Thud!

Thud!
Arthur: Mirestelfea
Email: mirestelfea@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Nope don’t own them, not making money just playing with the world for a little bit
Rating: R for language
Warning: Mpeg, m/m, don’t read if that makes you go eek!
Summery: The life of Harry Potter was not an easy one…..
Note: This one wanted out, I have no beta so all mistakes are my own. I hope that you enjoy, this is the first light fanfic I have done in a while. It all au not meant to be taken too seriously, so just enjoy.

The life of Harry Potter was not an easy one; not easy at all and this was a fact that he thought that he had come to accept as just a basic fact of his existence. At least he had till that morning when upon entering the Great hall to get some breakfast, Draco Malfoy had walked up to him and in an unmalfoy way, hit him dead in the nose, saying as justification, “I’m pregnant you great git.”

Apparently Draco had not meant it to be said so loudly but all those that had become in arms, stopped in shock, mouths dropped open and all sharing the same look of shock. Neville had been the one to break the silence by laughing so hard that he joined Harry on the floor. Harry had just stared blankly after the obvious upset Draco and wondered what the boy had been on about, for one the idiot was a boy and besides it wasn’t like they had sex or something. He had only come out of his stupor when he found himself hauled to his feet by a very enraged looking Snape and taken out of the hall before others could protest.

Harry now found himself sitting in an amused Dumbledor’s office, seated between Lupin, who was trying hard not to break out into laughter and Sirius who was apparently not trying to hide the fact that he was laughing. Though every now and his blue eyed godfather would attempt to look stern while muttering, “Harry really there is forms of protection to prevent such things.” While an upset Snape was demanding that Harry do something to keep Draco’s honour intact.

Draco just sat sullenly near the fire, every now and then looking with some fear to it as if he expected someone to step out of it and start punishing him. Harry felt the blood drain from his face as he realized who the boy might be waiting for and without realizing it, covered his lower section with his hand, “Oh no I am going to lose my bits aren’t I?”

The gleam in those cold dark eyes seemed to say the thought had cross his mind but Harry knew that Dumbledor would not allow Snape to do that to him. Draco just glared at him as Lupin’s soft hazel eyes seemed to ask why he thought that. Black looked to him, “Now Harry I know Draco is a Malfoy but I am sure that there is no way your bits are going to disappear or fall of by having sex with him.”

Draco and Snape both began to glare more and Snape went to make what was sure to be an acidic comment when Harry spoke up again, “No Lucius will have them removed and probably stuffed to keep as trophies when he finds out.”

Sirius’s face, which had been amused suddenly, became clouded with rage as he started to reassure Harry that there was no way that he would allow that to happen but it was Lupin’s odd quiet laughter that had all of them looking puzzled. Sirius looked his friend, “Well moony are you going to let the rest of us in on your joke or just continue to laugh?”

Lupin looked over to Harry as he spoke in that soft voice of his, that reminded Harry of when the man had taught in their third year, “Lucius will do no such thing Harry nor will he do anything to harm you.”

Draco gave a snort as he leaned closer to Severus as the man sat in the chair next to him. Both looked to the werewolf with looks of disbelief as Draco spoke for the first time, “You don’t know my father like Professor Snape and I do and trust me an upset hippogriff will kinder than him.”

Lupin and Dumbledor shared a look and much to Harry’s annoyance both men had a twinkle in their eyes. Lupin spoke again, “No trust me Draco he won’t do a thing to either of you unless he wants the next Malfoy heir to die before it is born as well as you.” Then he shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly before answering as he looked at Snape this time, “After all you would be surprised how much Lucius understands about this sort of thing Hmm Snape?”

All eyes swung to Snape, who had suddenly colour pink in his cheeks before he hid behind a curtain of black greasy hair. Sirius puzzled for a moment and then let out that loud bark of a laugh of his before almost falling off the chair he was sitting in. Between laughter he managed to choke out, “Oh…I…(laugh)…get…(giggle)..it.”

