Amid the Falling Snow

Title: Amid the Falling Snow
Author: Lidane
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Alcohol-induced sex, first time, dirty talk, post-HBP AU-- there are Book Six spoilers, so if you haven't read it, don't read this fic
Disclaimer: Not mine. JKR owns it all. I don't make any money from this either.
Summary: Over a cold winter's fortnight, Severus and Harry come to an understanding.

~~*~~

In years past, he'd have spent this time of year in that insufferable castle.

He'd have dealt with the house elves making enough roast turkey, mashed potatoes, and other holiday foods to feed an army. He could see the Christmas pudding, mince pies and Christmas cakes as surely as if they were right in front of him instead of the simple broth and vegetables that he had managed to cultivate in the surrounding woods of his small cabin.

There would be large, elaborately decorated trees all over the school, the scent of evergreen wafting in the halls, and Flitwick floating ornament after ornament to their proper place. The students would be hustling and bustling, readying their bags for their winter trip home, and he would have a few blessed weeks of silence and peace, apart from the obligatory dinners with the staff.

Not so anymore. Not ever again.

Curse Albus Dumbledore, wherever he was now. It was, after all, his fault.

Severus had, in his own way, grown accustomed to his dual role, playing the loyalist among the Death Eaters, and the spy for the Order, but somehow managing to hold on to his own identity in the process. That all changed six months ago, when Dumbledore had asked him to do the unthinkable, and forced him to keep that damnable vow with Narcissa.

Since then, he'd become persona non grata in the wizarding world—the man who murdered the beloved Headmaster of Hogwarts. Death Eater, traitor, coward…the words all rang in his mind repeatedly, like a mantra of spite. It wouldn't have mattered if he'd had all the time in the world to explain himself. He knew that the wizarding world was quick to apply their laws, and small details, such as facts, and reason, very often didn't matter.

He would never be redeemed or accepted in the eyes of other wizards. And he would never have the simple comforts of a Hogwarts Christmas again, even if, at the time, he loathed the entire affair.

Sighing to himself, Severus finished his small meal and absently threw another log on the fire, reminding himself to chop more wood in the morning, and ambled off to bed. It was rather tiring being on the run, and he had another day as a fugitive ahead of him.

~~*~~

In years past, he'd have spent this time of year at Hogwarts.

The Dursleys didn't want him around, which was no real loss to him. And with the house elves making their usual elaborate feasts, he wouldn't go hungry. He could stuff himself silly on roasted meats and vegetables, and eat sweet cakes and puddings until he was about to burst. And Dobby would find a way to sneak an extra dessert to him after it was all said and done, as well. Maybe Ron would even be there, or he'd be sending owls back and forth to the Burrow. He'd have the time to complete his holiday assignments, then put on his Weasley jumper and go out and play in the snow.

The castle would be a wondrous place, looking like something out of Aunt Petunia's picture books. With all of the trees and the garlands, and the scents of Christmas all around, Hogwarts was a thing of beauty right about now. If she'd ever seen it, Aunt Petunia might have even liked it, at least before remembering that she was surrounded by magic, thus prompting her to start yelling about the freakishness of it all.

Of course, none of that mattered anymore, especially with Dumbledore gone.

Curse Snape, wherever he was now. It was, after all, his fault.

How could Snape have done what he did? Supposedly, the Headmaster trusted him, but Harry couldn't understand it at all. Dumbledore was funny about that, really. He trusted Lockhart, and the fake Moody, and even Quirrell, and each time, he'd been wrong. But he always defended Snape, no matter how many times Harry objected.

And in the end, Dumbledore stood there, surrounded by Death Eaters, begging Snape not to kill him. But the bastard did it anyways.

Tears sprang at the corners of Harry's eyes as he remembered how helpless he felt as the Headmaster was cursed, sent flying over the Astronomy Tower to his death. And he remembered the hard, cruel look on Snape's face as he did it. He would never forget that, not ever.

A rather cold breeze snapped Harry out of his thoughts, and he realized that the temperature was dropping. He'd need to find shelter, and soon, or he'd freeze to death. He could resume his search for the horcruxes in the morning.

Spying a small cabin off in the distance, Harry pulled his coat around him and grabbed his broom, heading off to the cottage. Perhaps its occupant would be willing to house him for the night.

