I\'m Not in Love
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,126
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,126
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
I'm Not in Love
This is a songfic from a 10CC song called “I’m not in Love.” Well I’m told it’s 10CC but I wrote this from the Tori Amos cover. It’s Draco and Harry, trying to figure out what’s going on between them and having a tough time.
******
Harry and Draco had been messing around like this for nearly a year, and Harry was beginning to wonder where it was going.
He decided to bring it up in post coital conversation.
“Malfoy. Draco. We… ummm, God what a sick cliché, need to ummm, talk.”
“You are talking,” murmured the blonde with his head resting on Harry’s naked chest.
“Ok, we need to ‘discuss’.” Harry rested his hand on Draco’s shoulder, gently stroking the pale, smooth skin.
“Discuss what?”
“Us.”
“Oh God.”
Draco had been discussing ‘himself and Harry’ in his head for the past three months. He had seriously hoped Harry wouldn’t bring it up until he had reached a conclusion.
~~I\'m not in love, so don\'t forget it.~~
He knew from his own internal arguing that he had feelings for the Gryffindor, but he was not anywhere near in the mental state to admit it.
~~It\'s just a silly phase I\'m going through.~~
“Draco. Are you listening?”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to keep answering me in single syllables?”
A long pause followed.
“No.”
Harry steeled himself. He would not get angry with the blonde, no matter how frustrating this was. He was determined to find out what Draco’s feelings about this whole ‘thing’ were.
“What are we, Draco?”
“What do you mean?” Draco’s short answers continued unabated.
“Are we fuck-buddies? Lovers? Enemies? Partners? What?”
Draco didn’t answer.
“We meet almost every night, and have done for nearly a year. I need to know if there’s anything here or not.”
~~And just because I call you up,~~
“Sex, right?” responded the blonde, muffled by Harry’s chest where his head was still resting. His slim, muscled arm rested across Harry’s body in a very possessive gesture.
“Nothing more than sex?”
“Harry, what do you want it to be?”
“I don’t know.” Harry was reaching exasperation point now.
~~Don\'t get me wrong, don\'t think you\'ve got at me.~~
“Do you have any feelings for me at all, Draco?”
~~I\'m not in love, no no, it\'s because...~~
This was not in any way a question Draco wanted to answer. He was scared about what might spill out of his mouth if he allowed himself to speak.
~~I like to see you, but then again,~~
“Sex, right?” he managed to say, keeping a tight check on his heart.
“Oh, choose some new words.”
“Stop asking me what I want. What do you want?” Draco lifted himself off Harry, leaving a palpable hole in the brunette’s body heat.
“I want this to continue. But I can’t let it if it’s going to stay the same.”
~~That doesn\'t mean you mean that much to me.~~
“Yes Harry, that made all the sense in the world. So you want us to be more than we are? Or just different?”
“Both, neither, I don’t care. I just need a way to describe this.”
~~So if I call you, don\'t make a fuss;~~
“Is it really that important?”
“Yes. I don’t want to hide anymore.”
“We’re not coming out. What would we say? ‘Hi, I’m Draco Malfoy, son of a Death Eater, and this is my boyfriend, Harry Potter, the boy who lived.’ Not sure that would work somehow.”
~~Don\'t tell your friends about the two of us.~~
‘I can’t figure out what’s going on in my head,’ Draco thought to himself. ‘Do I have feelings for him? I can’t have. Malfoys don’t do feelings. Not for anyone, especially not the bloody-boy-who-lived. I like him. I like being with him. Hell, I even like talking to him. But I’m not in love with him.’
~~I\'m not in love, no no, it\'s because...~~
‘What does he want?’ Harry wondered silently. ‘Is he really just using me? He can’t be. He’d have left or shouted at me or something by this stage if he really didn’t feel anything for me. Wouldn’t he? This can’t just be sex. Can it?’
~~I keep your picture upon the wall.~~
“Why not, Draco? We’re targets anyway. I am, obviously, but don’t you think you aren\'t too. If your father pisses Voldemort off, you’ll be the one they hit as revenge. I know you know it, it’s obvious. We can’t keep meeting like this forever.”
~~It hides a nasty stain still lying there.~~
“Why not, Harry?” Draco threw Harry’s question back in his face. “I don’t think we have anything to declare. Are we together? I don’t think so.”
