Summer Vacation

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Alexis Kinray, a twenty-three year old woman with a bachelor’s in computer science. I live in boring ol’ Illinois, in a boring town; with a boring apartment and a cat that is boring cause he spends most of the day sleeping. I’ll be getting a job here pretty soon. However, my life wasn’t always a boring existence of going to work, typing on a computer, coming home and typing on a computer some more. No, it was once a spree of homework, exams, and screwing around on the side. Take the screwing part literally. C’mon, college, what do you expect? I totally fucked in the model changing room of the art building with a graphics design major that drew dirty pictures on my back in sharpie marker while banging me in the ass. But the sex wasn’t the most interesting event of the past four years. Nope. It would have to be shortly after I graduated – I was twenty-two and it was summer. And I was going to Europe.

I have a cousin, Elizabeth. I call her Liz. She’s younger than I am, by a lot. Say, she’s a fourteen year old brat living in England who enjoys being pen pals with her older American cousin? That’d describe her. I use brat in the most affectionate of terms. Really, she’s an interesting person to know, if only for the fact that all her letters are dropped off by owls that poop on the damn windowsill and cause my cat to go psycho. If any of you understand the significance of the owls, than you’ll not be surprised by what I say next. If you have no clue what Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardly is, then fuck off. You have no business reading this.

I myself am not a witch, sadly. It doesn’t run in this side of the family, apparently. Now, my cousin is a witch, as are her mother and father. I knew since I was little about this, as they would come and visit every Christmas. They’d bring me all sorts of fun stuff from the wizarding world and when I graduated highschool, the gifts got really interesting. See, I’m a lot closer to my aunt than I am my parents and she knows things they don’t. Like the fact I’m no longer a virgin. I’ll tell ya what – the stuff you can order off the internet just can’t compare to the wizarding toys. C’mon, a magical vibrator, honestly.

Since most people take their youth as a time to explore and enjoy themselves I decided I wasn’t going to be an exception. I was going to travel. However, being strapped on funds, I wasn’t sure how. It was then my cousin had a brilliant idea. After much begging and wheedling she talked her parents into having me come visit them for the summer. We’d go to all the traditional sights as well as introduce me to the European wizarding world. Being firmly shut out of the American one on account of my muggleness – yes, I know the term – I jumped at this opportunity. A couple weeks of packing, a sitter for the cat, and one magical escapade later (portkeys suck, fyi), I found myself in Europe. Huzzah.

My aunt and uncle are fairly well-off. They have a nice two-story house that I would call a Victorian mansion somewhere in the country. There’s a couple guest rooms, the nicest of which went to me as I was the only guest present, a large kitchen, dining room, sitting room, and a couple other rooms I don’t know the name of. And they even have a house elf. I must admit that frightened me the first time I saw it. In fact, let me just jump into the recollection now.

I had no sooner appeared in Europe via portkey than I found myself being attacked by a short fourteen year old with gold hair and a wand sticking out of her back pocket. She hit me around the neck and rather than be strangled by her body weight I allowed her to pull me down on top of her. Besides, I was a bit dizzy from being magically ripped through space – kind of like having my insides rearranged. She started squirming and hollering that I was crushing her, then I caught a fist to the boob and decided it was time to let her up.

“Alexis!” The aunt crushed me next. Than my uncle. Mandatory greetings were exchanged and then the lot of us started hiking in the direction of their house.

It was about a mile from the portkey. Thankfully, everything I needed was in my backpack so I was the only one who had to carry luggage. Did I mention magic is wonderful? And that my aunt and uncle enjoy spoiling their only niece alongside their only daughter? Mmm hmmm. Once inside I dropped my stuff off in my room and then adjourned to the dining room where a snack had been set out. Tea and some pastry that I can’t remember the name of. I knew right then that I would love England. While booze was quite fine, being the college fare and all, I still had a soft spot in my heart for tea.

We had just finished the kettle when the house elf showed up. I was explaining what it was precisely that I was trying to get a job in.

“Right, so we’ve got these networks and people have to keep them safe.”

“Like floo powder networks?” That was my uncle. He was the slow one in picking up on muggle stuff, for some reason my aunt took to it like a duck to water.

“Uh, sure, that’s a good analogy. Well, someone has to keep – WHAT THE HELL!?”

I leapt up, knocking my chair to the floor. At my feet was a short, wrinkled brown creature with big ears, which shrieked and threw his arms up in the air.

“Oh,” my aunt said calmly, “Alexis, meet Tebby, our house elf. Forgot to mention him.”

