Shadows Of Doubt

I do not own any of the characters of Harry Potter from books 1-6 (nor any from book 7 when it is released). I do, however, own this story and the depictions within it. I will not allow anyone to use the idea, unless given consent in the matter.

Summary: Remus loses his faith and love for a close friend when a horrible prank is played. Will he be able to forgive and forget? Or is their relationship and friendship broken forever?

Writing Style:

“Speaking”

‘Thoughts’

*Spells or Italic-Style Writing*

A/N: It is up to you whether or not this story will have more chapters. You must update and say whether you like it or not for me to continue. Flamers’ are welcomed since I love petty criticism.


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Chapter 1. The Prank


The wind was howling madly, the clouds weaving darkly overhead as night fell quickly upon the large stone castle, it’s doors and walls creaking. The lights within the many window flickered throughout the stone hold, and the dark blue and grey clouds swirled menacingly overhead, threatening and dangerous. The gras hissed and the treas moaned their distress.

Tall, oaken doors flew open, a young boy, his face pale and his breath ragged, ran from the school, a cloak over his head, a woman draped in nurse-wear at his side. She ushered him to a long abated tree, it’s branches swaying dangerously. The knot beneath the large frame was prodded and the woman forced the boy deep within the hole beneath, her heart trembling within.

“Hurry, were late,” she said frantically. “Run fast.”

The boy nodded, whimpering as his heart felt sudden stiff with fear. His body trembled and stiffened oddly, his muscles clenching harshly. His face paled again, and he whimpered as he lowered himself into the hole and ran along the stone cold passage to the other side, knowing what awaited him more sooner than he thought.

The woman stood stock still, her face ashen white as she hurried back toward the lone towering school. The doors still stood open, a boy, his black hair and deep handsome eyes set with worry and fatigue. He looked up at the woman as she entered and she – in return – looked back.

“Is he alright?” he asked with a hitched voice.

“Not to worry Mr Black,” the nurse said with a wry smile. “I got him there in time.”

The boy let out a sigh of relief, and, from the corner of his eye, saw something move in the shadows. As the woman moved away, he turned to the towering glass surrounding of the Slitherin points elector. He glared att he serpent, staring at it long and hard, before walking away slowly. He heard movement and turned, his wand in hand.

“STOP.”

The person, his dark robes lank and tousled, turned maliciously to the other. His dark eyes scanned the taller and more masculine figure with mounting dislike. His greasy black hair framed his face grotesquely and his black beady eyes seemed to be spitting hells very fire in the others distinct direction.

“Snivellus,” the boy growled, a dark frown creasing his face. “What are you doing out here?”

“What’s it to you, Black?” the swallowed boy hissed.

The boy, Sirius Black, smirked at the upending Slitherin, walking toward him with slowly debating steps. He stopped, feet form him, and tilted his head to the side, his smirk becoming far darker and more sly than ever seen before. He tapped his wand nonthreatening on his cheek and hummed softly.

“You know, I’ve seen you slinking around before,” Sirius said slwoly. “Let me take a gander... you’re wondering why Remus is always leaving the castle at odd times with Madam Pomfrey.”

“You wise, Black,” the greasy haired boy sneered.

“Yes, yes I am,” Sirius agreed, grinning. And then, in a far darker and whispered voice said, “I can tell you where he goes... and how to get in...”

“You can,” the other breathed, then his face fell blank. “Why would you give up information on a friend or yours, Black?”

Sirius merely shrugged innocently and walked closer to Severus Snape, his face calm with the tine lopsided smirk that always seemed to be on his handsome features. He stopped before the other and leaned down so his mouth was as close to the Slitherin’s ear as he wanted it to go, eyes watching the small black ones of the shorter male.

“The Whomping Willow,” he whispered. “Take a lone stick, prod the knot beneath and slink into the hole beneath it. You’ll find Remus on the other side.”

“No lie?” Severus asked in a hushed voice.

“No lie,” Sirius repeated, though a dark smirk was plastered so effortlessly across his face.

Severus set off without another word, opening the wide gaping doors and moving out into the cold billowing night. The sun had fully set now and the dark clouds were moving dangerously overhead, a crack of lightening and the low rumble of thunder in the distance. Sirius stood up fully and watched the Slithering go, his smirk widening as he followed behind at a slow pace, making sure to keep out of sight.

Snape made way for the tree, stopping before the twisting branches that seemed to sense him. The swung just out of reach of him and creaked in the loud wind. Snape, with a cold sneer, picked up a long stick from the grass, watching as the branches swung and spotting the knot in the tree. He reached forward as a branch passed and pocked it; the tree stilled.

