Say It Like You Mean It

Disclaimer: I don\'t own anything J.K.R. owns it all, and no one is more upset by that than me. *tear*

A/N: This is something that just wouldn\'t leave me alone...To anyone who\'s waiting for the next chapter of \"Remember Me Always\" I beg your patience! I\'ve written and scrapped chapter six three times now, and I\'ve gotten to the point where I\'m going to post what I have even though I\'m not crazy about it.

Say it like you mean it

London’s downtown was as busy as it had ever been. Bums and lawyers alike considered the city their home, content in its workings. There were rather meager homes as well as those posh enough to be featured in glossy magazines which boasted wealth. The quiet peace of a rather upscale London flat was currently being disrupted by the furious bickering of its inhabitants.

“Why don’t you want anyone to know about us?”

“It’s just not the right time, Harry. We’ve gone over this a million times; why do we have to tell people anyway? They can figure it out on their own.”

“Are you ashamed or something? You said that you’d be fine going public when we left school. You figured it’d be easier to admit that you were gay if you didn’t have to face anyone afterward. Well I was patient, even though you were being an idiot. But what makes me think you’re ashamed is the fact that we left school over a month ago!

“We live together Draco! The people in our building know what we are, but it wouldn’t matter because they’re muggles. No one that we actually know has any idea what our relationship is. Ron and Hermione know that I’m involved very seriously with someone who isn’t willing to go public with me.

It’s actually gotten to the point that Hermione’s trying to talk me into seeing someone else for the simple fact that she believes our relationship is unhealthy. And you know why she says this to me? Because she believes that if you truly loved someone you wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret. Either that or she thinks I’ve finally cracked and that I’m just making this whole relationship up. Do you know how shitty that makes me feel? I can’t do this anymore Draco; I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want anyone to know that he loves me.”

“That’s not how it is Harry. I’m not ashamed of you. What I’m thinking of is your life. What’s everyone going to think when the great Harry Potter, Savior of the wizarding world, shows up at a Ministry ball not only with another man as his date, but a man that everyone believes is a Death Eater?

“God! Half of the loons out there are terrified you’ll decide to up and take the Dark Lord’s place now that he’s gone. Showing up with me is not going to ease their minds you know!”

“Do you really think I care what a bunch of closed minded idiots think about me? Please, give me more credit than that. I know exactly who and what you are. You are the man that I’m in love with. You fought with me against Voldemort. You are a Malfoy and that means that you’re still a cocky shit who knows how to get what he wants and won’t take anything from anyone.

“Plus, anyone who is a real friend of mine, who really loves me, knows that I’m not into birds and will accept you for the simple fact that I love you. No one else matters.”

“Look Harry, I want you to go to that ball, play hero, and be what they all expect you to be. Then, I want you to come back and make love to me. When the time is right we’ll come out together, until then…well, can’t you just be patient with me?”

“I don’t know. I love you so much it hurts sometimes.”

Stepping forward, Draco took Harry into his arms and just held him breathing in his scent.

“I’m sorry I’m not as brave as you are. I will tell everyone I have ever known that you’re the one I love. Just don’t make me do it tonight. If we came out tonight it’d be in the paper tomorrow.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Seeing the expression on Draco’s pale face Harry conceded, “Alright fine, I’ll just go alone and see what happens tonight. If I’m lucky I’ll be able to sneak out early.”

“You? You’re the reason for the party. I think they’ll notice if you leave early.”

“Fine! I’ll leave whenever. Right now I need to get dressed and play hero for the Ministry.”

“Don’t be upset with me, please.”

“Why should I be upset with you? You don’t want anyone to know that you’re gay and in love with another man. Why on earth would I be upset!?” Harry bit out sarcastically.

“Harry I do love you.”

“Yeah well, I wish you wanted everyone else to know that.”

With that Harry left Draco standing in the middle of their flat.

“I do want them to know.”

~oOo~

“Harry would you cheer up?”

“I’m sorry Mione, I’m just not up to this tonight.”

