How Long

How Long


“What do you mean you just want to be friends?” He stared at her, the hurt evident in his voice. He looked down refusing to let her see the tears that threatened to flow.

“Please don’t act like that.” he heard her say. “Look I have to get to class, I’ll see you later. Okay?“ His chest tightened, and vision blurred as he watched her walk away. Blinking a tear fell.

What had happened? She knew him, like no other. She was one of his best friends. She knew how life had been for him. She promised that she’d be there for him. That she wouldn’t do what countless others had. Leaving him behind was his worst fear. That someday, he wouldn’t be just the guy that was your best friend that wasn’t really good at anything except for a good laugh--for being an idiot. But that he was that he was going to be the guy who was just an idiot, and you didn’t really know what he was good for--a follower slash stalker. Merlin forbid he was the next Colin Creevy.

Everyone knew he was a big talker, but when it came down to the punch line he was a wuss, he had had that one time back in first year, well it was chess, but whatever he was that best friend who came through just once.

But now, now he had nothing. Harry would pat him on the shoulder--tell him everything would be fine. Then find a reason to hang out with her. Who could blame him? She was brilliant, beautiful, and was definitely going places.

Resigned he slowly made his way to his dormitory, closed the curtains of his four poster, and sobbed silently. Thinking about his pitiful life.


Why'd you go and break what's already broken
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking
How long till this goes away


The next day he made his way to the Great Hall. Dread causing him to drag his feet. He slowly pushed the door, there she was laughing with Harry. She looked the same as always. Gorgeous, her eyes sparkled with life. She had learned a long time ago to take it by the horns, and made everyday an example to show how life was not to, under no uncertain circumstances be wasted. Last year Dumbledore was killed by Snape, but only because Draco failed to complete the task givin him by “he who must not be named“. He shuddered just thinking about trying to say the name-- still not able to do it, even in his head. Draco was cleared of all charges, claiming he was forced fearing for his life. Insufferable Asshole. He knew Draco was lying. Death Eaters were good for nothing. But Earlier in the year she had shown us how she saw good in everything, and befriended him. He had bit his tongue, and gave in to her resolve. She was so convincing when she looked into his eyes.

He walked up to them now, noticing how they became quiet as drew near. “Hi Ron” her eyes pleading
“Hello” he replied in what he thought was enough, but knew it wasn’t when her eyes averted to Harry. He saw her eyeing him to join in the conversation. Awkwardly Harry chimed in. “Hey you.” he heard her then sighing she was exasperated, the way she gets when she’s frustrated. It usually was cute, one of the things he found endering, but not today. Today she was pain.
“I have to go” he said getting up he walked away.
“Ron! Wait!” He could hear her behind him. Ignoring his instinct to stay, silently hoping she would want him back, he ran.

I try to remember to forget you
But I break down every time I do
It's left me less than zero

It’s been weeks now, and he can’t stand to be around her. Not that he doesn’t want to, but he can’t not now that she’s always with him. Lately she’s been hanging out with her new friend.

Malfoy.

What was it that she saw in him. For years he was nothing but evil slimy git. Determined to undermine her very existence. Now he was her favorite bosom buddy. They did everything together.


He couldn’t even bring himself to hang out with Harry. She was always being brought up in conversation, and to save his friend the awkward glances and quick apologizes, he simply didn’t bother to find the time to spend with his best friend. Now he really didn’t have anyone. People stared at him as he walked past in the halls, his sullen appearance and quick temper made people not talk to him. Adding to his misery. His grades started to dwindle as he lost interest in his studies. Even Quidditch held no appeal. So now he stalked the halls. Tension thick where ever he went.

Today was no exception. He had already scared the wits out of some first years for running in to him. They had stared at him, apologizes following every other word. He had only stared. Running from his presence he could hear their feet as they quickly departed.

Rounding a corner he saw her. She was laughing, and for a moment he was happy. Memories flooded his mind at the countless times he had been the one to cause her joy. And then he saw her grab a hand. His breath hitched.

Malfoy.

She was laughing with him. Jealousy was something he was very familiar with. It was a common staple in his everyday life. But he never once thought to be jealous of him. Not until today. He hid behind the corner not wanting to be seen. He peeked around the corner when he heard her laughter stop.

His eyes went wide at what he saw. There at the end of the hall was Hermione standing on her tiptoes arms wrapped around his neck. Kissing him.

Anger took over. He felt his feet move. “Get your damned hands off of her!” he heard his self say. He saw the surprise as the couple saw who was coming.

“Ron?” he could hear her. But without acknowledgment to her, his fist met it’s target.

“RON! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?” She was yelling at him now. He hated making her angry. He saw her kneeling down to him. He saw him push her aside.

“I never knew you had it in you Weasel. To bad your never going to again.” Always with the calm words, even when he seeped of anger. He could see him coming fist bearing down. He braced himself. The force caused him to step back. He could feel the power of his opponent as they exchanged blows. He heard her screaming for them to stop. He hated seeing her cry. He saw her trying to get in the middle, just as his fist was moving forward. He tried to stop himself. His adrenaline was in full force. Anguish crossed his features as he felt the softness of her skin and the end of his blow.

He was breathing heavily. Stunned he could only watch as Malfoy quickly took her into his arms.

“I ..I..I’m sorry.” he heard his self say…”Hermione please..I’m so sorry!” He could feel the tears flowing down his cheeks he didn’t care. He had just hurt her. “ Are you alright? Hermione please say something” he reached out to touch her. Hurt struck him as she recoiled.

“Don’t touch me.” he heard her say. Getting up he fled. Trying to stifle his cries as the torment ground his senses about what had just happened.

