Finding The Nail

“Harry, what’s this all about?”

Harry sighed. “Ginny, will you stop asking me that? In just a few minutes I’ll explain it to everyone.”

Ginny grumbled a bit, but didn’t push any further. The situation within Dumbledore’s Army was tense enough. Just the day before their friend Seamus Finnegan had attacked Harry and Ginny, along with Hermione, George, Luna, Neville, Dean and Pansy, while under the Imperious Curse. The moment they’d broken him from the Curse, Seamus had frantically blurted that Death Eaters had attacked his family while in Ireland; Harry had accompanied Seamus to the Finnegan’s cabin, but they’d been far too late to save Seamus’ parents.

Harry and Ginny were in the conference room with Hermione, and they were watching through the two-way wall as the members of the D.A. passed by and entered the training room across the hall. They sat in silence for a bit until Hermione spoke: “There’s Luna and George. That’s everyone.”

Luna had broken her ankle when Seamus had attacked them. The Healers at St. Mungo’s had done good work, but she was still hobbling a bit; George was supporting her. When the two of them had disappeared through the other door, Harry stood. “Okay, you two go over; I’ll be there in a second.” Hermione and Ginny exchanged a glance, shrugged and stepped out the door. Harry walked around the table and used his wand to unlock a cabinet. He pulled out a large silver punch bowl, resealed the doors and headed across the hall.

When he stepped into the training room the conversation died away instantly. The members of the D.A. were seated in a semi-circle on the floor, facing Harry. Everyone was there, even Ernie MacMillan, who rarely ever ventured away from the circles of the rich purebloods where he was trying to garner information. The only members not there were Tonks and Mundungus. “Harry, what’s going on?” Parvati asked as Harry shut the door.

Harry turned to face his friends and smiled. “Sorry to keep you all in the dark; I didn’t want to repeat myself countless times.” He walked over to the table he’d set up earlier and set the punch bowl down. “Some of you already know what this is, so I’m sorry if I repeat something you already know. I converted this bowl into a Pensieve a while back. A Pensieve is a place to store memories. I used it to catch Ron’s memories after he’d been cursed by Lucius Malfoy.” Harry’s lips tightened when he caught Hermione’s eye. “I brought you all here to show you something; I’m going to put a memory in here for all of you to see.”

“What?” Hermione shrieked. “Harry, you have no right to violate Ron’s trust like that! How could you do that to him?!”

“Not Ron’s memory, Hermione,” Harry corrected calmly. “Mine.”

Hermione flushed. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Forget it.” Harry took a deep breath. “I’m going to show you something that I saw at the end of my Fifth year at Hogwarts. Most of you know about it, and some of you know a lot more than others, but none of you were there. So again, I’m sorry if I repeat something you already know.

“At the end of my Fifth Year Voldemort was still working in secret. There was something in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry he wanted badly. I can’t say what, and it’s not important right now anyway. What matters is that Voldemort knew I could get it for him. So he tricked me; he made me think someone important to me was in the Department of Mysteries, being tortured. I fell for his ruse, and went to the Ministry; Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville and Luna all came with me. We all ended up fighting wand-to-wand with Death Eaters that night. It’s a miracle none of us died, although the p-” Harry blinked rapidly to clear his vision. “The person I’d gone to save arrived to help us, along with others, and he died in the fight.”

There was a murmur from the group; Harry ignored it. “Bellatrix Lestrange was the one who killed him,” he continued, noting how Neville’s face darkened at Bellatrix’s mention. “In anger I chased her to the lifts, and up to the entrance hall of the Ministry; and when I got there, Voldemort appeared. He almost killed me; he actually threw the Killing Curse at me – again, and he should know by now he just stinks at it where I’m concerned.” There were a few weak chuckles at the feeble joke. “The truth is, Dumbledore showed up and saved me. He and Voldemort fought, and eventually Voldemort fled, taking Bellatrix with him.”

Harry turned to the Pensieve. He raised his wand to his temple and murmured “Memorius Extreccen.” A thin wisp of silver light collected at the tip of his wand, and Harry transferred the memory from his mind to the Pensieve. “The memory I want to show you is the fight between Dumbledore and Voldemort,” Harry explained. “I saw the whole thing, and I’m probably the only person any of you know who’s seen Voldemort using his magic at its strongest…well, and lived to tell it.”

“Harry, why the bloody hell do you want us to see that?” Lee Jordan asked. “Are you trying to scare us?”

“Actually, yeah, I kind of am, Lee,” Harry replied. “Seamus said some things last night…and even though I don’t like them, that doesn’t mean they’re not true. He said we were like little kids playing with fire, and he was right. But none of you get that yet. I can tell you all what I saw, you can listen to other stories about how powerful he is, but unless you see it for yourself you’re never really going to understand. The things Voldemort can do are so far beyond us it should scare you, and it doesn’t yet, not really. Intellectually you all know you should be scared. But you’re not. You’re worried. You’re concerned. But you’re not properly terrified. And you have to be, or you’re going to walk into a situation thinking you can handle it, and you’re going to die.”

Silence followed Harry’s speech. He looked over the motley collection and saw mainly uncertainty. Well, good, he thought. That’s a start. “After you see this,” he said, “I’m going to give each of you the option of backing out of the D.A. again. You’d be Obliviated, and no one will think any less of you.” Turning back to the Pensieve, Harry gazed into the swirling mist inside. He looked briefly back over his shoulder and smiled wryly. “Pay close attention,” he added needlessly. He placed his wand in the Pensieve. “Memorius Displicare.”

