Hermione\'s Revenge

Hello everybody!

I have co-written this story with my son, Chango Boy, (Monkey Boy in English) who is nine years old and shares my sense of humor. Because he is nine years old, I have stayed clear of the sexually implied humor more than I normally would, at least at the beginning of this story. We have been granted permission from Amanda, the original author of 404 Ways To Annoy Snape. Thank you!

Again, I still do not own Snape, but I will gladly adopt him. The other characters still belong to the great J.K. Rowling and believe me, I am not making any money on this. I am even getting threats from my husband for spending too much time writing. I am creating a list to annoy him! *wink*

If you are not into HG/SS pairing, you can read until chapter 9 and not miss any part of the plot. At the end of chapter 9, there is an ending and warning that the HG/SS pairing will begin. (Don’t tell Chango Boy! This would gross him out!)

As always, my characters are OOC, so don’t flame me or bring this obvious fact to my attention.

A special thanks to Cassandra, whom is beta reading this for me! Thank you Cassandra!

~Hugs,
Corazon

Chapter 1

Hermione, Ron and Harry were beginning their seventh year at Hogwarts. The final battle with Voldemort was over and the three, along with the rest of the wizarding community, were able to enjoy life instead of fearing it. The three were in their Double Potion’s class with the Slytherins. It was the first class of the term and already Professor Snape, who was even more of a bastard since Voldemort was killed, was in one of his foul moods.

“DICE THE BEETLES I SAID! DON’T CRUSH THEM MISTER WEASLEY!” growled Professor Snape. “MISTER MALFOY, IF I HAVE TO REMIND YOU ONE MORE TIME TO STOP FLIRTING WITH MISS PARKINSON, I WILL TRANSFIGURE YOU INTO A FERRET!”

“Bloody hell!” gasped Ron, “What’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know,” whispered Hermione, “but just do as he says and - ”

“MISS GRANGER, THE KNOW-IT-ALL! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU NOT - TO - TALK - WHILE - BREWING - POTIONS?” with each word, he took a step closer to her. She flinched, keeping her eyes on her potion.

“FIFTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!” he hissed as he continued to stand in front of Hermione, watching her every move. The Slytherins were relieved that he was occupied with Hermione, because Snape had been ruthless with all the houses, including Slytherin.

Hermione took a deep breath, slowly let it out and continued to cut up the ingredients for her potion while Snape did not budge. His hateful black eyes bore into her, waiting, begging her to make just one mistake. Being the brilliant witch Hermione was, she was able to brew a flawless potion, enraging Snape even more.

“I AM THE PROFESSOR AND YOU ARE THE STUDENTS! I DEMAND RESPECT!” yelled Snape.

“TWENTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR FOR YOUR OBVIOUS DISPLAY OF SHOWING OFF MISS GRANGER!” he hissed before moving back to the front of the classroom to observe the Slytherins.

When class finally ended, Harry and Ron stormed out of the classroom, waiting for Hermione.

“What the hell was that all about?” asked Harry.

“One would think life would be better since You-Know-Who is dead,” said Ron. “That bastard is worse than ever! And did you see his hair? Gross!”

“He thinks he is so high and mighty,” Hermione walked past them and was mumbling, “I’ll show him who is high and mighty. Just wait and see. If he wants respect, I’ll show him respect!”

She continued walking, not even worried that Harry and Ron were looking at her like she just went off the deep end. It took a lot to get Hermione mad enough to mumble to herself and Snape had successfully accomplished that in just one class.

Harry and Ron walked alongside Hermione, towering her as she kept mumbling about how she was going to give him the respect that he demanded. They entered the Gryffindor common room and sat down. Hermione was suddenly quiet and an evil grin came across her face.

“What are you planning, Hermione?” asked Ron.

“You’ll see,” she grinned, “you’ll see.” The three of them began working on their homework.

After about an hour, Hermione asked, “What time is it?”

“It’s almost five, time for dinner,” said Harry.

