Keeping Secrets

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Please Note: This story is complete, and I will be updating with a new chapter every other day or so.
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\"Piss off you stupid mudblood whore!\" Draco hissed, ducking as the object Hermione had thrown at him passed precariously close to his head. Fortunately for him it missed and struck the wall behind him. \"Stupid bitch, that almost hit me in the head!\"

\"That was the point, dim wit!\" Hermione yelled back grabbing up one of her large text books and lobbing it at Draco. This time he wasn\'t so lucky; the book smacked into his shoulder infuriating him further.

He was so angry, he stalked forwards, moving to stay level with her as she tried to dodge out of his way, and slammed her into the wall.

\"If you ever throw something at me again I will make you seriously regret it,\" Draco whispered menacingly.

\"Malfoy, let me go, please,\" Hermione said as a wave of nausea rolled over her.

\"And just why should I do that?\" Draco teased back.

\"BECAUSE IF YOU DON\'T I\'LL THROW UP ALL OVER YOU!\" Hermione yelled, convincing Draco who hurriedly let her go and watched her dash to the bathroom where he soon heard retching through the door.

Draco shook his head; that had been the second time that day that he had heard her throwing up in the bathroom and he tired not to worry about it but it was hard, no matter how much he tired he still like the girl even though he would never let her know about it.

He went across the common room and sat down being head boy and head girl, him and Hermione had their own tower. It was decorated in a combination of gold and silver except for their separate bedrooms which were decorated in their house colors or red and green, Hermione and his own respectively.

He wondered if he should ask her if she was ok, or tell her to go see Pomfrey, not that he wanted to show anything but hate for the mudblooded witch but twice in one day? And today hadn\'t been the first day Hermione had been praising the porcelain gods. He took a deep breath and got up and strode back across the commons and knocked on the door.

\"Are you okay in there?\" Draco asked sincerely.

\"Sod off!\" He heard muffled slightly by the door between them and that made up his mind he looked outside of the commons to the hallway and sure enough there were Crabbe and Goyle standing guard at the door. \"You go get Madam Pomfrey, tell her its extremely important that she comes here right away,\" Draco ordered and Crabbe scurried off towards the hospital wing.

Draco had to wait an agonizing four minutes of hearing Hermione\'s retching through the bathroom door until Madam Pomfrey arrived from the hospital wing looking very irritated to have been dragged from her beloved infirmary by the burley seventh year. Her demeanor, however, softened when she saw Draco pacing in front of the bathroom and heard Hermione within.

\"Miss Granger? I\'m coming in,\" the Healer informed the young witch before using her wand and breaking through the locking charms on the door that were keyed to allow her through in case of emergency. She walked through the door quickly shutting the door behind her so that Hermione could have some privacy, not much since pretty much everything could be heard but then that could be fixed with a silencing charm on the door. The Healer decided that was for the best and sorted that out before turning her attentions to the girl who was sat back on her heels, bent over the toilet looking decidedly worse for wear.

\"I have placed a silencing spell so you don\'t have to worry about Mr. Malfoy hearing the answers, I need you to tell me what\'s wrong.\"

\"Nothing, it must just be a little stomach bug,\" Hermione said trying to sound like her normal confident, self assured self.

\"We\'ll see,\" the elder witch replied. \"How long have you been ill?\"

\"Just now? The last ten minutes or so. The whole sickness thing? A few days, maybe a week. The last time I was sick before this time was earlier this morning,\" Hermione answered honestly, now the medi-witch was hear she might as well get all the help she could.

\"Have you eaten anything that might disagree with you recently? Taken anything you shouldn\'t have? Recreational potions perhaps?\" Pomfrey didn\'t think Hermione was the sort to use any such potions, but you can never tell, sometimes it\'s the quiet ones you should worry about the most.

Hermione tried to look indignant at that but failed as she had to turn away from the witch to retch again. \"No nothing,\" she said shakily once she had gotten a bit of control over her body again.

