A Very Lupin Christmas

The shabbily dressed wizard stood in front of Madame Cherie's Gems and gazed at the rings on display. The one item that drew him there every Hogsmeade Saturday was still on the shelf. It had been there since he had first seen it in August, just before term started at Hogwarts. Now the snow was drifting down in lazy flakes on this Christmas Eve. As much as he wanted to get it for his wife, finances were tight. His professor's pay barely paid the bills, and his wife had been fired the day she married a werewolf.

Remus shoved his hands deep into his pockets to warm them as he slipped across the ice covered streets back to Hogwarts-- and his beautiful wife, Nymphadora. At eight and a half months pregnant she had a glow that warmed his heart. She never complained about the lack of galleons in their pockets, but with the baby and all the expenses he brought, it was going to be even harder to provide.

Remus had been amazed and proud when he was told they were having a son. Hopefully his life would be better then his father's was going. They'd wanted a baby for years, and the Gods' had finally blessed them.

“I wish I had never been bitten!” Remus shouted angrily as he slipped once more falling and slamming his temple hard into a rock. As stars dance around in his head, he became unconscious. The snow drifted down still, covering his body with a thin layer of flakes.


~*~

Two wizards from days gone by looked down from the Heavens as Remus made his plea. Their hair white from age and wisdom, the two looked down upon the hapless wizard with compassion.

“You knew this one in life, Albus?” The oldest of them asked, his beard white as snow and trailing to the clouds. He wore robes of the brightest white, a long wooden staff clutched in his hands. He had been referred to as the most famous and most powerful wizard ever.

“Yes, Merlin. He was one of my favorites, a Gryffindor like myself. As a child he was bitten by a nasty werewolf by the name of Fenrir Greyback. That day forever changed the boy's life to one of misery and misunderstanding. We had to use subterfuge to gain him admittance to Hogwarts, for werewolves are feared by the Moonlight.” Albus Dumbledore said, gazing through the clouds to watch the snow slowly cover the figure. His robes were of purple, his favorite color in life. He wore upon his head a purple pointed cap, gold braiding sewn throughout his outfit. Once he had been the Headmaster at Hogwarts, a school for magical studies. He had lived to the ripe old age of one hundred and fifty years.

“So he would like to see how his life would have been if he had never been bitten? Does he know how that one day touched so many of the lives around him?” Merlin asked, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“He only sees it as hindrance, not the gift of it.” Albus's eyes sadly twinkled like the stars that surrounded them.

“So, if we grant him his wish, do you think he'll appreciate his life?” Merlin asked.

“If it was for just one night,” Albus suggested. “Just to show him those things that make his life remarkable.”

“He will need a guide through this. Are you up to the task?” Merlin asked.

“It would be a gift to myself to walk amongst my friends again, Merlin.” Albus said.

“If he chooses to make this permanent, time will be forever changed,” Merlin cautioned.

“I have a feeling that just one night without his bite will show him how truly wonderful his life has been.” Albus said with conviction.

“So be it!” Merlin shouted his decree. “For tonight Remus Lupin shall see the world as it would have been if he had never been bitten!” A thunderous clap shook the Heavens as Albus Dumbledore slid down a rainbow to where Remus Lupin lay, half covered with snow.

~*~

“Wake up, Remus!” Albus shook him by his shoulder gently, the unconscious wizard groaned; slowly sitting up.

“Albus!” Remus cried out with disbelief. “But you're dead!”

“I will admit to that, my boy.” Albus's eyes twinkled as he looked at his former student and friend. “It's been a great adventure so far.” He smiled.

“So does that--” Remus gulped, “I am dead also?” With Albus's help Remus stood up and brushed the snow from his clothes. He looked at them in amazement, for they weren't the shabby ones he had worn earlier. He was robed in a deep blue jacket and pants, his shoes looked like something he had once seen Lucius Malfoy wear.

“No.. no.. Remus you have been given a great gift. A vision of what your life would have been if you hadn't been bitten. You will then be given the choice before the clocks chime in Christmas to keep it permanent.” Albus informed him.

