Hermione walks into a bar . . .

Disclaimer : I own none of the characters. I just like to Imperio them into doing my will for a bit. Obviously, for my own amusement and not to make money.

Many thanks to my beta angelastarcat!!! Thank you very much!!!

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After an extended afternoon of de-stressing therapy, also known as a shopping spree, Hermione rushed back to Hogsmeade to where she was suppose to meet up with the men over an hour ago.

Hermione walks into a bar . . . and up to where Severus is seated next to Draco.

\"Evening gentlemen!\" Hermione beams.

\"Evening Hermione,\" the two reply, one amused, the other rather cheerless.

\"Draco! Is that a steering wheel coming out of your crotch?\"

\"Yeah, apparently I was a little too forward with a frigid little wand-happy witch.\" He sulked.

Incredulous, he continued. \"Tell me. What is wrong with this line? ‘Do you have any Dragon in you? Would you like some?\'\"

Hermione\'s hand flew to her mouth. Too late to stifle the gasp, but it effectively stopped the giggling fit that threatened to follow. \"Draco! You didn\'t!\"

\"Obviously, I did.\" He sneered.

Seeing the tray of drink garnishing, Hermione nicks a cherry and pops it into her mouth.

\"I was going to warn him about that horrendous line, but I needed some entertainment while waiting for you to join us,\" Severus said with a smirk.

\"Sorry I was running late, but I found this little number I just had to have.\" Hermione winked while holding up a pink bag, no bigger than the size of his fist, with the words \'Victoria\'s Secret\' written on it.

Severus inhaled sharply as visions of Hermione dragging him on one of her shopping trips to muggle London entered his mind. One vision, in particular, stood out . . . Hermione modeling for him in the dressing room of said shop, wearing minute fluffs of fabric they dared to sell as clothing.

Severus was brought back to the present with Hermione\'s muffled exclamation, \"There!”

He looked to her quizzically as she reached into her mouth. Quickly his expression changed to one of barely controlled lust. His eyes narrowed and nostrils flared, as she pulled the cherry stem out of her mouth. It had been tied neatly into a double-knot with her talented tongue. Smiling, Hermione put it in front of him.

\"Careful, wife, that I do not take you over one of these tables right now,\" Severus exhaled.

A triumphant Hermione quips, \"Tempting, husband, but not in front of Malfoy. I shudder to think of the months of masturbation material that he would see.\"

\"Hello! Sitting right here you know!\"

\"I\'m sorry Draco. Does it hurt much?\" Hermione asks, trying not to watch as Draco scratches himself.

\"Oi! It\'s driving me nuts!\"

Hermione and Severus burst into laughter as Draco scowls.

After Hermione was able to breathe again and wiped the tears from her eyes, she offered, \"Right then, next round\'s on me!\"


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A/N : I\'m brand new to all of this. My first attempt at writing... EVER! So please be gentle. Use lots of lube. lol ;)

A/N Pee Ess : The plot bunnies made me do it! I always put my plot bunnies up for adoption. I\'m more of an artist, not really an author. But these plot bunnies attacked me with a vengence with their sharp pointy teeth! They also beat me with a Punny schtick! I liken these rabid pieces of fluff to the \"cute and fuzzy bunnies\" from the movie \"One Crazy Summer\" (the Better Off Dead sequel). Be very wary of any thing with big doe eyes and lots of fluff.

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