\"Hmmm,\" Poppy thought better of asking questions along a similar line instead she decided to move on in her questions. \"Miss Granger, have you been in contact with anyone with similar symptoms? It would have to have been outside of school, at Hogsmeade perhaps?\"

\"My permission to go to Hogsmeade was revoked after the latest round of attacks shortly after the last official weekend; so I guess not then,\" Hermione answered. She still didn\'t understand why it was now that her parents decided to trap her at the school, the Wizarding world had been under attack from within for years now and she was a responsible witch; still there was no way to get around the revoked permission she might be of age in the Wizarding world but it was parental permission that counted on Hogsmeade forms especially since she had not yet reached her majority in the muggle world of her parents. Sometimes being a muggle-born could really stink.

\"Well, without giving a proper examination, which I will do as soon as we get you to the infirmary, all I can give you is this,\" the witch said passing Hermione a bright blue potion.

Hermione nodded and swallowed the potion, it tasted of nothing quite a bonus when it came to potions that need to be ingested to function. \"May I do my teeth before we go?\" she asked when the potion had done it\'s job and the nauseous feeling faded to an ignorable level.

\"Yes, but quickly, I really want to find out what is wrong so that I can help you,\" the witch said leaving the room.

Draco had been annoyed when the bathroom became silent, Hermione was ill and he wanted to know what was wrong so he could help her, he was after all responsible for getting Madam Pomfrey to come and help her, and how was he suppose to help if he couldn\'t listen in and find out her ailment?

When the schools resident Healer emerged from the bathroom one look was all it took for Draco to decide against inquiring what was wrong with his tower-mate. She was followed a few minutes later by Hermione who still looked a bit peaky.

\"Thanks for that Madam,\" Hermione said with a small smile on her face.

\"You\'re welcome child; now let\'s get you to the infirmary.\" There was no way Hermione was going to disagree with the elder witch so she nodded meekly and followed, thanking Draco on her way out of the commons.

It took a few minutes to reach the Hospital Wing even at the increased pace Hermione was attempting to go at for fear she would get sick again on the way even with the potion that the Madam had given her calming her stomach somewhat. When they did get there Hermione obediently got onto one of the raised examination beds and stripped off her outer robe so that she was just in her muggle-like school uniform.

Madam Pomfrey was concerned. Of course being concerned was one of the prerequisites of her job, but the school\'s current Head Girl she was especially concerned about. She felt unable to show the full extent of her concern to the girl because of certain restrictions that the Headmaster had insisted upon and that only caused her more concern and worry, what if the problem stemmed from the restrictions? Or rather, from their cause?

The witch had been tempted to alert the Headmaster while the young witch got ready for her examination but decided against it, after all Hermione could be right and the sickness a mere stomach flu. It was rare that the medi-witch ever wished such a thing onto one of her own patients, but in this situation she hoped that her suspicions were wrong and it was the student that had made the correct assumption.

She got out several indicator potions from the medicine cupboards and called monitor spells to the front of her mind in preparation while preparing a needle to draw blood from her patient. \"OK Hermione, are you ready?\" She asked crossing over to the student. \"Roll up one of your sleeves so I can take a blood sample please.\"

Hermione did as she was told and Madam Pomfrey soon had the sample she needed and had introduced it into the potions so that they could react while she was performing her spells. The spells felt strange and intrusive to Hermione, buzzing through her body and making her shiver. The Madam\'s \'umms\' and \'I see\'s\' did not put her at ease, nor did the look of suspicion painted on the witches face however subtle it may have been.

A small \'ping\' was emitted from the vials when the potions had had time to work and react with Hermione\'s blood. Madam Pomfrey had already finished the majority of spells and ruled out most bugs and illnesses that commonly caused vomiting and nausea, she hadn\'t yet tried to rule out what her suspicious mind was telling her the problem was, but she went to check the vials before casting further spells since one of the potions should confirm or allay her suspicions.

To her immense horror, they were confirmed. This was going to open up a whole can of worms, especially if it turned out to be the worse case scenario that was entirely possible and extremely likely given Hermione\'s temperament and reputation. Schooling her face back into \'neutral but slightly concerned\' away from \'oh my god!\' Poppy Pomfrey turned back to her patient and cast a few more spells simply to act as cover before excusing herself to summon the Headmaster who would need to be informed of the situation worse case scenario or not.