“That's barely five hours away!” Remus exclaimed. “How can I know in that amount of time? How can I know if I make the right choice?”

“Let your heart be your guide on this. Oh and me also.” Albus nodded happily. “For tonight I walk with you!”

“So even in this time you still die? Severus Snape still kills you?” Remus questioned.

“Now Remus, I still die that is true. But you must discover how yourself.” Albus told him.


~*~


They walked together down the snow covered path, their breath coming out in light white buffs as they breathed. Icicles hung from the tree branches, and shy magical animals peaked from behind bushes as they passed by. Through the trees the old castle could be seen as they neared the end of the path. Magical green lights twinkled around it and green pine wreath were placed on its entrance doors.

“This is not the same as when I left!” Remus said questioningly to Albus. “It's all green, not another color visible. Where is the Gryffindor red, the Hufflepuff yellow and Ravenclaw blue?”

“Things are different now, Remus. All will be revealed after you enter those doors.” Albus sadly said. “No one else can see me Remus; only you, so speak carefully.” He warned.

Remus hand touched the door knob, and before he could turn it the door swung open and a wizard dressed in somber black stood there. His hair and eyes were also black, and his robes were buttoned to the top of his throat. He had a long hooked nose and his skin was pale from hours spent in his Potions room.

“You're late, Lupin. Christmas Revel starts in an hour, but He wants us there early. You know how He gets with latecomers.” Severus stood there with a sneer. “Follow, we need to get ready.” He turned without another word, his robes billowing behind him as he strode to a small room. Remus looked at Albus questioningly, but just received a shrug for an answer.

Severus Snape unwarded his signatured lock and flung the door open and entered. He turned with a glare at Remus, who hesitated before entering.

“Hurry up!” Snape hissed out, slamming the door after Remus entered. “I for one will not enjoy my Christmas curse if we are any later.” He opened a sliding door revealing a closet with two long hooded black robes, a white mask hanging by hook next to each of them. Remus looked at them with a veiled disgust. Snape is still a Death Eater, he thought.

“What is your problem tonight, old man? You enjoy these gatherings.” Snape said, handing him one set off the hook to dress in. Remus looked at Albus in shock, his fingers gripping his Death Eater costume tightly.

Remus remembered what Snape had told him about the Dark Lord's Revels. They were a truly Dark celebration of orgies and tortures. Many Muggles and those considered traitorous to Voldemort were found strewn though the fields surrounding Hogwarts after one of those twisted parties had occurred. Most of the dead had been hard to identify, and he also remembered Snape's hatred for those parties. He doesn't look as if he hates them now.

Why is he giving me these? Remus thought, his hands clenched tight around the fabric.

“Just put it on, Remus. Go along with it for now.” Albus advised him, all twinkle gone from his eyes now. He surveyed his former colleague, Severus Snape, with an air of resignation.

“Nothing is wrong,” Remus answered Snape. “It was just a long walk back from Hogsmeade and I am tired. Maybe I could just skip this party.”

“No one skips a Revel, Lupin. You should know this by now. Hurry up!” Snape repeated harshly, tying on his mask and drawing up his hood. Sighing with impatience, Snape grabbed the mask from Remus's hand and tied it to Remus's face himself. Remus let go of his lethargy and drew the robes on himself, pulling up the long pointed hood.

He saw Albus shake his head slowly in sadness. Something had definitely gone terribly wrong in the time line, the purple robed wizard feared. The sight of Remus in Death Eater robes chilled his heart, and he hoped that he had the strength to carry through. For once, Albus felt doubtful about the outcome of one his plans. What if Remus actually liked this future?

With a gasp Remus clutched his left forearm, it burned and he had never felt this sensation before. It was worse then his transformations had been before the Wolfsbane potion. He fell to the ground with pain, Snape looking at him in anger.

“Dammit Lupin! Stop acting like you have never felt a summons before. He's angry now.” Snape grabbed him by the arm, pulling him up and shoving him through the door. Severus rewarded the doors and pushed Remus down the corridor to the entrance. Students walking the halls looked at them without surprise. Remus's heart plunged with that realisation.

