Counting the Days

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Disclaimer: I solemly swear that I do not own Harry Potter and/or any other characters used in this fic. They are all property of J.K. Rowling.

Additional disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the song Counting the Days by Goldfinger.

*

Draco left immediately afterwards. Not a backward glance was spared at Harry's disproportionate profile. Draco scoffed and sneered and strode directly out of the room. Harry watched him go with a broken expression on his face.

He couldn't control the actions of his so-called lover. He supposed this must be the end. Christmas was fast approaching. Harry's only request for a present had been bringing their relationship out in the open. Draco had been adamantly against the idea. He simply refused to give on that account.

"Please, Draco," Harry had pleaded. Draco just stood there, his arms crossed and his nose in the air.

"No, Harry. People do not need to know our business," He'd said firmly. Harry had sighed and walked up to him and wrapped his arms around his waist. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Draco's neck.

"But I just don't want to hide anymore," Harry had said sadly. Draco wiggled out of his grasp and turned to face him.

"Well, I'm not ready, so that's really your only option."

"My only option?" Harry had asked incredulously. Draco had nodded at him, as though it was obvious. "Excuse me, but there are many options for me."

"Really?" Draco had sneered. "Like what?" Harry was surprised at his audacity to ask such a question.

"Maybe I'll just find someone who treats me better and isn't ashamed of me." Draco's mouth had dropped open at these last words, but he quickly recollected himself and snapped it shut.

"If that's how you feel, maybe you should." Draco then turned and made his exit from the room.


So here I go, and there you went, again.
Just another stupid thing that I done wrong.


Draco stormed out of the room and made his way toward the dungeons. He stomped into the Slytherin common room and up to his room where he used several advanced locking charms to ensure no one would get through.

He threw himself angrily on his bed, trying desperately to control himself and not scream out in fury. He huffed loudly and had an incredible urge to strangle something. Since there was no one present who would allow such a thing, he instead grabbed his wand and had to content himself with blowing up part of the glass chandelier.

He couldn't believe him! How could he think he didn't care about what went on? Couldn't he tell that he wasn't embarassed by him!? Why was he making it so difficult? Just because he wasn't as open as some with his feeling didn't mean he didn't care!


Locked up in my head,
Knocked down, beaten, left for dead
With all those brilliant things I should have said.


Draco remained in his room for several hours that night, turning over the events of earlier. After many hours, he found his head full of all the things he ought to have said, instead of what he did. He realized Harry's request for coming out had not been so inventive.

He thought that perhaps he ought not to have been so harsh. And he probably shouldn't have suggested him finding someone else because in all likelihood, that was what he would do. Draco mentally hit himself for planting such an idea in the head of his boyfriend, or perhaps, ex-boyfriend.

Their relationship had been going on for about two months now. It had started with that fateful detention in which they found they could do something a little more useful with their mouths than fighting.

Draco sighed as he remembered their first experience. Snape and McGonagall had found them fighting, as usual, outside the Great Hall. Each had assigned the other a detention, to be served together.

Their assignment was clean all the desks in the Transfiguration room without killing each other. They had managed to survive, although, during that time, they also discovered their shared preference of men.

Draco had been forward in his attempts to seduce Harry. They had worked accordingly and therefore formed a sort of relationship. Harry had wanted to tell Hermione and Ron right away, but Draco had nixed the idea in favor of keeping it a secret.

Apparently Harry was not happy with the arrangement as of now. Draco rolled his eyes and growled into the pillow.


I gotta get away and find something to do,
'Cause everything I see, everything I hear, reminds me of you.


Draco felt under the pillow and pulled out a tiny sculpture, his Christmas present for Harry. It was a small red and gold Lion. The Lion had been enchanted to follow the owner around. Draco dropped it on the bed, disgusted at the sight.

The Lion jumped playfully around on the covers. Draco narrowed his eyes at the sight, wishing to get Harry out of his head. He scooped up the tiny creature and stuffed it in a box. A tiny discomforted growl could be heard as he shoved it under his bed.

He didn't need anymore reminders of Harry at this point. He rolled over onto his side and was immediately greeted by a red scarf hanging off his bedpost. He let out an angry noise and ripped the scarf off the post. He got up and stuffed it into his trunk.

Looking around the room, he couldn't help noticing that everything reminded him of Harry; the emerald green sheets, the black faux fur on one of Pansy's coats that had somehow made it into the room, no doubt because of Blaise.

Draco buried his face in his hands and made a decision. He had to get out of there. He strode to the door, pointedly ignoring the continuing miniscule roars from under the bed.

He left through the hidden door and went to join the rest at dinner. He entered the Great Hall and took his place next to Blaise. Blaise and Pansy both gave him an odd look. He glared at them and they backed off. He sat and moodily picked apart his dinner.