~~*~~

Sleep was a hard time coming for Severus Snape, his thoughts consumed, as they always were these days, by Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, and his own eventual fate.

Shfting once more in bed, he cursed under his breath and decided that perhaps a drink was in order. He'd managed to gather enough herbs and spices some weeks back to brew a fair bit of ale for the winter, and he could turn a small amount of it to wassail with the ingredients he had on hand.

Yes, that would do. A drink would calm him enough to put him to bed. Walking into his makeshift kitchen, Severus reached for a mug, and began to pour.

He never expected the knock on his door, or the person standing on the other side.

~~*~~

The first things Severus noticed were the unruly mop of black hair and the spectacles. The second was that the boy was freezing, and near hypothermia. Cursing his luck, Severus snapped, "Idiot boy, get in this cabin before you freeze."

The voice startled the young man, and he looked up.

"You!" he growled, his eyes narrowing. "No, thank you. I'll take my chances out here, then. For all I know, you'll just take me to your master," spat Harry.

Rolling his eyes, Severus motioned behind him. "Fool! Does this look like the sort of place my master, as you call him, would house one of his followers? I've no interest in seeking the Dark Lord out at the moment, as in case you'd not noticed, I'm a marked man."

"As w-well you sh-should be," stammered Harry, his teeth chattering as he talked. "You killed the Headmaster, you b-bastard! I sh-should contact the Order now and let them know where you are."

"And how would you explain your presence, then? Did you just happen to be wandering out here in the middle of nowhere, miles from civilization, or from Hogwarts?" countered Severus. "I'm sure that both the werewolf and Mrs. Weasley would love to hear your explanation for just how you ended up here, of all places."

Stepping away from the door, Severus made a dismissive motion, and turned back to his drink. "Leave, and freeze to death overnight. Stay, and you will have what little food and shelter I can provide until the weather clears. It is your choice."

Conceding his lack of real options, Harry swallowed his pride and said, "Fine. I'll s-stay. But try anything, and I'll kill you where you stand," he warned, closing the door behind him.

Chuckling, Severus sneered, "You couldn't kill me if you wanted to, boy. You don't have what it takes to kill a man," he said. "You may have some power, Potter, but don't fool yourself into thinking you're that strong." Sitting down, he continued, "But if it makes you feel better to threaten my life, then go right ahead."

"I don't have what it takes, then?" taunted Harry. "Tell me, Snape, what does it take to kill a man? Do you have to wait until your Death Eater friends are all around, and an old man is begging for mercy? Or is there more to it than that?"

Bolting out of his chair, Severus pinned Harry against a nearby wall, his coal black eyes cutting into the pair of emeralds below him. "If that's what you think happened, Potter, you're a bigger fool than I thought," he seethed, his breath ghosting along Harry's skin. "There was a lot more going on there than you know."

Pulling back, Severus waved his hand and summoned forth a blanket and a pillow from his bedroom. "The sofa is over there," he said dismissively. "I'll thank you not to waste my firewood, as I'm running a bit low and won't be able to chop more until tomorrow. Good evening, Potter." And without a backwards glance, Severus walked into his bedroom and slammed the door, leaving Harry all alone.

~~*~~

"Finally, you're awake, Potter," said Snape. "I was almost convinced you were going to sleep the day away," he added as he moved around the small cabin. "There's a fresh stew on the stove, and the bath is through that door," Severus continued, pointing to the bedroom door he had entered the night before.

"Fine. I'll clean up, eat, and then I'll be on my way. I'm sure you don't want me around anymore than I want to be here," replied Harry as he grabbed his wand and headed to the other room. Before Severus could respond, he was gone. Shrugging, the Potions master went back to the book he was reading, and sipped his drink.

~~*~~

"Just so you know," remarked Snape as Harry re-entered the room, "there was a rather nasty blizzard while you slept. We've gotten quite a bit of snow, and the area is impassable," he said, prompting the younger wizard to curse under his breath. "You'll have to stay here one more day, at the very least," Severus said. "At least until the snow melts enough for you to go."

"Oh, that's just fantastic. It's just how I wanted to spend my winter hols—locked in and snowbound in a cabin with you," Harry said. "Well, I suppose I should get comfortable, then," he said, kicking off his shoes and placing them under the sofa.

