Giggler's Revenge

I found an interesting Challenge. I am unsure as yet exactly how this is going to turn out. But I think it is off to a somewhat interesting start. Maybe...Let me know what you think?

Disclaimer: Of course, the characters found within this story belong to JKR... I only borrow them to play! No money, no reward save any reviews the readers see fit to give me! (hint)

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ACCIDENTALLY


Severus walked down the aisle, watching each student as they worked over their cauldrons. He had not planned on letting them take on such an endeavor so early in their Seventh year. But the student that was the most successful at such a dangerous potion would be the one he would offer the apprenticeship to.

He smirked glumly. As if there was any question as to who would produce the best potion. Turning, he lifted an eyebrow in Hermione’s direction. She was most certainly the best in his class. The only other student that could even hold a candle in comparison was Draco.

His eyes turned to the boy on the far side of the room. His smirk turned into a mirthless smile as he noticed that Draco was working very hard at the potion as well, but kept stealing sideways glances in Hermione’s direction. The boy was not stupid. He knew that she was the only thing standing in his way of this apprenticeship as well as Severus did.

Continuing to make his way down the aisle, he cast a worried look in Longbottom’s direction when the careless boy turned an entire bottle of nightshade over the cauldron and began to pour the entire amount in instead of just the pinch that was required.

Moving at lightning speed he pushed the clumsy youth to the floor just in time to miss the violent blast. However, Severus was caught directly in the explosions path and, unlike Longbottom, who had went sailing across the room, it hit him full force.

Hermione came to her feet and stood in shock waiting for the smoke to clear. When her eyes focused on Snape, she saw he was still lying on the floor. Was he even breathing?

Rushing to his side, she knelt and took his hand. Gently, she patted the side of his face, trying to revive him. “Professor Snape? Professor, wake up.” concern showed on her features when she raised her eyes and looked at the other students that were staring, stunned at the unconscious wizard on the floor.

Longbottom stood before the rest of them. His expression was one of total shock. Hermione glared in his direction. “Well, don’t just stand there! Someone help me take him to the Hospital ward!” Standing up, she used her wand, calling out, “Winguardium Leviosa!”

instantly, Snape’s comatose body rose into the air as if he weighed nothing more than a feather. Drawing a deep breath, she looked over her shoulder. “Draco, would you floo Professor Dummbledore, and tell him what’s happened? I trust you can keep the class in order until he can get here?”

Draco started to sneer some fowl words in her direction, before he realized she was being polite and asking for help. Immediately, his sneer disappeared, to be replaced with a guarded look of respect. “Yes, Hermione. I will make sure everything stays as it should.”

With a nod, Hermione turned and floated the sleeping wizard out the door. She was worried over him. He was breathing, but the gods only knew what kind of damage that potion had inflicted upon him.

When she reached the Hospital wing, Ron was there being tended by Madam Pomfrey. They both stopped and turned to see who had been floated in. Ron dropped his jaw, “Bloody hell! What happened, Hermione?”

Hermione gently floated the Professor down on the nearest bed. Sparing only a glance to Ron, she answered, “Longbottom.”

Madam Pomfrey rolled her eyes as she moved to stand beside the bed. Leaning down, she took a closer look at the man occupying the bed. “Why he allows the boy to continue in his classes when he obviously has no gift for the subject is simply beyond me!” she swore softly.

Hermione and Ron watched as the Mediwitch worked over the senseless man. After a moment, she tutted, and pulled a vial of a amber colored liquid out of her pocket. When she pulled off the cork, Hermione and Ron both took a step back, drawing faces at the terrible odor.

Pomfrey glanced at them. “Yes, I know it smells to high heaven. But it is something that will bring him around. He has no concussion, so there is no reason why he should be asleep.”

When she held the putrid vial beneath his nose, the man came awake with a start. Looking around, he took in his surroundings. He looked from the Mediwitch, to Hermione and Ron. Then, he did the one thing no one was expecting him to do... He broke out in laughter.

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Hermione, Ron and Madam Pomfrey all stared in horror at the wizard before them. In shock, Hermione glanced at her watch. Twenty minutes. For twenty minutes he had been awake and laughing so hard that there was no way he could even get a word out edgewise.

The Mediwitch turned to Hermione. “Go and get me some remnants of that potion! I must study it before I can even begin to consider how to make an antidote.”

With a quick nod, Hermione turned to leave. She stopped at Ron’s crestfallen look, “Can’t we keep him like this? I rather like him this way.” He gestured to the bed where the man was laughing so hard, his eyes were tearing up. “He’s on more of an approachable level this way.”

Giving her friend a rather admonishing glance, she shook her head. “This is not something to joke about! If he can’t calm down, he could end up hyperventilating,” she paused, looking back at the man, “or worse.”

