Cold
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,632
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,632
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Cold
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HARRY POTTER WORLD, THAT BELONGS TO THE LOVELY MS. ROWLING. THE SONG LYRICS ARE COPYRIGHTED TO CROSSFADE, SO I DON’T OWN THOSE EITHER….
A/N: This is just a little oneshot that’s been floating in my head for about a week now, just a little songfic, to perhaps tide you over until I get updates on my two main stories. Also, I made a new blog page that allows people who don’t have myspace to see when I update. You can find it here www.takemeawayfanfiction.blogspot.com.
Severus looked at Hermione’s sad face. The tears forming cut through him like a knife. He held his ground.
“This is about the war isn’t it?” she asked him, tears threatening to fall to her soft cheeks. He wanted to tell her yes, that it was, but he had to be strong. She would never understand that this was to be for her own protection. She had to think he did not love her, so that she would leave---could leave.
“No. This is not about the war. This, just--it cannot be, Miss Granger,” he said, not breaking her gaze. He wanted to touch her, he wanted to tell her he loved her, but he could not.
“Asking me to walk away is not going to win this war. You cannot win this war, Severus. You will not win this war….not alone,” she said evenly, tears still glistening in her eyes. “Look at me and tell me you don’t love me,” she said, a tear finally falling from her amber eye.
Severus’ breath caught in his throat. He was a master at lies, it was his job. Why couldn’t he lie to her? Their eyes locked, and he felt she knew the truth. No. She had to leave. It was for her own good, he reasoned.
“I don’t love you,” he whispered, his heart breaking.
Hermione shook her head gently, fighting back the tears. “You liar,” she whispered, as she turned to go.
When Severus was alone, he slumped to the floor. That was without a doubt the most difficult thing he had ever done in his entire life. He allowed himself to cry. She had been his lifeline, she was the only thing that kept him sane, in his role as spy. She had been there, and she was his light at the end of the tunnel. She was his antidote to the pain that Voldemort inflicted upon him, and he just asked her to leave.
//Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high//
Severus was a wreck. It had been almost a week since he had told Hermione he did not love her. There was a meeting of the Order tonight at headquarters, and it was mandatory, so he would undoubtedly see her.
He had to be composed. He had to show her that this was what he wanted; to be without her. When he entered the rickety house at Grimmauld Place, he felt certain anyone standing within a foot of him could hear his pounding heart. Hands shaking, he placed his heavy overcoat on the rack, and composed himself to walk into the kitchen.
He nearly ran into Hermione. He was sure his face reddened, as did hers.
“Excuse me,” she mumbled, looking at the floor. He could not take seeing her like that. He gently grabbed her arm and led her to the sitting room.
“We need to move past this, if we are to work together, Miss Granger,” he said in what he hoped was a convincing tone. He dared to look at her. The sadness in her eyes broke his heart all over again.
“Well forgive me, Professor, but I do love you. I cannot just dismiss these feelings as easily as you obviously can,” she said, still not looking at him. Her eyes shone with new tears.
Severus felt hollow, and empty. He could not allow himself to break down. He had to be strong. He wanted to tell her he loved her, that he was sorry.
“Perhaps you should learn not to be so insufferably naïve, Miss Granger,” he said sharply. This was eating him alive.
//What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold to you//
How he hated this; having to lie to her. She was the love of his life, and he was protecting her. He just wanted to hold her, to say he was sorry, to make love to her again. He knew he could not. Not ever again.
At least not while Voldemort was still alive. He would not let that cowardly snake take away the woman he loved…even if that meant he could not be with her. She would be alive and that was what mattered to him.
He wondered if she could ever forgive him for this. He imagined a time after the war; a time when he could take her in his arms again. Perhaps she would be able to see him for him again….the way he was before the role of spy had made him so cold, and uncaring. All he cared about was her. He wondered if she would still love him then.
//And I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again
Cause now i can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high
I never meant to be so cold//
Severus never wanted her to see the side of him she had grown to love. He had always fought to keep people out. In his role, forming personal attachments was never a good idea. She had somehow found her way in, next to his icy heart.
He hoped that someday, he could tell her the truth. That he loved her, and he never wanted her to leave him. Merlin, help him, her leaving was the last thing he ever wanted in the world; but he would rather her be alive than dead, or tortured.
He knew if Voldemort ever found out about his love for her, his cover would be blown, and everything the Order had worked for, everything, including his beloved Hermione would be destroyed.
No, it was definitely best this way. He hoped one day she would understand.
//I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me, there’s just no hope
I never meant to be so cold//
“I love you, Severus, and no matter what you say, I know you love me. I hope that someday you will come to your senses, and realize that,” Hermione said softly.
