World's End

It all started when Draco started showing up to the parties Seamus would throw. Harry, who lived with the Irishman, couldn't do anything about it except tolerate it, and gradually, the Malfoy's presence became a usual one. He was friend with Blaise, who was friends with Seamus, which is why he came over to the house parties, and he stayed because Seamus was funny when drunk, and Harry made for good conversation.

The old hatred between them had been long forgotten, schoolboy drama, and they discovered that they had much in common. A love for Quidditch, and Dark Arts - defending against or learning to use, or anything between - were their most often discussed topics. They were also the only gay members of Seamus' circles, though neither knew about the other.

It started when Harry admitted to himself one day that Draco was more than passingly attractive. Even if he liked blokes, he'd never go for me, Harry told himself wistfully, and tried to forget his growing attraction. With Draco there every day, often in the spare bedroom because he was too drunk to go home, forgetting him was much easier said than done.

Though afterwards he never could remember how it came out, Harry discovered that yes indeed, Draco was gay, and might like him. Or Seamus; Harry wasn't sure who he was speaking about when he'd go into his drunken rambles of the person he was most attracted to.

Harry wasn't sure if Seamus would approve of him dating Malfoy, and he asked several times if it was alright, did he mind? Would it hurt their relationship?

No, Seamus answered every time, and Harry finally worked up enough courage to ask Draco to date him

Against all rational or logical thought, Draco accepted, and for a few months, Harry was in heaven. He fairly floated through his days, spending every possible moment with Draco that he could. Somewhere along the way, he fell in love.

He'd never been in love before - not truly, and he'd thought himself incapable of it. Being with Draco had opened up his eyes in more ways than one. Still, there was trouble brewing in paradise. They slept in the same bed, but the sexual side of their relationship was nonexistant. Harry contented himself with small touches - holding hands, hugging, brief kisses - but it never seemed enough. He found himself alone with only his hand for comfort more times than he could count, and it was becoming increasingly distressing for him. They fought occasionally, and Seamus finally revealed that he'd been in love with Harry the whole time, and couldn't deal with their relationship. He left Harry's things on the curb while he was out one day, and Harry moved in with Draco full-time, unable to deal with Seamus' abandonment. The breaking point in the blissful peace came when Draco asked if Harry wanted to go out to the store with him. Harry rose, and in a brief moment of letting his fun side out, decided to wear something unconventional. He was pinning it to his robes, when Draco saw it.

"You're not wearing that to the supermarket, are you?" He asked distastefully. Harry, thinking it was only a joke, nodded his head and continued to struggle with the pins.

"No you're not," Draco said finally. "If you wear that, you're not coming with me. I don't want to be seen by anyone I know."

Harry was crushed. Just a few short, terse words had destroyed him completely. If ever Harry had reached a lower point, he didn't know it then. He's ashamed to be seen with me. It ran through his head like a mantra. He knew that he was Draco's first homosexual relationship, and that the other man was nervous about allowing his parents to know - not that he cared, he said, he just wanted to avoid unwanted questioning. To his utmost horror, Harry broke down crying in the restroom of the supermarket, unable to deal with the fact that Draco didn't want to be seen with him. When he cried, his eyes turned red and puffy, and his nose got stuffy, and there was no way to hide what he'd actually been doing, and when Draco asked if he was alright, he told his first lie to the blond ever. "I was just yawning and rubbing my eyes," he said. Draco accepted it, which made Harry feel even worse.

The small touches they'd shared once became few and far between, and Harry became increasingly agitated about it. He craved attention like he needed oxygen, and Draco gave it sparingly if ever. He was afraid to bring it to his boyfriends notice, however, because he didn't want to fight - their fights had an annoying habit of turning him into the villain, no matter what the issue, and he wasn't up to dealing with it. It got to the point that he was so miserable that he just wanted to go away and leave forever, and the affection returned somewhat. Now their kisses seemed timed. Harry counted the seconds, kissing back as passionately as he could in the three brief moments Draco allowed contact. He stiffened up when Harry hugged him, and refused to hug back, as though it were a chore to allow his boyfriend to touch him. Harry, who'd always had trouble saying "I love you" to anyone, found it nearly impossible to say out loud any more. He still felt love for Draco with everything in his heart, but to say it was harder than anything he'd ever had to make himself do. And Draco never said it to him. As far as Harry was concerned, Draco treated him as though they'd never been dating at all.

