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Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Remus/Sirius
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,096
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Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Remus/Sirius
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,096
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Why?
Pairing: Sirius/Remus, Remus/Tonks
Archive: Just ask.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, and all other characters from the popular series are the sole ownership of J.K. Rowling and like all other authors, I'm merely borrowing them for my own satisfaction. Enjoy.
Warning: Spoilers for HBP!!!
The last happy memory Remus has is from the morning of THAT day. It had been a muggy morning, the type where most people elected to stay in their comfortable beds. Even more if one had a lover, and then more when that lover had been missing from the circle of one’s arms for an endless time frame.
There’d been nothing particularly special about that morning, except that he’d woken to arms around him, and a steady heart beating beneath his ear. Looking up, he blinked sleepy eyes at a wide smile. A smile he’d seen every morning when they were young. A smile he’d physically ached for all these years.
He’d given a muddled sound in response to the cheery, throaty, “’Morning.” Burying his face in the warm, spiced skin, and pressing his closed eyes to the slender neck. Sirius had chuckled, affectionately calling him a “Sleepy Bugger.” He’d hummed and stroked over that too thin chest. Fingers trailing over protruding ribs delicately and causing a soft intake of breath.
Sirius had always been a morning person, and even the most casual, sluggish touch could elicit his ardor. He’d always claimed to be ‘an easy morning lay’. Remus had laughed when they were teenagers. Had explored it when they were young adults. After everything…he’d just been tired.
“Mmmm…Can’t you just cuddle for once in your life?” he’d mumbled into that sweet skin. Sirius had laughed, stroked a hand over his side and murmured in his ear, “Not when you do that.”
“I didn’t do anything,” he’d argued.
“Of course you didn’t,” Sirius had replied, nipping at his ear.
But that morning, they’d cuddled.
Twelve hours later Remus had stood at the foot of the bed, staring over it, one hand clutching at a bedpost. He could still smell him, fresh on the sheets. Comfy warm and safe. He’d stared for hours. Stared all night; unable to move any closer.
Tonks had wandered in, placed a hand to his shoulder and squeezed. “It’ll be all right, Remus.”
He’d spent the next five hours sobbing himself sick.
Two weeks later, Tonks had wondered in. He was finishing packing up. Not that he’d need anything. Not with his new assignment.
“Need help?”
“No, thank you.”
“Remus…It’ll be all right.”
He’d sniffed, held the box close and walked out before her smell marred the last lingering remnants of the lost part of his soul.
She’d been present at his first report to the Order. After he’d finished, she’d followed him out.
“Remus, are you feeling any better?”
He wanted to snap at her, really he did. He wanted to snap at everyone now a days. Instead, he pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, squeezed, and exhaled carefully. “Yes, thank you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m going to be late.”
“…All right….Be safe.”
He’d bitten back a snort. Safe. He no longer cared about safe. There was there and there was here. And Sirius was neither. There was no need for ‘safe’.
Every time after, she’d asked the same question, and eventually, he’d grown weary of it. So weary in fact, that he answered and didn’t bother to leave the room. Tonks had taken it to mean he’d been opening up and would start random conversations. But they never lasted long. She always made a mistake.
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Run off like that!”
“I don’t ‘run off’ anywhere.”
“Well…I-…I hope you know, you’re…not alone. You know that, don’t you, Remus?”
“Of course,” he’d replied, and walked out.
“I love you.”
He stared, actually turning all the way around. Eyes looking up to meet hers slowly.
“Excuse me?”
“I love you Remus.”
“I-…I’m going to be late.”
But she’d persisted.
“Why not?”
“Because.”
“Because isn’t an answer, Remus.”
“It was enough for Sirius.”
“I’m not Sirius.”
“No. You’re not.”
Stolen moments that left him feeling betrayed. And yet she persisted. Long silences, where he couldn’t even think. She’d fill them up with her arguments.
“No,” he’d say.
“Why?”
“Because.”
“Because isn’t an answer!”
“I don’t want to talk about this!”
“That’s better. At least that’s an answer!”
And she persisted.
“I’m not afraid.”
“You should be.”
“No. There’s no reason to be.”
“There’s every reason to be.”
And persisted.
“I’m dangerous.”
“Once a month.”
“I’m still a deadly creature that ‘once a month’.”
“You wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Don’t be naïve.”
“You never hurt Sirius.”
No, he hadn’t.
“Why?”
“Tonks, we’ve been over this.”
“No! You’ve been over this! We never go over this!”
“It’s never going to happen.”
He’d never thought he’d see her flinch.
“Remus, please.”
He sighed, too weary now.
“It doesn’t matter to me. I want to be with you.”
“You don’t know what you want.”
“Don’t tell me what I want, Remus!”
“You don’t want me.”
