Breaking Down Walls

***PLEASE READ OTHER EDITION AS IT IS CHAPTERS 1 and 2. THEY ARE NOW AVAILABLE ON THIS SERVER. NO WAY TO STICK THEM IN BEFORE THIS CHAPTER SO READ THOSE TWO FIRST AND THEN COME BACK TO THIS ONE!!. This is chapter 3...Walls of Fear, Truth, and Worry."***

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“Hermione, you alright?”

She had been standing in front of the potion classroom door for a few minutes when Ron finally nudged her. The Christmas holiday came and went in a flash. It had been six days since Hermione was Obliviated, but of course, she didn’t know that.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I…I can’t help but feel that I have forgotten something. I know I have my quills, ink, parchment, books; but I can’t place it.”

Harry glanced up from the floor where he was sitting waiting for the professor to show up and let them in. “It must not be worth much if you forgot. You don’t forget anything.”

“Yeah, must not have been important.”

Hermione smiled as her two best friends tried to reassure her it was all in her head, but the sense of something misplaced loomed over her. It wasn’t as if it was a feeling of dread either. It seemed to be a feeling of peace, as if the missing piece of her life’s puzzle was lost to her. She had to have it in order to feel complete. But it remained elusive.

Everyone in the hall began to fidget. Class was supposed to have started over twenty minutes ago. Professor Snape was never late. Never.

“Students, if I could have your attention please?” Headmistress McGonagall walked the hall towards them, startling a few that had dozed off. “I just received word that Professor Snape had a family emergency and had to cancel his classes for the day.” Joyous whoops could be heard echoing the dungeons. She held up her hands to silence them. “However, I feel it necessary to inform you that he has assigned an essay.” Moans replaced the happy shouts. “Two feet on Veritaserum. Ingredients, processing, side effects, cause, etcetera. To be due at the beginning of your class on Monday. Today being Friday, that only gives you the weekend. I suggest you get started right away.” She turned to leave as a few down hearted students trailed after her slowly.

Harry pushed himself from the floor and dusted his trousers. “Well, I suppose it’s time to go to the library.”

Ron groaned. Hermione rolled her eyes. “Just for an hour, Ron. We would be in class anyways, so we might as well learn something instead of wasting it.” She grabbed them both by the arms of their shirts and marched them to the library.

They had been there for a while when Ron noticed.

“Hermione, what’s wrong?”

She looked up from her book. “Nothing.”

“Hermione, something is up. You haven’t turned a page in ten minutes.”

Hermione sat a little straighter and looked down at the book in front of her. Page three hundred ninety-eight was still open. She had been sitting there staring at the same page for well over fifteen minutes.

“I’m just rereading it so it can all soak in, Ron. You have more important things to attend to then watching me,” she huffed. Gathering her books and parchment, she started for the library door. Once she was in the hall, the weight of her absentmindedness consumed her. “What is wrong with me? I can’t believe I wasn’t paying attention to the assignment. Maybe Ron’s right. Maybe there is something wrong with me.”


She decided to take a quick nap before lunch. Her mid morning schedule had been erased due to Headmistress McGonagall’s incessant pleas for Hermione to get more rest. “You’re simply taking on too much this year,” was her argument. After several desperate attempts to get her schedule back, Hermione conceded and allowed her pre-lunch curriculum to be tossed to the wayside. It was a good idea to use that time for revision and checking her homework for any mistakes made at the wee hours of the morning after a late night with little to no sleep and much caffeine. It’s N.E.W.T year, for crying out loud. There was studying to be done!

Hermione almost reached the staircase to the Gryffindor common room when she heard the voices approach from a nearby hallway.

“I sincerely pray you did not erase everything.”

“There’s no way of that. I simply took it from your cue and removed anything after the wreck.”

“Good. I only hope that it holds. I know I hurt her somehow. I can feel it. Remorse for my actions. I don‘t remember, of course, but the emotion is there.”

Hermione had molded herself to the opposite wall at some point. She knew the voices. She understood. Professor Snape had Remus remove his memory. But what for? What did he do? It hit her.

“We were in the wreck! Just me and him. He did something. He did something to me!”

Everything came flooding her mind at once. The weird puffy feeling of her lips when she woke up. The aching pain between her legs. What looked like a bite mark on her right breast she noticed when she showered this morning. She came to the only logical conclusion.

“He raped me!”