Liz was in hysterics at my reaction. I made a mental note to give her a wedgie for it later. Tebby was muttering some apology, saying something about trying to just refill the teakettle.

“Right, right,” I breathed and picked up my chair, “House elf. Got it.”

“What did you think it was?” my aunt inquired.

“E.T.” I picked up one of the pastries. “These things are great, by the way, what are they called?”

I pulled out my laptop that evening, after dinner. Liz and I were in my room, sprawled on the massive bed that occupied it. She was playing with my Nintendo DS and I was seeing if I could get an internet connection. Yeah, I know this is a wizard house, but hey, maybe there was a wireless network I could leech off of. But being in rural England, there was no such luck. I sighed and glanced over at Liz. She was completely enraptured with the game.

“Figured out the controls yet?” I asked.

“I think so. I want one of these.”

“Get your mom and dad to buy ya one next time. Muggle video game stores have ‘em. Hey, is there a Panera’s anywhere around here?”

Internet is my drug of choice.

“A what?”

“Right. Wizards. Hey, where do you go to hang out anyway? Is there, like, a wizard rave or something?”

She didn’t reply. I tried again. Then I heard the game over tone coming from the DS and she finally looked up.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure there are, but I’m not old enough to go to one yet. My mother says they’re immoral places where’d I’d learn bad things and be molested by strange boys.”

This from the woman that sent me a magical dildo.

“And I suppose she knows where they are?”

“Oh sure! And I bet you can ask her, but I wouldn’t be able to go…”

She trailed off and gave me the forlorn puppy dog look.

“Fine, alright. I’ll save it for later when you’re bored of having me around. In the meantime though, where is THE place to be for wizards?”

“Diagon, of course. We can get mum to let us use the floo powder tomorrow if you’d like. They’ve got a bookstore, a wand shop, uuuh, Gringotts, and OH! A really amazing candy store that sells everything from chocolate frogs to Bertie Bott’s, to well, you wouldn’t believe some of the stuff they have. Brought money with you?”

“Some, and your parents are giving me a graduation gift lump sum to spend while I’m here.”

“Excellent! We’ll go there tomorrow as well. I’ll get in touch with my friends tonight as well, maybe we can meet them after lunch. They’re all from my house.”

“Which is?”

“Ravenclaw. We’re the smart ones.”

I made a mental note to ditch her shortly after lunch and go exploring on my own. As much as I loved my cousin, running around with a bunch of prepubescent wand-wielding girls was not my idea of a good time. The phallic imagery in of itself would probably be too much for me to handle.

With that thought, I checked time, reset my laptop’s timezone and then checked time again, and decided to shoo Liz off. She whined a bit but I insisted, claiming that I was travel-lagged and tomorrow was going to be a busy day. Once she was out the door, I changed, and checked around for the house elf. He wasn’t lurking under the bed or in the closet or anything. Freaky little E.T. wannabe.

Then I rummaged in my backpack for the small drawstring bag I’d included. Rummaged in that for a while until I found a vibrator. Shoved down the covers to the bed and hopped on, spreading my knees and hiking up my nightgown. I fingered myself for a bit, starting with my tits, which while not very sensitive were always a good starting point. Once they grew hard and I felt the first bit of wetness between my thighs I slid my hand down to my groin and fingered the flaps of skin around my uvula. Stubble of hair pricked my wrist and I made a mental note to shave down there again. Hey, some guys liked it that way. I felt more wetness and a kind of throbbing in the blood veins around my inner legs. My fingers moved deeper, caressing the clitoris, and I was just about to turn on the vibrator and really have some fun when I heard someone trying the doorknob.

“Shit,” I swore and threw myself into the pillows, yanking the covers up over me as I did.

“Alex,” Liz said, cracking the door open, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Yeah, me too,” I said, my voice muffled with the covers.

“We’re going to have fun tomorrow, aren’t we?”

“Right.”

She hesitated a moment more and my vagina informed me that it was unhappy that I’d stopped touching myself and was about to stage a full-scale protest complete with boycotting orgasm if I didn’t resume my ministrations.

“Go to bed Liz. I’ll see you in the morning.”

That got rid of her. I gave a sigh of relief and rolled onto my back. Ah hell. My cousin’s intrusion had ruined it, now it just felt awkward to be up here playing with myself in my aunt and uncle’s house with my fourteen-year-old cousin just down the hall. Some people might have gotten a kick from that thought, but hey, I wasn’t that kind of perv. Sighing, I rolled out of bed, put the vibrator away, and then tried to get some sleep.