Wandering Stars

I awoke with a start from the sound of thunder. Lightning crashed outside and lit up my room brightly. I was covered in sweat and breathing hard. Slowly I untangled myself from my bed sheets. I haven’t slept well since he left. Oh, my beautiful Sirius. My sweet Padfoot. I missed him so much my body actually ached. As I entered the bathroom I saw my horrible reflection in the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes, my cheeks seemed hollow, and my long hair looked like it hadn’t seen care in weeks. What’s the point, I thought. I am in isolation and I have no idea where my beloved is, so why try? Remus old boy, you are a shadow of your former self. My eyes wandered over to the window.
I began to think of Sirius Black. I had known Si since our school days at Hogwarts. He is the only person I have ever loved. From our first awkward kiss I knew nobody else would ever compare to him. We would sneak kisses and hugs when no one was looking and hold hands under the desks during class. After years of happiness with him, both at Hogwarts and afterward, the evil wizard came into power and that is when everything changed. Doubts and secrets arouse. I foolishly thought that my sweet boy could be in alliance with such evil and kill our best friends, Lily and James Potter. When he was sent to Azkaban my body began to hurt. I missed him and truly I didn’t care if he was evil, I just wanted him. For years and years I did not see my love. My life had no joy; I just went through the motions of a human. Until a few weeks ago when I saw him again. An odd experience, I must say, but I found the truth that Sirius was innocent. It felt like something was lifted from my soul. I actually felt hope, maybe things could go back to how they were. But I was kidding myself. Sirius was a convicted murder, a fugitive. And in a way, so was I. Things could never be what they were.
Nights were the hardest to get through alone. Especially the rainy nights, they reminded me too much of our first night together. I decided to go outside. When I did the rain began to pour down on me. The rain caressed my lips like he once did. My salty tears mixed with the water. The only comfort I had was he was under the same sky and maybe he was doing the same thing I was. I just hope he knows how much I love him, oh god how I love him.

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Sirius rested his back against the cave wall. The rain poured down outside the cave door. His clothes were soaked since he was just standing out in the wet weather. He had been out there thinking about his only love, Remus Lupin. His precious Moony was God knows where and alone. He hated being without him. He had somewhat learned how to cope when he was in prison but now that he was out the pain was all too much. He missed the days of school when Sirius wanted Remus to help him study and he could just stare at Remus for hours in the quite library. The rain made Sirius recall their first encounter. He had been friends with Remus for about two years before he began noticing him in a different way, thanks to puberty. By this time they were already best friends and almost never apart. Sirius couldn’t take his eyes off of Remus, never. They bunked in the same room and it was always a comfort to watch Remus sleep when he could not. He was always so gorgeous, thought Sirius. His perfection could almost bring Sirius to tears. But Sirius didn’t know how to tell Remus, so he kept his feelings to himself. All the time things happened, though, that kept him going. Like when their hands would sometimes touch under the desks or when he would catch Remus looking at him in the same way he looked at Remus. He was almost sure that in their fourth year when he was almost asleep, Remus kissed his cheek goodnight. Truthfully he could never really be sure if Remus felt the same as he did, that is until their fifth year. The tension seemed to be slowly building between the two of them. Not only was that happening but something else had come about in their lives. Sirius always thought that his Remus was special but he was special in a different way, he was a werewolf. This year Sirius, James, and Peter decided to join their best friend in changing into animals. On the full moon they changed together and went into the secret passageway under a whomping willow that led to a safe house called the Shrieking Shack and they would stay there for the night. One evening a few nights after the full moon, Remus met Sirius after he got out of detention. Sirius was always in trouble but Remus was a prefect so it was alright for them to be out after hours. They decided to take a walk around the grounds. They talked about everyday things, they both seemed so nervous. When they were rounding the edge of the lake it began to rain. Remus asked if they should go back. Sirius only smiled and shook his head, he thought Remus looked wonderful with the rain covering his body. Remus replied with I’m alright, as long as you are, but then he blushed and looked away quickly. Sirius could take it no longer, his love and passions had been building for years now and it began to spill out. Sirius started blurting out words such as, I love you, you are everything, and I want you more than anything. Remus looked at him like