just like old times

Just like old times.


Two years after finishing our education at Hogwarts, I was about to meet my old friends again for the first time in ages. We had gotten permission to use the Potter-estate for one month, while James parents were on vacation in southern France. I smiled, and felt very excited about seeing them again, being back together, just like old times. The only thing I hoped had changed since then was my relationship with Sirius.
My last two years at Hogwarts had been hell because my crush on him made it impossible for us to have any type of normal relationship, like I had with James and Peter. I had felt the need to withdraw from Sirius friendship, and the tension had really had a negative effect on the friendship that once used to be so strong and solid.

I had been extremely heartbroken the first year after finishing at Hogwarts, as I had finally come to the realisation that none of us ever sent any letters, and that it would probably be that way forever. More than once I was about to give into temptation, and had written several letters that were never sent because I always chickened out at the last moment.

The doorbell rang, and I happily opened the door to find my three friends standing there. I smiled at them.

“Hey Moony, ready to go?” James asked with a smile. I nodded and handed him the trunk. James loaded it into the car while I locked the door to my apartment.

“Come here” I said, and embraced him for a long time. James and I had always been such good friends, and I had really missed him these last years.

“Hey, good to see you” Peter said with a smile, witch I returned. I embraced him, and squeezed his shoulder.

“Good to see you Moony old boy” said Sirius with a big grin, and put his arms around James and I. “Just like old times, eh?” he said glad. James went to the car, and Sirius embraced me for real now.

“Just like old times” I answered feeling the familiar butterfly sensation in my stomach as Sirius hugged me. It all came back to me, and I knew that it would probably grow stronger the more time I spend with him.

He looks more handsome than ever! I thought desperately, as I watched Sirius greyish eyes, his black beautiful set of hair, and his charming smile. I could get lost in my daydreams for hours, just dreaming about what it would be like to be with him. Suddenly it seemed like a very bad idea to be spending the rest of the summer with him. I didn’t really trust myself around him, and feared being too obvious.

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I said in front, next to James, all the way to the estate, and felt both glad and sad that I wasn’t in the back with Sirius. Would you snap out of this you fool! I said to myself madly. What would it change sitting next to him? He doesn’t feel the same way you do, so what would you get out of torturing yourself?! All you can do is dream, and it is about time that you accept that fact. You’re grown up now, and it is time you give up these silly school-crush-fantasies.
But all the same I found myself sneaking peaks at him in the rear-view window as we drew along, feeling flustered every time I saw him sitting right there on the backseat. He’s been sitting there since we began this trip, so what do you expect? It’s not like he is about to throw himself out of a moving car out of nowhere! He’s there, so stop looking at him!

“So, it’s been a while huh?” James said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, and I must admit that I have missed us causing trouble” said Sirius, and I smiled.

“You always where the biggest troublemaker in the Marauders” I commented.

“That’s part of my charm!” he said proudly, and I reluctantly agreed with this inside of myself. “Why do you think all the girls were so into me? They go for the bad boys, you just didn’t realise it’s potential.”

“Whatever” James said.

“Don’t you pull that indifferent tone with me. You could have had Lilly much sooner had you known how to play it right” he said, and I knew he was hitting a nerve on purpose.

“As I recall, me being a prankster didn’t exactly cause anything but trouble between me and her” James answered, sounding calmer that I imagined he felt.

“Well, I’ll give you that one. She did seem to have the same attraction to me as every other girl though, so my theory does have some truth to it”.

“She was simply going through a period of insanity, and would have never acted on it, cause she always knew I was the one deep inside” he said sounding a bit mad now.

“Come off it Prongs” Sirius answered with a grin. “Her feelings for me meant nothing, I know that. I’m only joking. You two where meant for each other, and she realised that, being the intelligent woman she is”.

James laughed as well, and I shook my head. He could be so cruel at times, and yet I could never really be mad at him. It was like hitting an innocent little puppy that looked at you with those sweet eyes saying: “I’m just a dog, I can’t help it”. There was no arguing against that.

“So it’s been a long time since I’ve heard from you Moony, what have you been up to?”

I turned to look at him, not really knowing how to respond. “Well, not much. Just getting some real life experience doing magic, working different places you know”.

“Yeah well, haven’t we all?” he asked with a smile, and I nodded.

“So I’ve heard,” I agreed.

“Got anyone special in your lives?” asked James with a smile.

“Not exactly” Peter said.

“Can’t say that I do” Sirius said. “Then again, no one will ever be allowed to tie me down”.

“Yeah, that’s the problem” I said mockingly, ignoring his grunt. “No one special in my life either, so you win seeing as you have Lilly” I continued.

“This is not a competition,” James said, sounding very unconvinced of that fact himself.

“Sure. You just happened to bring that up,” Sirius said, and everyone laughed once again.

“Got your potion with you when it becomes time for you monthly transformation?” asked Sirius.

“Naturally Padfoot” I said. “You just lock the door, and I will be no more than a harmful wolf”.

“No way! We are going to have fun like we used to!” demanded James, and the two other boys seemed to agree with that.

“Well, why not. I’m a lot less trouble than I was back then,” I said, accepting their request.

“Yeah, that potion kind of takes the fun out of it all” Sirius said, and we laughed.

I chose not to comment, as I very well knew he did not mean that at all. He had hated to see me hurt myself back then, when I had not had the possibility of taking a potion to minimize the monthly occurrence. And he was not irresponsible enough not to care at all about the danger I actually posed to other people.

“We’re here,” James said.

So this is my first fanfic, and if you would tell me what you thought I would really appreciate it! Thank you.