Why We Build Castles In The Sky

A/N: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. I do not own the song "Castles In The Sky" by Ian Van Dahl.


Why We Build Castles In The Sky



The air was invigorating this afternoon; the warmth of the sun hugged the students strolling around along the grounds of Hogwarts School... it left a pleasant feeling with them. The way the breeze danced across their skin could send a rush of satisfaction and ease throughout anyone who felt it, like one would be entranced immediately by such a condition that particular day held.

A young boy came into view, yet for so young, he looked beaten down. His school robes that he wore were patched and frayed, and in his hair you could see tiny strands of silvery gray amongst a mass of golden brown. But the look in his eyes that he had at the moment could trick the way he appeared easily, for it had this glow. Like not a soul could be happier than he. He was beaming; along to match the joyous state of his eyes.

Remus Lupin dipped his bare feet into the cool water of the lake. This was his favorite spot among any of the spots in the grounds. He was amazed at his own calmness and daring and to be appearing this carefree, for what he was waiting for was a big deal to him. Yet he could not hide the broad smile that continued to illuminate his face as he watched the sun glitter against the ripples his ankles were creating in the vast pool of water.

He breathed a sigh, but the sigh was not caused from exhaustion or something of the like... it was for being trapped in the sort of castle in the sky his mind kept replaying for him and adoring it immensely. He barely noticed the footsteps that could be heard thumping lightly into the grass behind him with each step taken.

Another boy was walking along the grounds towards Remus. This boy’s expression–which could be seen hidden beneath a layer of shoulder-length jet black hair–was that of unease. He was dressed in dark black robes, which were kept more immaculate than Remus’s but still not with too much concern. He was breathing anxiously, his eyes locked on the boy in front of him, who had his backside towards him. He approached carefully, pace by pace, awaiting the step that became audible to the boy who was sitting at the lake’s edge.

Remus felt the ground shuddering lightly below him, behind him. He turned his body, removing his feet from the water up onto the grass to face the new individual. He beamed at the sight of Severus Snape.

Severus returned the smile feebly. There was so much going on in his head right now. He gave a small wave of his hand and stopped in his tracks, standing there awkwardly.

Remus had written Severus a note that very morning, telling Severus to meet him there by the lake around midday. He saw that morning in his thoughts...


* * *


He had gone up from the dungeons intending to eat his breakfast and was making his way across the Entrance Hall to the Great Hall when a barn owl had swooped down out of nowhere and dropped a letter in Severus’s head.

He cursed at the thing and picked up the letter, which had fallen to the ground. Severus questioned its contents. ‘Who would be writing to me?’ He thought, ‘No one writes to me...’ His brain added as he let out a gloomy sigh.

He turned the envelope over in his hands and saw, scribbled across the top of it, the untidy handwriting of none other than Remus Lupin. This added to the confusion he had already received. Not only was someone writing to him, but this was someone who was best friends with the two people he hated the most in this world; Sirius Black and James Potter could be seen laughing and talking animatedly with Remus all the time–that is if Remus wasn’t already studying. Come to think of it, Lupin had always stayed his distance when the two were causing trouble... which usually involved them bullying Severus himself.

Severus let out a small “hmph!” at the thought of this and turned the letter over, carefully tearing the seal with his thumb. He pulled the letter out of the envelope and cast a glance along the hall. It was deserted except for a few Ravenclaws at the far end who looked keen to get to breakfast. He stalked away and entered a corridor in which he was half-concealed in shadows. He opened the letter and his eyes began to scan the parchment.

Severus,
You must think this is odd for me to be writing you like this... but I have a lot to say to you. I noticed--I don’t know if you have--but I realized what we have here.
I knew right away... all the times our eyes have met daily, the smiles we exchange towards one another, the way your arm grazes mine more then normal when we are seated next to each other. I just thought you’d be the one to contact me first, but I couldn’t stand it much longer, so I made the move.
I fear there could be a chance that I’m wrong here, and–if that be the case then I want you to dispose of this letter and forget all about it please, as no one knows about this. About me and who I am.
But I cannot deny that I have feelings towards you, Severus. Each day I find myself thinking about you endlessly. I want to be with you, share a life. Do you feel the same as I? Do you even know if you are like me... different from the others?
If I am right about this, please meet me out on the grounds after breakfast. I’ll be sitting on the lake’s edge over by the bushes waiting.