A smirk of satisfaction lit his face and he made his way forward, unknown to the one watching from the shadows of the castle, a dark loom in his eyes as he watched the offending Slitherin slid under the tree and disappear into the tunnel beneath. He turned, uncaring, away from the scene about to unfold.

“Pads...”

Sirius turned to his nickname as he walked up the marble staircase to the Gryffindor tower. His eyes were dull and bored as he leaned on the banister and looked down upon the lanky figure of his best friend running up to him, just coming from the library.

“Hey Prongs,” Sirius mumbled.

“What’s wrong? You sound out of it,” James said, turning and walking with his friend up the stairs.

“Yea, I am,” Sirius sighed. “Just had a run in with *Snivellus*,” he said boredly.

“You did,” James gasped.

“Yea...” he debated on whether or not to tell his friend, then decided. “He’ll have a nasty surprise once he realizes what’s on the other side of the Whomping Willow.”

James stopped on the stairs, staring aghast at his best friend that looked at him lazily and gave him an inquiring look. James’ mouth was hanging open wide, his eyes wide with shock at what he had just heard, and hoped against all hope that it was nothing but a big ass lie that he was hearing coming from his friend. But, when he looked into those dull bored eyes, he didn’t see any lie behind them, and turned down the stairs at a run.

“JAMES, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” Sirius yelled after him, chasing his fellow Gryffindor down the stairs.

The front doors burst open as James raised his wand and he dashed out into the screaming wind and downpour of rain that was now pelting the school mercilessly. His feet slipped across the ground and he could hear Sirius’ voice in the distance, calling out to him, but his words were muffled and unheard.

“SEVERUS,” James yelled, but his voice was drown by a crack of thunder that lit the ground.

“JAMES, WAIT,” Sirius yelled, and grabbed his friend by his robe sleeve.

James slipped and wheeled around.

“What is it?” he snapped.

“You can’t go in there,” Sirius snapped back just as furious. “Moony will attack you as you are–”

“And you don’t think he’ll attack, Snape?” James yelled, glaring at his friend with disbelief. “You’re facing expulsion, Padfoot.”

Sirius released James’s sleeve and stepped back, suddenly shocked dead... but not by his friends words. A deep, rattling cry had just pierced the howling winds and creaking and moaning of the trees and castle. It was followed soundly by a throaty growl and the hiss of snarling teeth and fangs.

“Snape,” James said, and dashed away.

Sirius stood, shocked into stillness, and the fowl sound. He bit his lip as worry consumed him, one name streaking across his mind over and over and over...

‘Remus... Remus... Remus...’

“Oh no,” he whispered, and ran after James. “REMUS!”

Lightening crashed overhead and the roll of thunder cracked the air. The ground was lit piercing white, illuminating James’s back as he went hurtling under the tree into the whole. Sirius felt the protective instinct in him kick in and dove forward, his face, body, arms and legs stretching into a black bear-like dogs body. He hit the ground and went on pounding across the grass and under the trees flailing limbs after his friend.

He heard James’ voice along the tunnel, calling out for Severus. Sirius felt his heart thundering as he streaked along the tunnel and turned the final corner that lead up the steeping slope into what the people of Hogsmeade called the ‘Shrieking Shack.’

His heart almost froze at the sight of James, grabbing Severus under the armpits and pulling him down the slope, the Slithering glaring angrily at him, his face white like parchment as he saw the gleaming eyes baring down on him from above. Remus, his body completely transformed now, was watching stiffly from above, face gaunt and still.

James was panting, staring up fearfully himself at the figure, long body arched above him from the boarded hole. The yellow eyes of the werewolf flashed yellow, it’s long jowls set tightly closed as it leaned down, ready to attack. But, just as James was about to scream for help, a streak of black shot passed him and the werewolf and black figure had disappeared back into the house above.

“Come on,” James said forcefully, pulling Snape with him.

Sirius, on the opposite hand side, had pinned the werewolf down, keeping one eye on the hole as he saw James and Snape disappear from sight. Remus was growling up at him, but did not attack. Rather, he stayed still and was starting to whimper, curling in on himself. Sirius removed his large paws and watched as the form moved onto his side and whimpered, covering his head with two large clawed hands.

His ears lowered, and his heart still racing, Sirius, still in his dog form, laid down beside the werewolf and curled his head around so they were nose to nose. He felt a tongue lick his lips softly and let out a low, soft growl to calm the other. They closed their eyes, the whimpering slowly ceasing as they fell into deep slumber with one another.