"It's not what I would have preferred either, Potter," reminded Snape, "but since we have no choice, we will make the best of it and endure. Unless your Gryffindor bravery was left at the door when you came in?" he chided. "But I refuse to have you laying about and doing nothing while I do all the chores, so you will pull your weight. And I will train you while you're here, as I have nothing better to do, and we both know you need the practice if you are to face the Dark Lord."

~~*~~

"You said when I first got here that there was more going on than I knew," said Harry as he dodged an errant hex from Severus. "What did you mean by that?"

The two wizards were dueling, as they had been for the past week and a half. The initial blizzard had paved the way for a heavy snowstorm that had lasted the better part of two days, and it was unseasonably cold, rendering any travel moot. So Harry and Severus had spent their days in combat to pass the time.

At first, it had been a nightmare, with tempers flaring, hexes flying, and Severus having to restrain Harry physically at least once when a snide remark about Sirius had set the younger man off. Eventually, they settled from an uneasy truce to an unspoken civility, particularly since they were working together to survive.

Calling an end to their duel, Severus walked over to the barrel of ale that he had and poured himself a large mug. Thinking it would make the conversation he was about to have easier, he poured an equally large glass for Harry and offered it to the young man, as opposed to the tea the lad had been drinking thus far.

"Sit down, Potter," motioned Snape. "Let me ask you this—how much do you know about Unbreakable Vows?" wondered the older man.

"Not much, to be honest," admitted Harry, "but I guess there's a reason why you're asking."

Nodding, Severus replied, "There is. But we'll get to that in a moment. Another question for you—how much do you know about the Malfoy family?"

"Well, I know that Narcissa is related to Sirius, and that Lucius is in Azkaban because of what happened at the Department of Mysteries, but not much more than that. The Headmaster never talked about them," Harry answered.

"No, I'd expect he wouldn't have," nodded Snape. "But in truth, the Malfoys have been out of favour with the Dark Lord for some time now, and it all has to do with you," said Severus. "Do you know why that is?"

"Because I destroyed Voldemort's diary in my second year, and it was a horcrux," replied Harry.

"It goes much deeper than that," answered the older wizard. "When you destroyed the diary, the Dark Lord demanded a rather harsh payment from Lucius as atonement. He was to delivery the prophecy, or at least grant the Dark Lord access to it through you. We both know how it turned out—Lucius was arrested, and the prophecy destroyed. So in return for that second failure, the Dark Lord required the most impossible task of all. Draco was assigned to kill Dumbledore, or die trying."

"I understand all of that, but what does it have to do with an Unbreakable Vow?" asked Harry.

"Narcissa and Bellatrix visited my home, and Narcissa demanded an Unbreakable Vow that I would protect her son at all costs, and make sure that his orders were carried out," replied Snape. "Had I not fulfilled the Vow, I would be dead now."

Taking a large swig of his drink, the ale rushing through his blood, Harry looked askance at Severus. "So you expect me to believe that you only killed Dumbledore so that you could live?"

Raking his eyes heavenward in exasperation, Severus snapped, "No, you foolish boy. I took the Vow to protect my cover with Bellatrix. I had no choice. And the Headmaster had me promise to carry out that Vow no matter the cost, because he didn't want Draco to become a murderer. You've seen the Dark Lord," noted Snape. "Albus explained what murder does to a person's soul. He wanted to spare Draco from a similar fate."

"So why did Dumbledore beg you for mercy, then?" countered Harry. "He was begging you not to kill him, and yet you did!"

"He didn't beg me for mercy, Potter. He begged me to kill him. There is a difference," Severus drawled. "Someday, you will learn that. And if you think that Albus Dumbledore would have ever begged for mercy from any man, you don't know the Headmaster you revere at all."

Snape's last words stung him, and Harry downed the rest of his drink in one large gulp, wincing as the alcohol coursed through him. Pouring another mug of ale, he then crossed the room, sitting on the sofa he'd called his bed for the past few days. Staring at the fire, his words flat and emotionless, Harry began to speak.

"You're right," he said quietly. "I didn't know him. I thought I did, but there was so much he never told me, and never explained. Even up until his death, he just asked for my trust, and for my faith in what he was doing," Harry mused, his words starting to lightly slur. "It was as if he expected me to just blindly follow wherever he would lead, even if I had no bloody clue where I was going."