He glanced up once and his gaze fell on the Gryffindors. It was immediately drawn to the dark haired boy, sitting at the end of the table, picking dejectedly at his food. Draco watched him for half a second before returning to his own food.

Pansy and Blaise exchanged a glance. Pansy then leaned forward and quietly whispered to Draco.

"Draco, what's going on?" Draco looked up from his plate, a cold malice shining in his eyes.

"Nothing, Pansy. Why do you ask?" He asked coldly. Pansy glanced at Blaise who shrugged.

"You were locked in your room for quite awhile. Are you sure you're okay?"

"If you ever ask me that again, Pansy, rest assured, you will never be able to again." Pansy swallowed hard and moved quickly away from him. Draco ate the rest of his meal in silence.

He finally finished and left the room, amongst many whispers from the people surrounding him. He went out into the Entrance Hall and let loose some of his anger by exploding the suit of armor that was trying and failing to sing "The Twelve Days of Christmas."

Peeves zoomed out of it, cursing Draco. Draco was in no mood and sent a string of holly at him, wrapping it around his body and preventing him from moving. Draco left the cursing poltergeist and went back to the darkness of the dungeons.

Upon entering he sent a few choice curses at some first years settled by the fire. He was in a foul mood and no one dared question his motives. Pansy and Blaise returned shortly to the common room, only to find the first years panicking.

Blaise rolled his eyes and preformed the needed counter curses. He looked around, but Draco was nowhere to be seen. He assumed he must be sulking in his room again.

He sat down on the couch and Pansy joined him.

"What do you think his problem is?" She asked in annoyance. Blaise shrugged noncommittally.

"Probably Potter again," he said easily.

"What?" Pansy asked, intrigued.

"They've been 'going out' for awhile now. No one really knows."

"How do you know?"

"I know everything," Blaise said pompously a smirk growing on his face. Pansy laughed lightly and hit him softly on the arm.

"Of course you do," she commended. Blaise just smiled and pulled her closer.


Still counting the days I've been without you, 1, 2, 3, 4.
Still counting the days since you've been gone.


Draco spent several days dwelling on his actions. He couldn't get over the fact that he should have tried harder. He'd never wanted to lose Harry. He never wondered what would happen if Harry had become frustrated. He'd always assumed he would be happy.

He guessed he should have known it was coming. One can't always be happy forever.


Day one was no fun.


The first day after their fight, Draco locked himself away, refusing to talk to anyone. Blaise had made a futile attempt to capture his attention. He'd been helped to the hospital wing by Pansy later on.

Draco only dragged himself out of bed to eat. He saw little of anyone. What he saw of Harry was minimal. From Harry's appearance he could only tell that he seemed fine. This did not bode well with Draco.

How could he be fine when Draco was becoming a wreck? Draco's normally perfect hair became unkempt. He lacked the proper resources or motivation to keep himself well groomed. He growled at anyone who approached him, threatening worse that simple hexes.

At one point during dinner, he was brought out of his depression for a second when the Weasel called for his attention as he was leaving the Hall.

"Hey, Malfoy!" Ron called. Draco scowled, annoyed at the interruption to his day of sulking. He turned slowly where he stood and glared at him.

"What?" He growled. Ron looked a little taken aback at his tone. His demeanor was none too inviting either.

"What happened to you? Get in a fight with a grassmower?" He asked.

"Lawnmower," Hermione hissed from behind him. Draco simply looked confused.

"What?" He asked. Ron hesitated, this was not coming off quite as he had expected. Harry lingered in the background, refusing to meet Draco's eyes. Draco searched for him but got no response. He then turned his full attention to Ron.

"You look horrible," Ron said pointedly.

"Well, thank you for pointing that out, Weasel," Draco sneered. Ron's eyebrows furrowed. This Malfoy was not what he was used to and he didn't know what to do. He wasn't really fighting back.

"What happened? Did your girlfriend dump you?" Ron asked, trying to provoke him. Draco gave out a derisive laugh.

"For your information, I happen to be gay, not that I need to tell you," Draco drawled maliciously, his eyes drawn to Harry. Harry lifted his head and looked slightly surprised and confused. Ron looked back at Harry and then at Draco again.

Draco sneered one last time at Ron, then he turned and disappeared down the steps to the dungeons.


Day two I hated you.


The conversation of the previous day kept coming back to Draco. How Harry had just stood there, letting Ron do what he wanted was wearing on his thoughts. He hated the way Harry had done nothing.

All of the time they had been together, Draco had impressed upon Harry the importance of having his own ideas. When Dumbledore had been alive, he'd molded Harry to be the perfect little hero.

Draco had tried desperately to break that mold, to give him an idea of his own. Apparently it hadn't worked. Draco's blood boiled at the thought that he still let everyone walk all over him!

