Why those eyes?

Nothing mine. Except the plot
as long as there is one.

!!!NOT BETA'D!!!

**°°**

Why those eyes?
Why do they hunt me down?
Why do I want to get caught?
Every day and every night.
Why does this happen to me?
Why do I feel persecuted?
Looking around every corner.
Always feeling those eyes drilling in my back.
Green lightning. Vivid. Vibrant. Vivacious.
Green death. Dejected. Doleful. Depressed.
Is no one recognizing, but me?
This boy is breaking apart in front of you!
He is you friend. Take the responsibility
or he will not make it.
I’m not allowed to help.
I’m just allowed to feel those eyes on me.
I know he’s watching me.
I see it - sometimes. I feel it - always.
Those eyes.
Those eyes are pleading.
Pleading for help. Pleading for acceptance.
Pleading for care. Pleading for love.
You’re all so egoistic.
You’re all so ignorant.
I’m being called the same,
but you do hide those parts of your personality
behind faked caring, interest, comfort, love.
YOU DO NOTHING!
Have you ever watched those eyes, like I did?
Have you ever received such looks, like I did?
He doesn’t trust you?
He doesn’t trust himself.

Again!
You pay no attention.
He’s leaving and you’re not even noticing.
But I did.
Again!
I can’t endure his piercing look on me.
But not feeling it is even worse.
This time I will change it.
You do nothing. So I will do everything.
Out of the hall. Tapping on his shoulder.
He’s turning around and doesn’t glare.
Why’s he not glaring at me?
He’s looking at me with glassy eyes.
I give him a wary smile.
“Hi Harry.”
And everything began.

**°°**

Crying. Not Crying.
Patience. Strength. Courage.
I hate these three words.
Expectations. Fulfil. Rescue.
I hate these three words the most.
I’m supposed to give you confidence?
What do you give me in exchange?
Nothing!
You give me nothing.
Do you know where I find comfort?
In his eyes. In his looks.
In his voice. In his non-expectation.
He’s not putting the whole world on my shoulders.
He’s not burdening me with rescuing everyone.
How should I take care,
when I’m not able to take care of myself?
I just need to see him and I feel at ease.
I just need to see him and everything else
is forgotten for some time.
His grace. His quietness. His strength.
Like it’s rubbing off on me for a tiny bit,
for a tiny moment.
I could never tell THEM
what I feel for HIM.
They wouldn’t understand. Never.
But they are too blind to realize themselves.
Not even realizing that I’m crestfallen.
Not even realizing that I’m loosing my sanity.
Always just
want, want, want
take, take, take.
Never
give, give, give.
Not even trying.

Has he seen me looking?
Never mind. I leave.
Just the hall, not the world – alas.
I’m not good at suppressing my emotions
when they are reaching the limit.
Crying. Not Crying.
They don’t want to see.
Or they would have to ask out of courtesy.
I don’t want those faked emotions.
I don’t want those faked interests in me.
- A tapping on my shoulder.
I turn around.
A confused look turns into a wary, sweet smile.
”Hi Harry.”
And everything began.

**°°**

[I'm not sure if this will stay as an oneshot
[or not. What do you think?
[I'm happy about every comment]