we're told

// (thinking) Father is wrong. Love isn’t a weakness. It’s strength. Look at Harry. That word just rolls off his tongue left and right, and no one would dare to call HIM weak. Why can’t I be like that? Because that’s not how you were trained to be…

Before we get too old

// Draco, it’s getting closer. I can feel it. You-Know-Who is going to attack soon, and I’m going to have to go and fight him.

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

// I want to show you something, Harry. But we have to be quiet and use the Cloak so that Mother and Father don’t catch us out here.
// You want me to come with you to the Malfoy Gardens?
// Shhh, yes! I have something for you…
// Oh my…Oh, Draco, it’s beautiful!
// I know your mom’s name was Lily…and I found all of the different types of lilies. I think she’d like it, don’t you think?
// Yes. *crying* Thank you. I love you!
// Shhh, Harry, don’t cry, sweetheart!

Let's waste time

// Can you take a quick break from your training?
// Of course, love! I’m kind of sweaty, though.
// Mmmm, all the better. Come to the garden with me. Harry, oh shit, this isn’t going to be easy. Harry, my father is expecting me to side with him and You-Know-Who. I have to go soon, but…but I didn’t want to leave without giving you something to remember me by, just in case.

Chasing cars

// Harry, I want you to make love to me. I want to give you my virginity because you’re the only one who has ever really…um, loved me…and…and I want to show you how much you mean to me, too.

Around our heads

// Fuck. That was fucking amazing. You, Draco, YOU are fucking amazing. God, I love you so much!

I need your grace

// Harry, once this is all over, will you still…want to be with me?
// Always. I said I loved you, Draco, and I mean it. That won’t change. Ever.

To remind me

// Wars change people, Harry. We might…we might be different once it’s all over with. I-I’ve had so much trouble just trying to be open with you these last few months, and I feel like I’ve failed you—
// No, Draco! Not at all! I know you have issues with saying how you feel, but I want you to take your time and say it when you feel ready.
// Harry, I want you to understand. Once it starts, I can’t…I have to go back to being Malfoy again, and I won’t be able to pick this up again—pick ‘us’ up again—until it’s over…and that’s assuming we both live through it.
// Draco, look at me. We ARE going to live through it, and I’ll be waiting for you on the other side with open arms and ready to remind you.

To find my own

// (thinking) How the hell did he fall in love with ME? ME? He’s so bloody pure and noble…what the hell does he see in me that’s worth loving? God, I wish things had been different! I wish…I wish I hadn’t been such a brat to him…or I wish he would’ve taken my hand in first-year…but mostly, I wish I had figured out sooner just how full of shit Father is. No use lamenting the past, Draco. It just makes you weak; but once this is all over with, I’m through with the masks and the deception…I’m not going to go Gryffindor or anything, but I figured one thing out. All of my life, I thought I was being ‘elegant’ and ‘superior’ by putting down everyone else. Ironic, huh…he’s got more elegance than I ever hoped to have…but I swear to Merlin, I’m going to find some of that grace he has…

If I lay here

// Draco…Draco, I need you. Please…

If I just lay here

// Merlin, Harry, you’re going to shake yourself to pieces! What’s wrong, baby?

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

// Please hold me…we were ambushed today. Death Eaters. Your aunt and uncle were leading them…they got Neville. I-I saw him…I mean, I watched him…they almost got Remus too, but Tonks grabbed him and Apparated him to safety.

Forget what we're told

// Father, enough. I don’t want to be on your side, and I think you’re wrong. Everything you’ve ever taught me has brought me nothing but misery. Voldemort is fucking daft, and he’s not going to win.
// How DARE you turn your back on everything I’ve given you? On everything I’ve taught you to be!
// It’s not too late, Father. Redeem yourself; change sides.

Before we get too old

(Lucius backhands his son across the face)
// Don’t you DARE think that just because you’re ‘of age’ means that you can back-talk or disrespect me! I am still your father, and no matter how old you get, Draco, I can still beat the shit out of you like I did when you were younger. Don’t for one second think that you’re too old for me to punish you.

