This Is What I Am

DISCLAIMER: Warning ! I make no claim to any property of J.K Rowling\'s, and am in no way profiting by this. I do offer her my sincerest thanks for allowing us this garden of the mind in which we play. Further Warning! This story...and likely any I ever write..are dominated by gay themes and characters. That\'s how it is, if this in any way makes you uncomfortable...do not read further.

\"This Is What I Am.\"


It had been over a year since they\'d met. They had endured many trials, but still had a love that bloomed brightly, and shone for all to see. They knew more about each other than anyone else had ever known about either of them. Even the closest of couples have differences that make them complement one another perfectly. In differences lie conflict, and from conflict comes growth. Understanding the importance and depth of these differences is the challenge... and that realm is where this story lies.

Draco was stark naked and on his knees, his back almost impossibly arched with pleasure, allowing his lover deeper entry into him. Harry\'s right hand was on the back of Draco\'s neck, and his left hand was on Draco\'s hip, holding his lover steady while he thrust violently into him from behind. Draco\'s squeals and moans were only marginally muffled by the pillow his face was buried in, and his lithe body periodically spasmed and shuddered with ecstacy, as his beloved pounded into him like an unrelenting greased piston.

Their coupling was far more savage than usual, owed to the little argument they were making up for. It hadn\'t been much. Just a miscommunication that worked its way into a real row, but in the aftermath of high emotions, their lovemaking took a frantic, nearly vicious pace. Harry was notoriously well hung, and though he\'d only had one sexual partner in his entire life, his time in the close confines of Hogwarts dorms meant that many had seen the rampant evidence of his manhood. It wasn\'t anything Harry was personally all that proud of, but it was, somewhat perversely, Draco\'s pride and joy.

Its length was only fairly surprising, a modest measure more than average, but its thickness was almost improbable, which, for anyone less experienced than the (former) \'Slut Of Slytherin\', might have proved problematical. For Draco, however, it proved to be a heaven sent blessing. He surrendered himself utterly; truly pliant, scarcely a muscle tensed, even as his body was sundered by that enormous prick, save for those periodic moments when he would suddenly come to orgasm and spatter the sheets beneath him, all the while crying out various oaths and curses, as well as his lover\'s name. Harry\'s grip occasionally slackened, and for just a minute his pace would falter, while he groaned and shook as he came, flooding Draco\'s body with yet another tide of his seed. Then, as he regained his composure, his pace would begin anew, every bit as solid and fierce as before.

These long sessions were nothing new to Draco. Over the last year with Harry, circumstances had prepared him well for lengthy rounds of lovemaking, but this one had been truly wild, even by their fairly advanced standards. They\'d made up over dinner, and that had been almost four and half hours ago. Subtracting the time they had taken lavishing each other with kisses, it had been almost four straight hours of brutal, full contact, no-holds-barred sex.

His body had begun to thrum and throb and tingle in odd places at random, and he felt as if he\'d had too much drink despite being sober. After the fourth time he\'d come, he\'d utterly lost track of time, himself, or any sense of anything... except the perfection of his boyfriend behind him and inside him, or the constant battering of his prostate that sent waves of pleasure through him. At this point he was almost intoxicated on sex alone, and Harry showed no signs of slowing down or quitting! Both their bodies were slick with sweat, and despite the length of time they\'d been at it, lubricant was no longer necessary, largely because of the phenomenal amount of come Harry had released into Draco\'s body.

Harry\'s breath was like a bellows, and his eyes shone with an intensity that was born of the near desperation to prove his love... by making Draco come one last time before Harry relented. In the hazy fog of his mind, Draco could feel Harry nearing another climax and moved his body subtly in preparation. He was always excited by the sense of his lover\'s pleasure in him, and he often let that excitement bring him to the edge of orgasm, sometimes even simultaneously with Harry. Any attempt at controlling himself was pointless when Harry shifted slightly and drove deeply into him, leaving him screaming and shuddering while he went over the top... followed a few seconds later by Harry\'s final, savage thrusts, before the hot jettings of Harry\'s loins filled him for the final time.

Harry collapsed onto Draco\'s back, kissing his neck and whispering his affections into Draco\'s ear. He stroked Draco\'s sweat and seed drenched back idly while catching his breath. Draco was in a state of near shock, traditionally sex left him energized and happy, but while he was definitely happy... he was utterly exhausted, so spent he could barely move or speak. Gods, the things that Harry made him feel! He\'d never imagined that anyone could so routinely strip him of any sense of control. Even as a bottom, he had always dominated his previous sexual partners, making them serve his appetite for sex as he wished them to... until Harry. His woolgathering was suddenly interrupted by the realization that Harry was speaking to him. \"Draco, love? Are you alright... can you say something... are you okay, baby?\" There was a growing note of concern in Harry voice.