“Yes I do.”
She persisted.
“Just try it. Please. Just once.”
He’d been silent.
“Just once. I’ll never bother you again after, I swear!”
He’d looked across the room, stared at nothing. Thought of too much. She’d kissed him. Once. And again.
“You shouldn’t be alone…Moony…”
He’d pushed away weakly, but she’d persisted.
“Come on, Moony…”
“Stop it.”
“I thought this’d make you more comfortable,” she purred, a familiar timbre, a different warmth.
“It doesn’t.”
“I’ll do anything to be with you, Remus. I want to be with you.”
He’d fallen back, exhausted, and she’d taken the advantage. Climbing up over him. “I can do it, you know,” she’d said, straddling him. “I’m that good.” A kiss to his jaw. “When I want to be.”
“No.”
She’d smiled, perhaps interpreting it improperly. He hadn’t bothered to correct her.
She’d made all manner of unfamiliar noises as she writhed above him. He’d felt all kinds of sensations, laying prone beneath her.
“Come on Remus…Don’t make me do all the work.”
He’d looked away, and fingered the lacing hanging off the coffee table.
He couldn’t be sure what’d made her do it. Perhaps, a need to feel loved. Even if just for those few moments.
“Moony…Look at me…”
Turned his face, caressing his cheek and drawing his eyes up.
“Sirius,” he moaned, arching up and closing his eyes.
“Mmm…” Tonks replied.
“Padfoot…Oh Gods…”
“That’s it Remus…” she’d gasped, as his hips snapped up. “Yes…Like that…”
“…..Miss you…Miss you so….”
“Shh…”
“Sirius…Padfoot….”
A familiar hand, with an unmatching scent, stroked the tears from his cheeks in a new way. His hands grabbed shifting hips tightly, bruises flowering slowly beneath his palms.
“Oh God…”
“Yes…Yes…”
“God…”
Thin fingers trailed down his sternum, in the entirely wrong pattern.
“Please…”
“I’m here…”
“I need you!”
“I know…Oh…”
“I miss you...God…come back to me…”
“Shh…”
“Please, please….please…”
“Remus-”
“I love you…Sirius!”
She’d been quiet afterward.
He’d felt betrayed. Couldn’t scrub it off fast enough, leaving himself raw and bleeding. Palms splayed and body heavy, leaning into the pounding water.
“Why?”
“Because-”
“That’s not an answer!”
“You didn’t let me finish.”
Why?
“Because, I still love him.”
Archive: Just ask.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, and all other characters from the popular series are the sole ownership of J.K. Rowling and like all other authors, I'm merely borrowing them for my own satisfaction. Enjoy.
Warning: Spoilers for HBP!!!
The last happy memory Remus has is from the morning of THAT day. It had been a muggy morning, the type where most people elected to stay in their comfortable beds. Even more if one had a lover, and then more when that lover had been missing from the circle of one’s arms for an endless time frame.
There’d been nothing particularly special about that morning, except that he’d woken to arms around him, and a steady heart beating beneath his ear. Looking up, he blinked sleepy eyes at a wide smile. A smile he’d seen every morning when they were young. A smile he’d physically ached for all these years.
He’d given a muddled sound in response to the cheery, throaty, “’Morning.” Burying his face in the warm, spiced skin, and pressing his closed eyes to the slender neck. Sirius had chuckled, affectionately calling him a “Sleepy Bugger.” He’d hummed and stroked over that too thin chest. Fingers trailing over protruding ribs delicately and causing a soft intake of breath.
Sirius had always been a morning person, and even the most casual, sluggish touch could elicit his ardor. He’d always claimed to be ‘an easy morning lay’. Remus had laughed when they were teenagers. Had explored it when they were young adults. After everything…he’d just been tired.
“Mmmm…Can’t you just cuddle for once in your life?” he’d mumbled into that sweet skin. Sirius had laughed, stroked a hand over his side and murmured in his ear, “Not when you do that.”
“I didn’t do anything,” he’d argued.
“Of course you didn’t,” Sirius had replied, nipping at his ear.
But that morning, they’d cuddled.
Twelve hours later Remus had stood at the foot of the bed, staring over it, one hand clutching at a bedpost. He could still smell him, fresh on the sheets. Comfy warm and safe. He’d stared for hours. Stared all night; unable to move any closer.
Tonks had wandered in, placed a hand to his shoulder and squeezed. “It’ll be all right, Remus.”
He’d spent the next five hours sobbing himself sick.
Two weeks later, Tonks had wondered in. He was finishing packing up. Not that he’d need anything. Not with his new assignment.
“Need help?”
“No, thank you.”
“Remus…It’ll be all right.”
He’d sniffed, held the box close and walked out before her smell marred the last lingering remnants of the lost part of his soul.
