I hate myself for loving you

So I"m thinking this will probably be just a quickie one shot... perhaps... this one is just for pure release *lol* Love - Esme
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It's dangerous being the object of Lucius Malfoys every desire...

She was dreaming of him again... he was between her thighs.. the friction in her cheeks... making her beg for it... lower herself, but everytime she swallowed her pride just to swallow his seed. She hated him... no she hated herself for loving him. The devil himself... Lucius Malfoy.

She was in the middle of a fantastic and orgasmic dream about him when she heard that familiar "pop" sound that could only mean one thing in the middle of the night : the devil was paying her a visit.

He quickly locked her door, threw up wards and silence charms... the whole 9 yards to ensure nobody would find out about what he was doing to his little witch. He set up her flat so that he could apparate into her bedroom whenever he wanted.

He divested himself of all clothing and climbed into her bed. She felt the familiar sink in the mattress as he stalked up her bed. She had been fucking him for years... ever since she took a job at the Ministry. He had set her up in her flat, made sure she was promoted and socialized through the ministry... he had bee so beneficial to her career but hell on the night gowns he shredded off of her. He made it so that he had access to her at all times, and through the years and had scared off the numerous suitors and lovers Hermione had acquired, and she had acquired many.

He had her under his thumb and they both knew it. She was his whore... and she loved the way he used her body. He had taken her heart and her pride away... but had kept their little romps a secret. At least he would respect confidentiality... even though he didn't respect hardly anything else in the world.

All the while she was a real bitch to him... and thats why he kept crawling back for more. Maybe he was just a real masochist at heart. She felt him draw the sheets over himself and settle next to her. "Don't pretend to do be sleeping beauty, dearest" as he slid her night gown up and caressed her thighs.

She played possum for a little more... trying to hold on to some resolve to resist him tonight. "Didn't you miss me?" She still held her breath and stayed rigidly still. Losing his patience he flipped her onto her back and bit into her neck violently.

She let out a yelp of pain. "ahh your awake... good" he pushed her night gown up past her hips and crushed his lips onto her mouth. "spread em'" he said gruffly. She shook her head in defiance. "Lets not go that route tonight... I'm tired and need a good fuck before I pass out". Hermione clenched her legs together harder "fuck you and fuck what you want... get your hands off me you bastard!!"

Lucius pressed his rock hard erection into her stomach and pinned her beneath him "I noticed you've been whoring around again... and with Potter of all people... and I know you do it just to make me jealous... isn't it all a little cliche?" Hermione's nipples ached for Lucius's attention under his powerful chest. "Correction, I'm fucking Harry because he's a good shag... and I'll fuck him again just to spite you" She said in a low breathy voice. She could see his jaw clench in rage... and it made her want to jump him right then in there.

He slid his hands up her night gown and rubbed her hard nipples roughly. "Stop! I'm not in the mood to have some vile death eater's hands all over me tonight". Lucius anger flared in his silver eyes that shone in the moonlight. "you will spread your whore legs and let me sink myself into your cunt you little bitch!" "Fuck you!" and she slapped him as hard as she could across his wickedly handsome face.

Lucius lost all patience and ripped the night gown off of her. He grabbed her wrists in one hand above her head and tried to pry her legs open with the other hand. Hermione fought against him with all she could muster, but he was far too strong.

He pried her legs open and slinked a long callused finger inside of her. He waisted no time and rubbed her clit with his thumb while he pumped his fingers into her. "for resisting me so much your practically soaking the sheets, is my little mudblood in need of a good hard fuck too?" She tried biting his arm but all her strength gave out when Lucius took her entire tit into his mouth, he thrust his fingers deep into her and her muscles gave a forceful spasm around his fingers, coaxing them in deeper. She had a mind blowing orgasm within minutes of him climbing into her bed.. what other man could make her body sing like that?

Lucius removed his hand from her pussy and licked his fingers clean before thrusting himself fully into her. The sudden force of his large cock jamming into her core still sent tiny aches through her, and she arched her back as he relentlessly fucked her. He slammed into her over and over again until his breathing was uneven and Hermione was quaking beneath him. He pulled her legs up and rested them on his shoulders to get deeper inside her. He trailed kisses down her legs and thighs.

She grabbed the ornate headboard to keep her steady as she met Lucius thrust for thrust "fuck me! fuck me fuck me!!" she chanted over and over to him. It was like music to his ears and he gripped her hips hard enough to bruise them while he drove his tongue over her nipples, he loved the way her tits bounced into his mouth when he fucked her so hard she couldn't absorb the pounding away at her pussy. She could feel her walls tightening around him as he hit that sweet spot deep deep inside of her. No other man could satisfy her like he could.

"who can fuck you better than I can?" Lucius said between pants. Hermione always found she was most compliant when he had her on the verge of physical collapse from orgasms. "nobody" she screamed as she raked her blood red painted finger nails down his back Lucius growled in satisfaction "Say it!" Hermione just moaned louder and turned her face away from him, not wanting to give in just yet... she wanted him for longer... as long as she could get.

Lucius pumped deeper into her watching her tits bounce vigorously, hitting that sweet spot over and over as he rubbed her clit furiously. Hermione was almost in hysterics from the sensation, her legs and hips were going into spasms. Lucius grabbed her throat and was cutting off some of her air as he forced her to look into his eyes as he pumped even faster into her. "SAY IT!" She stared him down and felt him pound her sweet spot, without her knowing it she screamed out his name. "Lucius!! YES!!! harder! Lucius fuck me! fuck me! I love you... Lucius! Oh god I'm coming.... she felt her juices coat his cock and run down her thighs and ass, she saw stars when he released his grip on her throat and she screamed his name as she came.

