Lemon Drops
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
9
Views:
7,961
Reviews:
63
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
9
Views:
7,961
Reviews:
63
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Prologue
Author\'s Notes: This is our humor fic. This is why my cousin and I should NOT be allowed to co-write fics on a day when our plot bunnies have turned chocolate and let us eat them! See what happens? R&R our insanity! ^.^
Disclaimer: They\'re not ours *pout* We\'re borrowing them and we promise we\'ll return them, even if they are a bit damaged in the end of it!
Harry Potter was sitting on his bed, his legs drawn up to his chest, his arms wrapped around his knees, while staring out his window. It was four in the morning, and all was quiet on Privet Drive. Like nothing at all was wrong. And yet, it had been only a month since Sirius had died in the Department of Mysteries. Harry, of course, was still having nightmares. And blaming himself. If I hadn’t been so stupid...or jumped to conclusions so quickly...if I’d only remembered about his gift...if only I’d thought to talk to anyone besides that wretched house elf! If I’d talked to Snape...or maybe Pomfrey...listened to Dumbledore...practiced Occlumency even a little more...he’d still be alive. Harry rested his head against the cool glass of the window, closing his eyes to try and stop the burn caused by the tears he wouldn’t shed.
Just then, one of the school barn owls landed on his windowsill, tapping the glass right in front of Harry’s nose rather louder then necessary, with a package and a letter tied to its leg. He sighed heavily and opened the window, letting the bird in. Harry pet the owl’s head, untied the parcels, handed the owl a treat and watched it fly into the moonless sky.
He stared at his name, scrawled elegantly across the envelope. The handwriting was thin and loopy. He frowned, wondering why Dumbledore would be writing to him. Two weeks at the Dursley’s wasn’t nearly enough time for him to go back to Grimmauld Place. Was something happening with Voldemort? With a bit of malice, he almost hoped there was.
He opened the letter first.
Feel better.
A.D.
That was it? Maybe Malfoy is right. The man really is nuts! With a shrug, he decided it would probably make more sense once he’d opened the package. He untied the string that was looped around the small tin and cast it aside. Upon opening the tin, his eyes widened and his mouth fell open in shock. The Boy Who Lived was struck dumb. “Lemon Drops? The loon sends me fucking LEMON DROPS with a note that says ‘FEEL BETTER’ after my godfather, the only father I’ve ever known, DIES not even FOUR FUCKING WEEKS AGO!?”
He threw the tin across the room, growling mockingly. “Oh yes, Lemon Drops make it ALL better. The Dark Lord cursed you...’Lemon Drop, Severus?’ You had a heart attack...’Lemon Drop, Minerva?’ Your father was poisoned by a giant snake...’Lemon Drop, Ron? How about you, Ginny? Fred? George?’ You turned yourself into a cat by accident...’Lemon Drop, Hermione?’ You got petrified by a basilisk...’Lemon Drop, Mr. Creevey? Or you, Miss Clearwater? No, how about you, Mr. Finch-Fletchley? Mrs. Norris? Sir Nicholas? Hermione? No? Are you sure? Well, if you’re sure...’
Harry laughed, almost hysterically. “And yes, let’s not forget the best one of all! Oh dear, your godfather DIED? ‘Here, Harry, my dear boy! Have a Lemon Drop!’ After all, Lemon Drops just make it ALL FUCKING BETTER!!!” He cackled and scrambled across the room, grabbing up the tin of Lemon Drops.
“Oh yes, all better.” He giggled and clutched the small box to his chest, rocking back and forth and starting to laugh uncontrollably. “All better...all better...all better. Good Lemon Drops...all the bad goes away...oh yes, everything is better with Lemon Drops...”
And that was how Petunia and Vernon Dursley found the Famous Harry Potter three hours later.
No reviews, no fic! *evil grins*
Disclaimer: They\'re not ours *pout* We\'re borrowing them and we promise we\'ll return them, even if they are a bit damaged in the end of it!
Harry Potter was sitting on his bed, his legs drawn up to his chest, his arms wrapped around his knees, while staring out his window. It was four in the morning, and all was quiet on Privet Drive. Like nothing at all was wrong. And yet, it had been only a month since Sirius had died in the Department of Mysteries. Harry, of course, was still having nightmares. And blaming himself. If I hadn’t been so stupid...or jumped to conclusions so quickly...if I’d only remembered about his gift...if only I’d thought to talk to anyone besides that wretched house elf! If I’d talked to Snape...or maybe Pomfrey...listened to Dumbledore...practiced Occlumency even a little more...he’d still be alive. Harry rested his head against the cool glass of the window, closing his eyes to try and stop the burn caused by the tears he wouldn’t shed.
Just then, one of the school barn owls landed on his windowsill, tapping the glass right in front of Harry’s nose rather louder then necessary, with a package and a letter tied to its leg. He sighed heavily and opened the window, letting the bird in. Harry pet the owl’s head, untied the parcels, handed the owl a treat and watched it fly into the moonless sky.
He stared at his name, scrawled elegantly across the envelope. The handwriting was thin and loopy. He frowned, wondering why Dumbledore would be writing to him. Two weeks at the Dursley’s wasn’t nearly enough time for him to go back to Grimmauld Place. Was something happening with Voldemort? With a bit of malice, he almost hoped there was.
He opened the letter first.
Feel better.
A.D.
That was it? Maybe Malfoy is right. The man really is nuts! With a shrug, he decided it would probably make more sense once he’d opened the package. He untied the string that was looped around the small tin and cast it aside. Upon opening the tin, his eyes widened and his mouth fell open in shock. The Boy Who Lived was struck dumb. “Lemon Drops? The loon sends me fucking LEMON DROPS with a note that says ‘FEEL BETTER’ after my godfather, the only father I’ve ever known, DIES not even FOUR FUCKING WEEKS AGO!?”
He threw the tin across the room, growling mockingly. “Oh yes, Lemon Drops make it ALL better. The Dark Lord cursed you...’Lemon Drop, Severus?’ You had a heart attack...’Lemon Drop, Minerva?’ Your father was poisoned by a giant snake...’Lemon Drop, Ron? How about you, Ginny? Fred? George?’ You turned yourself into a cat by accident...’Lemon Drop, Hermione?’ You got petrified by a basilisk...’Lemon Drop, Mr. Creevey? Or you, Miss Clearwater? No, how about you, Mr. Finch-Fletchley? Mrs. Norris? Sir Nicholas? Hermione? No? Are you sure? Well, if you’re sure...’
Harry laughed, almost hysterically. “And yes, let’s not forget the best one of all! Oh dear, your godfather DIED? ‘Here, Harry, my dear boy! Have a Lemon Drop!’ After all, Lemon Drops just make it ALL FUCKING BETTER!!!” He cackled and scrambled across the room, grabbing up the tin of Lemon Drops.
“Oh yes, all better.” He giggled and clutched the small box to his chest, rocking back and forth and starting to laugh uncontrollably. “All better...all better...all better. Good Lemon Drops...all the bad goes away...oh yes, everything is better with Lemon Drops...”
And that was how Petunia and Vernon Dursley found the Famous Harry Potter three hours later.
No reviews, no fic! *evil grins*