*~*~*

The wind had stopped howling, the world was calm and damp from the previous storm that had thrashed the land. Birds sung boringly from their perches in trees, their shrill cries echoing out along the early morning. From within the hollow of the Whomping Willow emerged a large black dog, slinking slowly out from beneath the still branches. Once out of reach, the bear-like figure transformed back into the lean masculine form of human whom he was.

Sirius made his way tiredly back up to the castle, his muscles tight and sore from the nights attack. He had used all of his strength to hold Remus down in his werewolf form. He had been worried his friend would lash out at him and attack, but he had not. With a shaky sigh, he made his way up to the Gryffindor common room, opened the door to his room shared by his friends, and flopped down onto his bed for sleep.

“Sirius... Sirius... SIRIUS!”

He sat up, gasping, and looked up at the round-glassed figure of James standing over him. He groaned and rolled onto his side, checking his bedside clock. With another groan, he noticed it was half past nine. He had slept in and missed first class.

“Why didn’t you wake me,” he groaned, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

“What do you mean?” James asked darkly.

“For class,” Sirius said, glaring at his friend as if he was stupid.

“Sirius...” James said flatly, “it’s the first day of Christmas Holiday.”

Sirius blanched. He had completely forgotten.

“I think you owe someone an explanation,” James said darkly again, pointing behind him to the door.

There, arms crossed over his chest, face turned to the window his pale cheeks glittering with what looked to be shed tears, was Remus. He looked ill, but better than he had the night before when being smuggled from the castle. James said no more and left, giving Remus a warm smile before closing the door with a snap.

They were alone.

“Hey their,” Sirius said softly.

“Hey yourself,” Remus returned sharply.

Sirius flinched. “Ouch, what was that for?”

“How could you, Padfoot,” Remus whispered.

“How could I... what?” Sirius asked, confused.

Finally, Remus turned to him, face hollow and almost lifeless. He looked so sad and torn, his face still shimmery from tears. He walked forward and stopped out of arms reach in front of Sirius’ bed, glaring questioningly and angrily at the handsome boy before him.

“Snape,” said Remus simply.

“Oh...”

“Oh... is that all you have to say?” Remus snapped, his hazel eyes glittering.

“Moony, I’m so sorry,” Sirius whispered, not wanting to see the other cry. “I didn’t know what I was thinking... I... I was such an idio–”

“Idiot, yea I know,” Remus interjected. “I can’t believe you did that too me Pads.”

“Honestly, Moony,” Sirius said frantically as he saw a single tear glide down one preciously pale cheek. “I was angry at him for sneaking around and wondering where you went so I...”

To be true, Sirius didn’t know why he did it.

“You what?” Remus whispered thickly.

“I told him how to find you,” Sirius said, his face shocked into sudden disbelief.

Remus collapsed onto Sirius’ bed, to weak to continue standing, and dropped his head into his hands. He shuddered, shoulders shaking, as he let his emotions get the better of him. Arms encircled him, and he felt warmth. He didn’t want to though... he was angry. He punched Sirius’s chest weakly with his fists as he cried, biting his bottom lip as he buried his head deeper into a warm shoulder.

“God, Moony,” Sirius whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

“How could you,” Remus yelled out in tears, still hitting Sirius’s chest. “How c-could you?”

“Please, Moony,” Sirius said, holding the other tighter. “Believe when I say I’m sorry.”

Remus ceased his hitting and lifted his head from Sirius’ shoulder. His eyes were stained red and puffy, tears sill leaking uncontrollably down his cheeks. He sniffed and let out a shuddering breath. His hands clenched tightly into Sirius’s robed that he still wore and his lips trembled.

“Why?” he whispered.

“I – I don’t – know,” Sirius said in a hushed voice.

“I thought you cared about me?” Remus said softly.

“I do Moony,” Sirius said quickly. “I care more about you than anyone I know.”

“Then why?” he asked again. “Why endanger me like that... and another student, for that matter?”

Sirius lowered his head, tears in his own eyes. He truly didn’t know what made him do it, but he did it and was regretting it ten fold. Just seeing Remus in tears made his heart burn with pain, and he would give anything to see that pain disappear. He clenched his eyes shut and opened them again, looking up suddenly when Remus’s weight left the bed.

“Remus?” Sirius whispered.

