Dear Mr. Potter

Well, I have been a fan of Harry Potter fanfiction for a long time now and read a fair share of fanfics that exist out there, Mpregs included. Some of them are really good but if you happen to read one too many, the result is as follows. Do leave a review what you think abut my short story, ok?

DEAR MR. POTTER


“Dear Mr. Potter”

Harry flicked his eyes on the piece of parchment covered with green ink. Aha, another letter from McGonagal, others just sent him howlers. He had been receiving so many howlers ever since … that episode. Oh, Merlin, how he would like to turn back the time and undo what had happened then, during the last battle. But he didn’t know then, he didn’t know until it was too late, until the first one was brought to the world.

“I have received a message that yet another …”

He remembered it so well, Voldemort’s voice, booming with sinister laughter as he was vanishing into the thin air. Harry would never remember the exact words; he was to weary after the long struggle that drained all his strength. In the end it was the Godric Griffindor’s sword that rid the world of that menace. But Voldemort still had enough power to cast that spell …

“ … child has to be taken care of by the Wizarding World …”

… and soon after that Harry found himself dreaming. He thought he was slowly going insane; in his dreams he … slept with men. These were such perverted dreams, he hated them, hated the fact that they seemed nice, hated the fact that he woke up in soiled underwear, all sweaty and definitely wanting to continue. At first the dreams were all about unknown people, some strange faces but when he dreamt about Ron …

“ … due to your lack of funds to raise him in decent conditions.”

… all hell broke loose! The next day he found himself nauseous and puking his guts out. He thought that he must have eaten something bad but the next day was even worse! And his stomach was actually swollen a bit. This continued for a couple of days until he couldn’t go on any more and went to see the medi-wizard. Who promptly congratulated him on becoming a mother and very soon.

“Potter, this has to stop!”

A mother? Harry couldn’t understand at first. How the hell could he become a mother?! He was a male, males don’t give birth to babies! Right?! Wrong. Apparently in the Wizarding World even such things could happen. But the medi-wizard told him it couldn’t have happened naturally, there must have been a spell involved, a curse to be more precise. Because the baby inside Harry was growing enormously fast and the pregnancy wouldn’t take longer than a month.

‘Merlin’s beard! I will be a mother! In less than a month!’ that was the only though that was going in Harry’s head when he left the Mungo’s and went to visit his best friends, now engaged and living together in Hogsmeade, to share this life-changing news with them. And, of course, it was Hermione who asked the crucial question. Who was the father?

“First of all, it’s draining your strength and may leave you crippled …”

That was a good question. Sadly enough, Harry couldn’t answer it, he was a virgin, he had never slept with any girl and the only time he … He couldn’t finish this thought! He couldn’t, because if he was right, this would mean … this would mean … Bloody hell!

“ … as every child you bring to this world takes part of your magic.”

Harry didn’t answer that question and left his friends’ house in a rather hurried manner which made Hermione curious and suspicious. She was a bright young witch and probably saw something in his face because the next time she visited him, she performed a small but very useful spell which was supposed to reveal the father’s identity. To her shock, and Harry’s horror, it was Ron’s red head that appeared over Harry. Hermione fainted. When she regained consciousness, it was a totally different Hermione, spiteful and wanting revenge. She left Harry in peace only because he was nearing the time of delivering the baby but he had to wait a looong time before she spoke to him again. It was Ron who took the whole brunt of her wrath. But that’s another story entirely.

“Secondly, even if the Wizarding World owes you a big favor, nobody is going to spend a fortune on YOUR children!”

The child was born within the month since that fateful dream, a small, cute red head boy with the brightest green eyes. Harry couldn’t help but love the tiny creature despite the strange way the child was conceived and despite his unusual size. The Wizarding World welcomed the baby with equal enthusiasm though it also buzzed with rumors as to the unknown identity of the baby’s father. The child grew quickly, though, as he had appetite that would rival that of a young dragon. Two weeks after the painful delivery (after all Harry was male, and getting the child out of a magically created womb through a non-existent opening in his body … um, yeah), to his horror, Harry had another dream. This time it was George Weasley …

“One would think that with so many contraceptives around you should avoid getting pregnant again, Mr. Potter.”

And he gave birth to twins. Within the span of three months he had three small babies to take care of! He had to hire some help, two nannies were around all the time, feeding the demanding babies. Strangely, the babies ate a LOT, as if trying to compensate for the quick growth within their mother’s womb which left them so small. Harry found himself spending quite a lot of money on baby food.

And then, after only three weeks, he had yet another dream, featuring none other than his hated Potions teacher, Severus Snape. Waking up from that … nightmare, left Harry in hysterics. Merlin, the dream was so sick! And if he was going to have Snape’s baby … No, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t … right? Ahaha, wrong again! A month later he had another baby, a girl this time, with the recognizable Snape’s nose …

By this time the Wizarding World almost went into frenzy, wondering who could the father of the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Become-A-Mother’s babies be. The Prophet was selling like hot buns, filled with speculations as to the identity of Harry Potter’s secret lover. Harry dreaded the moment someone would discover his little shameful secret. That he was having babies with his dream lovers! If anyone had the same idea as Hermione … and performed the spell over his babies … Ugh, that would be a disaster!