“Merry Christmas Headmaster Snape and Professor Lupin,” They said, shocking Remus further. In all the students that had passed them by, he only saw the colors of Slytherin. His heart chilled with that thought. What had happened to the other Houses?

“Where's Minnie?” He asked out loud, forgetting for a moment that this was a lapse in time.

“McGonagall?” Snape snorted out her name in disgust. “The old hag died with Dumbledore trying to defend the castle from our forces. I enjoyed watching Potter's face when his former Head of House fell to the killing curse.” Snape laughed, a chilling sound to Remus's heart.


Just how different was this time? He pondered. They reached the apparition point. Great, he thought, where in Hades are we going?

“Snape I don't mean to be a prat, but where are we going?” Remus finally admitted his ignorance.

“What did you do, hit your head or something?” Snape looked at him quizzically.

How little he knows, Remus thought ironically.

“We are going to the Dark Lord's manor. Point your wand at your Mark and you'll be there.” Snape snorted out his answer.

“Thank you.” Remus listened as Severus uttered the spell, and copying it, he felt the tug in his stomach as he ported, swirling in the colored lights before landing with a loud thunk outside the manor. He stood up uncertainly, brushing the snow off his robes. He looked up at the deceivingly benign domicile, for inside he knew the blackest hearted of all lived there. He recognized this as being the former home of the Longbottoms.

“Follow.” Snape said as they briskly walked up the walkway to the open door. The sounds of music, laughter and loud talking could be heard. Remus gave a wary glance towards Albus before entering the manor.

“Sounds like our absence wasn't missed.” Remus said, looking in horror at the legion of Death Eaters that crowded around them. They were all still robed and masked, so he didn't have a clue who was who. The walls were covered in green and silver wallpaper, and paintings of former great Slytherins were displayed.

“That is an incorrect statement, Lupin. I feel His anger at our tardiness. Quickly now, and make your prettiest bow before Him. That may appease Him, or at least lessen our punishment.” With that Severus pushed open the ballroom doors to make their entrance. Remus held back, staring into the room. It was filled with even more Death Eaters. From the front of the room a voice called out to them.

“Greetings, Latecomers.” Voldemort hissed angrily from a throne-like chair. Nagini rested by his feet, her coils wrapped around his legs. Her head lazily lifted from the Dark Lord's lap to flick her tongue out, feeding off the evil that permeated the room. The candles on the wall casted shadows on the two as they barely lit the room.

“Lupin!” Severus whispered, turning to look at him in warning. “Don't tarry.” He strode away, the Death Eaters parting for him as he walked to the dais.

Remus looked at Albus again, his eyes pleading through his mask for answers. Dumbledore just shook his head sadly, motioning him with one hand to go forward.

“Don't be shy, Remus. Come forth!” Voldemort said, his wand clutched in his long misshapen fingers. His red eyes glowed as he waited for Remus to pay his homage.

Remus took a deep breath before stepping forward. He saw Severus bow low before Voldemort as he neared. He felt Albus's gentle poke in the back before doing the same. He kept his head lowered as he genuflected as Severus had. He lifted his eyes up just enough to glance at the monster seated before them. Voldemort's mouth was shaped in a caricature of a smile as he grinned evilly down at them.

How could this be, he thought. How could not being bitten cause me to be here? This is so wrong! His heart cried out in his chest in heavy beats.

“Drop your hoods and reveal yourselves!” The Dark Lord ordered. “Arise, both of you. Because it is Christmas, I will forgive your lateness. Pity though, your pain pleases me.” Remus and Severus stood, and all the Death Eaters dropped their hoods and masks. Remus looked around carefully, seeing a lot he knew. Lucius Malfoy, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange, James Potter-- James Potter? Sirius Black?

“Padfoot? Prongs? What in bloody Hell?” He whispered in agony, looking at Albus. He didn't care if they thought he was crazy, he had to know. His eyes followed the purple-clad wizard as he walked to stand behind Voldemort.

