50 Ways to Effectively Annoy Draco Malfoy

"OWWW!" I had tripped and fell down the stairs. When I looked back up I saw my friends running down the stairs to help and I saw HIM. Draco Malfoy was standing at the top of the stairs laughing hysterically.


I narrowed my gaze into a glare and directed it at Malfoy. He was unaffected but it made my friends look back and see him too. They scowled and ran the rest of the way down the stairs.


"Nothing bothers him. He'd kill someone and laugh about it." Celine said.


Kaylie just nodded her head and kept walking.


Celine Biggerstaff (Meh: ROFL! I did that on purpose.) and Kaylie White were my best friends. Celine was a very optimistic person and all-in-all she was a fun person that you couldn't help but love. She was very short and skinny with longish platinum blond hair and a very pale complexion. She was a Hufflepuff like Kaylie and I but we think she should've been better off in Gryffindor. She was also in sixth year.


Kaylie White was Celine's COMPLETE opposite. She was quiet, really quiet. In fact, Kaylie almost NEVER spoke. She was really smart though. She was like, Ravenclaw smart. But she was in Hufflepuff. Stuck there like the rest of us were. She had long brown hair and she was 5" 7'. She had a petite frame and was very pretty. But no one ever saw that because she wasn't a slut and she didn't flaunt herself.


And last of all, there was me. Kira Elizabeth Ottens. I had long dirty blond hair that reached my waist. I was about 5 feet 8 inches and I wasn't fat but I DEFINITELY wasn't super skinny. I was clumsy as hell and wore emo glasses. Besides the glasses, I looked like the prefect preppy girl that every parent hopes for. But I still listened to punk music like Good Charlotte, Simple Plan, and Green Day.


(Meh: I'm sorry if some people don't think those bands are punk but that's what I consider punk music so LIVE WITH IT!)


"I bet you couldn't find 50 things that annoy him!" Kaylie's voice broke my thoughts.




"I bet I could find 50 things." I spoke up. Even though I was shy I never backed down from a bet.


"Right..." Celine retorted.


"I COULD! I'll bet you 5000 galleons that I can find 50 things that annoy him!"




Kaylie spoke up. "Well how long do you have to find these things?"




"TWO MONTHS!" Celine shouted out.


"Fine. I bet 5000 galleons that in two months I'll find 50 ways to effectively annoy Draco Malfoy."


"Deal." Celine said and shook my hand. Then we finished walking down to breakfast.


I was happily stuffing my face with eggs when I heard a voice.


"Well, well, well. You're starting to look a little fat Ottens." Malfoy.




"At least I'm not anorexic like SOME people." I retorted.




The smirk didn't leave his face. "And who would these 'some people' be?"


Well that ruined it... "YOUR MOM!"




"Yes, my mom has been looking rather skinny. Unlike SOME people." Draco said and walked off.




"Ooh, BURN!" Celine yelled.




We both laughed for a minute and then I spotted Harry Potter sitting at the Gryffindor table. Wheels began turning in my twisted mind.




I was still plotting when I began walking to Divination with the Gryffindors.


Kaylie, being the quiet person she is, didn't say anything. But I could tell she knew that I was plotting something.


And I was...


After divination I saw Harry walking away. I had never really talked to him before. Well, actually, I had never even noticed him before.


"Harry!" I called out while I was running to catch up with him.


He turned around and I realized that I was still running... And I couldn't stop. I crashed right into Harry and we tumbled about 5 feet down the hallway.




I ended up hitting my head on the stone wall and blacking out.


Real smart Kira...


Who are you?


I'm... YOUR MOM!




...




Ok fine. I'm your schizophrenic self.


I'm a schizophrenic?




Now you are.




Great... I hit my head and I become schizophrenic. I should've kept ignoring Harry. Wait, why was I going to talk to him in the first place?


*sigh* You need his help for your evil plot to destroy-I mean annoy Draco Malfoy.




Oh yeah...




I was supposed to tell you something... OH YEAH! Wake up.


... I hope we never meet again.


Tough luck, you're stuck with me.




I suddenly heard voices.




Not more...


THAT'S CELINE YOU IDIOT!




Really?




"KIRA ELIZABETH OTTENS! WAKE UP THIS INSTANT OR I'LL POKE YOU!"




Yup, Celine...




I groaned and my eyes began to open.




"OH MY MERLIN KIRA YOU SCARED US!" Celine screamed, much to the dismay of Madame Pomfrey, and wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a giant bear hug.


"Pain..." I managed to squeak out.




