When Darkness Fell

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or co. they are owned by JK Rowling, Warner Bros and her publishing co. They own the characters, I own this particular plot. I’m not making any money off of this, no malice intended, no infringement intended and so on etc. Also, if this is similar to any other fanfics, it was not intentional. As per usual, any original characters, theories about magic and anything not already known to JKR’s HP world or general fandom is mine.

Synopsis: One man will never remember, while one will never forget. Both are lost to the world and to the darkness that cursed them.

Warnings: If you can believe it, I think the only warning for this fic is slash and a nice smutty scene.

Pairings: Now if I told you, that’d ruin it! However, I can tell you it’s a slash pairing. ;)

A/N: Yeah, I really should be working on ID or something but I this one-shot demanded to be written. Don’t worry; I’m not planning on it being more than two chapters.


When Darkness Fell

By: SheWolfe7

Chapter I: Lost

-o-o-o-o-

Would you laugh if I told you, I can’t remember who I am or rather, who I was? Now don’t look at me like that, I’m not crazy! However I do seem to be suffering an acute case of permanent memory loss, how that came about no one’s really sure. I can’t tell you what happened because I don’t really know myself. I woke up one morning in a hospital bed at St. Mungo’s only able to recollect one thing, the utter terror I felt as darkness fell and I was swallowed by shadow. Even now, after all these years, all I can grasp at are vague phantoms that seemingly await my arrival as I slip off into the land of dreams. The Healers say that something happened that day, the day when the darkness fell and that I’ll never remember what had come before.

Now I’m sure you’re wondering what I mean when I say ‘when darkness fell’. It’s true enough the sun rises in the east and sets in the west every day but what I’m talking about isn’t the twilight hours between daylight and darkness, oh no. It’s different yet similar? Does that make sense? The absolute best Mind Healers have talked to me, trying to pinpoint what happened, attempting to piece together as much as I could recall yet it was all so pointless! All I can remember is overwhelming terror and then watching as everything around me was swallowed by shadow and that was it. I have no recollections of a childhood, nothing about my years at school, no clue where or even if I have a family somewhere looking for me.

It was terrifying and I was an utter wreck for weeks attempting to grasp at my phantom memories which slipped out of my reach, elusive. For weeks the only company I received were Healers and staff who, although were cheery, could do little to lift my sinking spirits. I was lost, not only to the world at large but to myself as well. No one had come to claim me, be they family, friends or lover and I felt more alone then as I have ever felt for as long I have been able to remember. It all changed when Tomaz came into my life and even now, I am always grateful to him for helping me move beyond that aching emptiness that I have no hope of filling. I can recall our very first meeting; or rather mine as I have always had the impression that he knew exactly who I was.

-o-o-o-o-

It was a warm spring day and the nurse had kindly opened my window, letting in a fresh breeze as the sunlight poured into the cream colored room. My eyes were protected by the sharp, brilliant sunlight by dark sunglasses as I was unnaturally sensitive to light in any form. I was sitting in front of the window dozing as the sun heated my bones. It was a favorite pastime of mine to lie about in the sun, it was the only time I could forget that aching emptiness within me as the sun heated my flesh. In any event, I was dozing when he arrived and caught up in one of those faint phantom memories that teased my mind in the moments before I was lost in Morpheus’s embrace.

He moved so softly, so quietly that I did not hear his coming and seated the way I was, did not see him right away. It was the fresh, slightly spicy scent of frankincense that woke me from my doze. Stirring in the overstuffed chair by the window, I stretched lazily and out of the corner of my eye, caught a glimpse of silver trimmed emerald robes. Turning fully, I looking from the ground up I saw shiny black boots, noted the robes were made of expensive velvet robes and cut to show off the tall, slim form beneath them. He had a strong face, one that commanded respect and soft shoulder length black hair. I stared at him, surprised to have a visitor after all these weeks and found I was speechless.

“You look better now than when I last saw you.” The man commented, a hint of a smile on his face.

I blinked at him and blurted, “Did you know me then? Before?”

“Before what?”, The stranger asked, eyes unfathomable.