*****

Harry sat on the edge of his bed. His glasses rested on his knee as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. It wasn’t even yet noon, but he felt like he’d been awake for days.

The rest of Dumbledore’s Army had been understandably shaken by the vision of Voldemort’s fight with Dumbledore; they all knew that Dumbledore’s magic had been that strong, but seeing that kind of power in the hands of someone so evil was enough to give anyone pause. Harry had given them all the day free from D.A. responsibilities, so what they’d learned could sink in.

The door swung open with a slight creak; Harry looked up and smiled wearily at Ginny. “So, have you reconsidered? Want to be Obliviated and go back to your mum and dad?”

Ginny closed the door and favored Harry with a sardonic look. “Didn’t we already have a conversation about how it won’t be that easy to get rid of me?”

“You call that easy?” Harry asked with a soft chuckle.

Ginny sat beside Harry on the bed and locked her eyes on his. “Harry, what you did this morning…you’re trying to push everyone away again. Don’t deny it; you’re hoping that most of the D.A. asks to be Obliviated.”

“Part of me is, yeah,” Harry admitted. “I won’t lie, Ginny, that desire to keep you out of danger never went away – if anything, it’s gotten stronger. And I know now that it’s never going to go completely. But I know you aren’t going to leave,” he added quickly as Ginny opened her mouth. “And since I couldn’t stand to be without you, I’m not going to complain.”

Ginny smiled shyly. “You know, I probably should be furious with you for wanting to coddle me, but I’m not. I- it probably sounds perverse, but I think it makes me happier, knowing you want to spare me any hardship you can.”

Harry shrugged. “This is the best we can do now; we can’t spare each other what’s coming, but we can hold each other up when it comes.” He grinned when Ginny flushed. “I really did mean what I said this morning, you know. The others had the right to see what we’re really facing. It’s kind of like…if I hadn’t told you about the prophecy, I could never have asked you to marry me. It wouldn’t have been fair. But since I did tell you, I know you’ve accepted it; the others had that same right, to know what they’re agreeing to.”

Ginny placed her hand lightly on Harry’s cheek. She traced the line of his jaw with her fingers, never taking her eyes off of his. “Harry,” she said gently, “I probably know you better than anyone in the world. You’ve opened yourself to me and let me see your fears, and I’ve realized something.

“You know what I’ve learned from being a Gryffindor? I’ve learned that there are a lot of different kinds of bravery. People can be brave out of obligation; they can be brave out of guilt, or responsibility or even because of a legacy they didn’t ask for.” She shook her head when Harry grimaced. “But those aren’t you, Harry. You’re brave because you feel for people so deeply that there is no choice for you; when someone you care about is in danger there’s literally only one thing you can do, and that’s to defend them with your life. You have the rarest kind of bravery; you’re brave because of love.”
Harry had to swallow to try to speak around the lump in his throat. “I don’t know any other way to be, Ginny,” he whispered.
Ginny leaned in close. “Of course you don’t,” she replied softly. “Why do you think I love you?”

“You mean it’s not because I’m a bit dangerous and mysterious?”

Ginny smiled at the shared joke. “Well, that helps,” she agreed, sitting back again. She regarded him carefully for a moment. “Harry, no one is going to choose to leave. You know that, right? Some of the others will be on edge from now on, but the D.A. isn’t going to be losing any members because of what you showed them today.”

Harry stared in surprise at Ginny. “I- I can’t believe that,” he stammered. “Given the choice, knowing what they do now…some of them will have to go. I mean, I would, if I could.”

“No you wouldn’t. Even if you weren’t destined to face Voldemort again, you’d stay. As long as he was still a threat to any of us, you’d stay.”

Harry finally dropped his eyes. “You know me too well, Ginny.”

Ginny smirked. “The prerogative of any wife.”

Harry chuckled hesitantly, but it didn’t last. “Ginn…I know you know that some of us are going to die.”

Ginny nodded, pulling Harry against her. “Some of us already have. Dumbledore. Sirius. Cedric. They were ours too, even if they weren’t in the D.A. And all the others we didn’t know, too – that man you told me about, Bode; Susan’s aunt; poor Hannah Abbott’s mum.”

“My parents,” Harry whispered.

“Your parents, too. Everyone who Voldemort’s taken had one thing in common; in one way or another, they all stood against him. And that’s what we’re doing, so it would be ridiculously naïve to think some of us won’t fall the same way. We’re walking the path of the ones who went before us.” She drew away from Harry, took his head in her hands and forced him to meet her eyes. “Harry, do you realize how much like your parents you and I are now? We’re young, we’re married; we’re fighting for the Light, with our friends at our side.”

Harry smiled in spite of himself. “It sounds a lot more pleasant when you say it like that.”

“Of course it does! Harry, I said it to my mum; what’s the point in being alive if we’re not living? Our lives are too precious to waste hiding from the terrors of the world. Your parents understood that.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, they did. And I wouldn’t dishonor their memory by doing any less.”

“And there isn’t a single member of the D.A. who will feel any other way,” Ginny insisted. “Before coming up here I saw Susan Bones, Neville and the Patil twins drag Lee off to one of the practice rooms so Lee could show them all that Self-Punching Hex he knows.” She glared fiercely at him. “So no more talk about Obliviating, understand? They’re not leaving. We’re not leaving.” She tugged Harry in until their mouths were a breath apart. “I’m not leaving.”

Ginny closed the distance between them. Her lips were small, and soft, and Harry accepted them with a passion that spoke volumes. Her body was his home, her tears were his drink and her kiss was the life of a dying man. Anything, he reminded himself again as he held her tightly. Anything’s worth it.