The other stilled, hearing his actual name come from Sirius’s mouth. He turned his teary eyes on the other, his throat itching with the words he didn’t want to say... but had too. He thought he could trust Sirius... Trust him with his life. But now, knowing what he had done, he could not. Not any more. Not every... Maybe.

“Sirius,” Remus whispered, his throat dry and raspy. “I – I don’t think – we should – be together – anymore.”

He saw it hit. The very words shattered before the other. Remus could hear the tinkling of the shards of Sirius’s very heart crash down and shattering on contact with the ground. His heart wrenched painfully as he saw silent tears sudden spill down Sirius’s usually happy and laughing face, now looking twice as old and twice as pained.

“I’m sorry,” Remus whispered, before leaving the room, his own tears running down his face once again.

Sirius sat, stone faced, staring at the door. His heart twisted painfully as the words sunk slowly into him. He felt his hands shaking on the bed, his entire body trembling painfully on the spot. He had to get out before he did something he would regret again. He had to leave, run, get away, before he decided to do something bad.

Before he knew it, he had thrown off his robed, put on a new pair, brushed his fingers through his hair, walked briskly to the door, and slammed it shut. He walked down the staircase leading into the common room. His eyes immediately fell on the others: James and Peter sitting together, a white faced Lupin between them, looking up shocked at Sirius with tears in his eyes.

Sirius didn’t stop. He looked away without a word, almost entranced to leave. He shoved the portrait of the fat lady open, he frame crashing against the wall as she cried out shrill and she snapped shut again. He didn’t know where he was going, or why, but he wasn’t planning to stop any time soon.

After a long, fierce walk, he stopped, and stared up at the place he had come to. It was the stone gargoyle that blocked the entrance to the Headmasters office. His mind raced with different names of candies before sliding to a stop on one and he looked up at the stone face of the grotesque gargoyle.

“Peppermint Creams,” he said briskly.

To his surprise, the stone gargoyle shuddered and moved, lopping to the side for him to enter. He didn’t stop to think how he could have known, but instead found himself allowing the rotating stairs to lead him up to Dumbledore’s office. He stopped before the fine oak finish, wondering what to do, when a voice called out to him.

“No need to knock, Sirius,” said Dumbledore’s voice from behind the door, “you may enter.”

He grabbed the latched and pushed the door open, walking slowly up to the headmaster and stopping with slight unease before the smiling elderly face.

“How may I help you, Sirius?” said Dumbledore politely.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the next, wondering what he should ask or say. He hadn’t thought about anything while he was wandering through the castle in his shocked hour, but not that he was inside the Headmasters office, he didn’t know what to say or think. Suddenly, something caught his attention and he turned to look up at the tatty old Sorting Hat.

He knew what he had to do and ask.

“Professor... I want to try on the Sorting Hat again.”

*~*~*

The others flinched as they heard the portrait of the fat lady slam hard against the wall and then bang shut loudly. No one probably jumped higher than Remus, who was looking pale when he saw the dead eyed look in Sirius eyes when they spotted one another. He didn’t even look... human anymore.

James, too, looked worriedly after his friend, also seeing the deadened look in his usually bright eyes. He was rubbing Remus’s back in circles, but stopped when the fat lady called out after Sirius and then mumbled to herself about no respect for pictures or paintings. James looked down at the slumped Remus, seeing the pale eyes grow even paler.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” he said softly.

“Yea, Moony,” Peter said, his voice shaky. “He’ll get over it.”

“I broke up with him,” Remus said painfully, his eyes watering.

“You... what?” James whispered, gaping with shock.

Peter, too, was staring wide-eyed at him.

“I – I broke up – with him,” Remus mumbled while trembling.

“Oh, Moony,” James sighed, rubbing his back again soothingly. “Why?”

“I can’t trust him anymore,” Remus cried, burying his face in his hands. “He said he’d tell no one and then goes off and... tells Snivellus...”

James frowned and looked back up at the sold wood of the back of the fat ladies portrait, her ranting still going on. He chewed his lower lip nervously, wondering where Sirius had gone, and what he was doing. Unbeknownst to Remus, Sirius had spilled his heart out to James about how much he was in love with the tawny haired werewolf. He had been trembling with the effort and was gripping James so tightly when he told him, saying he couldn’t bear life if they ever broke up.

‘Sirius... where are you?’

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A/N: I think that’s a long enough and very good intro, don’t you think? Welp, I’m tired, since it’s 2:40 am and I just happen to have this idea pop into my head at the time and I HAD to write it down. I hope you don’t mind if chapters may take some time to update, since I also have two more stories going along as well. Review and tell me what you think?