I paused, at a loss of words for a moment. “Before…my accident or whatever caused this?”

He graced me with a full smile, showing straight white teeth. “What caused your accident is a great mystery to be sure but to answer your question, I cannot say that I knew you. I hope, however, to change that. Would you mind if I joined you for a time? I think by now, you would like to have some company to discuss things other than your stay here.”

“If you wouldn’t mind,” I said slightly abashed. “It has been lonely.”

With a smile and a flick of his wand he conjured a chair and sat across from me. We spent several hours chatting about various subjects and though I had never left the hospital, I did get regular subscriptions to various newspapers. He visited often the next two months as I regained my strength and I found myself becoming more and more enthralled with him. He fascinated me with his intelligence and ensnared me with his innate charm and sense of humor. The fact that just being in his presence seemed to dull the gaping emptiness inside of me was only an added blessing. Being with him made me feel as complete as a person in my situation could be and as I neared my release, I wondered just what a person in my position could do to support myself.

-o-o-o-o-

I was nervous, more so than when I waited for the Healers to give me their final opinions about my condition. Today I was finally leaving St. Mungo’s, after this I would basically be on my own. Arrangements had already been made for lodgings and some guidance about finding a place for myself now that I was well enough. Where the money for this came from or who was paying for my stay in the hospital, I was unaware of and the staff said it was a confidential matter and of no importance as things were taken care of. Someone had brought me some new ‘normal’ clothes in my size and an aide was ready to lead me below to a Private Floo room.

The aide left me in front of the door to the Floo room and with a cheerful farewell was on her way back to her station. With a trembling hand, I opened the door and stepped inside and found to my surprise, I was not alone. He was there, standing in front of the fireplace.

“W-what are you doing here, Tomaz?” I asked confused but secretly pleased. As much as I had been looking forward to leaving, I wasn’t really sure if I could handle being out on my own.

Tomaz turned to face me, for the first time he looked completely inscrutable. “You did not really think I would leave you to fend for yourself…Dirk?”

I shivered at the way he said the name I had chosen for myself. It was a verbal caress, one that made me want things that I couldn’t quite understand fully. “I didn’t expect you, I know you are busy and I am an adult and capable of fending for myself.”

“I would not believe anything less from you,” Tomaz said with a delighted laugh. “Come then Dirk and let me show you to your new abode. I sent ahead and had the house elves prepare lunch; I hope you do not mind my inviting myself to join you?”

“No,” I replied with a bright smile. “I don’t mind at all.”

-o-o-o-o-

The new apartment I now called home was a decent size, with a small living area, a kitchen/dining room, a guest room, a bedroom and one bathroom. When I had arrived, it had been decorated in Saxe blue with cream colored accents. I found it comfortable and soothing when the stress became too much and I had a niggling thought that whoever had furnished it had likely had my condition in mind. In any case, I found it cozy and very relaxing after a bad day. Even though the Healers had gently let me down regarding the possibilities of regaining my memory, I found at times that the teasing phantoms would not leave me alone. If I was left to my own devices for too long, I often became depressed and frustrated as I grasped at the memories that lingered just outside my reach.

Healers and Specialists from all over the world had been flown in regarding my condition and none of them could figure out what exactly had caused my memory loss. Specific memory or mind effecting spells had been bandied about but most had been dismissed, some suggested some sort of horrible traumatic experience or a malfunction of my own magic causing my condition. They had tried all known techniques to recover those phantom memories, using a Pensieve, Legilimency and Hypnotism but none had worked. A renowned Spellcrafter by the name of Hermione Weasley had even taken up the challenge to create a spell to record the memories he was sure he dreamed of but could never remember. In the end though, she had admitted defeat, unable to come up with a spell that would work for his condition.

Even with his busy schedule, Tomaz stopped by to visit with me each day and after two weeks, I began to become accustomed to his presence in my apartment. Sometimes we talked over dinner or sat in my living room debating about current events over a bottle of Firewhisky. Despite what Padma Patil, my primary Mind Healer had said, I couldn’t help but feel as if I had somehow inflicted this condition on myself. It was slowly eating away at me, like a slow acid wearing thin on my already fragile psyche.