“I know you hate balls, and the Ministry for that matter, but you don’t have to be miserable. You’re not alone at least; you’ve got me and Ron.”

“And that blond who’s been staring at you for the last twenty minutes.”

“What?” Harry asked perking up. For some reason he had half expected to look up and see Draco smiling at him, like a knight in shining armor there to confess his love, and beg Harry to forgive him for acting like and idiot. Unfortunately the blond in question was lacking a y chromosome.

~oOo~

“Look who just walked in without a date.”

“Hmm,” her friend responded. “Oh, Potter.”

“Yeah; he went to school you didn’t he?”

“Yes, what’s your point?”

“No point, just curious.”

“Right, cousin.”

“He’s single isn’t he?”

“Yes, and last time I checked he was also into guys.”

“I seriously doubt that.”

“Doubt all you like, doesn’t make it any less true.”

“Maybe in your limited mind. Watch this”

“Marie, you really think you can land Harry Potter?”

“I know I can. Just look at me,” the blonde said doing a turn.

“I take it you’re going to win him over with your humility and wit then,” her friend retorted sarcastically.

“Who needs that rubbish when you’re an heiress?”

“I’ve got ten galleons that says you can’t”

“Fine, watch me.”

~oOo~

“Hi, I’m Marie.”

“Hi.”

Okay not exactly eloquent, or interesting, but Harry just wanted this woman to go away so that he could suffer through his night in peace.

“I noticed you came alone and, if it wasn’t too much to ask, I was wondering if you’d like to dance.”

“Go on mate.”

“Ron, stop it.”

“What? There’s nothing wrong with dancing at a ball.”

“Marie, I’m sure that you’re a lovely woman but—“

“But he’s engaged. His fiancé couldn’t come tonight because he’s ill.”

Sometimes Harry loved Hermione so much he wished he was straight; almost.

“Oh. Well, it’s just an innocent dance,” Marie said in a way that Harry supposed was supposed to be seductive.

“No, I’m not trying to be rude but, I am involved with someone and I highly doubt that he’d like it if there was a picture of me dancing with some strange woman in the prophet tomorrow.”

“Goodbye Marie.” Hermione cut in before the woman could protest.

~oOo~

“I believe you owe me ten galleons.”

“Shut up Millie.”

~oOo~

“Bella, this will never work.”

She shot a murderous glare at her brother in law. “Won’t work? Why, pray tell, do you believe this won’t work?”

“The ministry has wards all over the building made to detect dangerous and illegal magic.”

“Oh yes, that’s why we were unable to break into the ministry for the Dark Lord two years ago. That must completely explain why no one showed up when we were firing off dark magic every two seconds,” Bellatrix sneered.

Rabastian looked sheepish and turned away from his sister-in-law. The woman was twice as scary as she was brilliant in his mind, and he knew better than to cross her.

“This can be a final revenge for our Lord. That brat Potter may have taken him from us, but by our hands the Dark Lord will have his vengeance.”

~oOo~

“Alright Draco. You love Harry. You want him to be happy. Grow a pair and go to that ball!”

Psyching himself out was definitely not working. He had gotten dressed and looked as perfect as he ever had as soon as Harry left. Okay so maybe ‘as soon as Harry left’ wasn’t accurate. It had taken Draco a half an hour to talk himself into getting dressed, and at the rate he was currently going, the ball would be over by the time he was willing to go.

Harry was the one who did noble, sweet, fairytale type things not Draco!

“I can do this. All I have to do is apparate into the atrium and take the lifts to the main ball room. That isn’t difficult. Hell, a Hufflepuff could do that.

“Shit, I can’t do this!”

Draco may have been trying to talk himself into believing that he was staying in the closet for Harry’s sake, but that was quite opposite to the truth. The truth was, Draco was scared shitless. What were people going to think of him? His father had always taught him to believe that his reputation was the most precious asset he had.