Beat down and bruised
I can't see you with him
Why'd you go and break what's already broken
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him
How long till this goes away
I can't seem to get my heart over you
Cause you creep into everything I do
And now I'm dying to know
How he touches you
I can't see him with you


Again weeks passed by, he barely noticed. Stalking the halls again. This time is was his job. Prefects. He wished he could resign, but decided not to because it meant he could walk the halls in peace. No one there to give him dirty looks. Thankful that the year was almost over, graduation around the corner. He could escape this self made prison, and maybe come alive again. This was his silent mantra. His secret prayer that helped him get through the day. He and Harry had grown apart. He had spent his days sitting at the end of the table during meals taunted by their laughs. She had come to him pleading to be friends again. Saying she missed him. That she wanted to spend time together again like old times. And of course he had givin in promising to make time soon. Soon happened to be tomorrow. He secretly hoped that things could work out, and they could rekindle their friendship. Willing to do anything to be granted a moment in her presence.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a moan. Standing still he waited. The halls were dark. He heard it again. Creeping down the hall he came to a classroom. The door ajar.

Moonlight cascaded through the room alighting all within. Anguish, jealousy, hurt, anger. All these things rushed his mind he sagged against the wall.

There in the moonlight he saw her. Her eyes were closed in pleasure. He saw her biting her lip. He remembered when she did that for him. And now that she was doing it for another. He sighed, jealousy again. He sat on the floor listening to her cries. He heard her screaming the name of her lover.

“Draco, mmmmmm oh, ugh, ugh, harder! Harder!” Her squeals became muted like someone struggling to control themselves. But he knew what was coming. He knew that she was about to reach her peak. And as the orgasm hit, her cries spilled out into the halls . He heard Malfoy grown and laugh saying that they were gonna get caught. Little did he know.

He got up a left in a hurry before he could be discovered.

Why'd you go and break what's already broken
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him
How long till this goes away
How long till this goes away

The next day he made it a point to avoid her. He couldn’t disillusion himself into thinking they could be friends again. After last night there was no way. He had sat up all night giving himself reasons it would never work. All rested on the fact that he loved her, but he couldn’t stand to see her with him. Draco may have reformed in the eyes of others, but he was still evil to him.

Rain poured out of the grey skies like natures locks on the great outdoors. Holding him captive in a place he desperately wished to away from. He couldn’t stand it any longer. He grabbed a loner broom, and headed outside. As he reached the great doors. He heard her.

“Ron. Wait up.”

He willed himself to keep going, a few more steps and he would be free. If only for a little while.

“Hey! Ron please wait!” He hated to hear her pleading. His hand on the knob, he stopped.

“Where have you been? We were supposed to meet ages ago.”

“ I got tied up. Sorry. “Stammering trying hard not to look at her.

“It’s okay, we can do something now, right?”

He hated to see her look so sad.

“ I can’t, not right now.” Beginning to turn.

“Ron, I Know you’ve been avoiding me. But please don’t. Lets be friends again. I’ve missed you.”

Sadness over came him, but quickly replaced by anger. How could she say she missed him when not more than 24 hours ago she was shagging his greatest enemy!

“ YOU DIDN’T LOOK SO SORRY LAST NIGHT HERMIONE!” Fear struck as he realized what had slipped. He saw her eyes as realization kicked in.

“OH GROW UP! CAN’T YOU BE HAPPY FOR ME! GET OVER YOURSELF!” She was crying now…he hated himself. He didn’t like to see her cry. “ Ron we were friends once. Please try, for me.”

“I can’t” And he stepped into the torrents.


She said she wants to be friends
I took a big step back
She said
She said
She said she's sorry
With one finger
I said fuck that


Graduation came and went. He graduated next to last in class. Last was some girl he didn’t really know, couldn’t even recall her name. the only reason she was last, is due to an untimely bucket of bobotuber puss landing on her head as she passed a rickety old shelf in herbology. Her boils and pustules prevented her from speaking properly or holding anything with much grip. Second to last, because of bobotuber puss, he was pitiful.

The train ride had been uneventful, This time he was by himself. He had passed their cabin on the way to the bathroom. Harry and Draco were talking like best friends--the way he used to be Harry’s best friend. No one had noticed him. But he was used to it.

But when he returned to his cabin, it was occupied. There was the one person he could not face.

There she was, looking at him for all the world like she was begging. Begging with her eyes.

“Hi Ron.”

He nodded

“Hi.” It was short, but he couldn’t bring himself to say more. He could see her deflate. What was he supposed to do smile and act like a her chum again.

“What happened to us? “

“I don’t know? You broke up with me and it all kinda went down hill from there.”

“I’m sorry.” he saw her look down “ I was just all tied up in my studies and I felt that you and Harry needed to have your space for guys stuff” he knew she was lying -- her lips always quivered when she fibbed. Oh no not the tears…” I’m sorry Ron, Please lets be friends?” he watched as she stood up and walked to the door of the cabin….she opened it and stepped into the hall.

“ Promise me you’ll write and we can visit each other.” Hope danced in her eyes…he could feel himself giving in…

“Hey there you are.” he watched as he came up to her and drape his arm around her shoulder. He saw as she looked up and quickly kissed his lips.



I can tell you're lying when your lips move
Cause of one lie it's not me it's you
It's left me less than zero
Beat down and bruised
I can't see him with you
Why'd you go and break what's already broken
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him
How long till this goes away
Why'd you go and break what's already broken
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him
How long till this goes away
How long till this goes away

She said she wants to be friends
I took a big step back
She said
She said
She said she's sorry


He took a last good look at her. Seared her image in his mind. He reached for the handle of the door. And as he closed it he said,

“ I can’t”

With one finger
With one finger
I said fuck that


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A/N

Thanks for the reviews! I hope i can please you guys with further stories in the future!