“Good, you two go ahead. I’ll catch up,” she said.

“But Hermione - ” said Ron.

“Just go,” she persisted.

Harry and Ron gave in and left to the Great Hall. Hermione went to her room and grabbed a handful of dirt from one of her plants, put it in a small bag and left for the dungeons. Knowing that Professor Snape was always on time, she watched him leave his office as she turned and sprinted to the Great Hall. Stopping at the entrance, she sprinkled the dirt on the floor, muttered several charms and then ran to her seat.

“What was that all about Hermione?” asked Ginny who had been watching her along with Harry and Ron.

“You’ll see. I just hope it works. I haven’t had a chance to test it,” she said anxiously waiting for Snape to walk in.

“Here he comes,” she whispered. To everyone’s astonishment, the dirt instantly transformed into red rose petals and began scattering themselves out on the floor, three feet in front of Snape, making a bed of petals wherever he stepped.

At first he did not notice. He took his long strides to the High table, but when he heard several giggles and snickers he slowed his walking. Looking at the students, he saw them pointing at his feet and laughing. He looked down to see the rose petals being scattered in front of his feet and came to a sudden halt. He changed direction, but the petals continued to scatter in front of him. Glaring at the students, he glanced around trying to find who was responsible, but all of the students were laughing.

Making his way to the High table, he took a seat next to the Headmaster.

“Ah, roses fit for a king!” said Albus with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

“Bite me!” said Snape helping himself to some food. The giggles continued as the rose petals began to pile up around his feet. After about ten minutes the petals were spilling onto the table. Snape slammed his fork down and stood up, glaring at the Gryffindor table, knowing they had something to do with this. He turned and stormed out of the Great Hall.

“Hermione,” said Harry, “That was fabulous!”

“No kidding, I haven’t seen anything that good since Draco was transfigured into a ferret!” said Ron.

“He deserved it,” said Hermione coolly, “I am not putting up with his abuse anymore.”

“How long will the rose petals last?” asked Ginny.

“I only had enough time to charm them for the Great Hall,” answered Hermione as she served herself some casserole and began to eat.

“What else do you have planned for him?” asked Ron anxiously.

“Have you ever heard of “An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth?” she asked.

“Yes,” said Ron, smiling bigger.

“I am only seeking revenge when Snape decides to insult me, embarrass me, belittle me, or is just plain cruel to me,” she said in a low hiss.

“What about us?” asked Ginny.

“Oh, you are more than welcomed to join me in the fun. I will even help you come up with some ideas if he abuses you too,” said Hermione. The group began brainstorming the different possibilities to make Snape’s life miserable, but only if he struck first.

As the four made their way back to the Gryffindor common room, they were still laughing at the rose petals and did not notice the dark shadow that was standing in a classroom entrance way.

“Twenty points from Gryffindor,” he hissed. The four spun around and saw Professor Snape standing in the hallway, arms crossed, robes closed and a scowl on his face.

“What for?” asked Ron.

“For being too loud in the hallway, and,” he growled, “another twenty points for questioning authority!” Ron’s jaw dropped and Harry nudged him with his elbow. “You sound like you are having a party out here when you should be doing your homework. Get back to your common room now!”

The four turned around and mumbled as they left. Upon entering the Gryffindor common room, they sat around the fireplace.

“I know that being a spy must have been hell on earth for Snape, but the war is over!” gasped Ron.

“If he thinks we were having a party in the hall, I am going to show him a party,” announced Harry, “Ginny, you are a good artist. Will you help me?”

“Of course,” chirped Ginny, who blushed at the thought of Harry requesting her assistance. She had been infatuated with Harry since she first laid eyes on him and was willing to do everything for him.

“What can we do?” asked Ron with an evil glint in his eyes.

“You and Hermione can take care of the decorations,” chortled Harry, gesturing them closer, “This is what we are going to do - ,” He explained to them his plan in full detail causing his friends to snicker and giggle like some first-years about to hatch a stupid prank.