Sincerely,
Remus Lupin


Do you ever question your life?


Severus swallowed. So, the werewolf thought they shared feelings towards each other–feelings of affection? Severus looked away from the letter in bitterness. He let out a small laugh of disbelief. Then, suddenly, a frown played along his face and he knew.

They did share it.


* * *


“Severus?” A small voice called.

Severus left his thoughts abruptly and stared down at the boy by the lake. Remus was still smiling, but he looked concerned as well.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

Severus nodded. But he wasn’t. This suddenly seemed so out of place, the way Remus was smiling frightened him. He just couldn’t be... different.


Do you ever wonder why?


But then how come whenever he saw Remus roaming the halls inside the school he had these bursts occurring inside of him–like there were things dancing in the pit of his stomach? Why, when they made unintentional physical contact, did it send such a reaction of chills up his spine? Why had he come here?

Remus stopped smiling at the sight of Severus. He got up and made his way towards Severus, his arms reaching out intending to comfort. Severus swatted them away viciously.

“Leave me alone!” He snapped through tears that were freshly brimming his eyes. “Just go away... please.” He whispered.

“I know it’s hard... I had doubts myself about who I was.” Remus began, compassion in his words.

“I’m–not–like–you!” Severus hissed through clenched teeth, “I can’t be like you.” A tear crept down his pale cheek.

Remus felt hurt by these words... he had pictured Severus coming over here in raised spirits. Here to take him away... all his dreams of what could be had been extinguished by this reaction. This is what he got for him and his fantasies–hurt.

“Well then why are you here?” Remus spat coldly. “Tell me why you’re here then if you do not feel like I feel!”

Snape stood there, more tears streaming down his young face. He was trembling. He denied every thought that tried to get into his head. He did not feel like Remus. He wasn’t gay.


Do you ever see in your dreams, all the castles in the sky?


“Do you see me in your thoughts as I do with you constantly?” Remus said, his voice shaking all over.

Severus continued to stare. He shook his head in more denial, new tears forming in his eyes.

Remus could not accept this as the truth. He had to be right... he just had to. His heart couldn’t take it if he wasn’t.

“P-Please tell me you feel like me...” He pleaded with every ounce of hope he still had left. “I f-feel your arms around me at night. I think of you smiling at me after a cool autumn’s walk. I dream of you... kissing me... and it feels... and it feels...”

“...Incredible.” Severus choked. He lost control of himself just then... he was different and he could deny it no longer. He couldn’t hide it from Remus; he couldn’t even mask it anymore.

He was gay.

The two boys met in a tight embrace, tears spilled down their eyes. Severus couldn’t help but notice how Remus felt so right in his arms. He held the boy closer to him, his hand bringing Remus’s head into his shoulder. The soft, brown hair felt like silk in his fingertips. He began stroking it slowly and gently. How could he have been the one to make such an innocent creature cry just because of his rampant denial? He felt disgusted with himself as he felt Remus give a small tremble of a sob on his shoulder.

“It’s okay...” Severus whispered, stroking gently still. “I’m sorry. It’s okay. I’m here now, and I dream about us every night before I fall asleep and even when I am asleep.”

Remus looked up at him, his eyes tear-filled, and wrapped his arms around Severus’s neck.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to just... touch you like this? I’ve been so alone... I’ve obsessed over thoughts of us together for the past two years.”

Severus nodded slowly.

“I’ve been shutting all the feelings out... but when I saw what you wrote, or when you tell me about these dreams, I can’t refuse the feelings it any longer. Because I have them too.”

Remus looked up into his eyes, wiping the tears from his own face and giving a small sniff. “I knew it.” He breathed, a smile shining through his features.

Severus smiled as well. He placed his hands upon Remus’s face, all uncomfort and doubts forgotten.

He kissed his beautiful, and he could have sworn that they were floating as soon as their lips met, far far away... towards the clouds in the sky.