Fat lot of help that gave his father. Lucius Malfoy had died, rotting in a cell in Azkaban; hardly top marks for his reputation there. Draco was queer, big deal? He’d known that since he was thirteen and had started having inappropriate dreams about Professor Snape. However admitting and knowing something were two very separate things. It was one thing to be totally honest with himself or his lover, but the whole wizarding world?

“I can do this. You’re a Malfoy; ergo you are better than everyone else at that stupid ball. Well, except for Harry, but hey, at least he’s your lover. After all, no one but me can say that they’re fucking the wizard that kicked the Dark Lord’s arse.”

Raising himself purposefully from his perch on the sofa, Draco took a deep breath…and sat back down.

“Coward,” he accused looking into the mirror to his right.

~oOo~

“We at the Ministry would like to thank Harry Potter for his assistance to the Ministry in the defeat of You-Know-Who.”

Harry snorted at this comment. ‘Assistance’? He killed Voldemort with the help of the Order. All the Ministry of Magic did was take credit.

“For his bravery, we would like to present Mr. Potter with this Order of Merlin, First Class.”

The assembled crowd applauded loudly as a spotlight picked Harry out of the mass. He nodded his head graciously, all the while wishing he were somewhere else.

~oOo~

Forty minutes later, Draco had moved from the sofa in the living room to the kitchen. He had resigned himself to cowardice and was currently preparing himself something to eat while he waited for Harry to get home.

He had forgone his expensive dress robes in favor of a pair of low slung, plaid, pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. He had just put the finishing touches on a rather elaborate bacon sandwich when the platinum bracelet on his left wrist began to burn.

Harry had picked out this piece of jewelry and it was for that reason that Draco deemed to wear it. Harry wore a matching one at all times. Originally it had been meant as a personal ward to warn the pair if danger was near. After the war Draco and Harry had continued to wear them for sentimental reasons.

It had been months since Draco had felt anything from this piece of jewelry. When it went icy cold against his flesh, it was a sign that danger was near him; a warning to get away as fast as possible. When it burned hot, it meant that Harry was in danger.

Fear gripped Draco’s heart as he apparated away from his flat, sandwich and inappropriate dress forgotten.

~oOo~


“What’s wrong,” Hermione asked Harry, as the young man had suddenly gone very still.

“Something’s wrong; we’re in danger.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do. Look, we need to get out of here.”

“We can’t leave everyone here though.”

“I know we can’t, I just don’t know how. However if you’ve got an idea as to how to get all of these people out of here without causing a panic, I’d like to hear it.”

Before either of them were able to come up with anything, an explosion could be heard in the distance. The room was filled with screaming witches and wizards, tripping over their expensive robes as they rushed toward the exits.

“So much for not causing a panic.”

~oOo~

Unknown to all those enjoying themselves within it, two figures apparated from the Ministry building after setting off a domino effect of curses.

Each level of the underground building was set to collapse within seconds of the others. Level ten was gone; rubbish and stone which would be explained away by muggles who found pieces of it in the underground.

Nine, then eight, blown to pieces. It wasn’t until level seven went that those at the party became aware that something was wrong, and the floor they were on was scheduled to collapse in minutes.

Many ill thinking witches and wizards scrambled for lifts while others ran to the stairs; cursing the fact that apparition wasn’t possible except for in the atrium.

People ran as the walls fell around them, many were trapped beneath stone and other debris.

Had the Ministry not been situated out of the way of prying eyes, a great deal of London would have been shocked at what they saw; people appearing out of thin air dressed in robes, many bloodied or cradling broken appendages.

~oOo~

Draco got to the broken telephone booth just as people started to apparate around it. There were a few who looked no more than shocked and scared, while others looked as though they had been severely beaten.

Draco ran through the crowd looking for Harry. He couldn’t spot the spiky mop of black hair or the emerald green dress robes that he had picked out for his lover only hours ago. He tried to apparate into the building to look for Harry himself, but he couldn’t. The building had been damaged to the point that a safety mechanism was preventing anyone from getting inside. The phone booth was the same way; it rejected him.

Searching the crowd as thoroughly as he could and not finding his love, Draco’s legs gave out from under him, and he sat on the dirty asphalt crying pitifully.