Draco tilted his head to the side and looked into Harry\'s worried eyes, then gave an almost girlish giggle. \"I\'m a lot more than okay, love... you just shagged the sense out of me for a bit. You\'re a fucking miracle, Harry James Potter.\"

Harry looked relieved, and leaned forward to kiss him, soft and slow, then ran his hands through Draco\'s thoroughly mussed hair. \"Here I thought I was the one who looked sexy with mussed hair. Outshone by Draco Malfoy again.\"

Harry stretched and attempted to stand on wobbly legs, fighting dizziness that nearly overtook him while Draco snickered at his efforts. \"That\'s why I\'m not moving, love... at least not until I have my wits back. Might be a bit yet, though.\" Harry smiled at that, then suddenly blanched white as a sheet, his mouth a rictus of horror and shock. He pointed to Draco\'s backside, stammering and gaping. Draco felt a creeping sense of wrongness, just from the look on Harry\'s face. \"What is it, love? I said I was fine.\"

\"Draco, you... you\'re... you\'re bleeding. Holy shite! I mean fucking hell... what have I done?!\" Harry was in shock and rambling, so Draco looked back expecting the worst, and after taking a cloth from the nightstand by their bed, he wiped the rather seriously tender area with a wince, then looked at the results. Nothing all that awful, just a ridiculous amount of Harry\'s come leaking from him and a few spots and smears of crimson. It was something he was used to... and had discreetly covered for by quickly using Cleaning Spells and occasional Healing Spells after sex. The world of tops was a world of safe illusion, but the world of bottoms was one of realism and a certain amount of tasteful secrecy.

\"Harry, it\'s nothing... really... I can\'t believe how worked up you get over a little blood. Honestly! I\'m just fine... great actually. Just relax.\"

Harry got on his knees beside the bed, his green eyes misted slightly with tears and his face faintly lined with worry. \"You act like that\'s nothing?! I hurt you... I mean... dammit, you\'re bleeding, I was too rough, wasn\'t I? I didn\'t mean to... to... hurt you... I won\'t...\"

Draco cut Harry off right there. \"HARRY, I absolutely forbid you to do even one thing different. Sit right there until I get back from the bathroom, we need to talk about this... it\'s probably long overdue.\" Draco rose from the bed, attempting to appear nonchalant, but this was undermined by the wobbliness of his knees and a distinct limp that came from the effort of holding in the small ocean of Harry\'s come that was waiting for freedom from his own sore and tingling bum. He took his wand with him, and as soon as the door was closed he dropped a swift Silence Spell about the room, sat comfortably on the toilet and let go of what felt like a lifetime\'s worth of Harry\'s spent seed. Then he uttered a mild Healing Spell, and a few localized Scourgifies. All told, it had taken less than three or four minutes to rid himself of any evidence of harm or mess. The weak knees, however, remained. On the way out of the bathroom, Draco couldn\'t help thinking that he\'d struck a goldmine the day he fell in love with Harry; the man was a perfect sweet heart, but a demon straight from hell in the sack!

\"Okay... Harry... I really am just fine, but sometimes I don\'t tell you about these things because I thought they\'d just upset you.\" It was a good start, but Harry interrupted immediately.

\"You mean I\'ve hurt you before... Merlin! Draco! I am so sorry... you should have told me... I swear I\'d never...\"

\"HARRY... shut it! That is an order! When I\'m done explaining, you can ask questions, but right now you don\'t know what you\'re talking about. Just trust me love... please?\"

\"All... alright. Go ahead.\" Harry acquiesced.

\"I should start this by telling you that I love you very much, but when we started this together, I knew you didn\'t have any prior experience with other guys. If you had, you might have known about this stuff before now, but I kind of liked that you didn\'t know. It\'s all perfect to you, but it\'s a little different for me. I should have told you sooner, but I swear I really didn\'t know how. For starters, sex isn\'t as clean and easy as you think. Sometimes things happen, a little bleeding or such, and it\'s normal. I\'m not a woman, and my body certainly wasn\'t exactly designed to have you in it. Actually, I\'m not sure that ANYBODY\'S body was designed to have something like your cock in it! You think I\'m always clean because that\'s just how it is. Well... that\'s actually the end result of a lot of work. I\'ve used small charms for cleaning and healing, Potions of Elimination, and other things almost daily for the last year. If I didn\'t, well, let\'s just say life without magic would be a lot more difficult.\"

\"I do a lot of little things I didn\'t really share with you, because I always felt like it would take away some the mystery and magic of what we do together. I guess the most important thing for you to know is that I would do all those things and more if I had to, just to be with you. I adore you Harry, you make my dreams come true and I can\'t imagine my life without you in it. The reality of what we do isn\'t as pretty as the fantasy, but I\'m in love with that, too. I love what you do to me, how I feel, even when it hurts a little it\'s still everything I ever wanted, and I wouldn\'t trade it for anything. I love being a bottom, more than ever since we met, but you need to know that being a bottom isn\'t just something I do, it\'s something I am, all of me. This is what I am... and I love it. So... no more worrying, no tears, no nonsense about hurting me, just come here and kiss me, you big, stupid, wonderful git.\"

Harry did just that, feeling terribly sheepish and still a bit ashamed, but Draco had laid down the law, and they might have some words later about keeping secrets for a year, but right now he really didn\'t care. Draco would always be magical to him, even with the petty concerns of the mundane, everyday world suddenly made obvious. Nothing could take away the way he felt with Draco wrapped in his arms, nothing at all.