“You should not harbor such delusions, Miss Granger,” he said to her; though in his heart he was saying he was sorry.
//What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold to you//
A/N: This is just a little oneshot that’s been floating in my head for about a week now, just a little songfic, to perhaps tide you over until I get updates on my two main stories. Also, I made a new blog page that allows people who don’t have myspace to see when I update. You can find it here www.takemeawayfanfiction.blogspot.com.
Cold
Severus looked at Hermione’s sad face. The tears forming cut through him like a knife. He held his ground.
“This is about the war isn’t it?” she asked him, tears threatening to fall to her soft cheeks. He wanted to tell her yes, that it was, but he had to be strong. She would never understand that this was to be for her own protection. She had to think he did not love her, so that she would leave---could leave.
“No. This is not about the war. This, just--it cannot be, Miss Granger,” he said, not breaking her gaze. He wanted to touch her, he wanted to tell her he loved her, but he could not.
“Asking me to walk away is not going to win this war. You cannot win this war, Severus. You will not win this war….not alone,” she said evenly, tears still glistening in her eyes. “Look at me and tell me you don’t love me,” she said, a tear finally falling from her amber eye.
Severus’ breath caught in his throat. He was a master at lies, it was his job. Why couldn’t he lie to her? Their eyes locked, and he felt she knew the truth. No. She had to leave. It was for her own good, he reasoned.
“I don’t love you,” he whispered, his heart breaking.
Hermione shook her head gently, fighting back the tears. “You liar,” she whispered, as she turned to go.
When Severus was alone, he slumped to the floor. That was without a doubt the most difficult thing he had ever done in his entire life. He allowed himself to cry. She had been his lifeline, she was the only thing that kept him sane, in his role as spy. She had been there, and she was his light at the end of the tunnel. She was his antidote to the pain that Voldemort inflicted upon him, and he just asked her to leave.
//Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high//
Severus was a wreck. It had been almost a week since he had told Hermione he did not love her. There was a meeting of the Order tonight at headquarters, and it was mandatory, so he would undoubtedly see her.
He had to be composed. He had to show her that this was what he wanted; to be without her. When he entered the rickety house at Grimmauld Place, he felt certain anyone standing within a foot of him could hear his pounding heart. Hands shaking, he placed his heavy overcoat on the rack, and composed himself to walk into the kitchen.
He nearly ran into Hermione. He was sure his face reddened, as did hers.
“Excuse me,” she mumbled, looking at the floor. He could not take seeing her like that. He gently grabbed her arm and led her to the sitting room.
“We need to move past this, if we are to work together, Miss Granger,” he said in what he hoped was a convincing tone. He dared to look at her. The sadness in her eyes broke his heart all over again.
“Well forgive me, Professor, but I do love you. I cannot just dismiss these feelings as easily as you obviously can,” she said, still not looking at him. Her eyes shone with new tears.
Severus felt hollow, and empty. He could not allow himself to break down. He had to be strong. He wanted to tell her he loved her, that he was sorry.
“Perhaps you should learn not to be so insufferably naïve, Miss Granger,” he said sharply. This was eating him alive.
//What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold to you//
How he hated this; having to lie to her. She was the love of his life, and he was protecting her. He just wanted to hold her, to say he was sorry, to make love to her again. He knew he could not. Not ever again.
At least not while Voldemort was still alive. He would not let that cowardly snake take away the woman he loved…even if that meant he could not be with her. She would be alive and that was what mattered to him.
He wondered if she could ever forgive him for this. He imagined a time after the war; a time when he could take her in his arms again. Perhaps she would be able to see him for him again….the way he was before the role of spy had made him so cold, and uncaring. All he cared about was her. He wondered if she would still love him then.
//And I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again
Cause now i can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high
I never meant to be so cold//
Severus never wanted her to see the side of him she had grown to love. He had always fought to keep people out. In his role, forming personal attachments was never a good idea. She had somehow found her way in, next to his icy heart.
He hoped that someday, he could tell her the truth. That he loved her, and he never wanted her to leave him. Merlin, help him, her leaving was the last thing he ever wanted in the world; but he would rather her be alive than dead, or tortured.
He knew if Voldemort ever found out about his love for her, his cover would be blown, and everything the Order had worked for, everything, including his beloved Hermione would be destroyed.
No, it was definitely best this way. He hoped one day she would understand.
//I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me, there’s just no hope
I never meant to be so cold//
“I love you, Severus, and no matter what you say, I know you love me. I hope that someday you will come to your senses, and realize that,” Hermione said softly.
“You should not harbor such delusions, Miss Granger,” he said to her; though in his heart he was saying he was sorry.
//What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold to you//