My Deepest Apologies

DISCLAIMER: I think y'all know the drill. I'm a nun. Own nun, have nun, can't get nun. I also just used double negatives. Sadly, I don't own those either.
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I'm Lost Without You

Four days, seven hours, twenty-two minutes, and forty-eight seconds after Harry Potter had struck the Dark Lord with the Killng Curse, the Savior of the Wizarding World awoke to a dark hospital room. Rubbing his eyes, he stared at the clock on his nightstand. The sickly green of the numbers reminded him terribly of the Kedavra he'd cast.

Turning so he wouldn't have to gaze at the clock, his eyes landed on a boquet of flowers. He smiled lightly, reaching to brush gentle fingertips over a tiny forget-me-not. Taking in the rings of color starting with sky-blue, on to peach, yellow, and finally to the single, bloming, pink peony centered in the basket, Harry's spirits lifted. His gleaming, emerald eyes darted to the envelope with his name penned in silver, flowing script. Smiling brighter, he reached out, hurriedly opening the letter to read what his lover had to say.

He carefully unfolded the parchment, allowing the scent of petchulli to hail his senses. Sighing contently, he began to read the words of his dearest.

~My darlilng,
If you are reading this, you have no doubt seen the boquet I have arranged for you. Lovely; isn't it? And each row has it's own meaning. The blue ones are forget-me-nots, my love; no doubt you can figure what they mean. The second row, are known as wallflowers; they mean, 'I am yours...Forever,' for that is what I am. Yours.~

Harry grinned, chuckling quietly before continuing.

~The pansies are for rememberance. Never forget me, darling.~

A sense of foreboading overcame the Golden Boy. What was he supposed to make of that?

~The peony, my love, is for forgiveness. I beg forgiveness, darling. I ask of you to forgive me.~

Harry's eyes watered. His love...Did he have another? As they say. 'Only one way to find out.' Harry read on.

~You are probably wondering what I need you to pardon me of. No, I do not have another amour, darling; you are my only, and my final.~

The boy wiped his eyes. He'd been stupid to think his dearest had found another to warm his heart.

~Alas, the news I bear is far more heart-wrenching than finding a new love.~

'No,' Harry thought. 'Nothing's worse...Nothing except...'

~My darling, my love, my life...I fear that if you are reading this, I am well and truely gone.~

The Savior choked back a sob, trying to read the words of his world through s mass of tears.

~I ask that you forgive me for causing you so much pain. Reading this will haunt you for many days to come; I know it. You have my deepest apologies. I am so terribly sorry, darling. I couldn't give you the life you wanted. We'd always talked about a family, a home, a life. And now I can't give you what you dreamed. But another can...Another who has possibly loved you more than you could ever imagine.~

'He'll never be you!" Harry's mind screamed. 'NEVER!'

~I have given Severus instructions on a potion that will enable you to have my child, but with another. Please, darling, if it is the last thing I do for you, take that potion and start the family you want, live life with another, love him as you would love me.~

The Golden Boy coughed, breathing heavily. "You bastard! How dare you suggest such...such...BULLSHIT!" He hissed half-heartedly.

~You are my world, Harry. Never doubt that I love you, never. Even in death, I see your sweet face, those lovely eyes, those sinful lips. Merlin, what did you see in me?~

"Everything," Harry breathed. "Everything."

~What I wouldn't give to be allowed one last kiss, if only to say goodbye. Remember what we had, darling.~

'How could I forget?' the boy asked himself.

~Remember my love for you, and remember that my death starts a new beginning.
Eternally,
Lucius~

Hands shaking, eyes leaking, Harry let loose one of the most painful cries he'd ever known himself to posses. Dropping his love's letter, his last words, Harry covered his face, sobbing and choking. He was a wreck. Lucius, his life, was gone. It had been but five days ago that they had been smiling and laughing, kissing and loving. Five days, damn it!

Turning his face into his pillow, the Savior gave a heart-shattering scream. He clutched the pillow to his face, body wracking with the force of his emotions, head shaking.

'Not true,' a voice in his head said. 'Not true. It's a dream. I'll wake up, and it'll all be as it was. All be as it was. Normal.' Lifting his head, eyes red and puffy, Harry reached for the other sheet of parchment that Lucius had given him. Grudgingly, he brought the sheet to eye level, sniffling. His tears started anew when he saw what the paper contained: the only Muggle song he'd ever demanded Lucius to listen to. With a heavy heart and blurry eyes, he began to croak out the tune.

~I'm Lost Without You

I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you

I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming
And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this

Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you

Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you

I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you~

Heaving another cry, Harry clutched the letter to his chest. Closing his eyes, allowing his crystal release to cover his cheeks, he siged into his pillow. "I am...I'm lost without you," he whispered, never knowing that another had heard his episode.
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So...I know it's rusty, but tell me what you think. If I can't continue...I guess it works as a stand alone. lol. Lyrics are donw by BLINK 182. Loves and all that other good shit! -^ ~-* -CARIO-