Ron looked down, clearly ashamed of his joke. “I know, I know. I was just wishing,” he answered softly, looking away.

With a nod in Madam Pomfrey’s direction, Hermione went back to the classroom to see if there was even any potion left.

When she reached the room, it was to find that most of the students had been dismissed. Dumbledore sat behind Snape’s desk with Draco beside him and Neville before him. The three of them turned to face her as she moved to the shattered cauldron that still sat on the floor.

Draco was the first to speak. “So, How is he?” he asked softly.

She spared him a glance before pulling an empty vial from her robes. “Giggling hysterically. Madam Pomfrey wants a sample of the potion.” Her eyes turned to Neville. “She has to research the potion before she will even know if there is a needed cure.”

Neville swallowed loudly before asking, “needed? What do you mean?”

Hermione sighed as she used her wand to command the spilt ingredients into the vial. “I mean, the effects of the potion could wear off on their own. Or it could take a antidote potion to fix him.”

Draco had been watching her face and he voiced the other, worse outcome for her. “Or there may not be a cure.”

Hermione looked to him sadly and nodded. “Yes, there is that.”

Neville turned three shades of white before he sank down onto the floor. “Oh dear, what have I done?” he said to to himself more than anyone else.

Draco turned eyes to the other student and sneered. He would have said something about Neville’s incompetency but Dumbledore stayed him. Rolling his eyes, he crossed his arms and looked away.

Dumbledore stood and moved to Hermione’s side. “We must believe that all will end well,” he said in a gentle, knowing voice.

He then turned and spoke in his usual, kind way. “Neville, you may go now.”

Draco watched as Neville fled the class room before turning back to Dumbledore and asking, “You’re just going to let him go? He very likely has killed Snape, and you are just letting him leave?”

Dumbledore looked at Draco with patient eyes. “Why, yes. I believe I am. If Severus had not pushed the boy out of the way, then it would have been himself that he hexed, not the professor. There was no malice in this event. Therefore, it would be useless for me to punish him.”

Turning back to Hermione, he smiled. “Let’s go deliver this potion to Madam Pomfrey, shall we?”

Hermione nodded, and together, the three of them made their way to the Hospital Wing.

When they entered, they heard Severus’ voice. “That damn bloody fool! He’s gone and nearly killed me. Again!”

For a moment, they each thought that the effects of the potion had worn off. Until he let loose a hysterical laughter that was so unlike him it gave them each pause.

Dumbledore moved forward, going far enough into the room that Severus saw him. The younger wizard pointed his finger accusingly in the headmaster’s direction. “I demand,” snicker, “that you,” he gasped before covering his mouth and giggling again, “dismiss that boy!” Cackling commenced.

Draco and Hermione looked from Professor Snape, to each other, then back to him. It was like some Muggle horror movie. The wizard before them looked like Snape. His facial expressions were Snape’s. But the constant chortling was nothing like the man they knew.

Madam Pomfrey rushed to Hermione’s side. “Do you have it?”

Hermione instantly handed the Mediwitch the vial. “He seems better now.”

Madam Pomfrey raised an eyebrow in Snape’s direction. “I gave him a sedative potion. It has calmed him down somewhat, but it won’t last long. At this rate I’ll have to dose him again in half an hour.” She shook her head. “I can only dose him with that kind of potion a few times a day without his body becoming addicted to it.”

Suddenly, Severus began to cackle once again. Tears flowed from his eyes, and he grasped at his sides. “Blast and Damnation!” Laugh, laugh, laugh. “Kill me now! End this bloody torment!” He tried to glare in Dumbledore’s direction, but was unable to do more than smile sheepishly before breaking down into another dozen giggles.

“Albus,” Minerva spoke up from the far side of the room where she had been sitting quietly, watching the other Professor’s torment. “I am of the opinion that even if Madam Pomfrey can find a way to cure his malady, It won’t be soon enough for him to return to classes tomorrow.”

Albus nodded at Minerva’s words and turned to look at Hermione and Draco. Who were still watching Snape in concern. “Then, I suppose, his two star pupils will have to substitute for him.”

At that, everyone else in the room fell silent. Hermione, Draco, and Ron all stared open mouthed at the Headmaster.

Severus looked in astonishment from Albus, to the students in question before exclaiming. “Oh dear Merlin!” At which time, he again exploded into laughter once again. “I’m imploring you!” snicker, snicker, gasp. “I’m having a nightmare! That’s what this is! A Bloody terrible nightmare!”
Chortle, chuckle, giggle, glurp. “I’ll have that boy’s head on a platter!”

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Severus held his hand over his mouth all the way from the hospital wing, down to the dungeons. He had taken some more of Poppy’s sedative. It helped calm the disgusting urge to cackle senselessly. But it still did nothing to remedy the shit eating grin that forced his mouth so wide open that it showed every bloody tooth he had.

