The Longest Letter

Dearest Harry,

This will probably be the longest letter of my life, and you know how many letters I have written. I don't even know where to
begin, except to say that I miss you so much. I find it hard somedays, to realize that you are actually gone. I roll over in
bed and expect you to be there, and find nothing but an empty, cold spot, where you should be laying. It's been four months,
ten days and three hours since you were taken from me. How pathetic of me, eh, to know the exact amount of time it has been. But I
can't help it. It's one of those things you wish you could forget, but can't.

The sight of you, lying on the cold ground, the light slowly leaving your beautiful emerald eyes, haunts my dreams. I know
you asked me to stay behind cause you didn't want me to see you die. I know now that you knew all along that you would die.
Why couldn't you tell me you were the final horocrux? Would it have pained you too much to see my face the moment I realized
all our dreams would not come true? I could have been strong for you. And I know in my heart of hearts that if I had known the
last I held would have been the last, I would have never let you go, no matter what it meant. If it meant living in a world
with Voldemort still alive then I would have chosen that over losing you. I know the Hermione you loved would have never been
so selfish, but I have changed now. Losing someone you love changes a person. I will never be that girl again.

I visit your grave every day. It's something I have to do. It's almost like I'm with you, where ever you may be. I like to
think that you are in a place where you can just be Harry, the Harry I loved, and never again the "boy-who-lived." A title that
will never hold the same meaning for me again. If only it had come true more than once. Some wizards have approached me to
write a book about my life, our adventures and all of that junk. I don't think they would like it very much if I were to write
it though. The book of my life would begin the moment you kissed me and it would end the moment you were taken from me. Not
much of a read I think. Not that our love isn't something that should be eternalized by a book, but I know when people look
at a book from me, they would expect something including trolls, being petrified by a basalisk, an Azkaban escapee and the
hunt of a life for horocrux's.

Oh how I lived while you loved me. But I died inside the moment you fell to the ground that night. I still remember the
moment you confessed you loved me. You were so nervous and I was so happy, it was hard not to jump up and down and scream.
And then you kissed me. The feeling I felt in that moment, is something I will never be able to explain. Something I will
never feel again. We had a great year, in love, despite the circumstances of the world at the time. We were on the hunt of
our life, fighting for each day we were given. BUt somehow at the end of everyday, making love to you and falling asleep in
your arms, made everything okay. I remember the last night we spent together. You were different, and at the time I couldn't
figure out why, but you were so focused on me and so determined to make sure I knew you loved me. We made love three times that
night. It was so intense. And now I know it was because you knew it was your last night with me. Oh Harry, why couldn't you just
tell me? I would have liked to know, so I could have made you feel the true depths of my love that night. But maybe I already
had and didn't know it.

The strength at which you held me before you walked up the hill towards him, I still feel it at night in bed sometimes. I knew
something was different when you held me. I tried to run to you but Ron held me back. The bastard knew, and I didn't, and you
made him promise to keep me back. I hate him for betraying me. I know I shouldn't, cause he kept his last promise to you, but
I do. I resent him for not letting me try and help you, I know I could have found away around you dieing. I know I could have.
If only you would have told me.

This is the last time I'm going to come visit you for awhile, that is why I am writing this letter. The doctor said it isn't
good for me to have this angst and sorrow and visiting you isn't helping it. I wanted to know for sure before I told you. I
wanted to be able to tell you everything before I told you. I'm pregnant Harry. It's a girl. That last night we were together,
our love created something eternal after all. Something that can never be taken from us. I'm going to name her Lily, after your
mum. I know you would have liked that. I wish I could have seen what kind of a father you would be to her. I know you would
have been the best father in the world. I love you Harry. And I promise Lily will know everything about her father and she will
never forget where she came from. You will live on in her.

I miss you so much. I love you still with all my heart. Yours forever.

Hermione