Celine let go of me and grinned when Kaylie gave me a friendly hug without saying anything.


"Well, Kira it looks like you're okay to go." Madame Pomfrey said to me and ushered Kaylie and I out of the room. She kind of pushed Celine.




When the doors were closed behind us Celine turned around and flashed them the finger.


"I'll see you guys later. I've got something I need to do." I said and walked away before my friends could say anything.


I had no clue where Harry was but I was determined to win the bet. I was going to find Harry no matter what I had to do.




Five Hours Later


Ok, not one of my smarter ideas. I thought as I hiked up the staircase to the Hufflepuff common room. I had FINALLY found Harry and explained my idea to him. He seemed very happy with the idea of finding 50 ways to annoy his worst enemy but he was a little freaked when I told him my idea.


I tripped on the stairs and fell flat on my face. My legs were numb from running all over the castle.


I heard a familiar laugh and I wanted to just sink into the ground. Malfoy...




"Watch your step Ottens. I heard that the stairs have killed people."


Draco's POV


Kira lifted herself off the stairs. She was actually kind of pretty. But she was just so fun to laugh at. A clumsy Hufflepuff. Jackpot...


"You wont be laughing when someone gets you back Malfoy."


"Who would be stupid enough to try anything with me?"


I saw the gleam in Kira's eyes and made a mental note to be wary of her. She ended up not saying anything and just walking out.




Should I be afraid?


Yeah... I should be afraid, very afraid. BUT, I'm Draco Malfoy and she's just a Hufflepuff. What's SHE going to do to ME?




Kira's POV


Muahahaha! He looked so scared!


I should act crazy in front of Malfoy more often.


Wait... He showed an emotion other than that damn smirk of his. O_O I'M A MIRACLE WORKER! Go Kira. Go Kira.


I grabbed my black iPod nano from my bedside table and put on Christmas List by Simple Plan. I knew all the words by heart and began to sing along.


Santa is coming tonight

And I want a car, and I want a life

And I want a first class trip to Hawaii

I want a lifetime supply

Of skittles & slurpees and Eskimo pies

I want a DVD,

A big screen TV

Just bring me things that I don't need



I started dancing to the song.


'Cuz now it's Christmas

And I want everything

I just can't wait

Christmas

So don't stop spending

I want a million gifts, that's right

Don't forget my Christmas list tonight

'Cuz now it's Christmas

Somebody take me away

Or give me a time machine

To take me straight to midnight

I'll be alright

I want a girl in my bed

Who knows what to do

A PlayStation 2

I want a shopping spree

In New York City

Just bring me things that I don't need



'Cuz now it's Christmas

And I want everything

I just can't wait

Christmas

So don't stop spending

I want a million gifts, that's right

Don't forget my Christmas list tonight

'Cuz now it's Christmas



I wish I could take this day

And make it last forever

And no matter what I get tonight

I want more

It's Christmas and I want everything

I just can't wait

It's Christmas and I want everything now



Christmas

And I want everything

I just can't wait

Christmas

So don't stop spending, I

Want a million gifts,

That's right

And I can't wait 'til midnight

Don't forget my Christmas list tonight

'Cuz now it's Christmas


When the song was finished I looked up and saw that my roommates had entered.


"Erm... hi..." I said sheepishly and began inching back towards my bed.


My 4 roommates were Allison Fawning, Suzy Peters, Maria Jones, and Dawn Willows. And I hated them all. The Hufflepuff "in" crowd.




Just the thought of that made me want to crack up.




"Kira, what the heaven were you doing?" Allison asked me. You see, my roomies were suck-ups. They sucked-up to anyone with more power than them. So instead of saying "what the hell" or "what the heck" they said "what the heaven." Mainly because they hated the word 'heck.'


"I was dancing. Why the hell were you watching me? Are you gay or something?"


"We know YOU'RE gay but what am I?" Maria asked me.




I stared at them blankly. "You're gay."


The 'pops' as I like to call them, started trying to think of an insult.


"Oh yeah, well you're fat." They all said at the same time.


"I'm not the one who eats a tic-tac EVERY DAY! Do you know how many calories are in just 1" I said making them freak out because they had tic-tacs after every meal.


I watched them all run to the bathroom so they could stick their fingers down their throats but they all got stuck in the doorway. I just laughed hysterically at them and went to bed.




The next day I went downstairs to breakfast just in time to see Draco storming out of the great hall.


50 ways to effectively annoy Draco Malfoy


1. Have Harry make out with his girlfriend.