Dear Diary

DEAR DIARY . . . .

Disclaim: I do not own Harry Potter, so pwiddy pwease don’t sue me.

A/N
I just thought I would write something funny. Hope you enjoy, there’s no real plot in this story. I guess this is sorta like the diary in the second movie lol.

Description: Harry finds a blank book well routeing through the library during his second weak of school at Hogwarts. Surprisingly, when he writes his first entry, the book responds.

Rated for language

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry dipped his quill in the ink bottle beside him, the curtains drawn around his bed. He would never allow himself to be caught writing in a diary. He thought for a moment, than placed the quill on the page, beginning to write.

September 17th
Wow I feel really stupid, I cant believe I’m actually going to keep a diary. Well my name is Harry Potter, I’m 11 years old and have jet black hair and bright green eyes, I’m in my firs -

Wow Harry Potter, pretty full of yourself aren’t you?

Harry stared in amazement at the page, what the hell?

Err?

What you don’t know how to respond?

I well . .. . . Who is this?

I’m the friggen book dumb ass, who’d ya think, the Easter Bunny?

Well I…. No …. so your like….. Something?

No shit Sherlock, I’m a BOOK, in case you didn’t notice.

Well I mean, er yes, do you belong to someone?

Yup.

Who?

You, RETARD!

…. Your kind of mean….

Not mean, brutally honest, so Harry Potter, I am now your diary, I can give you advice and help you with all that mushy crap..

Really?

No you freak I’m not your fucking psychiatrist.

That’s it I’m getting rid of you…

That’s what they all say, but pretty soon they all come running back.

Byeeeeeeeee, I’m putting you down the toilet.

You wouldn’t dare!!!

Can you hear the toilet flushing???

NO YOU FUCK NUT IM A BOOK!

Harry slammed the book closed, looked at it, than stuffed it into his trunk.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 19th

Hey are you there??

What do you think its not like I can sprout legs and run off, I’m a book.

You don’t like being a book do you?

……….

Diary?

You friggen GIT of course I don’t, and in return I’m given to some adolescent hormonius teen!

Listen JERK!, I can get rid of you just as easily as I got you!

….. Fine I’m sorry.

Really?

NO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

…………..

Okay sorry.

Good, now I talked to a girl named Hermione in my house, oh yeah I’m in griffindor, and she said not to trust talking books.

Yeah well you can tell Hermione to go fuck her mother, from me to the bitch!

……………

Fine fine sorry, carry on with your crap I’m all ears.

I thought you were a book..

……. *sigh*

Well anyways, before I use you as a diary you have to prove your trustworthy.

WHAT the fuck am I suppose to do?!?!?! PREFORM TRICKS IM A FUCKING BOOK!

You rather touchy about the book thing..

!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!

…….

…….

…….

…….

Okay sorry sorry just don’t throw me out.

Well anyways, she said that I should ask you a series of questions.

Okay Shoot.

How did you become a book?

…….. I didn’t become, I just am!!

Right, what’s your name?

Book.

What?

Book!

I know but what’s your name???

ITS BOOK!

Oh… well I’ll give you a name, so are you female or male?

………….

What?

IM A BOOOOOOOOOK!!!!

Okay okay, how about Chance?

I don’t give a shit you own me.

Okay Chance third question, what’s your personality like?

………..

Okay okay wrong question, well I’ve got to get to sleep I have classes tomorrow.

Go the fuck ahead.

Could you not swear?

No.

Fine!

……

Good BYE!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 23rd

Hello Chance.

Bout time Harry Potter, I’ve been bored as shit.

How are you?

What do you think I’m a book!

Right, so anyways This greasy haired git named Professor Snape gave me tons of homework.

That tard is still working here??

Huh?

Nothing J

…… how did you know Snape?

I don’t….

You’re a liar.

I’m a book.

Fine whatever see if I talked to you anymore!

WAIT Harry Potter you cant leave me!

…. Why?

Well it does get lonely as a book ya know.

*Smirks*

……….. fuck you Harry Potter ………

What?

Nothing J

Well I’ve got all this homework…

I don’t care.

What?

Nothing J

Well I swear I’m starting to get sick of school.

……… umhmm ……. Sometimes I get so weird…….

And than he’s all like DETENTION POTTER!

I even freak myself out….

Than Ron’s like you need to …

I laugh myself to sleep….

SO I told him to go to hell….

Its my lullaby.

ARE YOU LISTENING!

Of course Harry Potter.

Than what did I say??

……. Er ….

Good Bye!

********~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~

SO I hope you guys like the first chapter, any Ideas would be great J