Pondering At Hogwarts

I own nobody and nobody owns me. No profit is being made from the use of these characters.

Authors note: This is my first attempt at fan fiction. Please review! I see many folks have read it, but none have reviewed. Please don't make me beg...


Are You Pondering At Hogwarts

"Harry, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Uh, I think so, Professor Dumbledoor, but studying for NEWT’s, training for the quidditch house cup, AND saving the wizarding world ... oooh, it's all too much for me.

"Professor McGonagall, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Hagrid, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?

"Ginny, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Ooooh Harry! I certainly hope so.

"Order of the Phoenix Casting Director, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Well, I think so J.K., but Kevin Costner with an English accent?!?!

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Hermione?"
Well, I think so Ron, but what if we stick to the seat?

"Harry, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Professor Dumbledoor, but how will I get a pair of Voldemort’s underpants when I don’t even know where the last horcrux is?

"Ginny, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Well, I think so, Harry, but if my brothers found out, you’d be the Boy-who’s-missing-his-wobbly-bits!

"Fred, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Wuh, I think so, George, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels.

"Ginny, Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Harry...we're already naked.

"Ron, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Harry, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the shrieking shack?

"My Dark Lord, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Lucius, but where are we going to find Wormtail, condoms, AND a Care Bear at this hour?

"Hagrid, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Uh, I think so Professor Snape, but this time, *you* wear the tutu.

"Padfoot, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so Prongs, the tail I can live with, but the fleas are murder!

"Mrs. Norris, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Um, I think so, Filch, but I don’t think Professor McGonagall likes me in *that *way.

"Won-Won, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Wuh, I think so, Lav-Lav, but burlap chafes me so.

"My Lord, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Lucius, but if we give peas a chance, won't the lima beans feel left out?

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Hagrid?"
Sure, Professor Flitwick, but how are we going to find dragon hide chaps in our size?

"Mrs. Norris, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Uh, I think so, Crookshanks, but we'll never get a Filch to wear the thong.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Draco?"
Uh... yeah, Blaise, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?

"Lucius, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Severus, but culottes have a tendency to ride up in the back.

"Ron, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Well, I think so, Hermione, but I still won’t memorize Hogwarts A History for you.

"Moody, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Albus, but me and Delores Umbridge! -- I mean, what would the children look like?

"Ron, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Harry, but this time *you* put the trousers on Mrs. Norris.

"Albus, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Minerva, but robes with horizontal stripes make me look chubby.

"Ron, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Well, I think so, Hermione, but leather is so uncomfortable in the summertime.

"George, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Fred, but isn't that the reason why Ginny perfected the Bat Bogey curse in the first place?

"Harry, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Uh, I think so, Draco, but I’m not allowed to wear my invisibility cloak in the prefects bathroom anymore.

"Snape, Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, My Dark Lord, but I can recommend a great anger-management counselor at St. Mungo’s.

"Harry, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Well, I think so Professor Lupin, but *how* are we going to make the Boggart belly-dance?

"Fred, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Um, I think so, George, but it's a miracle that *this* one grew back again.

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Professor Snape?"
Well, I think so, Miss. Granger, but *giggle* no, no, it's just too silly!

"Padfoot, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Moony, but if we get Sam Spade, we'll never have any puppies.

"Wormtail, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, my Lord, but how can we get Snape and Lucius to shave their legs and wear stilettos?

"My Lord, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Snape, but calling them Unforgivables? That’s just a tad extreme.

"Albus, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Minerva, but wouldn't anything lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

"Mollywobbles, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Well, I think so, Arthur dear, but I really don’t think they’ll open a Super Wal-mart in Diagon alley.

"Albus, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Minerva, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Cockroach Clusters?

"Lucius, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, my Lord, but it scares the other Death Eaters when you do nude karaoke at Death Eater meetings.

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Harry?"
I think so Professor Dumbledoor, but, umm, why would anyone pay to see Professor Snape in a musical?

"Harry, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Yes Oliver, but if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a broom?

"Luna, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Yes, I think so, Neville, but how will we get three Crumpledhorned Snorkacks into one pair of Capri pants?

"Hagrid, Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Umm, I think so, Harry, but what if the Buckbeak won't wear the condom?

"Ron, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
(Ron) Oh, I'd have to say the odds of that are terribly slim ‘Mione.
(Hermione) True…
(Ron) I mean, really, when have I *ever* been pondering what you've been pondering?
(Hermione) To my knowledge, never.
(Ron) Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I'm pondering what you're pondering?
(Hermoine) About the same as you reading Hogwarts, A History.
(Ron) Well, that's exactly what I'm thinking, too.
(Hermoine) Therefore, you *are* pondering what I'm pondering.
(Ron) Bloody Hell!! I guess I am!