“Are there any questions?” asked Harry and the group shook their heads ‘no’. “Good, everyone will need to be ready for the next Double Potions class,” sneered Harry.

~*~*~*~*~

During lunch, the Great Hall was filled with chattering students, excitedly discussing their classes and getting reacquainted with each other. A large, tawny owl entered the Great Hall, going unnoticed by most of the students. It landed in front of Professor Snape who hesitantly untied the card, looking around to see who may be responsible, but very few students had even noticed the owl.

Upon opening the card, several more owls entered the Great Hall, delivering a card to each of the professors at the High Table. This did attract most of the students’ attention. Snape looked at the card, discovering it was a birthday invitation. There was a picture of a black dog on the cover being walked by a man, wearing black robes and strongly resembled Snape. He growled as he opened the card.


Party Time!
You are invited to a birthday party
for
Sirius Black
When: Wednesday

Where: Potions Classroom

Why: Because Sirius Black is my best friend!

Party is given by:

Severus Snape
Potion Master


The rest of the professors began to laugh as they read their invitations.

“What time Severus?” asked Minerva McGonagall.

“What can I bring?” asked Madam Hooch.

Snape scowled and chose to ignore them. Carefully he eyed the students, but nobody stood out.

~*~*~*~*~

Leaving his rooms, Snape was rubbing his temples. His headache from the previous class had not gone away, but only got worse as he made his way down to his Double Potions class with the seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins. ‘Gods help me,’ he thought blasting the door open with his wand.

To his shock, gold and red balloons came pouring out of his classroom as he heard birthday music.

“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE?” he growled, but nobody heard him until he drew his wand and banished every last balloon and music with one wave.

The class stared at him, trying to smile, but were also trembling with fear from his reaction. Looking closer, he noticed that each student was holding an identical birthday invitation to the one he had received at lunch. Even the Slytherins were enjoying the prank since Snape had been ruthless with them in taking away points and handing out detentions.

Snape was about to explode from anger when he noticed Hermione eating a piece of cake.

“What in Merlin’s name are you doing?” his hiss was lethal but Hermione just licked the chocolate from her fingers.

Innocently, she looked up at Professor Snape and teased, “Sorry Professor Snape, this is the last piece of cake, but I will let you lick the plate,” and she held it out to him.

The look on Snape’s face was worse than any they had ever seen.

“OUT! ALL OF YOU OUT THIS INSTANT! MISS GRANGER, YOU WILL MEET ME FOR DETENTION AT 8:00! OUT!” he yelled. The students flooded out of the room, not looking back.

“Holy Shit Hermione! I have never seen him this mad before,” expressed Harry.

“Do you realize that he did not even take off points?” added Ron.

“I knew this was going to make him mad. I probably should not have asked him e wae wanted to lick the plate,” confessed Hermione, who almost felt guilty, but remembered the detention he assigned her.

“Are you going to be okay with him during detention?” questioned Harry.

“He is awfully mad!” said Ron.

“I will be fine,” insisted Hermione, “It isn’t like he is going to kill me.” Ron and Harry looked uncertain as she said this.

~*~*~*~*~

After dinner, Snape was in his private lab, working on a potion when the Headmaster walked in.

“How is the potion coming along Severus?” inquired Albus.

“I am not making the progress that I had expected,” growled Snape, who was clearly agitated. “I just need more time,” he said slightly flinching.

“Severus, I know that you are going through a very excruciating time right now and I promised that I would not interfere, as long as this did not interfere with your performance as a teacher,” Albus said.

“It’s not interfering with my classes,” hissed Snape, “It’s not my fault that I have a bunch of dunderheads that cannot learn a damn thing without being coddled through every step when brewing a simple potion!”

“Severus, calm down. I know that you are fully capable of teachingr str students. I am just concerned about your temperament. You have always been stern with your students, clearly having earned their respect, but lately, you are losing their respect.” Snape glared at Albus.