At the sound of several arrivals, Draco looked up wiping off his tear stained face and searched the new faces for Harry. There! He was there!

Draco began to cry again, for a different reason this time, and ran to his lover.

~oOo~

Harry had finally made it out of the atrium when he found his arms full of a weeping Draco.

The blonde pulled back and kissed Harry fiercely on the mouth; almost as if he couldn’t believe he was there. Draco held Harry firmly against himself, his hands buried in the brunette’s dark hair. Draco pulled away from Harry to look him in the eye.

“Oh God, I thought you were dead! When you weren’t up here with everyone else…” Draco’s whole body started to shake and he pulled Harry back to him.

Harry sat where he was, in his dress robes, with Draco in his lap. Draco’s legs were wrapped around his waist, his arms around Harry’s neck, and his face buried in his chest.

“I don’t know what I’d do if you hadn’t been okay. I’m so sorry Harry. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell everybody before. If I had lost you tonight, no one would have known. I wouldn’t have even been allowed to go to your funeral.

“I wouldn’t be able to grow old with you.” At that Draco again began to shake, and clutched Harry closer.

The couple huddled against the broken phone booth didn’t notice the crowd they were drawing. Most people didn’t recognize Draco, as he had his face hidden, but anyone who had ever known him personally did; namely, Ron and Hermione.

The couple also failed to notice when pictures were snapped of them; they didn’t care that his was a traumatic event for the pair, the press smelled news.

“Take me home Harry,” Draco said pulling away to look into the brunette’s eyes.

“Anything you want,” he responded softly. At that, the pair disappeared from the crowd.

~oOo~

Harry apparated Draco and himself directly into their bedroom where he was immediately lead to the bed. Draco was normally submissive in their relationship, preferring to have Harry take care of him.

This time however, he needed to claim Harry’s body; he needed to reassure himself that Harry was still with him and not buried in the pile of rubble that used to be the Ministry of Magic.

Pushing Harry gently down onto his back, Draco climbed on top of him and just studied his lover. Harry had always been beautiful to him. He had a pale, but warm, complexion which complimented his dark hair and clear eyes. He was so physically the opposite of Draco.

Draco knew that he was an attractive man, but he was nothing like Harry. Draco was pale to the point of being ghostly, with almost white hair and grey eyes. The pair complimented each other perfectly.

Leaning down, he touched his and Harry’s lips together in a gentle, almost chaste, kiss. He placed feather light kisses across Harry’s face; his eyelids, cheeks, nose and back to his mouth. Nipping at the corners of Harry’s mouth, Draco swiped his tongue across his bottom lip, coaxing his lover to allow him entrance.

He worked his way down Harry’s jaw line, to his neck, sucking on the sensitive spot he knew was below his love’s ear. His hands went to the buttons of Harry’s shirt and began to undo them. Upon revealing the smooth, muscled, chest Draco left his mark on Harry’s neck and leaned back to admire the brunette’s body. Draco mapped out each plane of muscle; first with his hands then following with his tongue.

~oOo~

Harry ran his hands through Draco’s hair as the blonde licked a trail down to his member. He sat up, removing his shirt and outer robe completely. Draco was less than pleased at being disturbed, but he hardly resisted when Harry leaned in to kiss him; his tongue coming out to meet his.

Harry turned so that Draco was on his back. Making quick work of the blonde’s shirt, Harry took one of Draco’s pale pink nipples into his mouth, sucking and nibbling as Draco moaned out his pleasure.

The pair stroked and tasted each other’s bodies leisurely; committing every line, every muscle, and every detail to memory.

And when Harry finally did let Draco make love to him; when he finally let him claim him as his own all over again, it was so agonizingly slow and sensual sweet, that it brought tears of overwhelming to the blonde’s eyes.

They belonged to each other; there was no other explanation for it. And when the prophet posted pictures of Harry holding Draco and of Draco kissing Harry, the next day, they acted as though nothing had changed. Because, in truth, nothing had.


~End~