Harry scowled as he looked at his insane godfather, “Well I am glad someone does because I am still sure my bits are in danger.”

Albus cleared his throat so that all in the room were looking to him, his eyes sparkling even more than before, “I think Harry what Remus is trying to say is that Mr. Malfoy can not harm you in any way without harming Draco and the child he carries. That of course includes your bits and your behind.”

Harry stole a look to Draco who was still looking upset but there was another look on his face as grey blue eyes looked into emerald green ones. Harry looked away wondering what the look had meant as he leaned back in his chair. Draco sighed as his hand began to rub the still tight stomach before speaking, “Okay..” then it hit him as he turned to Snape, “You mean that …Draco has two fathers.”

Snape tried to pretend sudden interest in his dark robes as Draco looked to him also and growled out, “That is none of your concern Mr. Potter.”

Sirius by then had managed to gather his wits enough to glare back at Severus before falling into laughter again, “It’s…not…(gasp)…it’s…his…”

Harry rolled his eyes as the man fell to the floor, still holding his side from all the laughing he had done, “But wait Draco has pale hair like both of his parents..well like his mother and father..oh shite you know what I mean.”

“Veele blood Potter.” Draco hissed out looking at the fire again, sure that he had heard something stirring from in there.

Lupin nodded to Harry, “Very small amount but it is enough that no matter who lucius was with, the child would have blonde hair, Harry.”

“Oh.” Harry said feeling ignorant again of the wizarding world and then turned to Draco, “Um well…then what do you want to do Draco?”

Draco shrugged his shoulders as he toyed with an imaginary piece of lint, “Depends are you accepting that you have a responsibility in this?”

Sirius had finally managed to pull himself together before looking to the boy, “Right, that is something I would like to know. Are you sure it is Harry?”

Harry was fairly certain that if Draco’s look could have called forth a killing curse that his godfather would a smoking piling of goo. Draco sighed, “It happened the day that Nevielle decided that the potion room need redecorating. Harry and I had been hit the worst and both of us had been sent to clean up. We made it halfway down the hall before well…um.”

Harry hit his head with the heel of his hand before slipping down in his chair, “Um well I am sure you all can figure out what had happened. Oh Draco I am sorry I had forgot that had happen but…why…I thought well you’re a boy.”

Snape chuckled this time, “Yes and that means what to a wizard especially when doused in a potion that is a fertility drug.”

Harry shook his head and then walked over to Draco, “I am not going to marry you Draco, at least not yet but I will support you and my child.”

Draco looked up at him and shot back, “Yes well why you would think that I want to marry you Potter and I can support our child without you.”

Harry crossed his arms, “You’re telling me that you Draco Malfoy are going to wipe our child’s butt and change its nappy?”

Draco became defiant as Black broke into laughing fit, followed by a chuckling Lupin, and shot back, “That is why there are nannies, Harry.”

Harry’s jaw dropped opened before he found his voice again, “Oh no my child will not be raised by a nanny, possible watched over by Mrs.Weasely but no nannies.”

“If you think for one moment,” Draco stood up with fire in his eyes, one that had been lacking, “that a Weasely will have anything to do with my child you are mental.”

“She has raised seven kids Draco.” Harry said just as defiant, hating it when Draco attacked his surrogate mother, “I think she has more than qualified you great git.”

Albus stood up and looked to the two, his eyes still twinkling as he spoke, “Personally I think that is a great idea, Mr. Malfoy, that way the two of you can still attend school while she watches over the baby.”

Draco turned on the headmaster ready to yell but decided against it, “Father will not stand for that.”

“I see but this really isn’t about him is it?” Albus smiled at the slytherin, “Besides you will be able to see your child when on break and I will have her watch the child near Professor Snape, so that he might be near if needed.”

Sirius stood this time, “Why would you let HIM help? There is no way that man should be anywhere near this child. No if need be let Lupin help Molly if she needs it.”

Lupin shook his head, “As much as I would like to, there is the fact that I have business to do for the order as well missing four days out of the month.”