Poppy was both relieved and annoyed that she would be able to get into the infirmary to begin an explanation before the Headmaster could arrive. Hermione was sat up on the bed as she approached and Poppy was instantly asked, \"So what\'s wrong with me then?\"

\"This could take some explaining Hermione, and I don\'t want you getting upset at these questions, or the answer you receive to your own, though it\'s alright if you do,\" Poppy started, it wasn\'t highly unusual for girls in the later years of the school to find them in Hermione\'s situation, but Hermione\'s case was somewhat unusual.

\"Hermione, have you had intercourse? More specifically a few weeks ago?\"

Her eyes widened. \"If you are trying to tell me I\'ve got some sort of weird STD you must be wrong, I am a virgin, complete and utter! My last date was with Viktor Krum for Merlin\'s sake! That was years ago!\"

\'Oh no, worse case scenario it is then.\' Was Madam Pomfrey\'s first thought. \"No Hermione, that is not what I am suggesting, though the fact you think of yourself as a virgin will make this a little harder when it will be hard enough as it is.\" The Healer took a deep breath and wished that the Headmaster would hurry up and get here before continuing. \"Hermione, you are pregnant.\"

\"WHAT!?\" She shouted. \"Th-That\'s completely stupid, you\'re obviously wrong. And what do you mean I think of myself as a virgin? I am one!\"

\"I\'m sorry to inform you but that is not true Hermione.\" Hermione\'s eyes snapped up away from Pomfrey over to Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster, whose approach she had not heard.

\"Then why on earth do the two of you know about that while I don\'t? I mean surely I would remember- No, you didn\'t, you wouldn\'t take my memories, not unless… Oh my god. No!\" Tears sprang up in her eyes.

\"Your memories were not taken away completely, just suppressed. Your parents and I decided that it was for the best to allow you to continue your schooling without having to deal with the memories of your rape, then allow you to work through your memories at a later point under the supervision of a trained councilor.\" Dumbledore said. \"We did however record a statement from you to be used if your rapist was ever caught for other activities, which is more than likely the way things are going.\"

\"I want to see the statement.\"

\"Only if you are sure. Though perhaps you should consider if there are things you would like to be informed of prior to reading it in your own hand?\"

\"I said I wanted to see the damn thing didn\'t I?\" Hermione snapped at the old wizard who pulled a scroll of parchment out of his robes. \"Wait.\" She said as he handed it to her. \"Tell me who did it first.\"

\"Of course. Lucius Malfoy.\" The Headmaster said looking tired and upset with a healthy dose of pity.

\"And you let me SLEEP in a tower ALONE with his SON?\" Hermione exploded.

\"That was to keep you from suspecting anything had gone wrong this term, it would have seemed suspicious to the rest of the school and you requested not to be moved prior to having the memories repressed.\" At the Headmasters answer Hermione gave him an incredulous look and with shaking hands unrolled the scroll. She skipped down the parts detailing dates, times and persons present at the making of this statement, beginning to read when her own neat script started.

I had gone into the village of Hogsmeade with my friends Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley for the school\'s official Hogsmeade Weekend visit, we intended on going to Zonko\'s to check out Ron\'s brothers competition as well as getting sweets at Honeydukes and then going to The Three Broomsticks for butterbeers.

Just as we had finished up in Honeydukes the Death Eater\'s attacked Hogsmeade. Ron and Harry both managed to get away, but I was taken via Portkey to a location I don\'t know the identity of except that it was still light and cool suggesting that it was still in Britain, but I cannot be certain.

While captured I was raped by a Death Eater I can identify as Mr. Lucius Malfoy, who has twice been let off of Death Eater charges by the Ministry. I was tied up in magical binds, my wand confiscated and under what I think was a version of the Imperious that while making me unable to disobey direct orders did not prevent me from thinking and from attempting unsuccessfully to prevent what happened. I can identify Malfoy because he, and the other Death Eaters present, removed their masks believing that I would be killed by the end of the ordeal. I know that because they frequently told me that I was going to die at their hands.