Hermione and Draco followed from a distance. The Professor had insisted on making it to his rooms on his own. However Dumbledore had insisted that the two accompany him in order to give assistance if someone were to notice that he was not entirely himself.

Severus, although to the casual observer seemed unusually pleasant, in truth was seething with anger. Longbottom was going to pay for this. That incompetent fool would rue the day he had first stepped near a cauldron. The stupid boy had quite possibly ruined his ability to spy for the order. How was he supposed to convince the Dark Lord that he was the same, miserable, spiteful, fearsome death Eater, if he couldn’t even wipe a bloody smile from his face?

Relief flooded him as he drew nearer to his quarters. If he could just make it to his room, and put a silencing charm on it, then no one would be the wiser about this whole incident while Madam Pomfrey searched for a cure. He wasn’t sure he liked the idea of Hermione and Draco teaching successfully in his place. They were more likely to blow the entire castle to kingdom come.

Biting down on his tongue to keep himself from giggling in the hall, he neared his dungeon. Just as he was nearing his door, Goyle appeared. The boy looked startled for a moment, before composing himself. “Are you feeling better, Professor Snape?” he asked in a polite voice.

Severus clamped his hand down on his mouth that much tighter, and just nodded. “Uhm-hmm,” he moaned through his hand and hastily moved past him to edge closer to his door, feeling sure that he would be able to save face if he could just get to the safety of his room.

Just then, Pansy rounded the corner. She collided with him. He would have been able to continue as he had, if she had not stepped rather clumsily on his foot. Immediately his mouth shot open, but instead of the obscenities, and anger Pansy had been expecting, laughter emerged from his lips. A look of total misery crossed his features as he erupted into peels of hysterical laughter.

Draco and Hermione exchanged glances before rushing to help him get past the gawking Pansy, and into his chambers safely. Draco hissed in Pansy’s direction as they passed, “Forget you saw this, Parkinson!”

Hermione raised an eyebrow in response to his words to his house-mate. Once they delivered Snape safely into his chambers and had locked and warded the door with a silencing charm, she questioned him. “What was the point in telling her to forget what she’d just seen?”

Draco rounded on her. “Shut up, Granger! I told her to forget it because she will take that to mean that it is important to not tell anyone about this.” He looked down his nose at her, adding, “Unlike all Gryffindor’s, we Slytherin’s know how and when to keep our mouths shut!”

Until that moment, the incessant snickering of Professor Snape had lessened. But at Draco’s remark, the hint of laughter once again became Snorts of laughter that would have been infectious if it came from anyone else. “Pansy Parkenson?” he snorted through wails of chortling giggles. “What freckle on Dumbledore’s arse made you think that she could keep a secret?” Snort. Chortle, chortle. Snort. “That girls tongue wags so continuously,” snarf, giggle, snort, snort, “that she has to tie it in half just to keep it in her mouth each morning!”

Despite themselves, they both stared at the professor in a mixture of mirth and disbelief at his words. Hermione covered her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing at his cutting remarks.

Draco, swallowed once, twice, three times to keep from smiling at the observation of his head of house. Shaking his head, he asked, “Do you think she will tell what she’s seen?”

Snape resembled a drunk man when he waved his hand off in no immediate direction. “She’s already told!” Snicker, “Who do you think had to Obliviate the the entire house of Slytherin when she walked in on you in the loo that time?” Cackling commenced for several moments. “I mean,”giggle, “I couldn’t very well let,” snort, “the word get back to your father that you were jacking off in the loo, whispering Hermione’s name, now could I? Heee...Hee..Ha, ha, Hooo...” he succumbed at that moment to another outburst of hysterical laughter.

Draco turned scarlet and trembled for several moments. When he looked in Hermione’s direction, she was staring at him in horror. He quickly turned away from her and made his way to the fireplace. Grabbing a handful of Floo powder, he stepped into the green flame, saying a hasty, “Head Boy’s chambers!”

Hermione stared after him for a few moments, before looking back at Snape. Gathering up her courage, she turned back to Snape. Her eyes met his and he actually stopped laughing for a moment, simply by the hurt look on her face.

When she realised she had his full attention, she whispered. “That was cruel, even for you.” stepping closer to him, she handed him the sleeping draught Poppy had given her to give to him once they had reached his chambers.

Once his hand clasped it, she turned away from him, and stepped into the Floo herself. “Professor Dumbledore’s Office.”

Alone, Severus, burst into another fit of giggles and slid down the wall. Once he sat on his haunches, he uncorked the sleeping potion, and pressed it carefully to his open, laughing mouth. Tipping the drink up, he poured it down his throat. The only thing he wished for more than to wake up from this nightmare, was possibly death.
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