Ewww Stinky

Title: Ewww Stinky
Author& Notes: never_tempt aka cameowitch
Status/Part: One Shot
Rating: G
Pairing: HP/SS
Date:
Key words: Fluff, M-Preg, Comedy

Summary: Harry has detention again, but with unexpected results and “little presents”

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Test reader: leopards_bane
Beta: shade


Harry sat in the cold depths of the dungeon. More precisely, he sat in the classroom office of Professor Severus Snape, the feared and hated (by most) Potions master. Harry’s detention tonight was kind of ironic, all things considered.

His potion had been flawless during class, right up the time Severus, er Snape, took his stirrer from him, causing him to lose track, thereby fouling the entire thing. When it was corrupted and beyond redemption, Snape sneered at him.

“Mr. Potter, you will be spending time with me this evening, recreating this potion. This time, let’s hope you have learned to protect your potion from any outside influence. Don’t argue now, Potter, I’ll see you tonight after dinner. Be prompt.”

The Gryffindor disposed of his cauldron’s contents and cleaned his area. Pulling out his book for his next class, he sat quietly reading, every once in a while looking over Snape as he walked (more like stalked to Harry’s mind) the classroom. The man knew how to get Potter’s attention without much effort, and Harry was dreading tonight.

Severus caught Harry’s eye. Harry saw the glimmer of anticipation that others would see as a glare of distaste. Harry had been with Severus for about six months now. It was the best kept secret in Hogwarts for many reasons – the riots it would cause, the deaths it would result in, the revolution, and even the humour. It was just too much to come forward with. The two had worked together under duress for several years. It was just months before the defeat of Voldemort that the dynamics took a radical change late one night. It had only taken Snape catching the young man roaming the dungeons skunk drunk and crying to the Bloody Baron. The ghost had even seemed distraught, and that was enough to convince Snape he needed to do something.

He stepped out in front of Potter, stopping him. Without a word, he moved next to Harry, wrapped an arm across his shoulders, shielding him with his robe, and ushered him to Severus’ private rooms. They were probably the second set of rooms in the castle that were completely defended from prying eyes, ears and portraits.

Severus had let the young man cry himself to sleep on the sofa. He picked him up, disturbed at the lack of weight, and then tucked him into his own bed, sitting on a chair to keep a steady vigil over him during the night. When Harry began crying in the night, Severus’ hard heart broke. He crawled onto the bed, keeping the covers between them and held the weeping man, finally falling asleep himself. Harry woke later feeling cocooned (Severus had made sure he was well tucked in) and safe. He looked around as far as he was able, and was startled to see his reason for tears last night holding him tight.
Severus woke up at the slight movement. His obsidian eyes stared into emerald ones. Both were relaxed at the moment and were enjoying it. Harry was the first to whisper.

“Why?”

Severus considered the question for only a second. “You were drunk, you were hurting, and I faced the truth. We are closer than either expected, or wants to admit just yet, but it had to start somewhere. It started here last night and will continue.” He tightened his hold on the raven-haired beauty, inhaling his scent. Harry, for his part, relaxed further into the embrace, accepting the truth.

Six months today. It was the anniversary of the two consummating a relationship, and six months of putting the spy’s best efforts to the test. So far no one knew or suspected, but it wouldn’t be much longer. Voldemort was dead, Harry would be graduating in three months, in three months and two days he and Severus would have a wedding, and in five months Harry would deliver their first child. Yet they still played the subterfuge games. It was unique, especially now that his magic was “acting up”. Still, no one questioned his actions or magic results. It just proved Severus’ point – the Boy-Who-Kicked-Ass could do no wrong in the eyes of the Wizarding World.

Dinner came and Harry ate his fill of strange combinations of food. He looked at his snogging friends and stood. “Off to detention,” he said as he headed toward the dungeons.

Severus met him at the door with a “Follow me, Potter” just in case prying eyes and ears were still alert. They didn’t want any information leaked to the papers. Harry hung his head and followed his Potions master. The doors closed behind them, the extra charms went up and Harry was in Severus’ arms in a heartbeat. The kiss was long, slow and exploring. Severus picked Harry up and wrapped the nubile legs around his body. He carried him over to his desk and set Harry back on his feet. “Hello, lover” was softly spoken, and flowed over Harry’s sensitive neck, causing him to shudder so delightfully. The young man smiled and turned loose to sit in his chair.

“Severus, I’m really tired tonight and the magic is really acting up. What ‘punishment’ did you have in mind?” Harry tried to stifle a yawn and failed. Severus took one look at him and made a snap decision.

“Tonight love, you are going to help the younger years in potions. You are not to be mixing anymore according to the reference books, so we are trying something new. I want you to use that wonderful imagination of yours, and Muggle experiences, to help me design new ways of getting Potion ideas through to the First Years, at least. I can’t take anymore Longbottoms. Just write them down on the parchment for me.”

Harry shook his head. “This is punishment?” He smiled at Severus and picked up the quill and ran the feather back and forth over his lips, going deep into concentration. Soon his quill began scratching over the parchment with him, writing furiously. Severus went to his chair, got comfortable and watched the quill as it first stroked Harry’s lips then began vibrating and dancing as Harry wrote faster and faster.

So lost in thought and writing was Harry that he did not notice the floor quickly becoming covered. Severus was enraptured watching Harry and he missed the small invasion. He heard the Gryffindor snicker and watched as he kept writing. Both men jumped when they felt something brush their legs. Looking down, Severus began to swear as Harry started laughing. Covering the floor were little magical bunnies in all colours. They were also doing what comes naturally for bunnies. Soon the room was being overrun with the creatures, but Harry went back to his punishment. Severus started watching Harry and the bunnies, soon picking up on the correlation. Every time Harry giggled and wrote down a new idea, at least one new bunny would appear. It was also happening in between thanks to the gestation time of magical bunnies. Severus’ quarters were soon infested – the floor, the furniture, the hallway, even the mantle over the fireplace.

Severus looked closer and groaned, thinking, “My poor quarters will never be the same.” His eyes began spotting other “little presents” littering the areas. He soon figured he had to stop Harry’s thoughts to stop at least part of the population explosion. Standing up and carefully moving through the bunnies and “bunny buttons”, he reached Harry. Getting Harry’s attention took a minute through the mirth, but as soon as he had it, Severus helped his pregnant lover to his feet, pulling him in close for “fuzzy brain” kisses, effectively stopping Harry’s thinking, and the bunnies’ appearances.

Carefully walking backwards, he began leading them to his bedroom. Luckily, he had kept that door closed so there should be no bunnies in there. Thankfully. Just as they were mere feet from the door, both felt something squishy under their feet and looked down. Seeing the large pile of “bunny buttons” covering the bottom of their shoes, both mean groaned and a resounding “Ewww, stinky” was heard through the dungeons as they toed off their shoes, and more or less leaped to the bedroom door. Severus opened the door the minimal amount to get them through without letting the bunnies in.

Once inside, Severus focused on making Harry forget the wild-eyed ideas that sparked the overflow of bunnies. His lover’s magic was truly off, if this is what he was conjuring. Severus thought once again before saying anything though, remembering it could be worse than bunnies, oh, so much worse.

As he brought their lips together for the first of many times through their night’s lovemaking, Severus said, “You do know, don’t you, that you will have to design the nursery? I can’t see me “drawing” bunnies on the walls.” Harry laughed and snuggled in closer, letting Severus distract him in the most satisfying way yet.