Their leader Voldemort was not present but one I can identify as Abraham Nott said \'the Dark Lord sends his regards mudblood\'. There were at least four others present that I cannot identify through not knowing who they are though I remember their features clearly. All of them were very tall, two had a medium build, one was skinny to the point of appearing emaciated the other was of a larger build, fat. The skinny one had long dark brown hair and an accent that sounded Liverpudlian. The fat one was bald. One of the medium build ones….

Hermione didn\'t want to read the rest of her statement. She felt sick at what had happened. She skipped down to near the end in order to find out how she had managed to not die.

There was a seventh man present, Order of the Phoenix member Professor Severus Snape. He convinced the Death Eaters that I would most likely die from the injuries Malfoy had inflicted during the rape and that it would be unnecessary and more poignant to have me die of \'natural\' causes rather than use Avada Kedavra. Malfoy suggested that Snape dump me while dying somewhere near to or on Hogwarts property. Snape agreed telling the Death Eaters that they should leave now to meet up with their master. The men dressed themselves and apparated away. Snape then used his portkey to take me directly into the Hogwarts Infirmary where I was healed and given contraceptive potions. I then consented to be put under memory suppression spells as soon as I finish this statement.

Hermione closed her eyes as tears escaped down her cheeks. \"If I was given contraceptives how the hell am I pregnant?\"

\"Unfortunately as in the muggle world not all methods are 100% accurate and you may have been exposed to spells that would prevent the potions from taking effect after your memory had been suppressed meaning you wouldn\'t have known to come and get more.\" Pomfrey explained gently.

\"What spells and how soon afterwards would they have rendered the potions useless, it would have to have been close.\"

When Hermione was told she recalled that yes, she had had one of the spells cast on her in the 24 hour window the potion gave. \"It wasn\'t even supposed to hit me, Ron was aiming for Nev\'s toad Trevor.\" She said quietly.

\"Now you know what happened you have a few decisions to make, and quickly I\'m afraid to add. I am permitted to allow you an abortion without the father being informed because the fetus was conceived through rape. You could keep the pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption or you can raise it for yourself. We will of course keep this information confidential, though you may want to speak to someone, one of your friends perhaps, to help you make the decisions.\" Poppy said.

\"You won\'t be telling my parents?\"

\"Hermione, you are of age in the wizarding world and therefore the choices, and telling your parents is up to you, however if you would prefer for me to let them know I will.\" Dumbledore said.

\"Can I go back to my room to think or do you need me to stay here Madam?\"

\"No, but come back if you need anything and I would like for you to return later on for some more tests.\"

Hermione nodded her agreement and passed her statement back to Dumbledore before picking up her robe and leaving the infirmary. She needed to apologize to Draco for being so angry earlier, then perhaps she should apologize without apologizing directly for being so ready to jump to nasty conclusions about him when talking to Dumbledore and Pomfrey.

It really hadn\'t sunk in yet for Hermione, not being able to remember the rape was making it both easier and harder to come to terms with it. She hadn\'t even begun to process the fact that she was pregnant with her tower-mate\'s sibling. Instead she was focusing on the things she had a tiny bit of control over and apologizing to said tower-mate was one of those things.

Hermione wondered why she felt so bad about having reacted so badly about Draco sharing a tower with her when it was his father that had done it. She had been getting along with Draco a bit better than before, living with someone you couldn\'t exactly fight they way they had before the latest bout of sickness, \'morning sickness\' Hermione added, all the time, it would be very impractical. Their fights tended to be short and sharp when they occurred with one or the other (usually Hermione) saying sorry for the sake of not having a bad, worse than normal, atmosphere in their tower. It worked but while they were fighting they tended to let things slip, for example Draco used the word mudblood more frequently and Hermione had once admitted it was her that set Snape on fire in their arguments. That had gone down really well, they had actually both found that funny and ended up laughing for five minutes before Draco had stalked off to go sulk in his room. Somehow Hermione figured that his reaction to being informed his father had raped her wouldn\'t be the same… at least she hoped it wouldn\'t be.