She’d been present at his first report to the Order. After he’d finished, she’d followed him out.
“Remus, are you feeling any better?”
He wanted to snap at her, really he did. He wanted to snap at everyone now a days. Instead, he pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, squeezed, and exhaled carefully. “Yes, thank you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m going to be late.”
“…All right….Be safe.”
He’d bitten back a snort. Safe. He no longer cared about safe. There was there and there was here. And Sirius was neither. There was no need for ‘safe’.
Every time after, she’d asked the same question, and eventually, he’d grown weary of it. So weary in fact, that he answered and didn’t bother to leave the room. Tonks had taken it to mean he’d been opening up and would start random conversations. But they never lasted long. She always made a mistake.
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Run off like that!”
“I don’t ‘run off’ anywhere.”
“Well…I-…I hope you know, you’re…not alone. You know that, don’t you, Remus?”
“Of course,” he’d replied, and walked out.
“I love you.”
He stared, actually turning all the way around. Eyes looking up to meet hers slowly.
“Excuse me?”
“I love you Remus.”
“I-…I’m going to be late.”
But she’d persisted.
“Why not?”
“Because.”
“Because isn’t an answer, Remus.”
“It was enough for Sirius.”
“I’m not Sirius.”
“No. You’re not.”
Stolen moments that left him feeling betrayed. And yet she persisted. Long silences, where he couldn’t even think. She’d fill them up with her arguments.
“No,” he’d say.
“Why?”
“Because.”
“Because isn’t an answer!”
“I don’t want to talk about this!”
“That’s better. At least that’s an answer!”
And she persisted.
“I’m not afraid.”
“You should be.”
“No. There’s no reason to be.”
“There’s every reason to be.”
And persisted.
“I’m dangerous.”
“Once a month.”
“I’m still a deadly creature that ‘once a month’.”
“You wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Don’t be naïve.”
“You never hurt Sirius.”
No, he hadn’t.
“Why?”
“Tonks, we’ve been over this.”
“No! You’ve been over this! We never go over this!”
“It’s never going to happen.”
He’d never thought he’d see her flinch.
“Remus, please.”
He sighed, too weary now.
“It doesn’t matter to me. I want to be with you.”
“You don’t know what you want.”
“Don’t tell me what I want, Remus!”
“You don’t want me.”
“Yes I do.”
She persisted.
“Just try it. Please. Just once.”
He’d been silent.
“Just once. I’ll never bother you again after, I swear!”
He’d looked across the room, stared at nothing. Thought of too much. She’d kissed him. Once. And again.
“You shouldn’t be alone…Moony…”
He’d pushed away weakly, but she’d persisted.
“Come on, Moony…”
“Stop it.”
“I thought this’d make you more comfortable,” she purred, a familiar timbre, a different warmth.
“It doesn’t.”
“I’ll do anything to be with you, Remus. I want to be with you.”
He’d fallen back, exhausted, and she’d taken the advantage. Climbing up over him. “I can do it, you know,” she’d said, straddling him. “I’m that good.” A kiss to his jaw. “When I want to be.”
“No.”
She’d smiled, perhaps interpreting it improperly. He hadn’t bothered to correct her.
She’d made all manner of unfamiliar noises as she writhed above him. He’d felt all kinds of sensations, laying prone beneath her.
“Come on Remus…Don’t make me do all the work.”
He’d looked away, and fingered the lacing hanging off the coffee table.
He couldn’t be sure what’d made her do it. Perhaps, a need to feel loved. Even if just for those few moments.
“Moony…Look at me…”
Turned his face, caressing his cheek and drawing his eyes up.
“Sirius,” he moaned, arching up and closing his eyes.
“Mmm…” Tonks replied.
“Padfoot…Oh Gods…”
“That’s it Remus…” she’d gasped, as his hips snapped up. “Yes…Like that…”
“…..Miss you…Miss you so….”
“Shh…”
“Sirius…Padfoot….”
A familiar hand, with an unmatching scent, stroked the tears from his cheeks in a new way. His hands grabbed shifting hips tightly, bruises flowering slowly beneath his palms.
“Oh God…”
“Yes…Yes…”
“God…”
Thin fingers trailed down his sternum, in the entirely wrong pattern.
“Please…”
“I’m here…”
“I need you!”
“I know…Oh…”
“I miss you...God…come back to me…”
“Shh…”
“Please, please….please…”
“Remus-”
“I love you…Sirius!”
She’d been quiet afterward.
He’d felt betrayed. Couldn’t scrub it off fast enough, leaving himself raw and bleeding. Palms splayed and body heavy, leaning into the pounding water.
“Why?”
“Because-”
“That’s not an answer!”
“You didn’t let me finish.”
Why?
“Because, I still love him.”