"I'll let you in on a secret, Potter," replied Snape, his own mug refilled, as he sat on the sofa across from Harry. "He did the exact same thing to me."

~~*~~

After several more rounds of ale and conversation, Harry suddenly spoke up. "Want to go to bed with you," he slurred, catching Severus completely off guard.

"Have you taken leave of your senses, boy?" he asked, his own inhibitions considerably lowered, given the sheer amount of alcohol in his blood. "You can't possibly be serious. You're clearly drunk. I shouldn't have allowed you so much to drink."

"Don’t want to be alone tonight," whined the younger wizard. "And you're not sober either. Plus my arse hurts from sitting on this sodding couch all night. It'd be nice to lie in a bed again. Please?" he begged.

Cursing his current inability to say no and his sudden realization that having Potter in his bed wasn't an altogether horrid idea, Severus responded, "Alright, I suppose it couldn't hurt. But only for one night."

"S'okay. I can live with that," answered Harry. "I just want company tonight."

"Very well, then," said Snape. "Let's go to bed, Potter."

~~*~~

He was surely destined for a special level of Hell.

That was the only thought in Severus' mind as he kissed Harry, the two wizards in a drunken, sloppy clinch on his small, ramshackle bed. He wasn't sure how it had all come about, but he knew better than to question things right then.

He was destined for Hell, but he would enjoy the trip there while it lasted.

For his part, Harry knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he shouldn't find Snape attractive at all, and that his father and Sirius were no doubt rolling over in their graves. And Ginny…well, he had to push thoughts of her out of his head. She wasn't here, and Snape was. And he needed to connect with someone, even if it was his former teacher.

Tomorrow would be another day. It might even be the day he could leave to continue his search. Maybe send an owl to Ron to let him know that he was fine, and that he had been delayed by the weather, but that he was heading to the Burrow.

But that was tomorrow. It wasn't here, and it wasn't now.

~~*~~

Breaking the kiss, Severus looked down at his former student and asked, "Are you sure about this? If it's just the alcohol, we can stop. There is no shame in saying no," he reminded.

"No," answered Harry. "I want this. Tonight I want to be here, and I want you. I don't know what it is, but it feels right. You feel right. Please…" he begged, and Severus felt his almost unshakable self-discipline crumble.

"Very well, then," he nodded.

Igniting a nearby candle with a wave of his hand, Snape glanced at his companion. Harry's creamy, pale skin shone in the light, his dark hair standing out even more, but it was his eyes that caught the older wizard's attention. Without his hideous spectacles blocking the view, Harry's eyes were bright emeralds, sparkling in the soft light of the candle's glow.

Looking up at Severus, Harry noted that in the soft light, the older man's features weren’t as stark. His hooked nose looked almost distinguished, his dark eyes nearly fathomless. And the Slytherin's hair didn't look as greasy as it would have back at school. He lacked any sort of classical good looks, but Snape fared well in the light, in Harry's opinion.

Feeling a touch on his skin, Harry quietly followed Snape's long fingers, which traced his collarbone and dipped under his pyjama shirt before slowly unbuttoning it, exposing more of Harry's skin to the older man's gaze. Severus then stripped off his own shirt, covering the younger man's body with his own, both wizards hissing at the contact of skin to skin.

"Delicious," murmured Severus as he lowered his lips to the edge of Harry's jaw, kissing a trail down the younger wizard's neck.

~~*~~

Shifting his hips under Snape's, Harry groaned when their cocks rubbed together through the material of their pyjama bottoms, prompting a chuckle from the other man.

"Oh, so you like that?" he drawled. "Well, I can show you so much more than that, Potter," said Snape as his right hand traveled under the waistband of Harry's pants, taking a firm grip on the young wizard's prick, stroking the head with his thumb. "All you have to do is ask, and I can show you."

"Please…please…" gasped Harry as his eyes rolled back in pleasure, his hips bucking into Severus' hand."Show me."

~~*~~

Sliding down his former student's body, Severus ran his tongue up the vein of Harry's cock before taking the entire length in his mouth, shocking the younger man, who gasped and bucked his hips at the warmth surrounding him for the first time in his life. Building a steady pace, the older wizard was determined to bring his young lover to climax before going further.

