For you

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of J.K. Rowlings intellectual works. Neither do I own "For You" by Staind, I just like both of them.

Warning: Contains HBP spoilers, angst and character death, don't hate me if it sux I don't usually do a lot of angst, I'm too happy reading fanfic :)


I sat in my room staring at the trunks packed and ready for tomarrow at the foot of my bed. It had been an eventful summer and I would be going back to Hogwarts tomarrow for my sixth year. I had already been to diagon alley and made all the arrangements for what was to come. Despite my fear for the future events already set to start, I was ready.

The next morning came to quickly, riseing brighter than my mood had been in many years, bringing my mother to my door to fetch me.

"Draco, get up, it's time to leave. And remember what must be done, you can't afford to dissapoint us this time, the lord will not be pleased."

It was something I feared hearing even though it was a commonly said thing in this house.

To my mother, to my father
It's your son or it's your daughter
Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me?
Should I turn this up for you?

The work in the Room of Requirment was long and lonely, the only thing to keep me occupied were my thoughts. As I work all I can think of are past failures... loseing quidich games, less than perfect grades, my innability to please my father. The last one was probably not the best thing to think as I found myself on the floor crying as I remembered everytime I came home from school.

{Why aren't you on the house team? Your worthless, can't you do anything right!? Letting a snivelling muggle lover like Potter be better than you...

"I got you on the team Draco, and you couldn't even been a house full of mudbloods. I don't Know why I let your mother keep you

"The mudblood bitch got better grades than you again didn't she? You don't even deserve to be a Malfoy"}

The next morning I awoke in the same position and began working harder than ever.

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you said
The silence gets us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere way too fast!


I came home for Christmas break to find mother cold and indifferent towards me, acting like I wasn't even there. I just she expects me to fail as well.
Sometimes I wish I could be Potter, he has everyone willing to throw themselves over a cliff for him. I hate him for that, he takes for granted everyone that loves him and would do anything for him. I wish he could feel what I do just once, this is all his fault and he should die.


The silence is what kills me
I need someone here to help me
But you don't know how to listen
And let me make my decisions

I've had to put a silenceing charm on my hangings at night. Apparently my nightmares are disturbing the other occupants of the room and I don't need them knowing how worthless I am as well. Only a few more weeks and I'll be able to prove to everyone that I am worth something. Then maybe mother will speak to me again, instead of looking through me as if I'm not there.

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you said
The silence gets us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere way to fast!

I found a letter from my father in the bottom of my trunk today. I don't know how longs it's been here, but even with him gone I'm afraid to open it. It's probably a reminder of how I've failed him as a son. I don't think I can take that anymore. I don't know if I'll ever be who he wants me to be, I just can't live up to his expectations, I'm too flawed.

All your insults and your curses make
me feel like I'm not a person
And I feel like I am nothing but
you made me so do something
'Cause I'm fucked up because you are
Need attention, attention you couldn't give

I finally did it, the Death Eaters are in the castle because of me. Now all I have to do is kill Dumbledore and I'll have succeded where no one else could. Maybe then they'll accept me.
But I can't do it, I can't make myself kill him. Oh god, it's true, I am worthless. Father's right I can't do anything Snape had to do it for me. When he looked at me after we were out of the castle I knew that even he hated me. I shouldn't be here, I'm no good to anyone and I never have been.

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you said
The silence get us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere way to fast

No one has bothered me since we got back to the manor, no one's even come looking for me. It's quiet up here on the tower, peacefull almost, and I understand what I'm supposed to do. I think of everything I've ever done and I let go. The air rushing passed me is wonderfully loud in my ears. I'm finally free in this last moment and I know that soon my family will be to. They'll be happy at last.

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you said
The silence get us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere way to fast