She slumped down the wall and cradled her legs in her arms pulling her knees into her face. “He Obliviated me. He removed my memory. Oh my god, how could he have done it? He’s a teacher! I’m a student! He would never jeopardize all he worked so hard for. I helped clear his name! How could he do this to me?”

She sat on the cold stone floor and began to sob. Anger soon transformed her outlook. She realized that he had stolen her virginity from her. The one thing that kept her pure and innocent in world of evil and corruption was now gone.

“I will kill you, Severus Snape. You will regret the day you laid one finger on me.”

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The weekend was nothing but a haze of books and parchments. Hermione knew she would get detention, possibly worse, but right now, she didn’t give a damn.

She went through her proofreading making sure all the clues were properly in place, then tucked her finished essay into her backpack, and headed for her first class…potions.

“Your essays are to be on my desk in five minutes. You then have the next forty minutes of class to prepare a perfect batch of the potion in question, Veritaserum. You will not have time to complete it, but it will be at the proper moment of progression when you turn it in. Is that understood?”

A few murmurs of “Yes, Professor Snape.” lingered in the air for a moment. Hermione reached into her bag and took her paper out. She looked down at it smirking then got up to place it on his desk.

“I hope you find my essay enlightening, Professor.”

He cocked that eyebrow of his at her. “I’m sure, Miss Granger, that whatever you could possibly have to say in that essay, I already know. I am the Master of this subject, am I not?”

She looked him square on. “Then perhaps I shall just prove to you that I can accomplish better the results that you have laid before the class and make the finished product. You could test it if you wish.”

He smirked at her. “Please try, Miss Granger. By all means, prove that your vast knowledge surpasses my own.” He motioned for her to take her place and begin.

For the next thirty-five minutes, Hermione worked feverishly over the cauldron. She added a few extra ingredients to speed up the chemical processes, so instead of taking the usual full moon cycle to complete, it could be done in less than an hour. She added moonstone to simulate the moon’s cycle, and sliced jobberknoll feathers to enhance memory.

At precisely three minutes before the bell was to ring, the Gryffindor know-it-all had a finished, viable specimen of Veritaserum sitting in front of Snape.

“If you don’t believe me, drink it. We can have the Headmistress test it, if you don’t trust us.”

“She is too cheeky for her own good.”

“Miss Granger, I do believe your tone will get you in trouble one of these days. I suggest you watch it.”

She glared at him and went to her seat. She snapped her eyes back to meet his as she sat down rather hard.

He picked up the vial. The entire class went silent as he examined the contents. The sample did look the way it should when completed. “Very well. I shall go to the Headmistress as soon as this takes effect.” And with that, he tipped the sample into his mouth and swallowed. He narrowed his eyes at her and smirked. “The taste is wrong. I do hope that you try harder next time.”

The bell rang.

Hermione started gathering her books and gestured for Harry and Ron to go ahead without her. The room seemed to empty rather quickly. She saw her chance as soon as the last student left.

“What did you do to me that night we were in the wreck?”

“I don’t remember.”

His head jerked up and met hers. It was the first time Hermione had ever seen him with a slight look of fear. He realized in that moment what she had not only done to him, but what she had accomplished. She sped up the cycle of Veritaserum. It was revolutionary!

“What have you done?”

“Added a few things. Be sure you don’t remember, Professor.” By now, she had her hands splayed out on his desk and hovering over him in a very intimidating manner. Just as she said the words, his head began to hurt. His vision became slightly blurry. He shook his head to clear it. Hermione saw his movement and knew it was time to drill him.

“How long have you wanted to rape me?”

“Never. I never wanted to rape you.” His jaw dropped. “I raped her?”

“Why did you do it then?”

“I didn’t.”

“You’re lying! Did you take the antidote to the Veritaserum?”

“No, I did not. I am out of that particular potion now. I was to have the class brew more next week.”

She decided to accept his fast response as truth and continued.

“If you didn’t rape me, then what happened? I do not remember.”

He head began to swim. His eyes were playing tricks on him. He glanced to the wall in the back of the room and saw what looked to be a muggle movie playing out on the stone. He could see the two of them lying on a bed in an intimate embrace. She seemed willing.

“I believe we were intimate. But I am sure that it was a mutual encounter.”

She sat down.

“How can I see what happened? I had Remus erase it! What is going on?”

“What did you add to the Veritaserum?”