The answer came to him late one night in a brief flash of brilliance. Marriage. They were already practically married, as Draco said sometimes, so why not make it official? He spent long hours agonizing over how to 'pop the question' and which ring to buy, and how to say the words, and what he would do if Draco said no. He contemplated whole afternoons away wondering whether they would become Harry and Draco Malfoy-Potter, or if he should just take Malfoy's name. It never occurred to him that they would take his name, because he loved Draco, and would never ask that of him. Or would it be Potter-Malfoy? He just didn't know. He thought about everything - dates for the wedding, who would be there, how he might convince Draco to sign the certificate.

Finally, the right moment occurred to him just after christmas; they were scheduled to go to a concert, and it was the perfect time, he thought. All throughout the concert, Harry wondered if he should do it then, how he should ask, if he should get down on one knee or just sweep Draco up into a kiss and ask him then.

During a particularly moving song, they were on their feet, and Harry reached into his pocket, opened the ring box and all but shoved it at Draco in his nervousness. "I've been meaning to ask this for a long time," he said, trembling and stumbling over his words. "Will you marry me?"

Draco looked at him, and then at the ring, and nodded, kissing him briefly. It seemed more of an obligatory kiss than one Draco wanted to give to him, but Harry reveled in it. After they sat down, the jitters set in, and he nearly shook himself off his seat, his adrenaline was so high. HE SAID YES! He wanted to shout, but was aware that they were packed into a crowded hall, and Draco might know someone. It wasn't enough to dampen his mood, however, and his spirits went soaring again when he realized Draco had actually put the ring on, was wearing it.

Instead of becoming closer, as Harry had hoped after their engagement, the two of them seemed to drift even further apart. The little touches stopped entirely, and Harry was now too afraid to even initiate small contact like a hand on Draco's shoulder; whenever he mustered up the courage to face Draco's possible wrath, he was ignored or brushed off.

His self-esteem took a sever turn for the worse. They stopped going out, instead sitting at home doing nothing but being in the same room with one another. They rarely even spoke much any more, as Harry was ignored or spoken over when he tried, and the effort to talk about what was bothering him was more insanely difficult than simply bearing it in silence, and so he suffered.

It finally reached the point where Harry wasn't even sure if Draco loved him anymore; if Draco had ever loved him to begin with. He felt like Draco tolerated him simply because he couldn't get rid of him, and underneath the gruff exterior lay a pleasant, polite, nice young man who actually cared about the feelings of the people around him. He toyed with the idea of asking Draco if he would rather be broken up, but decided against it, fearing that Draco would take it as he wanted to break up. Which was the very furthest thing from his mind, if he thought about it. He wanted to stay together forever, and be happy, but somehow, happy just wasn't around any more. He felt unwanted and unloved, but too afraid to do anything about it, because he still loved Draco very much, and didn't want to even consider doing something that would hurt him.

He even began thinking that Draco regretted agreeing to marry him. What does one say when your boyfriend or girlfriend shoves a ring at you? No? Of course not. He'd said yes because he was obligated to say yes, just as he was now obligated to stay with someone who didn't make him happy any more. Or at least that was how Harry saw it. Obligated. He hated being Draco's dirty little secret - they were only friends in the eyes of everyone except Blaise and Hermione, who were the only two that Draco felt relaxed enough around to even mention his relationship to Harry.

It was very wearying, and Harry often toyed with the idea of leaving, and saving Draco the trouble of eventually having to break up with him. When Pansy and Ron, in a long distance relationship due to Ron's being overseas for work, threatened to break up, Harry and Draco did everything they could to salvage the relationship. The problem was not that they didn't love one another - it was that they loved too much. Ron had a semi-girlfriend where he was, and Pansy had been tempted by Justin and Hannah, who took her into their fold and kept her company while she waited for Ron to return. Draco often said that it was difficult to break up with someone you lived with, and if the two of them would wait until they could live together to decide it wasn't working out, then everyone involved would be better off.

Harry took his words as hints, and abandoned his ideas of 'freeing Draco' from his seemingly unwanted relationship. Day by day, he gathered up the courage to ask Draco if the relationship was truly what he wanted.

One night before one of their rare dates - one that finally didn't include Hermione and/or Blaise - Harry looked up to the sky, and saw a shooting star.

Clasping his hands, he closed his eyes.

"I wish that Draco- "Draco would love me...

"I wish that Draco could be happy," he said softly, and sighed, taking himself inside where it was warm.

---

True story. Everything happened/is happening, from last year up until tonight, with myself and my girlfriend Rei. I'm represented by Harry (since I'm Gryffindor at heart) and she by Draco, and our friends by Pansy, Ron, Hermione, Blaise, and Seamus. This doesn't need feedback... I just needed to get it out of me.