Crabbe and Goyle had once been an oddly reassuring presence outside of the Tower for the Majority of the time, they had been instructed that they were never ever to harm Hermione by Draco and so pretty much left her alone and they stopped unnecessary intrusions into their domain, now however Hermione couldn\'t help but see them as jailers trapping her in there with Draco and potential rapists. Hermione shivered slightly as she moved past them through into the Tower where Draco was sat in the commons looking at the clocks both muggle and wizarding. He had waited for her rather than going to the library like he had planned for that evening… not that the library was a place Draco was keen on going.

\"Hi.\" Draco greeted.

\"Hi. Listen Draco, I\'m sorry about earlier, I way over reacted and shouldn\'t have provoked you into a full out argument. Sorry about your shoulder.\"

\"My shoulder? Oh, yeah, that\'ll bruise but no worry.\" He shrugged. \"Now how about you? Madam Pomfrey able to make you all better?\"

\"Not exactly.\" Hermione answered. \"I have to go back later.\"

\"Why didn\'t she make you stay in the Infirmary? She usually acts like an aggravated mother Kneazle if you try to escape without being fully healed. \" He asked confusion written clearly across his face.

Hermione was unsure of what to answer, she hadn\'t really thought that Draco would be in, and she hadn\'t planned past saying sorry to him. She decided that the best lies are part truth anyway and that it would be for the best to tell him that she was pregnant, it would make sense since he was going to have to put up with her continued morning sickness if she decided to keep the baby. \"Well the thing is I need some time to decide how she is going to make me better; I\'m pregnant.\" If she hadn\'t been so close to being completely numb and edging towards tears she might have laughed at his reaction; his eyes widened and he gave her the once over.

\"You, you\'re pregnant? Didn\'t think you had it in you Granger.\" He smirked.

Hermione answered without really thinking. \"Neither did I, neither did I.\" She walked away from him and into her room ignoring the questions Draco asked her as she shut herself in her room.

She lay down on her bed and began to cry as she sorted through the facts and what she thought would be a good next move. She knew that it wasn\'t the kids fault that it had Malfoy as a father, just like she knew that there was nothing she could have done to prevent what happened, trying to fight back more than she must have done would have been a very bad idea when you are unarmed and up against seven Death Eaters already intent on rape and murder. She couldn\'t help blaming herself though and she was seriously considering the viability of an abortion. Terminating the pregnancy now would be the easy way out, she would be able to live out the school year without the added worry over the pregnancy and she wouldn\'t be faced with the stigma of being an unmarried mother with a bastard child for the rest of her life. It was very rare for there to be single parents in the Wizarding world and when there were and it was through anything other than being widowed it was frowned upon and the individuals involved ostracized in the majority of cases. There was also the fact that if she decided to raise the child herself she would have to see something that was half of that rapist scum every day of her life. Of course she would have to go trough life knowing she had allowed her flesh and blood to be killed while it was unable to defend itself, vulnerable and relying on her for the privilege.

Hermione sighed and rolled from her side onto her back. She tried to picture what her child might look like, wondered whether it would turn out to be a little boy or a little girl growing inside of her at that very moment. She tried to picture the way the cells were dividing, multiplying and creating the tiny embryo. And she fell in love. This was her baby, it might not have a loving father and it might turn her into a pariah but it would not be killed off without having a chance at life. She couldn\'t justify that, the child was innocent and she could not hold the sins of its father against it. The fact she was alive at all was punishment enough for that bastard, he hadn\'t been able to kill her, he had done the opposite and created a life with her. Not that she ever wanted him to find out about the second part.

That brought her to the next problem. What could she tell people about the baby? It had to have had a father because even with magic available wizards hadn\'t gotten cloning right and there was no way to make oneself pregnant. She would have to see if Madam Pomfrey was adept at one of the spells she had seen while researching the effects of some random potion for Professor Snape\'s NEWT level Potions course. The spell acted rather like a funky piece of technology on Farscape (a program she loved to watch in the summer, like any geek Hermione was a sci-fi addict and proud of it) it would allow the normal scan of the fetus to be modified to extrapolate what the child would look like at a specified age. Knowing what the child was destined to look like might help her invent something to explain the child away. Having decided that much Hermione fell into a fitful sleep.