Draco was furious. Nothing could be said to calm him. Many of the Slytherins were terrified of his wrath and stayed well away whenever he appeared. Blaise was growing tired of the constant fear hanging over the common room and decided he must do something about it.

He carefully slid into the room in which Draco had situated himself. Draco narrowed his eyes as Blaise came closer.

"What are you doing in here?" He asked coldly.

"Well, I live here," Blaise replied simply. The response didn't seem to satisfy Draco. He continued to watch as Blaise circled the room.

"What do you want?" Draco asked, eager to remove him as quickly as possible so he could go back to hating Harry in peace. Blaise paused, while fingering a shirt.

"What is going on? And don't you say nothing because I know there is, and you won't scare me as easily as the first years." Blaise waited for the explosion he knew was coming.

"Fine, you want to know what's wrong!? I'll tell you what's wrong! It's simply this; Someone who I thought was gaining a mind of his own has just proven that nothing has changed! All my hard work gone to waste! I slave over this and how does he repay me? By accusing me of being ashamed of him! Yeah, that's how! And then he goes and lets his friend do whatever he cares! How can he say that I'm ashamed when he doesn't even come to my rescue when I need it, huh!?"

Draco ended his rant, his eyes flashing, and breathing hard. Blaise was a bit taken aback by the force of Draco's emotions. He knew that he and Harry had been together for awhile, yet he'd not supposed the attachment was so deep.

"Well, Potter's an oddball if I say so myself," Blaise amended. Draco turned his head so sharply he nearly got a crick in his neck.

"Who said it was Potter?" He asked sharply. Blaise just rolled his eyes.

"No one, but it's obvious." Draco mouth hung open for a second, staring at Blaise.

"Obvious?" He finally managed to stutter.

"Only to me. No one else is observant enough, except maybe Granger." Draco nodded absently, wondering how obvious they had really been. Maybe if they'd been a bit more obvious this wouldn't be a problem.


By day three I wished you'd come right back to me.


The day after his talk with Blaise, Draco was seriously lamenting his actions. He wondered how Harry was holding up and maybe there was a chance he would come back. Draco found himself watching him more and more at mealtimes.

Harry rarely looked up, barely acknowledging his presence. This utterly confused Draco. He stopped eating in favor of watching Harry. Pansy and Blaise kept a close watch, always making sure to turn away suspicion of any other Slytherin.

"Draco, stop watching him," Pansy hissed one meal. Draco sat up as though he hadn't realized what he'd been doing.

"Oh, damn it. I can't help it." Draco sighed and gazed longingly at Harry. Pansy reached over and pinched him. He jumped. "Fuck, Pansy! What did you do that for!?" Pansy scoffed.

"Stop being so obvious," she said through gritted teeth. Draco just glared at her.

He couldn't stop thinking about him. He wanted so badly for him to come back to him. He hated what he'd done and would take it back if ever given the chance.


Day four, five and six, well I guess you just don't give a shit.


Draco had almost completely given up on Harry ever coming back. No means of communication had been tried during the past few days. Harry wouldn't give Draco any kind of recognition. The cheeriness of the school was wearing on his nerves while he was so depressed.

Green and red fairies flew constantly around everyone. Draco was sorely tempted to send a few out the window and into the lake but was prevented by Pansy reminding him that he didn't need any more attention, good or ill.

Draco watched as the Golden Trio left the Great Hall after dinner one night and violently wished Harry was coming with him instead.

*

"Harry?" Hermione asked softly, coming up behind him where he sat in a plush armchair by the fire in the common room. Harry hastily wiped away a few tears that had been threatening to fall.

"Yeah, Hermione?" He responded, trying to control his voice and not let it waver. Hermione came around the chair and sat down in the one adjacent.

She took in Harry's appearance. He looked basically the same, although to the perceptive eye, it could be discerned that he was not himself. His smile was forced. The good humor that usually came so easily was reserved. He had not been eating well lately. His posture was lacking and he seemed to have lost the confidence he had gained in the past few months.

"Are you okay?" She asked delicately. They had been asking for several days but no response had been gathered. Harry smiled briefly, trying to convince her that he was fine.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, not continuing the conversation. Hermione frowned at his inadequate response.

"Harry, I know you're not," she said convincingly. Harry sighed and swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears that once again pricked the sides of his eyes. He sniffed, holding them back.

"It's nothing," he said quickly, hoping she would leave soon. Hermione sighed in frustration, tired of the run-around.

"It is not nothing. You will tell me what is wrong, Harry James Potter!" Hermione said commandingly. Harry placed his face in his hands, unable to stem the flood of tears that fell readily.

"It's nothing," he whispered, "that's just it. It was something, but I ruined it. I asked too much. He couldn't do it. Why did I do this?"

Hermione watched as her friend dissolved into silent tears. She'd had a feeling that it was bad, but how bad she'd no idea.

