Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire: The Musical

A/N: This story is in response to the Buffy musical episode, Once More with Feeling! Please review and tell me if it totally blows :D If not I'll do another!

They had been back at Hogwarts for two weeks. Two whole weeks and nothing had happened. It made Harry nervous. And bored. For once in his life Harry Potter found himself wishing something anything would happen. Even the famed Weasley Twins were as dull as dirt these days.

Unfortunately Harry was about to give his wish.

So, two weeks into Harry’s fourth year, and the morning broke like any other. With the shrill cry of the spelled alarm clock Seamus’s mum had sent him. The boys woke as they always did. With Ron falling out of bed with an almighty thud. It wasn’t until they all arrived in the Great Hall for breakfast that it was confirmed that something was amiss.
Harry arrived just in time to see Blaise Zabini leaning over Draco Malfoy’s shoulder. Harry’s eyes narrowed at the sight of his bitter rival.

“Whatcha doin’ Draco?” Blaise asked. Draco’s eyes narrowed.
“Well, not that it’s any of your business, but I’m writing home to my mum and dad.”
Blaise smirked in response. “Well, go on then, tell us what it says.” He goaded.
Draco’s eyes flickered up then and caught Harry’s. As unfamiliar feeling bloomed within the fourteen year-old.

“Dearest darlingest Mumsie and Popsicle...” The high-pitched, girlish sound of Draco’s voice trailed off as he clapped a hand over his mouth.
Harry felt compelled to reply.
“My dear...Sirius.” He said evenly.
By now the closest students to the Slytherin and Gryffindor tables were staring. Some in amazement, most in horror, but little did any of them know it was about to get much, much worse.

Harry and Draco began to sing.

“There’s been some confusion over rooming here at Hogwarts.”
“But of course I’ll care for ‘Mione.”
“But of course I’ll riiiise above it!”
They sang in tandem from their respective tables. “For I know that’s how you’d want me to respond. Yes. There’s been some confusion for you see my roommate is...”
“...Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and all together quite impossible to describe.”

“BLONDE!” Harry shouted, pointing dramatically at Draco as the Hall erupted into cheers.
Music swelled impossibly and the two stalked towards each other. The rest of those gathered fell silent.
“What is this feeling so sudden and new?”
“I felt the moment I laid eyes on you!”
They were circling each other now.
“My pulse is rushing...” Draco sang desperately.
“My head is reeling...” Harry sang, horrified at the direction this was going.
“My face is flushing...”
And, indeed, Draco’s face was flushed. Now Harry could feel the panic rising up like a tidal wave with in him. Was he about to KISS Draco Malfoy?!
“What is this feeling?” They sang together. “Fervid as a flame. Does it have a name? Yes! LOATHING! Unadulterated loathing!”
“For your face!” Draco spat.
“Your voice!” Harry returned.
“Your clothing!” Draco got the final insult in and he flung it with great relish. The panic that he was about to kiss bloody effing Potter was slowly receding.
“Lets just say...” They sang in tandem again. “...I loath it all! Every little trait however small, makes my very flesh begin to crawl, with simple utter loathing. There’s a strange exhilaration, in such total detestation. It’s so pure, so strong! Though I do admit it came on fast, still I do believe that it can last. And I will be loathing...loathing you my whole life long!”
Quite suddenly, and nearly as mysteriously as the original singing, the whole of the Slytherin table leapt to its feet.
Dearest Draco you are just too good! How do you stand him? I don’t think we could. He’s a terror, he’s a tartar! We don’t mean to show a bias, but darling Draco you’re a martyr!”
“Well...” Draco folded his hands in a mock pious gesture. “These things are sent to try us.”
Harry was just about to yell something scathing and rather insulting at Draco when they were all surprised once again.

Every Gryffindor in the room leapt to their feet.

“Oh, poor Harry, forced to reside with someone so disgusting defined! We just want to tell you, we’re all on your side! We share your...”
They turned to look at each other in confusion, but quickly shrugged. Harry and Draco started up again and the rival houses took up the counterpoint.
“Loathing!”
“What is this feeling, so sudden and new?”
“Unadulterated loathing!”
“I felt the moment...”
“For his face, his voice...”
“...I laid eyes on you!”
“...his clothing!”
“My pulse is rushing, my head is reeling...”
“Lets just say...we loath it all!”
“...oh what is this feeling?”
“Every little trait however small...”
“Does it have a name?”
“...makes our very flesh begin to crawl!”
“Yes!”
“Ahh...”
“LOATHING!” Everyone shouted. Harry and Draco were standing nose to nose, both fervently wishing the song was nearly over.
“There’s a strange exhilaration...”
“Loathing!”
“...in such total detestation!”
“Loathing!”
“So pure, so strong!”
“Loathing!”
“Though I do admit it came on fast, still I do believe that it can last. And I will be loathing...”
“Loathing!”
“...for forever...”
“Loathing!”
“...truly, deeply loathing you...”
“Loathing you!”
“My whole life long!”

The final notes faded away and the only sound to be heard in the dead silence was a single pair of hands clapping. Every one looked up to the Head Table and saw Dumbledore clapping steadily, a strangely amused look on his face.
Harry and Draco turned back to glare at each other once more. And to his complete horror, Harry realized that if he squinted up his eyes and tilted his head he could see why every girl sighed as Draco swished dramatically by. Panic-stricken once again, Harry turned hastily on his heel. Then a grin bloomed. An evil grin. He spun back around, arms outstreached.
“BOO!” He shouted. Then joined the rest of the Hall in laughing uproariously at Draco’s answering shriek.

[author begs pathetically for reviews]