I was having a very bad day when Tomaz stopped by for his visit. Normally he Apparated directly into my apartment but I had erected the Anti-Apparation Wards as I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and what I believed to be my failure. I was sitting in the dark in my bedroom, looking at my reflection and wondering how I might have looked when I was a child, wondering if I took after my mother or father. I had shoulder length blond hair which was nearly white and eerily pale aquamarine eyes. My skin was tanned a light tan-gold from my hours lying in the sun and my body had regained necessary muscle. So much I would never know and yet these endless questions! Would I never find peace? Was I doomed to live the rest of my life asking these questions that I would never find an answer to?

“Dirk, is something wrong?” Tomaz asked from the doorway, blindly flailing for the light switch.

I laughed bitterly, “The real question is, is anything right? I can’t bear it anymore Tomaz! I thought I was better, I thought I could deal with this but the questions are eating me alive!”

I heard soft footsteps as my friend approached. A rustle of cloth was the only warning I had before he had wrapped his arms around me, his body coming in direct contact with my chilled body. A flicker of heat shot to my belly but it was not enough to distract me for long as my mood was so bleak and despairing.

“Some things are better left forgotten and I know it plagues you but you should not dwell on the past, of things you cannot change. If you live your life lost to the past, to things you can never have or do again, you will cease to live and for someone like you, so talented and clever, that would be an utter waste.” Tomaz said softly, his voice tinged with the slightest hint of…remorse?

I shuddered slightly and in response, his arms tightened around me. “How can I move forward? I know nothing of who I am and have to re-learn so much. I can’t bear this darkness I am forced to live with and yet the very glimpse of any form of bright light with unprotected eyes nearly brings me to my knees. What was done to me and how do I live with it? I am only one person and I do not think I am strong enough to move forward on my own.”

“Who asked you to do this on your own? You have at your disposal the best Mind Healer in Great Britain along with the best medical staff at St. Mungo’s, but most of all, you have me.” Tomaz whispered his voice raw with emotion. Turning my head to the side with a gentle caress of his hand, he kissed me with a fervor I would not have thought possible of my calm, collected friend.

His lips were firm and insistent against mine, his tongue glided teasingly on my lips before gaining entrance to my mouth and plunging within. He kissed me as if he wanted to devour me, tongue exploring every crevice in my mouth as he shifted his body, bringing us closer together. I was dimly aware of his hands moving across my body, slipping underneath my shirt and caressing my body. Breaking the kiss long enough to draw in a deep breath, he dropped open mouth kisses along the side of my neck before moving up to my ear and nipping at my earlobe.

“You do not have to be alone any longer Dirk. Don’t you want this?” Tomaz whispered in my ear, voice laden with undisguised need.

I moaned as one of this thumbs rubbed over one of my nipples. “Yes but-“

Tomaz kissed me, silencing any protest I might have voiced. When he drew away, I was hard pressed to recall where we were let alone what I had been planning to say to him.

Dropping another light kiss on my mouth he tugged at my hands. “Come, we have a perfectly good bed not five feet away.”

I hesitated, looking up at him and his expression softened.

“I am not going anywhere Dirk, not unless you decide you do not want this later on. Toss me aside later on if you choose but tonight you need to forget about everything but the present. You will destroy yourself if you continue like this much longer and I cannot bear to see that.” Tomaz said his expression completely sincere.

I gave him my hand and slowly he drew me to my feet and towards the bed. It was an oak sleigh bed; swathed in soft white sheets and an azure colored cover and pillowcases. Tomaz led me to the edge of the bed and with a look that was part reverence and part lust-driven anticipation, he began to undo the buttons of my shirt. He leaned forward and began pressing kisses against my chest as my body was revealed to him. Once my shirt was off, he moved even closer and began exploring my upper body with his hands and mouth. I moaned softly as he settled on sucking on a particularly sensitive part of my neck while grinding his hips against mine, our erections rubbing together.