“Remus you didn't have the caution and respect for life your bite gave you. You became just like them, careless, fun loving and a prankster. You joined in on the pranks they did to Severus, and made them all the worse. There was no werewolf incident in for James to save Severus from. His heart is truly black and cold. Severus serves only Voldemort.” Albus's head shook sadly, “You weren't a werewolf, so those two had no cause to think of others, no reason not to trust the seduction that Voldemort brought forth. All of you followed Severus into his service. You yourself had no reason to hate the bigotry he brought forth into the world.”

“Lily?” Remus asked. “What happened to Lily? Merlin's beard-- what about Harry?” He looked at Albus, who confirmed his fears.

“You didn't have the gentleness your condition brought, or the understanding. You never influenced Lily or James to get together. There was never a Harry born, there was never a James and Lily. Neville Longbottom wasn't strong enough to fulfill the prophesy. He fell quickly to Voldemort's wand.” A tear rolled down Albus's cheek with those words.

“What happened to Lily?” Remus shouted, eyes turning to stare in him in shock.

“Lupin are you crazy?” James asked, “You're the one who brought Lily the mudblood to our first Revel. It was delicious fun.”

“No, you're lying!” Remus took James by the shoulders and shook him. “You loved Lily!” His eyes wildly sought out Snape and Sirius. “All of us loved her.”

“Mudbloods like her are good for only one thing, Remus. Dying prettily for our Lord.” Sirius said as he laughed.

“You really did hit your head tonight Lupin? Didn't you?” Severus said, staring in deep thought at Remus. His eyes studied him, like he was seeing Remus Lupin for the first time.

Voldemort sat back and watched, his long fingers caressing his chin in thought; waiting to see the outcome of this little show. He was enjoying the despair that Lupin was showing, it was feeding his dark heart as he coldly wondered what had happened to one of his favorite Death Eaters.

Lupin looked back and forth at those he had called mates from his school days and back to the one the War had slowly taught him to consider a friend. They looked back at him as if he was losing his mind. Remus felt the same way. How could just one small bite have kept this all from happening?

“They don't remember that Remus. For them none of that happened. They only know--”

“Know what?” Remus asked not caring if he was heard. What did it matter? If this was now his life, he didn't want to live it.

“That you were a hero to them for killing me.” Albus said and Remus felt as if the words ripped out his heart.

“I didn't kill Albus Dumbledore!” Remus shouted, and was surrounded by other Death Eaters now. They thought he was seriously mad, and feared he would attack their Lord.

“Like I didn't kill Minerva McGonagall. Funny, Remus.” James laughed at him, and Snape and Sirius patted James on the back.

“You did it well friend, you got the old witch good. Right between the eyes. It was a beautiful sight, you both did us proud that night.” Sirius said.

“You made a rhyme, old friend.” James smirked with happiness.

Remus felt his bile rise up, almost choking him His hands clenched into tight fists as he snarled out. “I didn't kill Albus-- Snape did!”

“Again, funny, Remus.” James laughed. “Snape lured him and McGonagall out of the castle. But. We. Did. The. Deed.” He poked Remus in the shoulder with each of his words. Cheers rose up from the Death Eaters at his declaration.

“No! This is wrong!” Remus shouted at James and Sirius. “You both should be as dead as they are!”

“Us dead? I think you have slipped off that rocker you sit on in the library one too many times, old friend.” Sirius said.

Voldemort stood and walked towards them finally, Nagini slithering behind him. There was something weird going on, and it wasn't good for him. “Legilimens!” He said, touching Remus's forehead. In a flash he was filled with the unsuspecting wizard's thoughts of the true future. He broke the contact and stepped back.

“Accept the gift, Remus!” Tom Riddle pointed his wand at him. “Accept the gift, it will be painless and you will forget all those lovely memories I just saw. I'll even give you this Nymphadora you love for a small time.” Voldemort's head nodded. “Bring her forth!”

Snape went to the group of prisoners in the corner, awaiting the Revel. He poked and prodded through them till he found her. Her hair was purple and her eyes defiant. She made a deep sound in her throat before spiting at him. It rolled down his nose and he angrily drew back his hand, slapping her. Her head snapped back with a small cry, blood trickling from her split lip.