“Moonstone to speed up the process and jobberknoll feathers to enhance memory.”

He looked at her studiously. How did he never see that combination?

“It seems to have worked, Miss Granger. I can see the events as if I am in a pensieve. Perhaps you would prefer to have a look for yourself?” He passed her an empty vial and gestured to her cauldron.

She took his lead, gathered the same amount, and drank it. She went back to her seat in front of the professor and waited. She didn’t need to wait long.

“Why did you allow me to kiss you?”

“I wanted you to.” She covered her mouth with her hands at her confession. Her eyes were wide.

“I see. How long have you wanted me to kiss you?”

“Fifth year. I don’t seem to recall an exact time, but…” Her words were cut off, as the wall behind him seemed to light up with a scene from her mind. It was a time at Grimmauld Place. Severus and Sirius were arguing over the table. She saw how strong Severus looked. How fierce and steadfast he was. It made her realize that he was just a man after all.

“What do you see?”

“You and Sirius fighting at Grimmauld. You were…powerful.” Her eyes took on a dreamy state and her voice softened as the word slipped across her tongue.

His eyebrow shot up again as he leaned forward and steepled his fingers.

“If it was mutual, sir, how long have you wanted me?”

“Too long.”

A silence ensued as they looked at each other, both trying to comprehend what this means. What could this lead to? Another bell sounded, and Hermione jumped from her seat.

“I have to go.”

“Perhaps you should.”

Hermione reached for her things and started for the door. With a small cry she realized that her essay was still on his desk. She ran back towards him, shoved another less critical copy into his hands, jerked the old essay off the stack of others, and bolted from the room.

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“Whoa!”

Hermione never saw Ron standing outside the door, so when she nearly knocked him down…

“Sorry, Ron. I, um, I have to go. I’ll see you later.”

“Wait, Hermione! I need to talk to you!”

She turned abruptly and stood waiting for whatever it is he had to say. He walked up to her nervously with his hands in his pockets. He raised his head and looked her straight in the eye.

“He heard!” She started to panic.

“Look, I have to…” she sighed trying to get him to go away.

“I need to tell…” he started unaware they began at the same time.

They both stopped and looked at the other to finish. “Ladies first.”

“Fine. I have to get to the library to finish an essay. Can we talk later, perhaps?”

He looked down sheepishly and nodded. She continued her brisk walk to the library. It always felt good to sulk in the library. It was quiet there. She could find solitude and peace. This wasn’t one of those times.

“I’ll come with you.”

She halted.

“I need to tell you something important.”

She sighed.

Ron looked down the hall and back at her. “Are we going to walk?”

She began her trek again.

“I, um…well, I…”

“Spit it out, Ron! For heaven’s sake, I don’t have all day.”

“I had a dream about you.”

That got her attention. She rounded on him.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not something I want to talk about in the hall. Do you mind?” Ron motioned to the library doors.

They entered the library and walked to the most secluded table they could find, which wasn’t that hard since most everyone was in second class. Hermione threw her satchel onto the table and took a seat.

Ron was almost seated when she started. “You dreamt about me? Should I be worried or grossed out?”

Ron’s face began to change into that shade of red he was famous for.

“Worried.” He took a deep breath. “In my dream, I saw a car. I saw you inside. It was the middle of winter and there was snow all around you. In my dream, you were alone. You were cold and alone and scared. And there wasn’t anything I could do to help you. I hated that feeling, Hermione.” He took her hand as he continued. “I don’t want to feel that I can’t do anything for you. I want to be able to do anything as long as you ask. I realized that the night you and Snape wrecked. I knew he was with you, but what good was that really? I wasn’t there for you, and I wanted to be. I wanted to make sure you were okay. When Harry and I heard you wrecked, it tore me up inside, Hermione. I’ve been such a git. I couldn’t see it before. I guess I’ve matured.” She chuckled. “Well, maybe a bit. You have to admit, I’m not as bad as I used to be.”

“That’s true enough.”

“Hermione, I think…no…I know that I…that I…”

“Ron, come on. Just say whatever it is.”

“I know that I have loved you for a while now, but I’ve not been man enough to tell you. And when I thought you might be really hurt, really in danger, I didn’t think I would ever have the chance to tell you. So now that you’re back and safe and with me, I’m telling you now. I love you, Hermione.”

The hospital wing was the first thing she saw when she awoke.

“Nothing but a good conk on the head, Miss Granger. I do wonder how you didn’t lose more time with it.”