“Be careful Severus,” he advised.

As much as Severus wanted to argue with the Headmaster, he knew it was true. He was losing control of both his life and his classroom and there was not a damned thing he could do unless he could perfect the potion he was working on.

“Yes sir,” he sneered, “Now if you will excuse me, I need to get back to my potion.” Albus nodded and left, still very concerned about his Potions Master.


A few hours later, there was a knock at his door.

“Enter!” he growled. Hermione walked in with her head held high. She was determined not to let him intimidate her although her heart rate was rapid when she approached Snape who was busy brewing a potion.

“Professor Snape, I - ” she began, not sure what she was going to say, but Snape snapped his head in her direction and glared at her, daring her to say another word, so she stopped talking in mid-sentence.

“You have shown me more disrespect today than any other student has ever dared to,” his voice was vile, “Being Head Girl, your punishment shall be doubled. You will clean my private lab from top to bottom without magic!”

Hermione cringed as she looked around, noticing the thick layers of dirt and grime that had clearly been there for years.

“Mister Filch has brought down a bucket and cleaning supplies for you,” he sneered, pointing to them on the floor. Hermione grabbed a bucket, filled it up with water and added a cleanser to it. Dragging the bucket to the opposite end of the potions lab so that she was as far away from Snape as possible, she dipped the rag into the water and felt that it was only warm. Looking at Snape to make sure that he was not watching, she cautiously drew her wand and murmured a charm, making the water hot.

Carefully, she removed all of the books and neatly stacked them on a table, making careful note as to the order that they had been sitting on the shelves. The last thing she needed was for Snape to give her detention again for reorganizing his books.

Snape continued to work on his potion without looking at or talking to Hermione once. Clearly his complete focus was on the potion, which intrigued her. She wanted to know what he was working on, but she did not dare to ask him.

After several hours, she had managed to clean most of the potions lab so that it was spotless. Her hands and back ached, realizing that he was serious about keeping her there until the entire lab was clean, she continued.

Dumping out the water and putting fresh water in the bucket for the twentieth time, she carried it back out to the lab. Still the water only came out warm, never hot, so she kept using her wand to heat it. She glanced up at Snape, but this time he was gone. Curiosity got the best of her and she dragged the bucket to the potions counter and began cleaning, trying to get a look at the potion that had captured his attention for the past several hours. She meticulously cleaned the counter as she inched her way toward the cauldron, casually glancing around to see if he was anywhere to be seen. As she cleaned around the cauldron, she glanced in it, seeing an unfamiliar, dark golden liquid. Noticing his notes laying on the counter next to the cauldron, she glanced at them trying to read them.

Seeing the words damage, Cruciatus, and nerve, she was intrigued herself. She discretely pulled her wand out and tapped the notes, copying them into her wand. She took her wand and found an old p of of parchment in the trash. Picking it up, she tapped her wand onto the parchment and the words from the note appeared. Quickly she rolled them up and put them in her pocket just as Snape came walking back in.

“What are you doing?” he hissed.

“Cleaning sir,” as she turned around, showing him the soapy rag.

“Go clean else where,” he growled, “this area is off limits.” Hermione moved to the other potion counter and continued cleaning.

It was two o’clock in the morning when she finished. “Professor Snape, I am finished sir,” she said, her voice clearly displaying how exhausted she was. Without looking at her or the work she had done, he dismissed her.

“You may go.” Hermione left quickly before he could say another word.

She entered her Head Girl rooms and pulled out the notes that she had taken from Snape. Since she was too exhausted to read them, she put them in her jewelry box and went to bed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next morning, Hermione yawned as she sat down next to Harry, Ron, and Ginny in the Great Hall.

“Oh Hermione, what did he do to you? Was he mean and hateful? How long did he keep you?” questioned Ginny seeing how tired Hermione looked.

“He made me clean his entire private laboratory from top to bottom,” she said as the group moaned. “Without magic,” she added and they cringed. “My hands are so sore that I can barely move them. Next time I decide to open my big mouth, put a mouth binding spell on me.”