He exploded inside of her as she could feel his seed fill her and run out onto her lips. He stayed inside of her and lay fully on top of her.. panting. "Don't pull out" she said as she stroked his hair and he nuzzled his head into her tits. She wrapped her legs around his hips and milked his cock with her pussy walls. Lucius couldn't raise his face from her soft breasts... and when he got his breath back he muffled into her skin "Why did you say that Hermione?"

She knew what he meant.. but was surprised at herself for even saying those three little words. "because... I do" Lucius could not still his heart from pounding through his chest, had she meant it? I love.. of course she didn't... she was just muttering things in the midst of an orgasm... but she had never said it before. Hermione could see the shock settle over his elegant features. "isn't it obvious? she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"though I hate myself for loving you...but why else would I be your kept whore for the past 3 years? I know you can't be faithful.. your married for Merlins sake... but still I let you keep me under glass for so long... I know I"m your play thing.. but I can't find the strength to leave"

Lucius rested his chin between her breasts and looked at her piercingly "I should stop you there... I have been faithful to you since the day I slid between your sheets... if I left Narcissa she would ruin me... you may think I fuck every witch that lays eyes on me but I haven't been able to look at another witch since I met you... I can't get you out of my head... I thought at first if I fucked you enough you would leave my thoughts and dreams... instead it's only intensified my need of you... you are free to go at any time... but I think you know just as well as I... no one else will do... nothing will erase you from my mind, I shower you with gifts, almost give you my own job and protect you from harm because I fear for your safety above all others.

Hermione sighed heavily "than why can't you say it?!" Lucius untangled himself from her "please let me have some dignity... I know it won't be returned... I know I didn't earn it, instead I bought your love and kept you tied up... I don't deserve it... so why waste my breath?"

Hermione could feel the tears well up in her eyes as she rolled over and tried to go to sleep, she knew she shouldn't have pushed him.. it was the closest she had him to revealing his feelings for her. She knew it was dirty how she thought if she was a good enough fuck he would maybe keep her around... maybe even love her.. but she knew she already owned his heart... but he would not let it fall from his lips... She felt him roll onto his back and she could almost picture him peacefully sleeping... she knew it would break her heart to get only this.. but if this was it... she would have to take it.

The next morning Hermione woke up with the sun in her eyes. She glanced down and Lucius was fast asleep. The sun splashing over his gorgeous blonde hair, he was like his own light source... the way he emanated light... she saw his eyes darting under the lids, maybe he was having a nightmare... but she saw it plain as day under the covers.. his thick long cock was getting hard.

She gently pulled the covers off to stare at him without him knowing... she wanted to worship his body and make love to him... instead of the rough and punishing sex they were known for. She longed for a gentle touch... she caught site of his semi hard cock and it made her mouth water.

Hermione quietly knelt between his legs and took his length in her hand and brought the tip to her lips. She placed a light and gentle kiss on the tip before slowly licking him, enjoying his taste and her taste still on him... she loved the velvety feel of him inside her mouth. She licked him like a sucker, but slow, she was savoring him. He was fully erect now... she wanted him to know just how much she loved him... even though he may never feel worthy of it... she would make him feel worthy she thought as she placed the head of his cock in her mouth.

Lucius could feel her silken tongue on his cock, slowly working him to full erection. She had never been so gentle and slow when she sucked him before... she was always so eager to swallow his seed... but this felt like heaven... like she just enjoyed sucking his cock, like the way she enjoyed reading a good book he mused. He slowly peeked down at her and almost gasped at how beautiful she looked.

Her tits were resting on his thighs and he could feel her loose honey brown curls tickle his thighs with every lick of her tongue. She had her eyes closed, she looked like she was meditating or praying the way her face looked so angelic and peaceful. She looked like she enjoyed the taste of him.. licking him so slowly. For once Lucius didn't feel like thrusting himself into her.. sinking himself into the oblivion only she could give him... he wanted her to open herself up to him...

He saw the tip of his cock enter her mouth and painfully slow slid him into her mouth, he wondered how far she would take him before sliding him back out. She kept going... further down, stopping to adjust her mouth around his large cock, slowly lapping the bottom of his cock with her tongue. She kept going to his amazement... her mouth felt like heaven to him... slowly sliding down onto him until he felt the back of her throat. He saw himself in her cheeks, and could feel her slowly sucking him down her throat.

He saw her head bob slowly up and down his shaft, only moving mere centimeters never losing contact with the back of her throat. He loved the contact and could feel her retract a little when he went to far and she gagged ever so slightly... she almost seemed to enjoy gagging... it made her mouth water more. She sucked him deep and slow for a very long time, just keeping him from climax.

When she overcame her gag reflex and kept him down her throat for a very long time, not moving.. eyes closed just gently sucking him he moaned loudly. Her eyes shot open and locked onto his.
She looked scared or caught, he calmed her by stroking her hair.

She relaxed into his touch, she sucked on him deep in her throat with her eyes locked onto his. He shuddered at this angel in his lap. She moaned a little when he hit the roof of her mouth. She slowly started to bob up and down on him again, her eyes closed, she looked like she was in heaven... Lucius could feel himself building.. the tension inside him increasing... she cupped his balls and lapped her tongue on the bottom of his cock while sliding him down the back of her throat. She was holding him there while he exploded down her throat, she sucked urgently with her throat and looked him square in the eye with a look of pure satisfaction.

Lucius shuddered and felt the last of his seed slip down her throat... "Hermione I love you"