“Moony, it’s Snape.” Sirius said in a sort of wine as he looked to the scowling Potion Master.

Lupin shook his head, “I will look on in the tyke but really Sirius, Snape raised his brother and sister as well as Draco if I had to guess.”

Draco seemed to be thinking on what was said before nodding, “Alright as long as my godfather agrees to this.”

Snape sighed looking put out before nodding, “Of course I would hate to see if we let that mutt near him.”

Sirius growled, “Before I was sent away, I have you know I was a great godfather.”

Albus grinned before sitting back down, “Good then we shall see to Harry and Draco’s new apartments so that they may settle in them during the holidays. Now I think I should let Lucius in.”

All resumed their seats before the older Malfoy strolled into the office, a scowl on his face as he looked around the office. By this time a large black dog was hiding behind Albus’s desk. He looked to his son and then to Potter, “Just what is so important that I had to cancel an important business meeting?”

Draco stood and moved away from his seat, “Father, perhaps you should have a seat.”

“What have you done now Draco?” The man hissed out through his teeth.

Draco moved closer to Harry without realizing it as Harry put his arm reassuringly around the blonde boy’s waist, “Congratulation Father, your going to be a grandfather.”

The man looked blankly as he absorbed what Draco had said before he turned on Snape, “What?”

Snape rolled his eyes, “Draco is pregnant.”

Lucius snapped up to his full height as he rounded on his son, “Of all the stupid things Draco, I expected better and just who is the father.”

Harry shot daggers at Lucius with his eyes before speaking, “Why I am Dad.”

The older Malfoy made a resounding thud as he hit the floor in the most ungraceful way that he could and Harry grinned as he whispered, “Hmm don’t think he liked that love.”

Draco looked to Harry and shook his head, “I’m not sure that I do and I am not your love.”

Harry just shrugged his shoulders as the laughter filled the room again and found himself shocked as he noted Snape was one of the one’s laughing. Albus hummed softly to himself as conjured some tea before looking at them all, “I think perhaps that we should attempt to revive Mr. Malfoy but you know this reminds me of the time when I had to tell Minerva’s parents...no perhaps this is not the time for that story.”

His eyes were staring at the door of his office as Minerva walked in with a much sterner look on her face than normal. She looked to the slumped man on the floor and pulled her wand out enervating him. Lucius looked up as she stood over him, “Really Lucius get up off the floor and take a seat will you.”

The death eater didn’t seem to have the will to fight the upset looking teacher and quickly made his way to a seat. Turning she looked to Harry and shook her head, “Now shall we have some tea?”

Albus grinned more as he looked to her with pride, “Minerva I do believe that is my line.”

Shaking her head she sat next to Albus as Lucius glared at his son, “Oh stop it, at least when Harry kills you know who, your son will be protected as well as your family assets.”

Lucius looked at her with a sneer and hissed again, “I am not one of his supporters now anymore than I was before. I told everyone and it was accepted that I was under the imperious curse before.”

Minerva just fixed him with a hard stare as she said something that Harry was sure he would never hear come our of her mouth, “You were no more under the imperious curse than if Tom had his fist up your arse controlling you like a puppet.”

Draco and Harry mouths dropped open as Remus turned in his chair to hide the fact that he was laughing and Severus bowed his head to hide behind his hair. Both men’s shoulders were shaking giving away the fact that they were laughing. Lucius just looked at her shocked, his mouth opening and closing in a way that strongly reminded Harry of a fish out of water.

Albus went to say something but was stopped as Minerva said more to herself, “Though knowing Tom he would probably enjoying his fist up your arse. In fact knowing you, you might like it too Lucius.”

Remus fell off his chair, looking as if he was choking as he gasped for air and Snape was not faring much better, though he had yet to fall from his chair. Harry couldn’t help wonder if perhaps someone was either impersonating his head of the house or had her under an imperious curse as he felt Draco bury his head on his shoulder. Stroking Draco’s soft locks Harry look to one of the few sane people in the room but Albus only winked at Harry as if he had read his thought and shook his head before saying, “Now Minerva I do not think that is appropriate considering the boys are with us.”

