Grey Would Be The Color

Harry Potter gazed longingly across the teachers lounge at the great potions master, Severus Snape. Harry had been teaching at Hogwarts for about three months now and he was hopelessly in love with Snape. He loved him since they had worked so closely in the war about a year ago. They became friends before but now Snape seemed to barely tolerate Harry’s existence.
Snape turned, slowly stirring his coffee, his eyes locked with Harry’s. Harry smiled only to receive a grimace from Snape who then walked briskly from the room. His heart sank and he let the pain he felt cloud his eyes before he left the room as well.

***********

Harry sat up suddenly in bed, drenched in sweat. His cock was hard; his favorite dream still washing ashore. He got out of bed and looked for his pack of cigarettes, why sleep anymore if his dreams torment him as much as the waking world. He perched on the window seat in his room, looking out his window at the forbidden forest below. He took a long drag off of his cigarette and let the smoke burn his throat. He wondered what Snape really thought of him. Once, he thought they were friends. Now, he wondered if he had done something wrong or maybe there was just something so wrong with him that Snape really just didn’t like him. What could he do?
During the war, Snape was at his side. They spent night and day together, fighting. Once they were ambushed by Deatheaters. Snape had taken a hit meant for Harry. The other Aurors fought on while Harry knelt at Snape’s side, knowing he couldn’t lose this man; he made everything bad in his world go away. Snape seemed to be unconscious but his body was shaking from pain, tears were sliding down his cheeks. Harry kissed them away while muttering counter curses and healing charms. When Snape’s eyes finally opened Harry’s name was on his lips.
After that Snape began to distance himself. Now that things had gone back to relative normality in the wizarding world, he went through the motions of the day; eating, teaching, laughing, talking, but he didn’t feel any of it. He acted just as he should. At all times Snape was in the back of his mind. He felt about Snape like he felt like nothing else. Where Snape was concerned there was no acting. He loved everything about Snape. His eyes, his hands, his smell, his voice. His hands…the recent dream was scraping in his head, hands not his own covering his body. Harry’s hand encircled his half-hard prick and began to stroke. Not his hand. Snape’s. Always Snape’s. He makes this all go away.

