The Eyes of My Dead Love

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or places they belong to the wonderful
J. K. Rowling: It is her world I just play in it.


The Eyes of My Dead Love


Severus Snape could recall, with disturbing clarity, the day he first met young Hermione Granger. Though she was barely eleven, she conveyed great age and intelligence. This was the first of several oddities, which made him uncomfortable around her.


Perhaps it was the way she carried herself when she walked, or some other more subtle pattern of behavior, which caused Severus a considerable amount of discomfort when he was around her. There was a strange sense of familiarity in everything the young witch did. This familiarity set the Potions Professor on edge any time he would look in her direction, yet he could not help himself.


Time and time again he would find himself staring at the young witch trying desperately to unlock the secret, that it seemed hung about Hermione Granger. Then within a fraction of a second his fascination would turn to anger. So long as he kept himself busy he could ignore the child and the mystery she, unknowingly, harbored. Or at least that was the plan…


“Professor, if we mix bat wings into an infusion of mugwort and cloves it will cancel out the anti-aging effect of the potion.” Hermione announced as much to the rest of the class as to Snape.


The fact that she was, indeed, correct was of no consolation to Snape. In actuality, this made the potions teacher more frustrated and angry. Her voice struck a chord deep within his soul, a cord, which had remained untouched for over a decade. Her voice called him to remember something…something best not remembered. This was a memory that Severus had worked for too long to repress; and he had paid too high a price for this oblivion to be reminded by a little know-it-all.


“Miss Granger is it that you are incapable of keeping your rather large mouth shut? You seem to have a penchant for speaking out of turn. Ten points from Gryffindor.” Her chocolate brown eyes watered at the scathing tone of Snape’s reprimand.


“Rather than detaining you after class, Miss Granger, I have decided instead to assign the entirety of the class a four scroll essay on why bat wings interfere with the anti-aging properties of the infusion we have been working with all week,” Snape smiled wickedly as the class groaned. “Please feel free to thank Miss Granger for your extra work after class.”


Snape then turned his back to the class. Hermione found that she was the target of several slimy objects as they flew through the air and then oozed down her robes. Snape spun around with lightning speed, his wand in hand and said, “I do believe I said after class.” The objects in the air froze in place. “If you cannot obey a simple request I can double the length of your essay.” The class was, wisely, silent at this threat. Snape was not to be trifled with under any circumstances.


Snape dismissed the class for the day and retreated into his office to replenish the stores of ingredients he kept in the class for general use by students. He emerged from the office; his bony white hands filled with jars of toadstools and dried wings of lace-flies, among other curious ingredients. Severus began to refill the jars he’d taken from the shelf. He looked up to see the young witch sobbing uncontrollably, still in her seat, and covered in spoiled potion ingredients.


Something about her demeanor held Snape’s sharp tongue, hers seemed to be akin to his own Hogwarts experience. He felt a pang of guilt; after all it had been his fault that Hermione was left in such condition by her classmates. She tried to apologize, between fits of shaking, to the looming dark figure that stood over her.


She was confused, as she had expected a scolding and had not received one. Hermione decided to risk eye contact with her imposing teacher. “Melinda?” he uttered in a scarcely audible whisper. The expression on Snape’s face was that of shock and sorrow, he stood stock-still and unresponsive. After trying to shake the professor from this disturbing reverie for several minutes, she left the dungeon.

**
She smiled and kissed Severus softly on the lips. “I love you. Severus, when can we get hitched?” She was a remarkably beautiful woman. Her soft light brown tresses flowed gently over her slender frame and her chocolate brown eyes sparkled every time they met his. Those eyes, how he loved to stare into those eyes, to swim in the essence of her soul.


“Not again. We have discussed this before. You know that I love you Melli’, but this is not a good time. It is too dangerous to reveal my feelings for you so openly. You would only be in greater danger were we to wed in the near future.” Severus could see tears beginning to form in the chocolate-brown eyes of his beloved.


“How very touching, I would never have guessed that Severus Snape of all people on earth could have such tender feelings.” Lord Voldemort suddenly appeared and stood over the young couple, a menacing smile playing on his lips. Severus stood to meet the threat, his wand raised and ready, placing himself between Melinda and the Dark Lord.


“Now Severus you should know better than to betray your feelings toward someone in my presence. I have told you before that relationships based on emotion tend to become liabilities.” Voldemort raised his wand.


“Spoken like the unwanted orphan you will always be, Tom Riddle.”


“Were I in your position, I would not say such insolent things.” He raised his wand, “Abscido!” Snape was sent flying away from his love. Before he could react, it was too late. Voldemort raised his wand a second time and pointed it at Melinda, “This is the price you pay for your betrayal of me Severus; you will lose something more dear to you than your own life. Avada Kedavra!” Voldemort laughed coldly and Disapparated.


“Nnnoooo!” Snape screamed frantically scooping the body of his, now dead, love into his arms.
**


Snape was torn from this horribly vivid memory, by the sound of his own scream. He found that he was clutching the table in front of him with such force that his knuckles were white and his hands numb. He pushed himself back to a standing position as he tried to shake the vision that had plagued his dreams for so long.


“Her eyes…” Snape shivered, “I never thought I’d see them again in this life.” He swallowed at the realization that the familiarity about Hermione Granger could hit him so close, at the heart he kept so carefully guarded for so long. Tears flowed from his eyes and he was powerless to fight the pangs of grief that racked and contorted his body. His lanky figure was reduced to small ball, trembling on the dungeon floor.


His bereavement consumed him, bereavement and anger. He had taken the advice of the most despised wizard in history, a wizard whom he hated with every fiber of his being. It was because of Voldemort that he had locked his heart away from the world for thirteen years! It was because of that bastard that he had felt neither joy nor pain for those thirteen years!


Severus Snape died that day, thirteen years ago, and was replaced with an empty shell that bore an astonishing physical resemblance to his former self. Severus was angry with himself as well; he had lost more than a decade of his life to a deception that he should have seen for what it was.


He was reborn with the first tear he shed, and it was all thanks to the eyes of little Hermione Granger.


He would always love Melinda; no amount of time could ever change that. Life is to be lived, not avoided. No amount of pain, however unbearable it my feel at the time, is worth postponing living the small amount of time one is given to its fullest extent.