Backing off a little after I began to grind against him, he bent his head and teased my left nipple between his teeth. Swirling his tongue in a circular motion, he alternated between sharp bites and soothing laps with his tongue. By now I had thrown my head back, arching into his mouth, my fingers gripping his shoulders tightly. Moving to give my right nipple the same treatment, I felt his hands drift lower and begin tugging at the buttons on my trousers. The moment he got the front of my trousers open, he slid his hand under my boxers and roughly tugged on me gaining a strangled moan from me as my eyes shot open with surprise. Before I could recover or move, he was on his knees yanking my trousers and boxers down before taking my cock in his mouth.

Failing slightly, I gripped his silky hair in my hands and jerked on his hair hard as his hand cupped my balls and began rolling them gently in his hand. I felt him smile around my cock as he began sucking and bobbing his head along my length, taking me deeper in his mouth with each bob. He was quickly driving me crazy and I was so close to coming under his expert ministrations. Just as I reached the edge of my control, I felt his thumb press behind my balls and next I knew I was coming and he was swallowing every drop of my cum.

Smirking slightly, Tomaz gently pushed me onto the bed and quickly began to divest himself of his clothes. I marveled at his body, which I found to be perfect. His skin was pale but covered in knife-like scars along the ribs and biceps while he had what seemed to look like belt welt scars along the side of one hip and upper thigh. Joining me on the bed, he crawled between my legs and resting both hands on both sides of my head, stared down at me.

“You are so damned beautiful,” He murmured kissing my forehead lightly. “I have wanted to do this for so long…”

Grabbing a pillow he motioned for me to raise my hips as he tucked the pillow underneath me before reaching over to the nightstand and taking his wand. Waving his wand with his right hand while searching for my entrance with his left hand, he muttered two short spells. I felt a strange tingling sensation followed immediately by a sudden slick fullness just as his questing fingers parted what they were looking for. Tensing at the intrusion of one finger, which slowly worked its way inside my hole, I glanced up at Tomaz and saw the strangest look in his gaze. At that precise instant, he looked as if he had spotted his greatest desire and would go through hell and high water to claim it. Shaking his head slightly, he woke from his strange mood and seeing me looking at him smiled gently and kissed me heatedly, distracting me as he prepared my body. I arched up several minutes later as I felt two fingers pressing against that wonderful spot inside of me, pleasure shooting through my body.

Tomaz who was kissing me lazily nipped at my bottom lip, chuckling. “This is exactly like I imagined it, you are so responsive…”

“How long have,” I broke off moaning as I felt another finger added to the two which had been leisurely stretching me for the past seven or eight minutes. “You been planning to do this?”

“A month or longer,” Tomaz murmured, stretching his fingers inside of me.

I impaled myself on his fingers and biting my lip demanded he stop torturing both of us and fuck me already. Tomaz happily complied, pausing to slick up his cock with conjured lube, as he lined himself up with my hole. We both groaned as he slowly sank into me, my body stretching to accommodate him. Once he was fully seated, he began to thrust shallowly as I wrapped my legs around his body. It took him a few moments to find the right angle and then everything ceased to exist in my world except him and the pleasure building up inside of me. Soon the only sounds in the room were our ragged breathing and the jerking of the bed as we moved together frantically trying to reach that one glorious moment. He barely had touched my hard, leaking cock in his slick hand when I came, my seed spurting against his belly and my own. The clenching of my muscles around his cock drove him into a frenzy as he began to thrust even more roughly into me. With an almost savage thrust, he came inside of me calling out my name as his fingers dug painfully into my shoulders.

Spent he collapsed on top of me, still buried deep inside of my body. We spent a few minutes enjoying the afterglow of what had been a mind-blowing orgasm, our heartbeats slowing as languor sank into our spent bodies. Lifting himself off me, Tomaz pulled out of my body and with a slight roll to the side reached for his wand and cast a cleaning spell on our bodies and the sheets. Setting his wand on the nightstand, he moved closer to where I lay and then drew the covers up around our bodies. I felt him gather me in his arms just before I drifted off into the first peaceful night’s sleep I’d had without the aid of a Dreamless Sleep Potion.