She looked to Draco and Harry, which drew Lucius and the rest to look at them also as she said, “I think it is a little late to worry about their innocence now Albus, I mean young Mr. Malfoy is pregnant after all. I am sure they understand about sex by now.”

That seemed to have snapped Lucius out of his stupor as he glared at his son again while regaining some composure, “He will of course come home with me.”

“No,” Said Albus as he took a sip of his tea and then sat back in his chair, “As he is pregnant and seems to want to keep the child he is no longer considered a child. He has the right to say what will happen in his life now.”

Draco sat up straighter his face calculating as he looked at his father, “Madame Pomfrey knows how to deliver a wizard born child, seems she has some practice and besides Professor Snape is here and he is the best potion master of Brittan.”

Lucius went to say something when an upset Narcissa stalked into the room, “Draco Malfoy how dare you get pregnant in school.”

Draco swallowed as he looked at the woman who he always thought of as his mother, “It’s not like I meant to get this way and it was a potion accident.”

She turned on Snape who just gave her a dark look, “I assure you that when I sent your son from the room, he was only covered in a fertility drug. There is no reason Potter and he should have attacked each other.”

Narcissa looked to Harry and then walked over to him. Pulling him to his feet she walked around him and gave him a critical eye before speaking, “Well he’s not bad looking, not badly off from what I have heard, well at least if the Potter fortune rumours are true. I suppose with enough cleaning up he could be presentable and most people love him. Well at least you got impregnated by some not wholly unworthy of you.”

Lucius looked at his wife as if she had gone barking mad, “Narcissa, this is Potter we are talking about.”

She rounded on her husband, for which Harry was glad as he sat next to Draco again, “Oh be quiet Lucius and just sit there while I get this worked out.”

Draco swallowed hard as he buried his face in his hand and felt Harry’s hand run soothingly down his back. He would say thank you if not for the fact he hated it when his parents got like this and gave a pleading look to Snape who just shook his head, “Mother I want to stay in school.”

She smiled at him sweetly as she nodded, “Of course a Malfoy has never quite school for any reason and I am not about to let you be the first.” Turning her gaze to Minerva, “The letter you sent says you have some rooms in mind for Draco and Harry to stay in.”

“Yes of course perhaps when we are done here, you would like to see them.” Minerva answered as she sat up straight back into Professor Mode.

Narcissa nodded, “Is there some one that will be able to take care of the baby when the boys are at school?”

Albus spoke up this time, “Yes the boys decided that Mrs. Weasely would be a good choice.”

Lucius stood up at this, “There is no way in all of Hades that a Weasely will care for a Malfoy.”

“Sit down before I cast a withering spell on your family jewels Lucius.” Narcissa bit out and then smiled to Albus, “I believe that is a good choice as she has plenty of practice with children.”

Snape shifted, “Besides they will be near where I am and so I can help if Mrs. Weasely needs it.”

Narcissa smiled at him, “Well there you go, no reason for worry and thank you Severus.”

He smiled back at her and leaned back in his chair enjoying all that was going on around him, though he wouldn’t let his face show it. Narcissa sat on a chair that had just appeared out of no where and looked to the boys again, “So when is the bonding ceremony?”

Three males paled at once as Draco and Harry began to stammer that there wasn’t going to be one right away, with Lucius agreeing with the boys. Narcissa glared at all three but Lupin, who had managed to stop laughing though there was tears streaming down his face spoke, “I think perhaps that the two should be allowed to get to know each other as well as get comfortable with the idea of the child. Besides it would be in no ones best interest for it to get out that Draco is with Harry’s child.”

Lucius gave a cool smile of thanks to Remus before sitting back, “Yes we would not want any harm come to the Malfoy heir would we Cissa.”