~~So don\'t you ask me to give it back.~~
“So what? What is this? Fucking hell, we’re going round in circles here, Draco. I asked you earlier if you have any feelings for me, are you going to answer that sometime soon?” Harry demanded.
“Why? I don’t understand why it matters. We’re enjoying ourselves, aren’t we? It keeps our minds off the fact that we’re probably going to die. We get pleasure, we give pleasure. Hell, we even get post-coital cuddling. What is dysfunctional here?” Draco was blustering. He knew the answer to his question was ‘the fact that we’re hiding’, but he wasn’t going to admit it.
~~I know you know it doesn\'t mean that much to me.~~
“The fact that we’re hiding,” Harry replied.
‘Shit.’ Draco suddenly realised that thinking the same thoughts as someone you were definitely not in love with was not a good idea. ‘I’m not doing well convincing myself here’.
~~I\'m not in love, no no, it\'s because...~~
‘Shit.’ Thought Harry. ‘He’s going to leave now. I’ve screwed up. Oh God what do I do now?’
~~Ooh, you\'ll wait a long time for me.~~
“What about you Harry? Going to tell me your feelings while you ask for mine?” Desperation had kicked in for Draco as he tried to distract Harry’s thoughts away from ‘Draco’s feelings’ towards ‘Harry’s feelings’. It wasn’t a healthy idea.
“I don’t want us to be like this. Either we come out, and we make this proper, or we’re over.” It was the ultimate of ultimatums.
~~Ooh, you\'ll wait a long time.~~
“How long till you come crawling back to me, Potter?” Draco’s voice was dangerously low.
“Does that mean you choose the latter?” Harry made to get up, and Draco let him.
~~I\'m not in love, I\'m not in love...~~
“Yes.”
Harry pulled his robe around him and walked out of the room, not looking back, and not wanting to.
Draco watched him leave, not calling out, not knowing how.
***
PLEASE REVIEW! I write songfics with a lot of love in my heart and I take requests. If they’re shit, don’t blame me for not writing them.
Beta by Tashasaphi- any errors, mistakes or cock ups, blame her. We have argued about the words, so if they’re wrong, don’t complain. I won’t listen or apologise.
Love and everything
Lily xxxxxxxxxx
PS Tashasaphi is the best beta in the world ever.
******
Harry and Draco had been messing around like this for nearly a year, and Harry was beginning to wonder where it was going.
He decided to bring it up in post coital conversation.
“Malfoy. Draco. We… ummm, God what a sick cliché, need to ummm, talk.”
“You are talking,” murmured the blonde with his head resting on Harry’s naked chest.
“Ok, we need to ‘discuss’.” Harry rested his hand on Draco’s shoulder, gently stroking the pale, smooth skin.
“Discuss what?”
“Us.”
“Oh God.”
Draco had been discussing ‘himself and Harry’ in his head for the past three months. He had seriously hoped Harry wouldn’t bring it up until he had reached a conclusion.
~~I\'m not in love, so don\'t forget it.~~
He knew from his own internal arguing that he had feelings for the Gryffindor, but he was not anywhere near in the mental state to admit it.
~~It\'s just a silly phase I\'m going through.~~
“Draco. Are you listening?”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to keep answering me in single syllables?”
A long pause followed.
“No.”
Harry steeled himself. He would not get angry with the blonde, no matter how frustrating this was. He was determined to find out what Draco’s feelings about this whole ‘thing’ were.
“What are we, Draco?”
“What do you mean?” Draco’s short answers continued unabated.
“Are we fuck-buddies? Lovers? Enemies? Partners? What?”
Draco didn’t answer.
“We meet almost every night, and have done for nearly a year. I need to know if there’s anything here or not.”
~~And just because I call you up,~~
“Sex, right?” responded the blonde, muffled by Harry’s chest where his head was still resting. His slim, muscled arm rested across Harry’s body in a very possessive gesture.
“Nothing more than sex?”
“Harry, what do you want it to be?”
“I don’t know.” Harry was reaching exasperation point now.
~~Don\'t get me wrong, don\'t think you\'ve got at me.~~
“Do you have any feelings for me at all, Draco?”
~~I\'m not in love, no no, it\'s because...~~
This was not in any way a question Draco wanted to answer. He was scared about what might spill out of his mouth if he allowed himself to speak.