Just as Harry was about to come, Snape removed his mouth and knelt back on his haunches to look at the Gryffindor, ignoring Harry's protests. Severus then began a firm, sure wank, teasing Harry mercilessly. "Come for me," he demanded as the younger wizard moaned again, his hips rocking in time with the Slytherin's rhythm. Another few strokes was all it took, and Harry cried out, his seed coating both his stomach and Severus' hand.

"Beautiful," Snape murmured as he licked his hand clean. "Simply beautiful. Now turn over and get on all fours, Harry. I need to get you ready for me," Severus instructed.

With a wave of his hand, Severus summoned a small vial of lubricant from his workbench across the room. Coating his finger with the thick fluid, he caressed the younger man's hip knelt behind him, slowly preparing Harry to be penetrated for the first time.

When Snape's fingertip began to enter him, Harry tensed out of reflex, but with Severus' encouragement, he soon relaxed, allowing the other man to slowly work his digit in. The Slytherin patiently worked on the Gryffindor, easing his finger in a bit at a time to enable Harry to adjust to the intrusion.

Once Harry was sufficiently relaxed, Snape added a second finger, curling his hand just so, in order to hit a small bundle of nerves inside the younger wizard, making his lover groan deeply. "What was that?" he gasped. "Feels good," sighed Harry. "That was your prostate," answered Severus. "And it will feel better when this is over, I promise."

A third finger soon followed, and Harry found himself wanting anything that Snape was willing to give him. Nothing he'd ever felt before that could have prepared him for what he was feeling, and he knew it was time. "Please. I'm ready," he breathed. "I want you now. Please…"

Stroking himself with the lubricant, Severus placed the tip of his cock at Harry's entrance and slowly began pushing his way in, reassuring the younger man as he went, and it wasn't long before he was fully sheathed inside the Boy Who Lived.

After a few moments, when Harry finally wiggled his hips, Snape knew he was ready, and he grasped the boy's hips, thrusting in slowly, so as not to hurt his lover. The two men moved in unison, Harry quickly feeling another orgasm coming on. "Let go, Harry," said Severus as he reached for the younger wizard's cock.

That was all it took, and Harry managed a second climax, more intense than the first, and his arms gave way. He leaned forward, burying his face in a nearby pillow, and reveled in the feel of Snape fucking him, and speculating absently if he would ever have this chance again.

"Can you handle one more?" Severus wondered aloud, as he grasped Harry's hips and began to thrust harder, increasing his pace and encouraging the younger man he went. It had been so long that Severus knew he wouldn't last much longer, but he wanted to make the Boy Who Lived come one final time.

Harry felt Snape speed up and grasp his hips tighter, but he was too far gone to manage anything more than a deep moan. A few strong, sure thrusts later, and he felt his former teacher climax with a grunt as Severus stroked him to a third and final climax. Falling forward, he was barely conscious when Severus turned him over and kissed him deeply, but Harry was pretty sure he enjoyed it.

~~*~~

"So what are your plans now, Potter?" wondered Severus. The weather had cleared enough in the days since their tryst, and Harry was in the process of gathering his supplies to leave the cabin.

"Well, I'm going to send word to Ron and Hermione that I'm alive, and maybe head in their direction. I also need to keep searching for the remaining horcruxes, since my luck has been shit so far," he shrugged, "and I'm going to need those to beat Voldemort once and for all. And you?" asked Harry.

"I admit, I have no set plan. I'll probably move on soon, unless the Dark Lord sees fit to summon me to his side. Perhaps I can still save Draco somehow, though I don't know how I will manage," replied Severus. "But I'm sure we'll see each other again, Potter. You're not rid of me just yet."

Blushing, Harry said, "Sir, about the other night…"

"Don't worry about it, Potter," answered Snape dismissively. "We were both clearly impaired, and I will understand if you never want to speak of it again," he continued. "After all, I've no doubt that Miss Weasley will be looking forward to seeing you again..."

"Actually, sir," interrupted Harry, "I was going to say that I rather enjoyed it, and wouldn't object to it happening again, though next time, I hope it will be under better circumstances and with both of us sober enough to remember all of the details."

Masking his surprise at that, Severus simply nodded his head. "Farewell, Potter. And do try not to get yourself killed."

"Likewise, sir," Harry replied has he walked out to a nearby clearing and kicked off in flight, leaving both the cabin, and the Potions master, far behind him.

~~fin~~