Hogwarts in heat

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, all of Hogwarts would be gay. So if it ever happens, know my evil rule has come down.

Warning: Not HBP compliant. As made obvious by the first line. The dead will live! Just kidding, I blame all the caffeine.

The story however will mainly be told from Harry’s POV, unless I go all Steven King and go third person omnipotent. I probably will.


Dumbledore had a smile on his face, this in Harry’s opinion, could only mean trouble. The twinkle in his eye only succeeded in making the fear clawing in his stomach rip further into him. Harry glanced around the Great Hall, no one else seemed to be noticing the Headmaster. Maybe it was due to the unhealthy large amount of time spent with the elderly man, but Harry knew that something was amiss. Snape was even hiding a smile, hell on Earth was upon him.


So this would be his reward for killing the dark Lord? Snape being happy? Harry thought that he should really question the Gods on this reward system. It had obviously seemed to find joy in screwing him over. The Dark Lord wasn’t too much, the final battle had been more anti-climactic then sex with Ginny.

(a/n until i figure out coding i will just tell you who is thinking what)Harry's thoughts:
Ahhhhh. Sex with Ginny. Bad thought, I don’t think my dick will ever recover. Maybe it was just a bad time for her. Nope, still gay. Oh well. No one has to know. That’s why they have America, sin central. Any kind of boy you want, available for any type of fun imaginable. Goth boys. mmmmmm…eye liner, spiked hair with multi-colored highlights, metal sticking out in all the right places, the perfect counter to my light. Or maybe a surfer, I could teach him a few things about the dark. Bloody hell, I’m hard. Well, at least Ginny damage wasn’t permanent; and there goes my sex drive. I bring it on myself. What’s going ? Why is Mione looking at Ginny like that?

“Thank you all for enjoying the feast as a school. I have some bad news, spring break has been canceled. (a/n don‘t know if British schools have this, but its my story and I need a long time with out classes. So adjust for me). You will however, have no classes for a week. (At this a loud cheer rang through the Hall. Dumbledore calmly waited for the students to quiet before continuing.) As part of the house unity campaign you all have this next week to get to know each other better. You will be free of all school work, there will be no trips from the castle, however. Thank you for your attention. You are free to return to your common rooms, or if you are in the “mood” , another’s common room.”
Harry didn’t like the sound of this. The look wasn’t too much better. Dumbledore with a plan always worried him. Since the war ended, the old man had to find something to fill his usual slot of meddling. He had decided upon house unity, stating there was no reason for hate, there were no more sides. Harry disagreed with that. There were still sides; it was after all high school, magic or not. Between thoughts of Ginny, shudder, and the Headmaster’s cryptic speech, Harry lost his appetite.

Harry's thoughts:
Oh well, I can get some food from the house elves later. There really aren’t house elves though. I should refer to them as kitchen elves. That doesn’t hold the same ring, alas grammar out weighs nifty titles. Nifty? Where did I pick that up. Why the hell am I against a wall?”

“HARRY!” His name was screeched by Mione, the shaking helped too, bringing him back to reality.
“Mione, why did you push me up against a wall?”
“To get your attention.”
“A tap wouldn’t do?”
“No, this is urgent.”
“Do you wish to discuss this urgent need, here, in the middle of the hallway?”
“I suppose you are right Harry, meet me out by the lake in a hour? Please, its really important. Plus, you owe me. I do a lot of-”
“Mione! The answer is yes, you don’t need to bully me into it. Nor do you need to guilt me to do so.”

Harry's thoughts:
I wonder what she could possibly want to talk with me about. Gods, this can’t be good. I hope she doesn’t like me, great now I can vomit my empty stomach.

“Thanks for meeting me Harry. Okay, to the point. I have developed feelings for someone, only recently did I realize this. Tonight actually, and I feel as though it’s your right to know. I think this person feels the same but I need to talk to you first. You see I like-”
“Mione, I love you, you know that. But I’m gay.”
“Ginny.”
“OH umm, Ginny right.Harry's thoughts: Awkward horribly awkward. Wait did she just admit to being a les? I knew it. And by “knowing it” I had no idea. She is staring at me… Maybe I should listen. That’s great Mione. I don’t know how she feels but I give you my full support.”
“Oh Harry, I just knew you were. I wanted to ask for so long. But you know Ronald, he refused to think of it. But by the way he was looking at Theo, young Ron may have joined our ranks.”
“I DO NOT claim Ron. He is not on my team. You however, I can claim.”

A/N I know, no sex yet, But it will be in the next chapter. I just don’t want to write it if no one will read it. I am no a review whore. If I get one person who wants it, the next chapter in all its smutty glory will be up ASAP. There won’t be too much fem slash. I just couldn’t bare a HG/RW occurring in my story.