he was in a dream. Sirius then put his arms around Remus and pulled him close. Please kiss me, Remus said. Sirius felt happier than any other moment in his life, he leaned in and captured Remus’ lips with his own. The world around them seemed to melt away. Remus sucked on his tongue and Sirius felt a wave of overwhelming pleasure. Sirius moved his hands over Remus. First his chest, then his back, finally he moved onto the lower regions of his body. Remus pulled away slowly, and then pushed Sirius’s hair out of his face. Sirius felt like his heart was going to explode. The kiss was more than he ever wanted, the rain on his lips seemed to lock in the taste of his loves lips. Remus suggested they find a dry place to sit in for awhile. They decided to go through the passage to the shack. When they were in the house the coldness seemed to catch up to them, so they took off most of their clothes. Sirius was seated on a blanket on the floor and saw Remus standing almost nude and looking so innocent. Remus said he loved him and had for years. Sirius didn’t want to talk anymore and said as such. Remus dropped to the floor and crawled over to him and nuzzled his neck. Sirius moaned quietly. Sirius put his hands where he left off from before. Remus was so timid and caring when he kissed Sirius’s body. Sirius didn’t know how to respond, it was all so new but it felt so good. He pulled Remus up so their lips met again and they lay down on the ground together. Slowly they explored one another’s bodies. Sirius felt the smooth skin all over Remus. He wanted to be everywhere on his body. Sirius bit softly on his ear and felt Remus getting hard. Remus pushed Sirius onto his back and lightly kissed his way to Sirius’s stiff cock. Remus continued the kisses and started licking as well. Then he took the whole of Sirius into his mouth. Sirius watched Remus move his head up and down. A few moments later all of the years of pent up passion exploded from Sirius, he screamed and felt a wave of release. Oh my love, he thought. When Remus resumed his place next to Sirius, Sirius placed his hand on Remus’ groin. His eyes closed as Sirius rubbed the long shaft. Touching him in that way was wonderful for Sirius, already he was feeling the ache between his legs. Almost as quickly as Sirius, Remus had the same release. His body trembled and he relaxed onto the floor. He sighed deeply and Sirius told him he was beautiful. He smiled, so are you. They began to kiss again. Sirius wanted more, he wanted to be in Remus so badly. They sat up and Remus sat in Sirius’s lap and they pressed their bodies together. Remus moved his naked ass over Sirius hot cock and wrapped his legs around him. Carefully he slid himself into Remus. Back and forth he moved. Everything slowed down and everything became so much clearer. He could hear the rain outside and felt Remus’ hot breath on him. Every moment was more than what he had dreamed. Each time he breathed it felt like heaven. They said I love you so many times it lost all meaning. Inside Remus it was tight and warm. The friction felt like electricity and Sirius felt their hearts beat in unison. Sirius began to climax at almost the same time as Remus. Remus began to whisper Sirius’s name and that is what drove him over the edge. Sirius bucked hard into Remus and came only a few seconds after he felt Remus’ liquid cover his stomach. Remus fell onto Sirius and closed his eyes. Sirius wished they could stay like this all night but he knew they should return soon. He said this to Remus and Remus nodded. Before getting up Remus kissed the tip of Sirius nose and whispered, never leave me Padfoot. I wouldn’t dream of it my Moony. While Sirius dressed he watched Remus do the same. His body was perfect. His curves where just right and his hips looked to nice…Sirius had to force himself to look away. They took each others hands and walked back to the castle. The rain was lighter now and the sky was clearing. Before they reached the doors they promised always to remember that night and think of one another when the rain poured.
So that is what Sirius was doing. The rain came down and he thought of the only thing he truly lived for, Remus Lupin. He wanted it to be that night again. He wanted to breathe heaven.
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I slowly became aware that morning came. I wish I was still asleep. Somehow I actually dreamed of the first night Sirius and I were together. It had been so long since I had dreamed, and even longer since the dream was good. A smile even lingered on the corners of my mouth. But truthfully I don’t know if that made things better or worse. I got up slowly and made my way into the brightly lit kitchen and drank some hot coffee. I walked outside into the daylight. Off in the distance I saw something approaching fast. I was out in the middle of nowhere, nobody knew I was here, and my house looked like just another side of the mountain. A few seconds later I realized it was Fawkes, a great phoenix owned by the great wizard Dumbledore. My hopes began to rise slightly. The bird landed on my shoulder and dropped the letter into my hand. I quickly ripped it open and read what Dumbledore had written. It told me to prepare for a visitor, an old friend, for a long stay for Padfoot will come soon.