A week past and even though Snape was still being horrible, Hermione decided not to press her luck while her, Harry, and Ron entered Double Potions. They took their regular seats in the back of the class while waiting for Snape to show up.

“Hey, Granger! Any more surprise birthday parties?” Draco asked from the front row.

“Not today Draco,” she sneered, “Why?”

“I was hoping Snape would cancel class today,” he retorted.

“Not today, Mister Malfoy,” growled Snape who had just walked in and over heard the conversation.

“I will not tolerate absurdity in this class. If any of you dare to repeat what happened last week, I guarantee that you will receive a full week of detention,” he said in a lethal, silky voice as he stood at the front of the room with his arms crossed and robes closed. “You are here for an education and nothing more. Remember that.” His eyes searched the room, daring anyone to cross him but all the students stayed silent, pleading for class to get over quickly.

He looked at Hermione who held his gaze. Wanting to show that she was not scared of him, her eyes bore into his. Finally, Snape looked away first and began teaching class. She listened to his every word and she took carefully notes, not wanting to be caught off guard.

As he circled the room while lecturing, she noticed that his skin was paler than normal and his hair was even greasier than before. Passing her by, she noticed that he did not smell, so she could only assume he was using some type of charm to conceal the odor he should have omitted. His clothes were even loose on him as if he had lost weight. This puzzled Hermione because Snape had always been very meticulous with his appearance. Ron had always called him a ‘Greasy Git,’ but his hair was never actually greasy, just silky and his clothes had always looked freshly starched and pressed. ‘No, something was wrong,’ thought Hermione. She watched him walk across the -

“WELL, MISS GRANGER,” he growled, “I do not have all day. What is the answer?” Hermione had been caught off guard. She looked around realizing that she had zoned out with her thoughts.

“I - I don’t know sir,” she stammered.

“Brilliant Miss Granger,” he sneered sarcastically, “I have lived to see the day that Miss Granger is unable to answer a question.”

“Could you repeat the question sir?” she timidly asked.

“Do you think that I have the time to stand here and repeat what I have already clearly stated?” he hissed, “If you can’t keep that frizzled mop that you call hair from covering your ears and inhibiting your hearing, then maybe you should learn how to tame it!”

There was a low moan that spread across the classroom as all eyes turned to Hermione. A few years ago, she would have run out of the classroom, crying, but the war had toughened her up. She stood up, placed her hands on the table to support her and stared angrily at him.

“How dare you?” she growled, “How dare you insult my physical appearance just because I did not hear your question?” The class sat back, watching and waiting to see what was going to happen.

She continued, “At least I shower and wash my hair everyday. Would you like to borrow some shampoo, Professor Snape?” The students gasped and ducked under their desks, waiting for wands to be drawn.

“GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CLASSROOM MISS GRANGER! I WILL SEE YOU IN MY DUNGEONS TONIGHT FOR A WEEK’S DETENTION!” yelled Snape.

Hermione gathered her books without breaking eye contact with Snape, “I will be sure to bring the shampoo,” she smirked before she left. She walked down the hall, trembling at what had just taken place. Never in her life had she talked to a teacher in that way. Tears welded up in her eyes and threatened to fall as she quickened her pace, trying to get back to her room before she lost her composure.

After a good cry, Hermione sat on her bed, trying to comprehend her behavior. She reevaluated each situation that had led up to her unexpected behavior and she realized that Snape had triggered them all. Thinking back to her first detention, she suddenly remembered the notes she had taken from him and she retrieved them from her jewelry box.

They made reference to creating a potion that would somehow counter act the effects of the Cruciatus curse. She read the lists of ingredients, making mental references to their properties, but there were a few ingredients she had not heard of before. Looking at the time, she saw that Double Potions class still had an hour left, so she decided to head down to the library. Being Head Girl gave her some privileges one of them the access to the Restricted Section of the library.