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

// Oh my god! Draco, what happened? Your back…Merlin, you’re bleeding all over the place! Hold still; let me clean you up.
// Harry, Harry, take me back to the garden. I want to go to ‘our’ place one more time.
// Draco, why are you talking like that? We’ll have plenty of time to spend at ‘our’ place. We need to get you to Madam Pomfrey. Draco, there’s so much blood…
// No, Harry, listen to me. My father is going to HIM now…they’re going to hunt me down and kill me for being a traitor to the Dark Lord. I just want to be here with you, one last time, please?
(in the garden)
// *crying* I won’t let them kill you, Draco. They’ll have to go through me first.
// Harry, you can’t protect me. You have to face him, and you have to kill him. Not for me, not for you, but for the world. You’re the Savior of the World, remember?
// Fuck that! I don’t want you to die, Draco!

All that I am

// No, Harry, that’s who you are. You have to fulfill your destiny. You’re the Boy Who Lived.
// No, I’m not. I’m just Harry Potter, and I’m the Boy Who is in Love with You…

// I am Draco Malfoy, the best Potions student and the ultimate Slytherin. I’m a blood traitor to the Malfoy family, and I am hunted by the Dark Lord. But most importantly, I am in love with Harry Potter, and I’m the one he loves.

// I am in love with Draco Malfoy.
// I am in love with Harry Potter.

All that I ever was

// Freak! Four-eyes! Get back to your cupboard, boy! You’re lucky I even allowed you to have that crust of bread!
// I-I’m sorry, Uncle Vernon…
(Vernon slaps twelve year old Harry across the face)
// Not half as sorry as you’re going to be if you show your ugly face again for the rest of the night!

// Draco, I would like you to meet the Monsieurs Macnair, Hyde-Pratt, and Rabastan LeStrange. You already know your aunt and uncle, Bellatrix and Rodolphus. What do you say, Draco?
// How do you do, gentlemen? I am Draco Malfoy, and it is a privilege to be allowed here.
// The boy is quite young to be at a Dark Revel, Lucius. But he has been trained well, it seems.
// I understand your concern, Rodolphus, but I can assure you; Draco will not let us down. He is a Malfoy.

// I was Harry Potter’s rival.
// I was Draco Malfoy’s worst enemy.

Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

// There, Draco, the bleeding has stopped, and you’re going to be fine.
// God, I could just lose myself in your amazing green eyes!
// I love your eyes too, Draco. Did you know they turn silver when you smile at me?

I don't know where

// Shit, Harry, they’ll be coming soon! You have to leave! You can’t let them catch you here; they’ll kill you! You have to go!
// No, I don’t want to leave you! Come with me!

Confused about how as well

// I can’t…my father…he’s with the Dark Lord, and the Dark Lord will kill him if I run.
// How can you still love him, after what he did to you? How can you choose him over me, Draco?
// I’m not, Harry…
// YES, YOU ARE! If you stay here and let them kill you, then you’re saying that a futile attempt to save your father—who willingly followed Voldemort, might I add, and who doesn’t even REALIZE the treasure he’s been given because he hurts you instead of protecting you like you deserve—is more important to you than I am!

// How in the hell can you still love me, even after knowing me and seeing my weaknesses?
// Draco, there’s so much about you worth loving. You’ve been brainwashed your whole life, and I fucking hate him for doing that to you. How can you choose him over me?
// I…I’m not, Harry.
// Prove it.
// How?

Just know that these things will never change for us at all

// Make love to me. Right here, right now. You gave me your virginity, and now I want to give you mine. I don’t know why I didn’t before, but I want you to know that I love you, now and forever, and no matter what happens, that won’t change. And if you love me, make love to me.
// I…I do, Harry. I love you. Merlin, I love you more than I can say, and I’ll never stop loving you!
**********


Author's note--all three alternate endings begin at this point, after Draco makes love to Harry frantically in the garden. I'll also include a final "explanation" chapter if you review to tell me that you're confused/don't get it/or just want more information :)