Remus stood still from the shock. It was his Nymphadora-- his Tonks. How did she get here in this macabre mess of a dream he I'm having?

“This is no dream, Remus. This all will happen if you accept the gift as Voldemort wants. I die no matter what you decide, so don't let me sway you. Think of Harry, Hermione, the Weasleys and your Tonks. Is this truly how you want to live?” Albus asked.

Remus watched as Snape dragged the struggling Tonks to him, throwing her at him. With a cry, she fell to her knees at his feet. Her eyes looked at him with hatred and disgust.

“Tonks--” He whispered, his heart breaking. He would do anything for her, to stop her pain and humiliation.

“Accept the gift, and she is yours.” Voldemort repeated, his wand pointed at Remus. “Do not disobey my order!”

“Never!” Remus shouted, looking around the room. Seeing James and Sirius alive had at first made him happy, but deep in his heart the Prongs and Padfoot he knew would not like this future; they'd rather die than live like this.

“Crucio!” Riddle shouted. Remus fell to the ground at Tonks' side. He writhed with the agony that curse brought. He held back the screams as they tried to rip themselves from his throat. “She is yours tonight if you make this reality!” Voldemort words rang through his head, trying to seduce him with empty promises. Tonks was his in the true reality, not this mirror horror.

“Never,” He whispered out, his eyes holding hers. “I love you Tonks. I can't do this. This is not how life was supposed to be.” He bent in pain as another curse hit him, Voldemort's cackles of glee chilling him to the bone. “I'd rather see James and Sirius die then accept this lie of a future.”

“Sectusempra!” Voldemort's spell flew from his wand as he waved it wildly. Small cuts appeared all over Remus, and he felt the blood drip out of them to gather in pools on the floor beneath him. He saw the evil radiate from Voldemort as he laughed manically, enjoying the pain his spells caused him. How could the three of us have change so much to make this creature our master?

“I'm sorry, James, Sirius. I'd rather remember you as you were, not the as evil we have become.” Remus turned tortured sad eyes to his friends. “I won't do it Voldemort!” He shouted, his words ringing off the walls.

“Avadra-” Voldemort's words were cut off with Remus's next words.

“I don't accept this! I want to be bitten!” Remus cried out, the sight of Tom's wand pointing at Tonks forever imprinted in his mind. Her beautiful face staring death bravely in the face.

“I'm proud of you, my boy. Good choice.” He heard Albus say for the last time.

“I want to be bitten!” He cried out again as he slipped into unconsciousness.

~*~

A clock chimed loudly in Hogsmeade, ringing forth Christmas Day. A dark robed wizard walked its paths, searching for something-- someone. The snow was coming down heavier now, and the rocks surrounding the snow covered path seemed huge.

“Remus Lupin!” The wizard called out. “Bloody hell.” He said as he slipped on a patch of ice, sliding down into the snow covered mound. It squished and moaned when he hit it. The wizard swore something again before kneeling.

“Lupin?” He pondered, brushing the snow off. “Remus!” He shook the wizard by the shoulder. “Wake up!” The wizard pulled out his wand. “Enervate!” He cried out, pointing it at Remus.


~*~

Albus returned to the Heavens, magically sliding back up his rainbow to rejoin Merlin. There he found three others, a witch and two wizards. They all looked down at the still form, waiting for him to move.

“He will wake up won't he?” Albus asked worriedly, sitting down on his cloud.

“Yes, and he will remember the future he just saw also.” Merlin answered him.

“Moony made the correct choice.” James Potter said, “He was right, I'd rather be dead then in the service of that madman. Plus I had those few precious years with my Lily and we had Harry,” He smiled at the witch.

“Come on Prongs, let's go!” Sirius turned into his Animagus form and looped off into the clouds, a white stag following behind him.

“They'll never grow up I fear, Albus.” Lily laughed. “Thank you, for allowing Remus this adventure. He's always hated himself for what had happened. Hopefully he's learned to accept the inner being.”

“Only time will tell.” Merlin said wisely.