********

The end of the week finally arrived. Once dusk hit Harry put on his cloak and left the castle. He wanted to avoid Snape tonight. He seemed on the edge and just seeing the man might push him over. As his feet carried him towards the edge of Hogwarts, his mind drifted closer to Snape.
He apperated to London, hoping to find release or a drink. Ever since the war, the-boy-who-lived had been loved by all but Harry had been loved by none. Something about the war changed him. He was no longer a happy go lucky child. He was jaded, cold, and empty. He still had his make-shift family that he loved dearly, but they just reminded him that he was just a fading fucking reminder of what he used to be. Harry had to find his own way, without them. And lately, that path took him to dark bars with loud, pulsing music, burning alcohol, and writhing men.
Harry knew tonight he was heading right for his favorite club, Nails. It was a muggle industrial, leather, metal place. He sat at the bar and ordered a double whiskey. He shot it back quickly, wanting to wash away the taste of Snape’s tears and hoping the ear bleeding music would rid him of the echo of Snape’s voice that was always ringing in his ears.
Harry turned on his barstool so he now faced the dance floor. He didn’t wear glasses anymore, his hair now covered his scar, and when he was out on the town he wore tight fitting clothes that were mostly leather. He wanted to distant himself as much as he could from the person that everyone thought he was. If only they knew the half of it. Snape could make all of this go away.
He downed the newest shot of whiskey in his hand. The burn felt good, as good as things could feel these days. He wound his way to the middle of the dance floor and lost himself in the thunderous music. His body twisted and turned, grinding against other bodies as thin and adrift as his. In this place, it seems like such a shame. Though it all looks different now, he knows it’s still the same. The guy closest to Harry rubbed his hands along Harry’s body. Soon their lips met and he tried to melt into it. But this nameless shell looked like so many others in places like this and he wasn’t Snape. Severus, the something Harry could never have. He pretended that this person so close to him meant half of what Snape did. He thought of Snape’s lips, instead of the ones he was kissing. He could feel the erection of another rubbing on his. He tried so hard to feel connected to this one but he all he could see were black, black eyes. Everywhere he looked, Snape was all he saw.
Harry fought his way to the front patio of the club, hands raked his body trying to pull him back into the middle of the thrashing throng. He needed to breathe. Finally he broke free and stepped just outside of the door. He ignited a cigarette and felt the slight wind chill his sweat as he breathed smoke. This thing was slowly tearing him apart. His eyes focused on the smoke. Grey would be the color, if I had a heart. He let his eyes close as he leaned his head back against the wall. His body was buzzing with music and alcohol.
Suddenly, a hand wrenching on his arm brought him back to where he was. He jerked his eyes open to be staring into the face of the only person he ever wanted to look at again.
“Severus?” Harry asked, not believing his senses.
Snape moved closer to Harry and dropped his voice.
“You audacious brat. What do you think you are you doing in a place like this?”
Harry blinked, trying to think of a better way to say: trying to forget you.
Snape’s grip grew tighter, he seemed so disgusted that he would be remotely near anything like this club.
“What do you want from here? Answer me!”
For a second Harry wondered if he never spoke if Snape would let him go, or would he just hold him tighter.
“I just want something I can never have.” Harry whispered.
Snape looked quizzically at him for a moment.
“In any case I am taking you back home this instant.”
Then Harry felt the familiar pull of apperation, the next minute they were standing in front of Hogwarts.
“I will not have you parading around the castle smelling of cigarettes, alcohol, and sweat,” Snape said as he pulled Harry through the grounds and to the entryway. “First you will make yourself presentable before any students may catch a glimpse of you. My bathing chambers will be sufficient.”
Harry didn’t say anything. He just went where Snape took him, why should he protest? This is closest he had been to the man in months. And the most Snape had talked to him, although it did bother him that Snape seemed so upset.
When they got to Snape’s personal chambers, Snape shut the door and put all of his proper wards in place. Harry fell into a armchair by the fire and stared at the tall figure in black.
“Why were you in such a filthy place, Potter?”
“Why the hell do you care?” Harry was slightly annoyed, he hadn’t been called Potter in years.
At first Severus seemed to not have an answer.
“You could get hurt,” he said quietly.
Harry laughed and it came out sounding bitter.
“I guess going to a seedy club is more dangerous than saving the wizarding world then?” He asked.
“You have always had a certain knack for getting into trouble. Always needing someone to bail you out,” Snape sounded angry.
Harry stood up, he was angry now.
“I am not a child, dammit! Back then I couldn’t do the things that I can do now.” Harry felt defeated and small. “You were always the one to show me how.”
Harry wrapped his arms around himself. He was so broken, why would anyone want him? Snape came closer to him then Harry felt arms encircle him and he could smell the scent that belonged only to Severus. He let himself soften into the embrace and tried to hold back the tears he knew were close.
“Maybe I should have left you there. I don’t know what came over me when I saw you. I…”
Harry pulled slightly away so he could look at Severus.
“What were you going to say? Come on tell me.”
The mask that always covered Snape’s features seemed to crack a little. His hands carded through Harry’s hair.
“You make this all go away.”
Harry, once again, could barely trust his senses but he took the chance to press his lips to Snape’s. The fit was perfect when Severus’s tongue found it’s way into his mouth, their teeth clicked and Harry felt the desperate need pour into the kiss. How he had wanted this.
Severus pulled away, panting.
Harry let all of his emotions for Severus show plainly on his face.
“I thought you hated me. I began to fall apart. All I wanted was the one thing I could never have, you. Everything has always been for you. I’m down to just one thing, Severus. And I’m starting to scare myself, but you make it all go away.”
Severus kissed Harry over and over.
“I love you, Harry. I wasn’t ever sure if you could feel the same way.”
“Severus, I love you more than you could imagine.”
The kissing resumed, growing more heated. Snape’s mouth was everything he had remembered it to be.
“But,” Snape growled. “I never want you touching another man again or going to that insidious club ever again. You are mine now.”
Harry felt like his knees were going to give out. This was too good to be true. All of his pain and loss seemed to disappear when Severus claimed his mouth again.
“Shall we continue this in my bedchambers?”
Harry could only nod numbly as he followed Severus into the room he so often dreamed about. The bedroom was exactly how he had always pictured. Everything was dark, almost black, wood. A large four-poster bed with deep green and red satin sheets and bed curtains was the center piece.
Severus began removing Harry’s pieces of leather clothing. He was breathing hard just from the sight of Snape’s hands undressing him. Once he was freed of his clothes, he was able to disrobe Severus. First, a square of naked flesh that grew to a the beautiful pale expanse that was Snape’s body. He was magnificent and they were both so painfully hard.
Severus sat in the center of the bed and Harry was soon on top of him.
“You are gorgeous,” Severus said. Then he whispered something that made the curtains close but a dim light that was coming from nowhere still kept things visible.
Snape reclined back into the mass of pillows at the top of the bed. Harry took this time to kiss and lick all of the places on his body that he could, he started from the top and worked his way down.
He licked at the pale round nipples as Severus squirmed underneath him. Then the navel, then each wonderful hip, and behind each knee (which he seemed to really enjoy). Harry felt like he was going to start salivating when he ultimately went to Snape’s weeping prick. He suckled at the tip before lapping his way to the full balls underneath. He paid special attention to each one, caressing with his mouth, causing Severus to utter delicious moans.
“I am so glad to see that you have found an excellent use for that sweet mouth of yours,” Severus said a little breathless.
In one motion Severus pulled him up to the top of the bed and put him on his back. Snape pulled a jar of clear liquid from who knows where, and coated his fingers in the lubricant. Keeping his eyes on Harry, he ran his fingers up and down Harry’s cock, then dipped one finger into his arse. Harry thought he was going to explode just from that but then Snape was adding another finger and another.
“Please, Severus, I need…”
Harry couldn’t even finish his sentence he was so far gone but he seemed to understand when Harry felt the fingers leave and a large blunt object replaced them. Soon, his beloved potions master was full and inside of him and pumping. Oh gods, it was delicious.
“More…fuck me…harder…”
Harry barely made sense to himself but his words worked. Severus pushed harder and angled the movements just right.
“Harry,” Snape grunted. “Oh, my Harry.”
He leaned down against Harry and kissed him deeply, speeding up his thrusts. He felt Snape’s hand close around his cock and the movements matched the rhythm in is arse. He felt owned, completed, at last.
“Yours, yours, yours!” Harry yelled as he came rocking up into Severus’s hand, releasing everything that he had kept inside.
Snape soon followed, spilling himself deep into Harry.
Severus moved to lay next to Harry and they wrapped around each other so perfectly. This was everything he had always wanted. As he listened to the breathing of the only man he had ever loved, Harry felt the grey fade and his world became a mixture of red and green.