-o-o-o-o-

The following months were among the best of my ‘new’ life. Tomaz and I grew closer and the horrible despair and frustration that had plagued me was banished. He convinced me to move in with him after two weeks of not so subtle hints. We were happy together and slowly he drew me out of my partial solitude. Together we saw some common sights around Magical and Muggle Great Britain as well as doing our weekly shopping together. Our first trip to Diagon Alley together was memorable; Tomaz had failed to inform me just how well connected he was as curious Wizards and Witches swamped us. Reporters asked questions at a speed that made my head spin and Tomaz must have sensed my building distress as he quickly dispersed the crowd and rushed us to a private room at the Leaky Cauldron.

“Are you alright, love?” Tomaz asked concerned.

I smiled weakly, “I’m not quite adjusted to the crowds yet, I guess.”

Tomaz shook his head. “I am sorry about this sudden…intrusion in our lives but I promise, I will keep them from pestering you too much.”

“Thank you.”

“Shall we have some lunch?”

-o-o-o-o-

Eventually, after much frustration about my lack of knowledge regarding the Wizarding World Tomaz reluctantly hired a History tutor who would instruct me on the more recent events. Strangely enough I remembered quite a bit about my Wizarding education. I could recall extremely complicated magical techniques and spells but could not recall any events from the more recent Wizarding Wars, the first which had ended some forty-three years ago and the more recent which had ended roughly twelve years ago. I had made efforts to check the registry at Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang but no one of my description had attended any of the schools.

I was not as young as the newspapers made it seem, the Healers said I was probably only twenty-two at the oldest. Why did the newspapers speculate about my age you must wonder? It was because of Tomaz and my relationship with him. Tomaz was an Unspeakable and why the newspapers had such a keen interest in him, I wasn’t sure and had yet to ask. Tomaz wasn’t that old really, he was in his mid-thirties but the way people acted, it was as if there was a much larger age gap between us.

So for another six months, I was tutored in Wizarding History by an older wizard by the name of Terry Boot. We spent several hours each day pouring over books and speaking of events that had the greatest effects on the Wizarding World. Terry especially enjoyed lecturing about the more ‘recent’ history and spent nearly two weeks discussing what was now called Voldemort’s Second War. He remembered it best, having been involved in it and spoke with great fondness and dignity about the War Mage Harry Potter.

“There was something about him I suppose you could say something that drew people to him, not to say that he was amazingly charismatic or charming, that wasn’t like him. Harry was believed to be a hero, a Savior and he acted the part as though it was made for him, as though he was born to be a hero. He was in Gryffindor; a House that I believe played a vital role in molding him into what he later became: a fearless Wizard who was revered and respected…”

I found it fascinating to listen to him speak of Voldemort’s War, after all he had been there and had known the key figures. He even had a few battle scars which he showed off with great pride.

“…battle took place in what used to be the Forbidden Forest but now is known as the Stormbreak hills. It’s hard to give an accurate account of what exactly happened that evening, reports given after the battle allowed us to draw a few facts. Voldemort had a small base within the heart of the forest and War Mage Potter along with a few others had left to meet him there. Three squads of Aurors had been deployed to combat against the Death Eaters gathered in the western part of the forest while two other squads and the remaining Order of the Phoenix were given orders to fight off the Dark Creatures allied with Voldemort and stationed at the edge of the forest, near the school. It was nearly two hours after the beginning of the attack that a sudden magical shock wave shook the forest, throwing every Magical creature or being, as well as every Wizard and Witch out of the forest. Trees were flattened and guards stationed on various towers at Hogwarts reported they could see a huge black shield covering the heart of the forest, no doubt where Voldemort and Harry Potter had their final battle.”

“And?” I asked eager to find out what had happened.

Terry smiled at my sudden curiosity. “And the battle continued, twenty minutes later the forest was set on fire and the Death Eaters were either captured or fled. The fire that swept the forest was Magical in nature and obliterated everything, turning the forest into ash. It was a contained fire though, as it never left the edge of the forest and burned cleanly until well after daybreak the following day. From the air, we could see the shield was still up and hoped that Harry had survived the battle somehow but the instant the fires died another huge Magical Shock wave shook the area. It transformed the once flat forest into a hill covered area, except for the epicenter of the shock wave which became a deep lake. The bodies of Harry Potter and Voldemort were never recovered, though the Wizards and Witches who had gone with Harry were later found at St. Mungo’s having been sent there by Portkey.”