~~I like to see you, but then again,~~
“Sex, right?” he managed to say, keeping a tight check on his heart.
“Oh, choose some new words.”
“Stop asking me what I want. What do you want?” Draco lifted himself off Harry, leaving a palpable hole in the brunette’s body heat.
“I want this to continue. But I can’t let it if it’s going to stay the same.”
~~That doesn\'t mean you mean that much to me.~~
“Yes Harry, that made all the sense in the world. So you want us to be more than we are? Or just different?”
“Both, neither, I don’t care. I just need a way to describe this.”
~~So if I call you, don\'t make a fuss;~~
“Is it really that important?”
“Yes. I don’t want to hide anymore.”
“We’re not coming out. What would we say? ‘Hi, I’m Draco Malfoy, son of a Death Eater, and this is my boyfriend, Harry Potter, the boy who lived.’ Not sure that would work somehow.”
~~Don\'t tell your friends about the two of us.~~
‘I can’t figure out what’s going on in my head,’ Draco thought to himself. ‘Do I have feelings for him? I can’t have. Malfoys don’t do feelings. Not for anyone, especially not the bloody-boy-who-lived. I like him. I like being with him. Hell, I even like talking to him. But I’m not in love with him.’
~~I\'m not in love, no no, it\'s because...~~
‘What does he want?’ Harry wondered silently. ‘Is he really just using me? He can’t be. He’d have left or shouted at me or something by this stage if he really didn’t feel anything for me. Wouldn’t he? This can’t just be sex. Can it?’
~~I keep your picture upon the wall.~~
“Why not, Draco? We’re targets anyway. I am, obviously, but don’t you think you aren\'t too. If your father pisses Voldemort off, you’ll be the one they hit as revenge. I know you know it, it’s obvious. We can’t keep meeting like this forever.”
~~It hides a nasty stain still lying there.~~
“Why not, Harry?” Draco threw Harry’s question back in his face. “I don’t think we have anything to declare. Are we together? I don’t think so.”
~~So don\'t you ask me to give it back.~~
“So what? What is this? Fucking hell, we’re going round in circles here, Draco. I asked you earlier if you have any feelings for me, are you going to answer that sometime soon?” Harry demanded.
“Why? I don’t understand why it matters. We’re enjoying ourselves, aren’t we? It keeps our minds off the fact that we’re probably going to die. We get pleasure, we give pleasure. Hell, we even get post-coital cuddling. What is dysfunctional here?” Draco was blustering. He knew the answer to his question was ‘the fact that we’re hiding’, but he wasn’t going to admit it.
~~I know you know it doesn\'t mean that much to me.~~
“The fact that we’re hiding,” Harry replied.
‘Shit.’ Draco suddenly realised that thinking the same thoughts as someone you were definitely not in love with was not a good idea. ‘I’m not doing well convincing myself here’.
~~I\'m not in love, no no, it\'s because...~~
‘Shit.’ Thought Harry. ‘He’s going to leave now. I’ve screwed up. Oh God what do I do now?’
~~Ooh, you\'ll wait a long time for me.~~
“What about you Harry? Going to tell me your feelings while you ask for mine?” Desperation had kicked in for Draco as he tried to distract Harry’s thoughts away from ‘Draco’s feelings’ towards ‘Harry’s feelings’. It wasn’t a healthy idea.
“I don’t want us to be like this. Either we come out, and we make this proper, or we’re over.” It was the ultimate of ultimatums.
~~Ooh, you\'ll wait a long time.~~
“How long till you come crawling back to me, Potter?” Draco’s voice was dangerously low.
“Does that mean you choose the latter?” Harry made to get up, and Draco let him.
~~I\'m not in love, I\'m not in love...~~
“Yes.”
Harry pulled his robe around him and walked out of the room, not looking back, and not wanting to.
Draco watched him leave, not calling out, not knowing how.
***
PLEASE REVIEW! I write songfics with a lot of love in my heart and I take requests. If they’re shit, don’t blame me for not writing them.
Beta by Tashasaphi- any errors, mistakes or cock ups, blame her. We have argued about the words, so if they’re wrong, don’t complain. I won’t listen or apologise.
Love and everything
Lily xxxxxxxxxx
PS Tashasaphi is the best beta in the world ever.