The Only Thing That Mattered

Narcissa was on her third or was it fourth drink and the pain in her jaw was finally beginning to ebb. She sat in a chair by the fire, her eyes watching the dancing flames as if entranced, listening to the small pops and crackles as the flames licked the wood that was piled high. She heard the footsteps in the hall, and sat stiffly in the chair, bracing her self for another expression of Lucius\' displeasure.

When the door clicked open, she took another swallow of her drink, finishing the last of the amber colored liquid, and set the glass on a table next to the chair. Footsteps sounded quietly on the carpeted floor, and then he was standing next to her. Her hands clutched the arms of the chair as she waited for the fist, the harsh word. But none of that came, and she finally took the chance and looked briefly upwards.

\"Severus,\" Narcissa breathed out softly. \"I. . . I didn\'t expect you.\"

Severus sat in the chair next to hers, and took her hands in his, completely enveloping her small hands in his own. \"Lucius sent me an Owl, he said he needed my help.\"

Narcissa swallowed a lump and nodded. Before - before Lucius, before this life, she had been close with Severus. He had been her friend, her confidant - and during school they had been nearly inseparable. She knew they had grown apart - if for no other reason then Lucius\' fits of jealous rage. And Lucius had threatened to contact him, if she displeased him one more time.


~~*~~

She had, that very afternoon, in fact. She had asked for something, to bring Draco a present, to visit him - something inconsequential in her mind. But his eyes had flared, and his hands had become tight fists at his side, the white of his knuckles startlingly visible against the black velvet he was outfitted in. And then her mind had awoken, and she had run - turned and ran from the room. But his arm had reached out, and he had caught her long, flowing hair as it streamed out behind her.

Her head had jerked back, tears filling her eyes, but not spilling out - not yet. She would hold the tears back as long as she could, knowing it only made his rage grow and shift into something much worse than what she was going to get if she didn\'t cry. And then he whipped her around, his elegant fingers locking in her hair, lodged at the back of her head. And then he raised his hand up and it began.

\"Do not a fist in the jaw mention that another strike this time, with an open palm abomination to me his hand closing around her throat for a moment, until she began to see darkness on the edge of her vision ever again his hand loosened and once again a fist hit her jaw and the hand in her hair tightened he is not my son another strike, this time to her cheekbone a Malfoy would never she felt hair pull loose as his hand tightened, and her head rocked back with the force of the next hit be in a state yet another fist, to her opposite cheek this time and completely oblivious one more hit to her jaw to the fact of who is.\"

He loosed his grip on her hair then, and she fell in a heap at his feet, her forehead resting on the soft carpet as she willed the tears not to come - not yet. And he had laughed then, a cold, dark sound that chilled her to her very core. Lucius stood there for a moment, she could hear his slightly rapid breathing in the stillness of the room, could taste the blood in her mouth, could feel the swelling of her face even now. And finally Lucius left, and only after Narcissa heard the door click shut - only after his footsteps receded down the hallway, did she break down and allow herself to weep quietly.

Narcissa wept for her son, interred in St. Mungo\'s - she wept for the husband who she desperately wanted to love her - and the last few tears she cried for herself, and the pain rushing through her body.

~~*~~


And now Severus was here, and it could only mean one thing. Lucius had asked him there - to brew a killing potion to slip undetected into her food or drink. And Severus cared enough to let her know, so she could face her death with full awareness.

Narcissa squeezed his hand gently, trying to let him know without words that she could not blame him for what he had to do. She knew - knew what would happen if he did not. And she would not wish either the displeasure of her husband, nor the displeasure of her husband\'s Lord on her old friend.

\"Narcissa, I won\'t do it,\" his voice was quiet, low, and she shook her head frantically, ignoring the pain that shot through it as she did so.

\"Severus - they\'ll. . . punish you if you don\'t. I\'m not worth that.\" Narcissa\'s eyes flashed in the firelight, clearly showing the fear she felt for him. And it made Severus\' heart break a little. This once proud woman, sitting here, beaten, bloody - bruises covering nearly every inch of her face - and she was worried about him.

Severus shook his head slowly, and leaned forward, kissing her on her cheek carefully, noticing Narcissa smiled warmly at him, even though the feather light brush of his lips must have hurt her. \"Lucius will not hurt you anymore, I promise you that. And I will do as I should have done all those many years ago. I will keep you with me, keep you safe.\"

Narcissa stared at him, wondering if she had heard him correctly. Maybe I am still laying broken on the floor and this is only a dream. And then he stood up, and pulled her up with him, wrapping his long arms around her thin body and holding her close.

Severus bent down and whispered in her ear,\" He is dead Narcissa. I slipped the potion he asked me to make for you in his drink - that he so graciously allowed me to pour for us. He won\'t ever hurt you again. And I\'ll never leave you again, I swear to you.\"

She wept then, tears flowing freely, and Severus held her as the sobs racked her body. She didn\'t ask what they were going to do about the Dark Lord, didn\'t ask where they were going to go, or what they were going to do with their intertwined lives. All of that was unimportant. The only thing that mattered to her was that Severus held her, Severus loved her still - even after all these years apart.

The only thing that mattered was that they were finally together, two souls merged into one once more. And she realized, as his hand smoothed down her back with gentleness she had never received from anyone but him, that this is what she had been missing all these years.

The other half of her soul.