"Who, Harry?" She asked pressingly. Who had caused him so much pain? Or rather it sounded as though he might have caused the pain.

"I can't," he whispered despairingly into his hands.

"Please, Harry, tell me," Hermione asked softly. Harry sniffed again and lifted his head from his hands. His eyes were red and his cheeks tear-stained. He took a deep breath as though to compose himself.

"It's Draco..." he said softly. Hermione stared at him, unsure she had just heard him say that.

"What?" She asked slowly. Harry nodded in confirmation. Hermione let out a soft "Oh" as realization dawned on her, especially the other day when Ron had so openly attacked him.

"And what did you do?" She asked cautiously. Harry sniffed again and wiped fresh tears from his face.

"I asked for something he couldn't give, and now I'll probably never have him." Hermione's heart strings tugged at Harry's words and she couldn't help but pity him. She gathered him up in her arms and allowed him to cry to his hearts content.


Day seven this is hell, this is hell.


Draco paced around his room for the millionth time that week. He was dying inside. He wanted Harry back so badly. He was willing to do just about anything to get him back.

He was stuck in an eternal hell, unable to find a way out. Blaise was no help. All he did was prevent him from making an ass out of himself by staring at Harry too much. The happiness of Christmas was making him want to vomit.

The constant presence of everything red and green laughed in his face as a reminder of Harry. He couldn't shake the images their fight and the words that had been said. He found himself wondering if maybe he hadn't pushed so hard, they wouldn't be in this mess.

Maybe he should have agreed with Harry. Maybe it was time that they came out! What was the harm anyway? Being gay in the wizarding world was no big deal. Voldemort was gone so there was so danger of Draco's father accusing him of treachery.

Sure it would disappoint millions of young witches who had their heart set on marrying either The Boy Who Lived or the Malfoy heir but who cares? It's not like other people didn't know they were gay separately. Hell, Draco had slept with most of them.

There was really no present danger of them coming out. Draco had just liked to think of their relationship as special, something they didn't need to share with the world.


A thousand things I want to say to you, but it's too late now.


Of course, Draco had never told him that. He preferred to think that Harry would somehow know already. That was not exactly how it came about. Harry was not psychic and could therefore not know what Draco was thinking.

Draco longed to tell him that he couldn't live without him. He tossed and turned at night, desperately trying to find a way to fix what he'd done. He wondered if there was any possible chance of fixing their predicament.

Draco watched Harry constantly, nothing of his movements went without notice. Draco could see that Harry was less than happy. It pained him to know he had caused it. He resolved to fix it if he ever got the chance.

Fortunately he was in luck and got such a chance on a Monday morning when, in Care of Magical Creatures, Hagrid had the idea of pairing them together.

Draco held his breath as Harry walked slowly and unwillingly up to his side. He said nothing to Draco, just sat down next to him on the grass. Draco eyed him nervously, trying to choose the best words possible.


A thousand things I want to say.


"Harry," he started, slightly stilted. Harry looked up at him, surprised at being adressed in public by his first name. "There's something...I wanted to...I just..." Draco couldn't seem to find the correct words.

Harry was watching him closely with something close to hope rising on his face. Unbeknownst to them, Blaise, Pansy, and Hermione were all listening closely as well.

"Yeah?" Harry prompted, fearful of Draco losing his train of thought which could prove good. Draco paused and took a deep breath then let it out slowly.

"Harry, I love you. And I'm sorry. If you want to tell people, we can. That is, if we're even still together..." Draco trailed off, watching Harry apprehensively. Harry stared at him, wondering what had brought this amazing change in the Draco he'd known.

"Harry?" Draco asked in concern. Harry realized that he'd been silent for several minutes. He snapped himself out of it and smiled warmly at Draco.

"I would love that," he said and leaned forward and captured his lips in a surprised kiss. Draco's eyes immediately drifted closed. Harry slipped his hands around his waist and pushed him onto his back.

Harry ran his tongue around Draco's lower lip, begging entrance which he was immediately granted. Harry made to deepen the kiss but was interrupted by a shrill scream. The boys broke apart and Harry looked up to see a white-faced Ron.

"I can't believe what I'm seeing!" He yelped. Harry grinned sheepishly. The rest of the class was staring in astonishment. Blaise, Pansy, and Hermione were all smiled in a satisfied kind of way. When Ron received no answer, he took of running toward the castle. Harry turned to Draco.

"Everyone's going to know now," he told Draco. Draco smiled and kissed him softly.

"I'm counting the days," Draco told him with a smile. Harry grinned at him and pounced on him once more.


fin

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A/N: it's another song fic! I think i like those. Tell me if you do ~_^

If it's seems to be written differently, blame Pride and Prejudice. I've been reading it lately.

Read, review, and until next time!