She frowned as her foot bounced up and down, “Well if you would just leave his servitude we wouldn’t have to worry about that would we. That crazy insane madman.”

Harry lost himself in thought as he realized that while Tom was alive there would be a threat to his child, to Draco and he glared for a moment before smiling at her, “Mrs. Malfoy forgive me but you don’t seem like you are much of a supporter.”

She looked to him and gave a smirk, “Of course not, I know what he wants to do with my little dragon, the bastard.”

Harry smiled as he looked to Draco and went to open his mouth but Draco spoke first, “One word and I will curse you Potter with which your bits will be stuffed and above my mantle place.”

Lupin looked at the two with a grin before shaking his head, “I think that the hormones have started to kick in for you son Mrs. Malfoy. Perhaps he should be allowed to go so that he may rest.”

Draco turned a dark look onto the former professor, “I will do no such thing as this is my life and I should be allowed say in it, thank you Lupin.”

Harry had stood by now and walked over to the fire place looking into the flame. Seeing that no one was watching him Harry threw floo powder in and said softly but plainly, “Tom Riddle’s residency.”

Stepping into the green flame with only a large black dog that came out from the desk he whirled away. Falling out of the flames, he brushed himself off as Voldemort looked at him as if not sure he was seeing what he was and then spoke in a hiss, “Ahh Harry finally realized that you can not win.”

Harry snorted as he looked to the pathetic creature before him and then shook his head, “No I have come to give you a chance to renounce what you are doing.”

“You think that you can beat me, Harry.” Tom chuckled as he stood up from his chair and walked over to the boy, “I think perhaps it is time to just kill you.”

Harry yawned as he held his wand loosely in between his fingers, “I suppose that I should be frightened but I’m not, so I will make this quick. Leave me alone and those I love and we won’t have to have the final battle. Yet if you wish to continue just let me know.”

The dark lord laughed as he pulled his wand out and pointed it at Harry. Harry tensed as he tightened his grip on his own wand and felt a tingle at his back. Spinning he saw Peter standing there casting but was interrupted as the black form of a dog jumped on the small fat man, knocking the wand out of fat fingers.

A maniacal laugh filled the room as a green light surrounded Harry and for a moment he felt a tug as if he was holding a port key but his mind shrugged it off. Turning he looked to the snake creature that was Tom and sighed, “Didn’t work before why would it now?”

Tom stood there looking shocked as his gaze dropped down to the wand and began to shake it as if it would make it work better. By this time Harry had walked up to him and just smiled, “You know Tom I think I know what you need.”

Voldemort anger came to surface as he hissed at Harry who just shook his head and tsked him, “Really such language and tell me did your mother really kiss you with that mouth of yours. Scurgify.”

Voldemort’s mouth filled with soap and he growled trying to cast another spell as bubbles fell out of his mouth, “You just wait, Potter I will get you.”

Harry sighed sadly as he close the last bit of distance between him and the upset dark lord and pulled Tom into a hug. At which the Dark lord promptly burst into a white flame before disappearing all together leaving a pile of ash and Harry looked to Sirius who had change back, “Well that was anti-climatic after all I have been through.”

Sirius looked at him for a moment before bursting into laughter, “Leave it to you Harry to kill the most feared wizard with a hug.”

Harry grinned and then nodded to Peter who was sitting in shock, “Well let’s drop him off so you can be cleared of those false charges and I need to get back to a pregnant Draco.”

Sirius winked, “Bet you wish you were facing dementors instead don’t you?”

Harry laughed as he thought about it and nodded, “Yeah I think so, I imagine by now he is ready to kill me.”

Sirius grabbed Harry and Peter so that he could apparate them to the ministry of magic, where a shocked Kingsly was standing talking to a security guard. He pulled his wand and pointed it at Sirius saying in a voice that told Harry he was protecting his godfather, “Sirius Black stay were you are and nothing will happen.”

Harry smiled as the man noticed Peter cowering between the two of them and Sirius whispered, “You know it’s a good thing Draco can’t kill you but I wouldn’t take a chance, you should go.”