“More time?”

“You’ve been out for three days.”

“Oh.”

Madam Pompfrey looked her over. Hermione Granger knew that her health was important. However, everyone that knew her knew that she cared more about her studies. She had missed the deadline on her essay and two quizzes. And all she had to say was ‘Oh’. Madam Pompfrey continued with a few more diagnostic spells to make sure there was no lasting damage. The light from her wand turned a vibrant shade of magenta as she waved it over the ailing girl’s head.

“I believe, Miss Granger, you have a small amount of memory loss. What is the last thing you remember?”

Hermione thought long and hard, but nothing occurred to her out of the ordinary. Nothing noteworthy to mark time by; studying, sleeping, taking exams. It all seemed pretty normal. The last thing she could remember could have been three days ago or three weeks ago. There was nothing jutting out to her.

“What about the day, Miss Granger. Can you calculate the date?”

“It would be Friday? I remember going to Potions class. That’s on Monday. But I could be remembering any Potions class.”

Madam Pompfrey scribbled in Hermione’s chart and returned her attentions to her patient.

“Was there anything notable about Potions class to discern it from any other class?”

It was all she could do to scrape her mind of anything significant but nothing. It all seemed the same. She shook her head.

“What about your personal life can you remember? Any trips? Anyone you might remember being with?”

Brief flashes of Harry, Ron, and Ginny popped up in her mind’s eye, but again, it all seemed normal. It’s when she looked up at the nurse that she saw him standing to the back of the room. He seemed anxious. He seemed scared. His eyes were wide with worry.

“Madam Pompfrey? Why is Professor Snape looking at me like that?”

He straightened his posture and resumed his usual resigned attitude. “Miss Granger, I was worried because it is very unlike you to miss exams. I came to the hospital wing to see if indeed Madam Pompfrey had you under her care. When I arrived, I was told of you condition. I’m concerned for you memory loss. Now you’ll tell me you’ve forgotten everything I’ve taught you these past seven years.”

“I think you‘re wrong, Professor.” She looked at him with narrowed eyes.

“I should hope so. I will leave you to it then, Madam Pompfrey. Make sure she takes the Restorative Draught first thing before meals. It might help her synapses.” He then took his leave of the ladies and returned to his quarters.

He took off his robes and tossed them on the arm of the old leather bound chair by the fire. The brandy glass sparkled as he filled it and sat down.

“She must have forgotten the wreck. Surely, that would have stuck out in her mind,” he thought as he swigged the dark amber drink. He sat for a few moments contemplating if their discussion in the classroom after class was also lost to her. He decided that it was best laid to rest. Severus got up and proceeded to bed for the night.

Meanwhile, Hermione was finishing a list of things that she could remember. Madam Pompfrey asked she do this so they could look over the items and formulate a timeline. She was to put a star by things that sparked a feeling as if something was missing or there was more. Hermione had a lot of stars on her paper when the nurse returned a couple hours later.

“It seems that you remember everything up to before Christmas. You don’t have here that you visited with your parents, or the wreck you had with Professor Snape.”

“Wreck with Professor Snape?”

Poppy could have smacked herself. “Never feed them their memories!” she chided herself. She sighed and looked back to Hermione.

“Yes, you were headed to your parents’ house for Christmas hols. There was a wreck, but you were both uninjured. Do you remember anything about that night?”

Hermione closed her eyes. All she could see was a blue light.

“No, nothing but a blue light.”

“Well, that’s something. Perhaps a muggle sign. On the other hand, a light source of some kind? We’ll work more on this tomorrow. Right now, you need to get some rest.” She began to tuck the sheets in around Hermione’s frame.

“Madam Pompfrey, where’s Ron and Harry? And why hasn’t Professor Dumbledore come to see me?”

Madam Pompfrey stopped in her tracks and turned slowly around. “What did you say?”

“Usually Professor Dumbledore checks on the students that get hurt. Did he come already? Did I miss him?”

The usually composed nurse dropped into the nearest seat. “Hermione, how old were you on your last birthday?”

“Fourteen.”

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***MMUAAHH!!! The plot bunny took over, I swear it!! I didn’t even see this coming when I was writing it, I SWEAR!! OMG! I mean I’m getting goosebumps!! LOL! Can’t wait to see what else this bunny is going to make me do… Look for more, cause I don’t even know what’s gonna happen!***