I was disappointed, it was a wonderful factual story but…it seemed to me like such a waste. “There was nothing at all?”

“It’s amusing you should ask that, as soon as Harry’s best friends recovered from the battle, they insisted on searching the area. It had been two weeks and the hills were covered in new growth, no doubt aided by the extremely rich deposits of magic in the very soil. Bubblehead charms were used by those who had joined the search team and a afternoon was spent searching the depths of the lake from end to end. The items retrieved solidified beyond a doubt the deaths of both wizards. The first item found was the Medallion of Souls, an artifact that gave Voldemort the awesome power to command legions of zombies. The second was a warped and blemished Sword of Gryffindor, which Harry Potter had been seen wielding and the last item retrieved on that trip was the dead Prophecy Orb.”

Understanding flooded me instantly, the orb would only ‘die’ if the Prophecy it contained was fulfilled. “Oh…”

Terry smiled. “It’s a good story and the most unbelievable thing is that it’s true. Have you been to see the War memorial at the Stormbreak Hills?”

“No, not yet.” I answered with a soft smile.

-o-o-o-o-

The amaranth was just coming into bloom when Tomaz and I Apparated to the War Memorial. It was plain but from what Terry had told me, Harry wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. A simple stone arch stood a few feet away from the edge of the lake, inscribed on the pillars of the arch were the names of those who had died. The arch itself had both the Slytherin and Gryffindor shields side by side and the words, ‘Let not the past decide the future’.

Glancing around, I saw the tranquil waters of the lake which was rarely disturbed as it was shielded by the huge hills and tall trees surrounding it. Flowers bloomed everywhere, perfuming the air with rich scents. It was peaceful and I found that for the first time since I had started falling asleep in Tomaz’s arms, I was at peace. There was something here, something that…called to me. Reaching out with my magic, I was overwhelmed by the rush of power that flowed over me.

It seemed so familiar yet different at the same time. Closing my eyes, I allowed it to draw me to where it willed and a few minutes later was surprised to find myself drawn to the shoreline, exactly where Tomaz was standing looking pensively over the calm waters. He didn’t move as I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed a kiss against his neck.

“You feel it don’t you?” He asked quietly.

“Yes,” I answered simply, waiting. The way we were standing, the ease we had always felt in each other’s presence had always made me curious if it had always been like this and now I knew.

We were silent; neither of us felt the need to say anything, to break this sudden calming stillness. After a few minutes, Tomaz spoke softly and I strained to hear him.

“It was the Medallion of Souls that brought about the end of both our former lives and only the strength of your magic combined with my desperation that allowed us to survive the aftermath. This place is saturated with our magic, before both this place and our magic was changed and altered by the shock wave, as surely as we ourselves. I would have brought you here sooner but you hadn’t yet asked and I feared what bringing you back to this place might do to you.”

I was silent and after a few minutes, released him and turning slightly, took his hand. “Let’s go, I’ve seen all I need to see here.”

Tomaz looked at me, his nearly black eyes shining with surprise. “Why would you still want me?”

“Because it doesn’t matter anymore, that was the past and this, this is the present.” I murmured before kissing him gently, using my lips and tongue to show the sincerity of my words.

And it was true; I didn’t need any more explanations. I didn’t want those memories, of a former life I could never relive or reclaim, back. I had spent over a year wanting and wishing to know, to remember but all of that had changed in an instance. Would having those memories change anything now that nearly forty-four years had passed by? Were any of those memories worth dealing the trauma that Tomaz still suffered from?

Once the shock wore off, Tomaz wrapped his arms around me tightly, as if he were afraid to let go. Afraid I would leave him, alone and trapped within the darkness that had swallowed us both.

-o-o-o-o-

TBC…

Seriously though, I’ve never tried anything quite like this so any feedback would be most welcome. *puppy dog eyes* Pretty please?

-SheWolfe7 (8-31-05)