“Not till I know that you are safe.” Harry whispered back and then in a loud clear voice said to Kingsly, “Voldemort is dead, Peter was by his side and Sirius witnessed it as well as saved my life from an attack Peter tried to throw on me. If you need a statement you can find Sirius and I at Hogwarts in Dumbledor’s office.”

Kingsly went to say no and then shook his head in apparent defeat, “Alright Harry, go on and I will take Peter to a holding cell.”

With that both men made their way back to the school via Ministry fireplace and found a smiling Albus waiting for them. Harry looked over at Lucius and Snape who were on the ground and then to a highly upset Draco, “What did you do Potter, did you even think of the danger that you might have placed me, the baby in?”

Harry looked to Sirius, who ruffled his hair before walking over to Lupin and pulled him into a deep kiss. Harry looked at Draco, “Sorry about that but there is no way that I was going to let that monster threaten our child or you, so I took care of him.”

Draco looked at Harry in shook, “You did WHAT?”

Harry walked over to Draco and kissed him softly before saying, “I gave him a hug and he was kind enough to drop dead. All that is left is a pile of ash and we can go about raising our child free from his madness.”

Draco punched his arm before leaning against Harry and whispered, “If you ever pull a stunt like that again I will show some of the curses my mother has taught me.”

Harry looked to the woman that Draco knew as his mother and then gulped, “I am sorry Mrs. Malfoy but I couldn’t let that creature live.”

She smiled at him and held her hand up before hugging him, “Thank you Harry and you may call me mom, now I expect you to come and visit me this weekend. I want to get to know you better if you are going to be my son’s bonded some day.”

Harry nodded dutifully before he sat back down and noticed that Remus had managed to pull away from Sirius looking shocked at him. Harry smiled, “We got Peter he is sitting in a holding cell where Kingsly placed him and Professor Dumbledor you will be receiving guest for statements. If you don’t mind I think that Draco and I should get some rest before all hell breaks loose.”

Dumbledor just nodded as he turned to Remus and Sirius, “You don’t mind waiting to celebrate till that is over?”

Sirius smiled sheepishly, “Just because it is my godson, no I don’t mind.”

Harry pulled Draco after him as Narcissa; a recovered Snape and Remus began to talk about different things in life, such as a good renovator for the Black family home. Her eyes had light up as Harry heard her say that she would love to decorate that house if they would let her.

He shook his head and went too immediately to the Gryffindor tower at which Draco went to pull away, “its closer and you have had a trying day, no you are going to sleep in my bed.”

“What about the others.” Draco said softly remembering the punch Hermoine had given him, he really didn’t want a repeat.

Harry looked to him, giving the fat lady the password and stepped in with Draco, Immediately all of those in the common room went in arms till Harry held his hand up, “Alright listen up, One Draco is pregnant with my child, harm him and you harm me, second Voldemort is dead, I killed him less than half hour ago and three we are tired and going to get some rest. Once we are up you better have a party with food going, is that clear.”

Nodding was all his dorm mates could say and then Ron looked to Harry, “Harry, um well what do you want me to tell mum.”

Harry paused, “Tell her that I will need help with the baby, while Draco and I go to classes and I,” Harry rubbed his ribs where Draco elbowed him, “That we would like her to do it.”

Ron nodded as he sat back down next to Hermoine and before she could ask Harry smiled, “I promise when I wake I will tell you two everything, now if you would be kind and make sure that no one interrupts our sleep I would be grateful.”

No one got near the two as all of Gryffindor protected them as they slept and good to his request when they woke up there was food waiting for them as well as a Free Sirius telling tales of days of old. Draco looked to Harry and whispered, “I still don’t like you.”

Harry just kissed him and whispered back, “I know I feel the same way about you, now let’s get some food love.”

No the life of Harry Potter was not an easy one; not easy at all but for once he didn’t mind that it was that way as he held Draco and laughed with his friends.