Ulitmate Crossover of Doom I

A/N: DoomTarts here, well, dorks have drinking games too. This is ours! The rule was every new paragraph had to be a new fandom. You could use stuff from above, but you could only introduce one new fandom at a time! It was fun, try it…things of this nature appear…and they are pretty funny. Anyways, we have determined that whoever guesses correctly *all* of the fandoms we used in the right order will get a prize! We were thinking a story that doesn’t suck, in a fandom one of knows fairly well. (PS, that’s a lot.) So, prepare for laughter, silliness, etc… *heart* `ta Tarts


The Ultimate Crossover of Doom I

Harry looked up from polishing his wand. “Draco, what are you doing in the Gryffindor common room?”

Draco stared at him glassy-eyed. “Harry, I’m in love with you,” Draco replied woodenly.

“Oh, that’s all right then.” Harry started to unbutton his shirt when….

“In the name of the moon, I shall fuck you both!” Sailor Moon appeared on the scene leering at the two boys.

“But Sailor Moon, *I* need you!” Sailor Mercury called from behind her.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay home?” Sailor Moon snapped. “Quit following me around…you…you…Ohtori wannabe!”

Harry and Draco just watched stupefied as rose petals started to swirl around the two girls. Anthy Himemiya came forward and pinned a rose to each of the two girls’ breasts. Utena Kenjo passed out two swords. Anthy turned to Utena.

“Are you sure this is the proper way to audition a new Rose Bride? I know they need another since I’m not there anymore, but isn’t this a little unethical?”

*BAMF*

Nightcrawler appeared suddenly and looked at the chaotic love-fest. “Er…wrong universe?”

The Senshii, the Ohtori Academy Crew, Harry and Draco just looked puzzled.

“So you’re NOT holding Jean Grey hostage? …Tall red-head? Really stacked? Psychic?”

“Oh,” Harry piped up, “You mean Professor Grey, the new DADA teacher?”

The portal closed…and I buzzed through it quickly. Zip! Zip! I thought I heard two flies buzz in behind me. “…new DADA teacher,” I heard a squeaky voice utter. Where were we? We had just been spying on the Yeerks…and were getting attacked by flyswatters…when the portal had appeared. I called each of my friends.

Ax was the only one who answered before a girl in pigtails screamed.

“Ewww! Flies! Save me Sailor Mercury!”

“Clark! Quick! Those mutant insects are here!” a bald man called from the door. “Keep away from those everyone! We don’t know what kind of mutants they are yet, or if they have been infected with meteor rocks!” Lex Luthor looked back out the door. “Clark! For god’s sake, hurry up; stop looking at the moving pictures you can talk to the man on the horse later!”

“LUTHOR! You will pay!” Tatewaki Kuno burst (literally) through the door, kendo stick gloriously erect. “ I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High shall vanquish thee!” Nightcrawler, deciding discretion was the better part of valor decided to BAMF to somewhere more quiet to regroup.

*BAMF!*

Nightcrawler found himself in a far less…chaotic room. At least at first glance…the dead body in the corner caused him to change his mind. That and the gray haired man bursting through the door with a group of people in tow.

“Grissom, CSI…sir…we…need to talk…” Nightcrawler was used to looks of fear…revulsion but not such…avid…curiosity!

“It’s not what looks like, Detective,” the man in the strange Chinese cheongsam said.

“Excuse me, but may I ask you to introduce yourself, sir?” Grissom asked the new man who was currently fouling his already difficult crime scene.

“I’m sorry. I am Count D, I am afraid I do not know any of the others here. I am simply here to retrieve some lost pets of mine. Someone must have swatted the fly and it returned to his original form. If you will allow me to collect him and the remainder of my pets, I’m sure all of this will be cleared up with little difficulty.”

“Oh my god!” Professor McGonagall burst into the room. “It’s Jean! She’s dead!”

Nightcrawler sighed and in an undertone remarked, “Again.”

Sousuke Sagara poked his head in and checked out the body. “Sir, this body was shot with a high grade military weapon. It must have been done by a professionally trained soldier.”

“Oh this is great fun,” L-Sama remarked lounging about on a golden cloud starting at the…horror below her. Xellos pulled his trousers up and sighed. His Goddess really did have the strangest collection of porn. And the way she played with universes…well strange didn’t always mean bad. He smirked as Nightcrawler muttered “again.” Nice to know his universe wasn’t the only one where people kept coming back.

Alice burst into the Multiverse. “Did someone say something about the dead coming back to life?” she asked as she pumped her double barrel shotgun.

“No, not zombies,” Draco said. “It’s okay; you can go back to Racon City. We’ll be fine. This isn’t Danger, this is entertainment,” Draco propped back on to the twin sized bed where he had been sitting with his arm around Harry. With a wave of his hand he landed a large bowl of extra butter movie theater popcorn onto his and Harry’s laps. Alice left with a look of disgust for the fools who had wasted her time.

Dark Mousy flew in from the…ahem…wings.

“WIP! Transform and grab the really not obvious and obscure artifact that is causing the blatant opening of multiple inter-dimensional portals. We have to stop this chaos!”

Wip grabbed the object in question, a weird hippogriff shaped statue and placed in a strangely dorky looking backpack for a phantom thief.

“I had wondered why you had a hippogriff statue, Draco! I knew you hated those!” Harry exclaimed.

“Where did *that* come from?!? I never even noticed it,” Draco said.

“Well, whatever, it is safe hands now. Soon everything here will return to normal,” Dark said.

“Does that mean we can finally screw now?” It was unsure exactly how many couples exclaimed that phrase at the exact same time.