The babies … ate a lot. All four of them had a dragon’s appetite and Harry soon found himself taking more and more money out of his Gringott’s vault. At the end of one month he actually counted all his food expenditures and found out that he spent more than five hundred galleons! And that was food only, not counting the clothes and the salaries of three nannies (Harry had to employ one more person)!

“But as all the contraceptives known to the Wizarding World seem to fail in your case …”

After yet another dream – and triplets one month later (a cute blonde girl, and two dark haired boys, all courtesy of Draco Damn Malfoy) Harry began to feel desperate, and started to search the ways to avoid the unwanted pregnancies. He researched contraceptives, both Muggle and magical, becoming quite proficient in using them.

Well, Muggle ones were useless, the contraceptive pill was designed for women to stop … their period and he had no period to start with! A condom, the ladies’ type for obvious reasons didn’t work, either. Well, he knew where to … insert it but … it didn’t appear in the dream and … um, yes, he ended up with another child, Neville’s this time. So he frantically started checking all the books available, in search of a good contraceptive spell.

He found one that seemed perfect, for pairs who wanted a long-term protection; it was supposed to work for one year! Harry sighed with relief when he applied the spell to himself and for the first time in months went to sleep calm. He dreamt about the poor half crazy Lockheart … The fruit of that particular nightmare was a small girl with blond locks.

Harry started to avoid falling asleep. If it was sleep that caused him to get pregnant, he would just try not to sleep and the problem would be solved, right? Wrong yet again! Because after six deliveries and having nine babies to take care of, he was dead tired all the time. He knew there were potions that could help him stay awake, but he was too tired to brew them himself and too afraid to go and buy the amount that would suffice. What if someone discovered his little secret?

“ … we have prepared a spell that will change the nature of your dreams.”

Looking back Harry thought this decision was pretty stupid. Maybe if he took that potion … but he would only have four children less. Remus’s. Well, as they say, werewolves are fertile …

By the end of the first year since the Ron dream Harry had fourteen babies in his house, the youngest being the daughter of Stan Shunpike, the guy who drove Knightbus once. Seriously, why Harry even dreamt of that guy, was beyond his imagination. And the babies were HUNGRY! The food expenditures grew to almost two thousand galleons a month! Plus, Harry needed a bigger, MUCH bigger house for this number of children! He couldn’t go to work, being tired and busy all the time.

The second year found him with thirty children and the empty vault. He had to ask for help. After all, the Wizarding World owed him a big favor, they could help their hero for once, right?

“Hopefully, you will stop dreaming about your night lovers …”

Right! And help they did, for another year during which Harry had another eleven children. Poor Boy-Who-Lived-To-Fill-The-World-With-His-Offspring didn’t even remember who the fathers to his babies were or what the names of his babies were anymore. And he was seriously becoming physically ill, his magic drained with every delivery. But when he gave birth to his fiftieth child (Snape’s sixth, or was it seventh?) even the Wizarding World said enough is enough! Potter’s children were costing MONEY! And so Harry was closed off in a remote place, with no human contact whatsoever. What a surprise it was for the wizard who checked on him once a month to see him pregnant again! And this was the moment when Harry’s little secret finally was revealed.

As a direct result of this discovery Harry began to receive hate mail on a daily basis. Howlers from men and women! All accusing him of selfishly using the state’s money to raise his numerous hungry offspring! Harry was allowed to walk freely again, no longer kept in isolation but he chose to remain hidden, afraid he would be lynched.

Another result of the discovery was setting up a team of the best wizards to find a cure to Harry’s condition. They discovered that it was all Dark Lord’s doing and decided to investigate the spell and find the anti-spell to it …

“ … and consequently stop getting pregnant.”

And today was the day when the anti-spell has been applied to him. Harry really hoped it would work, he had enough of morning sickness, of wet diapers, of babies’ wailing, of being fat and unable to see his feet, of having to pee every hour, of having the strangest cravings and of everything connected with pregnancy and babies! Merlin, let that spell work!

“You are to have this spell applied immediately.”

Harry was lying in his bed, his eyes closed, his breathing frantic with … was it panic? Or pleasure? No one who watched him at this moment, would tell the difference but when he finally woke up, his eyes were half mad. He moaned and hid his face in his hands.

‘Merlin, please! Let this dream be only a dream! I don’t want … not with HER!’

The spell apparently didn’t work. Even more, it worsened Harry’s condition because the baby was born within two weeks' time since the dream. A baby with a caustic expression on her little scrunched face. A natural animagus.

“Sincerely,

M. McGonagal.”

The End

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