Disgrace

When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes

Lucius ignored the stares as he left the Ministry. He leaned heavily on his cane, hating that it was for more then just show now. Tattered and bruised still, clothes like rags, but still he held his head high. He was a Malfoy, and would not give in to the pain and shame he felt while they could see him. He somehow found the strength to apparate, but well away from the Manor. He wanted to walk - to feel the earth beneath his feet - to feel the air on his skin, the sunlight flickering through the trees as he walked, so bright it almost hurt his eyes.

I all alone beweep my outcast state,

He got halfway there, and finally broke down. He sank to his knees, head bowed to the ground as he let loose on all he was - he cried out - cried out for the outrage they had dealt him with, cried for the things he had to renounce for them to release him from the hell they had imprisoned him in. But most of all he cried for the beautiful creature he had to leave behind - the devoted woman who even now probably didn\'t know he had been released.

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,

Lucius tilted his head back and screamed in frustration, letting loose on emotions he almost always kept in check. They had taken so much from him. Months from his life, his respect, his good name - no longer was he respected and feared. But that would change.

And look upon myself, and curse my fate,

He stood up slowly, body screaming in protest, and began to walk back to the Manor, hating what they had forced his life into. He was no better than a common criminal now, and his body had been decimated beyond belief - as had his mind. He leaned heavily on the cane, needing it now more than ever. . .what they had done to him, and continued to do to him was something he should never have been subjected to - but still they kept on. Rules to follow, concessions to make, and a wife who had suffered for it all.

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,

His feet struck the earth with a heaviness that seemed as though it could be felt all the way through his body, and he kept his eyes focused on the Manor. Would she be there? Would she have waited? Hope sprang in his chest but was quickly silenced by his internal war. Hope was not for a Malfoy.

Featur’d like him, like him with friends possess’d,

He opened the door, flinching as it groaned in protest, echoing through the halls - making the utter silence of the Manor that much more noticeable. Once she had hosted parties here, and they had come - his friends - and now no more they were. They had abandoned him. And she had been alone as well.

Desiring this man’s art, and that man’s scope,

Lucius walked through the darkened hallway, his steps slow and rather unsteady, his boots clicking softly on the tiled floors. Narcissa wasn\'t here. He could feel the emptiness of the house. It weighed on him, it felt heavy and thick all around him, and he wondered who was holding her right then. Who had his perfect wife, who was more precious to him then any work of art - though he failed to let her know that sometimes. And now it was too late.

With what I most enjoy contented least;

He finally reached the door to the study and opened it, surprised to find a fire burning almost cheerfully in the hearth, and it made his heart - yes, he thought bitterly, even I have a heart - ache to see the room apparently empty.

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

\"I\'m sorry Narcissa,\" he said to the empty room, his voice and the words he spoke sounding strange to his own ears. He hated that he had lost her, but hated himself for leaving her - alone - as well.

Haply I think on thee,—and then my state,

She stood then, silently rising from her chair in front of the crackling fire, and turned to face him. Lucius drew in a sharp gasp of air, and made his way over to her - not knowing whether he could believe his eyes, or if he had truly gone mad.

Like to the lark at break of day arising

He reached her, and reached out one hand, running a to thin finger on her cheek softly - as though he were afraid she would fade away as she had so many times in his dreams.

\"Lucius,\" she breathed out, and to him no sweeter sound had ever been heard.

From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;

She smiled then, and embraced him, uncaring of his state. She sobbed softly on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her, allowing his cane to fall to the floor without a second thought.

\"I missed you so. . .\" Her voice was soft, and sweet and filled with love, and it made him want to live again.

For thy sweet love remember’d such wealth brings

\"I love you,\" he said simply, unable to voice what he felt at that moment.

\"And I love you,\" she replied, kissing him passionately - as though he wasn\'t dirty and ragged and broken in her arms.

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

And as he kissed his wife, as their bodies pressed against each other, he knew then she was the only thing that mattered to him. He had been through hell and had been let out by some miracle - and the miracle, he knew now, was the woman in his arms. Nothing but Narcissa mattered. Not the money, or the friends, or his good name. As long as he had her, then all was right with the world. They tried to take away his soul while he had been in hell - but were unable to. Because his soul had been waiting for him here.